WAI! Gomenasai! Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been having trouble posting on my account in general…*grrr* but thanks to all who have reviewed and I hope you like this chapter!

Warnings: Mention of NCS, angst, stuff like that.

Kuroi Yume (Black dreams) Chapter 4

Hisoka froze at the mention of Muraki's name.

            "What did you say?"

            "I am Muraki's shadow. I follow him, clean up the messes he makes. Have you ever wondered why Earth authorities have never gone after him?" Rin's voice was bitter. He did not look at Hisoka; he was staring intensely into the door. If Hisoka had never wished for the full scope of his empathy, he did so now. Knowing Rin's feelings at a time like this would give him an anchor to hold on to. He fought hard to keep calm and steady.

            "I'm not sure I understand you." Rin wheeled around, faltering steps taking him to the bed. Once there, his legs seemed to fail him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

            "What's not to understand? He does his dirty work. Once he is done I destroy any evidence. The people he has murdered, all of them are listed under "missing persons" or have perfectly good explanations to their deaths." Hisoka was having a hard time comprehending Rin. It was as if there was an interminable space in which the words echoed until they became incomprehensible.

            "Why?" Rin's hands fell to his lap where they clenched and un-clenched fitfully.

            "I can't interfere. Ever." Even the boy's teeth were clenched now. His whole body was taut as if resisting the pull of some formidable influence. Hisoka felt a pain start to build in the center of his chest.

            "All those people! How can you stand there and watch?" A chill washed over him, as something occurred to him. The thought ripped his breath away. "How long Rin?" The boy looked up, faint traces of surprise showing on his face.

            "What?"

            "How long have you been watching Muraki kill?" Rin's eyes closed in pain, but Hisoka continued. "Where you watching that night? When he…when I…" Rin paused for a moment then said in the smallest of whispers.

            "Yes."

            The pain in Hisoka's chest increased from an ache to a roar. Before he could stop himself he had launched himself at Rin, slamming the boy in the stomach and bearing them both to the floor.

            "You BASTARD! You were there the whole time and did nothing! NOTHING!" Hisoka was pounding Rin with his fists, screaming at him. Rin lay under him, not moving. "Did you have any idea how scared I was? How much it hurt…" Hisoka trailed off sobbing, the pain in his chest causing the sobs to hitch around it. He couldn't maneuver himself off Rin so he just lay there, crying into Rin's chest. He felt the boy's breath snag before he heard Rin's voice say precariously,

            "I'm sorry." Hisoka looked up to see Rin crying too. "I…couldn't interfere, but I felt…it was wrong. But…you can't interfere, never ever." Rin's eyes clouded and his voice took on the sound of a child reciting lessons. "Never ever…" At this change Hisoka scrambled to get off of the boy. Even with his uncooperative legs he managed to push himself up to lean against the bottom of the bed. Rin still did not make a move to get up, eyes unfocused.

            "Rin?" Hisoka reached out a trembling hand to touch Rin's shoulder. He gasped and stiffened. He had wondered why he couldn't sense a thing from Rin. He thought that Muraki had taken away his empathic abilities. But he realized that the doctor had just taken away his control. Hisoka was totally vulnerable for, in his distress, Rin's shields had come down. The Shinigami was swept up in a hurricane. Rin's emotions, having been so forcibly repressed, were now running totally wild. Hisoka was torn between tides of disgust, hatred, loneliness, and self-loathing. Images flashed in front of his vision.

            //A young Rin surrounded by a group of friends, at the center of a ring of laughter. The boy watching from the doorway as his mother comforted a sobbing friend. A slightly older Rin was holding a small baby in his arms, smiling at her. Then the boy staring at his hands, they were covered in blood.//

            Hisoka tried desperately to disentangle his consciousness from Rin. But the silver-haired boy's mind hung onto him. The images were whirling so fast now he could not keep track of them. He couldn't handle any more. He slumped, boneless, to the floor.

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            Rin and Hisoka's mind were still connected, so when Rin came back to himself, he brought Hisoka with him. The blond woke with ringing in his ears and the feeling of having been run over by a steam roller. Rin did not look much better; he slowly sat up as if dazed. He got up shakily and moved to help Hisoka to do the same.

            "Don't touch me." Hisoka hissed. He pushed himself back into a sitting position and glared at Rin. "Let me go." He could feel Rin mentally sigh.

            "I will, I have to touch you to do it." Rin's voice was tired almost pleading. Hisoka reluctantly gave him his hand. The boy took it, and very gently, unwound Hisoka's mind from his. As soon as he let go, Hisoka brought his hand to his chest.

            "You're an empath," He said accusingly. "Why did you hold onto me?" Rin looked hurt for a second, he gestured at the window.

            "Look." Hisoka turned, the window was shattered. "I lost control for a second; if you had gotten hit with the blast that resulted you would have been injured. Melding our minds for a time would prevent that." Hisoka thought for a moment.

            "So that's why your shields are so strong. You're powerful." Rin nodded. Hisoka's eyes narrowed. "You're running away, this room is just a cheap escape option." Rin's eyes snapped to Hisoka's, it was the first time he had seen so much emotion in them.

            "You have no idea what it's like. Watching all those murders, all those things Muraki has done. I can't let myself feel anything." Rin was trembling now. Hisoka could his anger building.

            "What about all the people who have died because of him? Your running away from them is a slap in the face. I can't accept that. YOU are the one who has no idea. Lying in a hospital as my shields deteriorated, all the suffering that was there wearing at me. He didn't just kill me, he tortured me. And you say you can't AFFORD to feel anything?" Hisoka's anger lent him strength; he managed to get his legs under him and stood up to look Rin in the eyes. "You say you can't interfere with Muraki, but you did didn't you? What made you save me?" Rin drew in a shaky breath.

            "I…I felt guilty, I remembered you. It was strange; I try not to remember anything. I couldn't let him hurt you again." Hisoka was still not satisfied.

            "Not enough Rin. I want to know what you think you owe Muraki." Rin looked terrified. He steadied himself a little.

            "Sit down, it's a long story."  

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Author's note: I'm not kidding It IS a long story. Really! Its not that I just haven't thought of it yet. *cough cough* Anyhoo….I'll try to get the next part up ASAP but ya never know how it's gonna blow…*hee I rhymed* ^_^