July 10, 2001

Hank called today. He's just recovered from some severe injuries he received in Spain. I didn't even know he was in Spain. Why is it none of the X-men see fit to inform me when something happens to him? Sure, we have our ups and downs, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. I mean Bobby should know how I feel about him. Or even Rogue, Gambit, or Bishop after all we went through together. Do they think that I don't matter because I'm not an X-man or a mutant. Do they see me as that insignificant in Hanks life just because I don't save the world every other week? I just don't know what I would do without Hank in my life one way or another.

Anyway , Hank invited me for lunch at the mansion tomorrow. He says he has a surprise.

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July 11, 2001

I had lunch with Hank today. He's changed. He calls it a secondary mutation. I don't know anything about that, but he looks like a big blue lion. Kind of like a blue Vincent but more powerful. I'm glad he's still blue. It's such a nice color. His eyes are different though. They're not blue anymore. They're yellow like a cat's, very predatory. They make me a little nervous, but he's still the same lovable blue lug. I guess it'll take some time to get used to the new look. He's not so goofy looking now. He's more regal. His fur's changed too. It's denser, more velvety. I like it. He's having trouble with his hands though, they're more paw like now. He says he has to relearn his fine motor control. It just broke my heart to see him struggle so. He's always been so capable. So good with his hands. I know he was embarrassed but I know he'll be able to use them just as good as ever in no time. He was so nervous. I think he was afraid I couldn't deal with the change, but it doesn't really matter to me. He regained his confidence after we went up to his room. Though he's going to have to be a lot more careful with those teeth and claws. They're a lot sharper.

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October 1, 2001

Hank and I went to the Metropolitan Museum gala tonight. I bought the most beautiful silver and blue Celine gown to wear. Hank loved it and so did everyone else. Janet van Dyne had a lovely green Dior gown, the Contessa de la Fontaine had the most spectacular red Valentino gown on ( I suspect seeing her in that gown, or rather the chance of taking it off of her, was the only reason Nick Fury was there) and of course Emma Frost was there in an extremely revealing white (as usual) Gucci dress. I really feel sorry for poor Alicia Masters. She had a wonderful pink Ralph Lauren grown (one I almost bought), but she can't even see how beautiful it is. I don't know if I could bear being blind, especially if I had a talent like hers. Hank was the Belle or rather the Beast of the ball. This was the first big public event he's attended since his transformation. Everyone loved his new look. I had to fight the women off to even get a couple of dances with him, but I'm the one who came home with him

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October 2, 2001

I was afraid of this. A lot of people in the media have decided to pick on Hank, because of his new look. He says it'll blow over, it's just the initial shock. After all he's a noble Prize winning scientist and former Avenger, he says, and just because he's changed physically doesn't change any of the good things he's accomplished. I hope he's right.

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October 5, 2001

Hank and I went to the opera last night. It was lovely, but now the media has decided to go after me now. A photographer snapped a picture of Hank and I kissing. The network says just ignore it, it's just a couple of mutant phobic critics and it'll blow over as soon as people realize that this Dr. Henry McCoy, former Avenger and Noble prize winner. I hope they're right.

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October 17, 2001

This is becoming ridiculous. Hank and I are being constantly hounded by paparazzi whenever we go out. You'd think I was dating Brad Pitt.

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October 24, 2001

I can't even stand to go to the grocery store anymore. All you see on the check out line tabloids are pictures of Hank and I. We've almost quit going out altogether and if we do, we use image inducers.

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November 1, 2001

I chaperoned the Xavier Institute Halloween Dance last night. Hank is so crazy. He dyed himself brown and attached horns to his head and was dressed like the Beast from the Disney cartoon. Hank begged me but I absolutely refused to go as Belle. He's really pushing his new look. If he didn't flaunt it so much I don't think people would talk about it so much. I went as Gilda, people didn't recognize me with my red Rita Hayworth wig and slinky black dress, but the general consensus among the male students and various immature X-Men was that I was "hot". This time Hank had to fight to dance with me. Hank tried to get me to sing "Put the Blame on Mame", but I wouldn't. At least not in public, he got a private performance later on.

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November 2, 2001

Some mercenary student sold pictures of Hank and I at the Halloween dance to the Enquirer. If that wasn't bad enough he cut and pasted it so that I was dressed as Belle. I could kill that kid. Professor Xavier called to apologize and said he would take care of it.

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November 4, 2001

Apparently the network has decided that it has stood all the bad publicity it can stand and has told he that if I want to continue to see Hank I can't be seen in public with him at least until something more controversial comes along to catch the public's attention.

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November 11, 2001

One of my producers came and dumped a sack of letters on my desk today. They were all from people who refused to watch my network because I was seeing a mutant. Then he showed me all the tabloids that I had been avoiding at the grocery store. Most of the articles were discussing our sex life, calling it bestiality. How can people be so sick. Hank is he most wonderful and kind lover I have ever had. So what if he has blue fur. Blue is my favorite color. I can't tell Hank about these letters, they would break his heart.

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November 20, 2001

The network execs called me in today. They said at the very least I need to appear to publicly break up with Hank if I wanted to keep my job. They gave me ten days to make it happen. Hank has no idea what I'm going through here, the way he is cloistered up in Westchester. I get letters and e-mails everyday, from angry viewers.

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November 26, 2001

I had Thanksgiving dinner with Hank at the Institute. I didn't have the heart to tell him about the network's ultimatum. Hanks planned a hot air balloon trip over up-state next week. I sounds like fun.

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November 31, 2001

I've done a very cowardly thing. Tonight, Hank and I were supposed to have our balloon ride, but I went to D.C. instead. I called him from there, I couldn't even face him to break up , because I knew I could never do it. So I left a message on his machine and the network leaked a story to Entertainment Tonight, saying we had broken up. I feel so horrible, but I just couldn't stand the stress anymore. I had pressure from the network, pressure from the media, pressure from the viewers and the stress of trying to keep it all from Hank I didn't want him to be hurt. Today someone sent me a package. In it was a tiny kitten died blue and an awful letter saying this would be what our children would look like and did I really want to give birth to kittens. But I wouldn't care as long as they were Hank's, but I'm so weak. I can't stand it anymore. Hank can go off and save the universe before breakfast but I can't even stand criticism . I don't deserve him. I hope I haven't hurt him terribly.

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Hank closed Trish's diary. He couldn't bear to read anymore. He'd had no idea what she'd gone through and he could no longer try to hate her for hurting him. She'd suffered far more because of their relationship than he had. He silently promised her that he would do everything that was possible to make her whole again.