TEKKEN COMMITTEE:
THE RIVAL TEKKEN COMMITTEE
By the
Girl Tekken Gamer That Needs to Decide on ONE Name (otherwise known as
Saiyan Rage/Lord Kazuya)
It was initiated by a question from Lee(surprisingly enough):
"Did you hear what your father did?"
Kazuya stared at his brother. "Hell no! I don't give a damn what my father does."
Lee shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it's just that he got so upset when we threw him out of that chopper last month that he started his own committee."
Kazuya stared at his brother again. "Say what?"
"He created his own committee, called the 'Rival Tekken Committee'".
Kazuya shook his head. "Big deal. Dad probably just made some cardboard cut-outs, put them all together, and called them his committee."
Lee lit up a cigarette. "Well, I heard there are real people in his committee, and he has every intention of upstaging you."
Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Lee. Committee. Meeting. Now."
"Wow, you must be so angry that you can't talk in complete sentences," observed Lee. Kazuya turned around to glare at Lee.
"No…I just
didn't feel like saying the whole damn thing. Now stop standing there and
call the Committee!"
Narrator: So Kazuya held an emergency meeting in regards to the Rival Tekken Committee.
Kazuya shook his head and laughed. " 'Rival Tekken Committee'…even the name is awful! What the hell does my father think he can accomplish anyway?"
Lei raised his hand.
"What is it, Lei?"
"Just curious…who are you talking to?"
Kazuya jumped out of his chair. "Who the hell did you think I was talking to?!"
Lei answered without thinking, "Yourself."
Kazuya drummed his fingers on his desk, then put Lei in a choke-hold.
"I SUGGEST YOU THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK NEXT TIME!" he shouted as Lei struggled.
"Kazuya, let him go," said Jun. Kazuya looked at Jun with puppy-dog eyes. Jun shook her head. Kazuya released his hold on Lei, who was gasping for air.
"Alright, you're all here for a most obvious reason," stated Kazuya.
Nina raised her hand.
"Yes, Nina?"
"Actually, we don't know why we're here."
Kazuya's jaw fell an inch, then he turned around, facing Lee. "Lee…"
"Yes?"
"You DID tell the committee why they were going to be here, right?"
Lee shrugged his shoulders. "I simply thought that saying there was an emergency meeting would be enough."
Kazuya's eyes turned red. He picked up Lee.
"NEXT TIME, TELL THEM SO I WON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT!!!" exclaimed Kazuya as he tossed Lee out of the window.
"Okay, that was unexpected," remarked Jin.
"Was that…necessary?" asked Julia.
"Don't worry, he'll be okay," assured Kazuya.
Paul was about to comment on the situation, but Kazuya interrupted him: "If you don't want more of the same Paul, I suggest you shut up!"
Paul decided it was best to keep quiet rather than get tossed out of a window.
Moments later, someone was heard going up a flight of stairs. The door flew open, and standing there was Lee.
"That hurt, you know."
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I had to teach you a lesson somehow."
"Yeah, but that's not a way to do it!" cried Lee.
"You want a review?" asked Kazuya as he pointed at the window.
Lee shook his head and arms.
"Dude, so why are we here?' asked Hwoarang.
"You're all here because we have a rival committee."
The committee gasped in shock.
"What does this other committee call themselves?" asked King.
Kazuya snickered. "The 'Rival Tekken Committee'."
The Committee was silent.
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "This is where you're supposed to rag on the name."
"That's just our committee name with the word 'Rival' attached to it!" exclaimed Bryan.
"Isn't that like, not legal or something?" asked Ling.
Lei shook his head. "Actually, it is. If they had slightly changed the spelling, it might have been a different story."
Kat-zumi meowed. The Committee looked at Jun.
"What Kat-zumi is asking is who is in the rival committee," translated Jun. Kat-zumi meowed some more. "Kat-zumi also says that if they have a cute, cuddly, fuzzy mascot, that there's going to be a serious fight."
Paul scoffed. "Hey, we have cat-fights here all the time!" he exclaimed while he looked in Nina and Anna's direction.
"We don't get into that many fights anymore!" exclaimed Nina.
"Speak for yourself," muttered Anna.
Nina pulled Anna's chair from beneath her as she said, "Who the hell was talking to you?!"
Anna grabbed Nina by the ankle and pulled her down, thus initiating another fight.
Most of the Committee began to cheer wildly and place their bets.
"Damn, I thought those two made progress by not fighting in the last episode," Kazuya muttered to himself.
"Uh, 'last episode'?" asked Lee as he raised an eyebrow.
Kazuya pointed at the window.. Lee shut his mouth immediately. Kazuya stood on top of the Committee table.
"ALRIGHT! BACK TO BUSINESS!"
The cheering immediately turned to silence. The Committee members took back their bids, and Nina and Anna seated themselves very quietly.
"Paul, this was all your fault!" exclaimed Kazuya.
Paul sneered as he leaned back in his chair. "Yeah? So? You blame me for most of the things that go wrong he—"
Moments later, Paul was tied up and hung on the ceiling.
"Now then…our cute, cuddly, fuzzy mascot did raise an interesting question."
"What? That they may have a mascot too?" asked Jin.
Kazuya held up a crowbar, ready to beat Jin with it, but self-control finally, FINALLY kicked in. For now, anyway.
"No Jin, what I meant was that we were going to see who was in the Rival Tekken Committee."
Jin rolled his eyes. "Knowing grandfather, it's just a bunch of cardboard cut-outs, Kuma, and himself as a committee."
"That's what I'm hoping…but dad's got plans to upstage me, and nobody, NOBODY, attempts to upstage Kazuya Mishima and gets the hell away with it!" exclaimed Kazuya as he held a fist.
"You just want to know who you're going to play pranks on in the future, huh?" asked Michelle.
Kazuya nodded sheepishly. "Hey, he deserves it. Besides, Michelle, don't you want another shot at that bastard for calling you an ax-murderer?"
Michelle twitched and clutched an ax. "Yes…"
Kazuya turned to Nina. "And Nina, don't you want to shoot him again for insulting your assassin skills?"
Nina pulled out her gatling gun. "Like hell I do!"
Kazuya then approached Jin. "And son…you're not going to let him shoot you and get away with that, right?"
Jin shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno…he did teach me the Mishima Style—"
"RIGHT?!"
"Right, right.." Jin finally agreed. "Weirdo," he muttered.
Kazuya ignored him. "Then it's settled. We're going on a field trip, boys and girls!"
The Committee cheered enthusiastically.
"Lee, you got any extra room in your car?" asked Law.
Lee shook his head. "I wish I did though, pal. Why?"
"Paul drives like a maniac!" Law answered. A sudden hand on his shoulder freaked the younger Law out.
"Hey! I heard my name mentioned! Come on, pal! Let's get going before Kazuya decides to beat me up again," replied Paul (who somehow managed to get out of that bind he was in). With that, Paul grabbed Law, who was flailing his arms and crying, and dragged him outside.
"Can I ride with you?" Ganryu asked Michelle.
"Sorry, my car can only hold two people," Michelle replied.
Ganryu's jaw fell. "Naw-uh! I saw you bring Julia, Ling, and Jin with you when we came in!"
Michelle needed a way to get out of the situation, so she removed her headband, and threw it.
"Oops! Clumsy me!" she said.
"I'll get it for you, beautiful Michelle!" declared Ganryu as he ran to get the thrown headband. Michelle motioned Julia, Ling, and Jin to follow her. They ran out of the room with Michelle before Ganryu could deliver the headband to Michelle.
"Hey Yoshi, you need a ride?" asked Nina.
Yoshimitsu shook his head. 'Thanks for the offer anyway. I can always fly there."
"Won't that make you look really conspicuous?"
Yoshimitsu shrugged his shoulders. "I could always teleport there, but then I'd get bored since I would be the only one there."
Nina thought about that. "Good point."
"Hey Lei, could we stop by the convenience store on the way?" asked Bryan.
Lei looked at Bryan with a puzzled look on his face. "Why?"
Bryan whispered to Lei, "So I can get some M&M's."
Lei nodded. "Oh! Okay, no problem then. I guess you're really sick and tired of Kazuya's harassing you about them at every meeting, huh?"
"Hell yeah I'm tired of it! And I'm sick of replacing my windows because Kazuya keeps throwing bricks saying 'GIVE ME MY M&M's' on it!"
"You know when I'll stop doing that," replied Kazuya.
"See?!"
Lei patted Bryan on the shoulder. "I understand…now come on. We got a job to do!"
"Alright," muttered Bryan. "But I'm still annoyed by it all…"
"I know,
I know…"
Narrator: So the Committee drove to the other side of town, where Heihachi's Rival Tekken Committee was located.
"Wow, two narratives in one story and it's not even the end," commented Kazuya.
Narrator: Yeah…I'm finally getting more work around here.
"Hey, that's always good."
"Who are you talking to?" asked Lee.
Kazuya responded by cramming a cigarette in Lee's mouth. "Shut up and smoke," answered Kazuya. Kazuya looked at the building. "This is where they supposedly are?"
Lee nodded. "On the top floor, right there."
Kazuya rested his chin on his hand and tapped his foot. He snapped his fingers when an idea came to him. "Nina!"
"Yeah?"
"You think you can get in and spy on the committee?"
"Can I?" In a split-second, Nina changed her outfit, and was dressed entirely in black.
"That would work, if it were night!" scoffed Paul.
"Paul, why—" started Kazuya, but Nina held up a hand.
"I got this one."
"He's all yours then," replied Kazuya as he moved out of Nina's way. Nina removed her leather gloves, and immediately dove onto Paul. She broke his arms and legs while the rest of the committee watched.
"Damn, why didn't I ever think of doing that?" Kazuya asked himself.
"Mreow," whined Kat-zumi.
"Good heavens, was that necessary?" asked Jun.
"Okay, my joints hurt," winced Lei.
"I could do that," bragged Bryan. "Watch!" Bryan proceeded to break his left arm, but instead broke it off on accident. "Aw, shit!"
"Dude!" exclaimed Hwoarang.
"You're a damn idiot," said Kazuya. He took Bryan's arm, and beat him with it. After the beating, Kazuya threw the arm at Bryan's head. "Put your damn arm back on! You're freaking Jun out."
Bryan sneered, and attempted to reattach his arm. "As long as he didn't mention his—"
"And I want my damn M&M's. You mentioned going to the convenience store, so I expect some candy-coated chocolate candy goodness!"
Bryan started to beat his arm up with frustration, until he realized he needed that arm.
"Alright Nina, here's a walkie-talkie. I want you to tell me who you see in the Rival Tekken Committee."
Nina saluted. "Okay. I'll be back soon enough." She ran inside the building. The Committee stared at the building for a few minutes.
Kazuya glanced at his watch a few times.
Lee smoked.
Hwoarang tripped.
Ganryu flirted with Michelle.
Bryan re-attached his arm.
Jun conversed with the cat.
Jin and Julia were making out.
Lei slept.
Anna checked her makeup.
Yoshimitsu was performing tricks on his sword.
Ling just stared off into space.
King drank beer.
Paul checked his motorcycle for scratches and dents, while Law was trembling on the ground.
Kazuya couldn't take the waiting anymore. "Anybody up for Jenga?"
"Jenga? I'm so in," said Lei.
"I love Jenga!" exclaimed Julia.
"Alright then, I'll go get it," replied Kazuya. He reached into his trench coat and pulled out some brass knuckles, a very large mallet, a business tycoon magazine, a PlayStation 2, a box of tissues, and finally, Jenga.
"Damn, how deep are those pockets?" asked King.
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure. Hey, I also have Monopoly in here, if you all want to play that too."
"Only if
I get to be the car," said Lee.
Nina walked around the building trying not to look conspicuous (despite the fact that she was dressed in black, and was carrying night-vision goggles). She heard some voices in a room.
"That must be them!" she exclaimed. She sneaked up to the door and listened in on what was being said.
"—so they expect us to make a fourth part now."
"Really? Couldn't we do another 'vs.' Game first? Those always sell for us."
"I guess it depends what people want more. But let's remember that if we do plan on making a fourth part, that we should include more people from the second in there."
Nina appeared puzzled. "'fourth part'? They must mean Tekken 4. 'another vs. Game'…Tekken Tag Tournament 2, no doubt. And then that mention about bringing characters from Tekken 2 into Tekken 4…no way the Rival Committee would be talking about that…would they?"
Nina took
another peek inside.
Beads of sweat decorated Kazuya's forehead as he carefully removed a block from the lower level of the Jenga set to the upper half without knocking it down. He let out a sigh of relief when the blocks didn't topple over.
Julia's turn came. She said a quick prayer, let out a deep breath, then took a block out of the lower half of the set, and placed it on the upper half without incident.
Lei knew he was in trouble. If he made one false move, the whole thing would fall down. The pressure was on him. Why did it always have to be on him? Lei knew he didn't have time to think, because Julia had the attention span of a teenager, and Kazuya's patience was thinner than paper.
Time was running out. Lei had to make a move, and now was the time. He slowly nudged a block from the lower half, and then carefully removed it. He placed the block on the upper half. He waited to see if anything would happen.
Nothing happened.
Lei let out a sigh of relief.
This made the blocks fall down.
"Great going, Lei," said Julia.
"Yeah, good one, Lame Wu-Long," added Kazuya.
"H-how did that happen?!" Lei cried in disbelief.
Before Kazuya could provide a scientific explanation, Nina's voice was heard from the walkie-talkie.
"Kazuya, are you there? I got some interesting news."
Kazuya picked up his walkie-talkie. "Inform me."
Nina rolled her eyes at that last thing Kazuya said. "I've been listening in on the Committee. Apparently, they're debating whether to do work on Tekken 4 or make another Tekken Tag Tournament game."
Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Say what? I thought they would discuss how to upstage us."
Nina shrugged her shoulders. "That's what I thought, but I guess they're talking more about the future of Tekken."
Kazuya laughed. "My father talking about the future of Tekken? Yeah right. Did you get a good look at them?"
Nina squinted her eyes, trying to get a good look inside. "Not really. I'm going to put my night vision goggles on."
"Alright…" Kazuya whistled a tune while waiting. "You see anything yet?"
"I sure do. They all look flat, though, like cardboard cut-outs."
Kazuya slammed his fist into the concrete sidewalk. "I knew it! father made some cheap-ass cut-outs, and is doing their voices and making them move!"
"Actually, I don't think this is the Rival Committee."
Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"
Nina took a better look. "The reason why they looked so two-dimensional is because they ARE. This is the Street Fighter Committee. I've managed to identify Chun-Li, Ryu, Ken, Cammy, Guile, Zangief, Gouki (or is it Akuma?), Nash (or Charlie), Ibuki, Sakura, Dhalsim, Fei Long, Sagat, E. Honda, and too many others to name."
"Damn, figures," cursed Kazuya. "Don't give up, Nina. Keep looking."
"Alright. Nina out."
"So what happened?" asked Lee.
"A misunderstanding, unfortunately. Turned out that the 2-dimensional-looking committee WAS a 2-dimensional-looking committee."
Lee took a drag of his cigarette. "Damn. I forgot that the Street Fighter Committee held meetings in that building."
Kazuya waved his hand. "Let's not worry about it. Nina will find the Rival Committee soon enough."
"Not bloody likely," said Anna. Suddenly, she was hit in the head by a hairbrush. "Ow…" she picked it up, and read the note attached to it.
"At least I'm making myself useful, ho!" it read. Anna clenched her teeth and crumpled up the note.
"Well, since we're going to do much more waiting, who's up for some Monopoly?" asked Kazuya.
"I get to be the car!" exclaimed Lee as he snatched the playing piece.
"Dude, I'm so in!" exclaimed Hwoarang. "I wanna be the iron thingy."
"Just don't trip out in the middle of gameplay," warned Kazuya. "I'm gonna be the boot, since it reminds me of my Doc Martens with the steel toes, mwahahaha…"
Kat-zumi pounced at the dog playing piece.
"Kat-zumi wants to play," said Jun. "However, since Kat-zumi doesn't have opposable thumbs, I will play for her. Kat-zumi will make the decisions, though."
Kazuya shrugged
his shoulders. "Works for me."
Nina continued to walk around, looking for the Rival Committee.
"For a top floor, it's unusually big," she complained. Then, She suddenly heard some voices.
"Damn, don't tell me I've gone in circles," she whined to herself. She decided to make sure by putting on her night vision goggles, and took a peek inside the room. She gasped at what she saw.
"Aw shit! Why'd you have to go and put another damn hotel on Boardwalk?" demanded Lee.
"To get your damn money," answered Kazuya. "Oh, and I'm just waiting for one of you fools to land on it, hwahahaha—"
Nina's voice was heard through the walkie-talkie.
"Ah, some good news, I hope," Kazuya replied. Before he spoke into the walkie-talkie, he grabbed his money and deeds while looking at his fellow playmates distrustfully, and left. Moments later, he grabbed his playing piece, and left.
"Nina! What's going on?" Kazuya finally responded.
"Shh! You have to whisper," she whispered.
"Why?" whispered Kazuya.
"Because I've found the Rival Tekken Committee!" she whispered back.
"Great! So who's in it?"
Nina peered into her goggles. "Well, other than the obvious, I see Eddy, Baek, Wang—"
Kazuya giggled.
"Grow up, Kazuya!"
"Sorry," he apologized.
"—I also see Marshall Law—gonna have to ask about that one, Bruce, Kuma, I think I see Panda too. I also see Armor King, that little girl Jack hung out with—except she's grown up. I also see Jack 2, Prototype Jack, Gun Jack, Kunimitsu?!"
"WHAT?! No way! I bet she joined for spite," replied Kazuya.
"Wouldn't surprise me."
"Well, we have more members than they do. We have eighteen, and they only have fifteen."
"Sixteen", corrected Nina. "I've found Mokujin."
"That friggin' fireplace filler? Dad is just insane. Nina, you stay put. We're going to bust in there and confront those guys." Kazuya turned the walkie-talkie off, and turned his attention to the Committee.
"Alright Committee, I just got a confirmation as to who is in the Rival Tekken Committee!" announced Kazuya.
"Who's in it?" asked Lei.
Kazuya groaned. "Damn, you want me to tell you now? Can't you just find out when we barge in?"
Lei shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care."
"Cool. Alright
Committee, let's go kick some ass!" Commanded Kazuya as he pointed to the
top floor of the building.
Nina had to pass the time, so she decided to play some mini-games on her cellular phone.
"Damn this Memory game for being so addictive," she said under her breath. She was trying to remember where she saw the snowflake, for she had one of the snowflake cards face-up.
"If I was being graded on my memory skills, I would fail so badly," she concluded.
"Nina!"
Nina turned around, and saw Kazuya and the rest of the Committee approach her.
"About time you guys got here. I almost got addicted to that Memory mini-game on my cell phone," said Nina.
"Oh yeah…that game really is addictive. I loved it as a kid," replied Kazuya, who began to get nostalgic.
"Uh, you're not about to get teary-eyed about your traumatic childhood again, are you?" asked Nina.
Kazuya's face changed from nostalgic to serious in a moment. "Hell no."
"So, how do we go inside?" asked Julia. "Do we walk in?"
Kazuya shook his head. "No, we should really make an entrance. You know, have some of us break the door down…okay, ME break the door down…and have Nina jump out of the vents, and then some others can break through the window or something."
"I don't know," said Law. "The vents look small, and we can't jump through the windows because they're so high up."
Kazuya held a finger to retort, but his jaw and shoulders fell. "Damn, you're right." He smacked Law with a phone book. "Thanks for ruining that idea, you bastard!"
"So now what?" asked Julia.
Kazuya was getting back into thinking stance when Yoshimitsu had an idea.
"I could pull off some mad ninja tricks!" he declared.
Kazuya raised
his right eyebrow. "I'm listening."
"So, when am I getting paid?" asked Marshall Law.
"For the tenth time, as soon as we upstage those upstarts in that Committee!" answered Heihachi.
"How long is that going to take? I need to wax my masks, you know," said Kunimitsu.
"If I know my son, he and his little committee will make some sort of dramatic entrance soon."
"But I wanna put the hurt on someone NOW!" exclaimed Bruce. Heihachi threw a chair at Bruce, hitting him in the head.
"Anyone else want to complain?"
The committee remained silent. Suddenly, in a puff of ninja smoke, the Tekken Committee appeared!
"Holy shit, now THAT is what I call an entrance," said Kazuya. Taking his mind off of the entrance for a moment, he pointed at Heihachi. "Heihachi Mishima…dad….YOU have disgraced the Tekken Committee by creating a cheap imitation! How do you justify your actions?"
Heihachi laughed. "I told you I was going to create my own Committee. And I did! Wanna hear how I gathered them?"
Kazuya looked at his watch. He faced the rest of his Committee. "You guys got time to hear how Heihachi got his second-rate committee together?"
"Yeah," answered Nina.
"Yes," answered Jun.
"Sure," answered Yoshimitsu.
"Hell yeah!" exclaimed King.
"Sure, why the hell not," answered Paul.
"Okay," said Forrest Law.
"Dude," answered Hwoarang.
"Like, I totally do….I think," said Ling.
"Whatever," answered Jin.
"Me too," said Julia.
"As do I," added Michelle.
"I can stay for this," said Ganryu.
"I sure can stay," said Anna as she shook her hips.
"Meow," answered Kat-zumi.
"I got time to kill," said Lei.
"I have too much free time," remarked Bryan.
"I may as well," shrugged Lee.
"Great," said Kazuya. He faced his father. "Alright dad, tell your story."
Heihachi smiled, exposing his horrible teeth to Committee and Rival Committee alike.
"Thank God I got my mom's teeth," remarked Kazuya.
Heihachi cleared his throat. "Right after I survived that fall from the chopper, I remembered what I had said about making that Rival Committee, so I set out to do it. I first approached Kunimitsu, who I knew would still be bitter after that fake beauty pageant you all planned."
"And don't think I'll forgive you either!" she added.
"You're just an ingrate, that's all," replied Yoshimitsu.
Heihachi continued. "After I invited Kunimitsu, I approached Wang."
The Tekken Committee snickered, except for Michelle and Julia, who remarked how Wang was almost as big a pervert as Ganryu was.
"Oh, grow up!" exclaimed Heihachi. "Anyway, Wang was not originally going to join my cause because he thought I would be using him to help pursue my goal of upstaging you."
"Well, you ARE using him!" exclaimed Jun.
Heihachi shrugged his shoulders. "You're right. The only way he'd join is if I convinced him that I needed his help fixing the Mishima family."
Kazuya scoffed. "Hey Wang, you gonna take that crap from him? If I were you, I'd kick some serious ass!"
Wang shook his head. "Sorry sonny…but I can't get out unless Heihachi chooses to get rid of me. However, I'll feel better about it if I could get a quick feel of Michelle or Julia—"
Julia, Michelle, and even Ganryu started wailing on Wang.
"Anyway, I approached Marshall Law soon after. Marshall didn't want to join, so I bribed him."
"Yeah well, if you haven't noticed, 'dad', Baek is also in there too! Law and Baek…I mean, COME ON!" exclaimed Lee.
"Hey, I thought maybe Baek would provide me with the same stuff Hwoarang smokes!" retorted the eldest Mishima.
"Dude, what did that clown with the bad teeth say about me?" asked Hwoarang.
"Just keep hallucinating," commanded Kazuya. Hwoarang shrugged his shoulders, and smoked his joint.
"I don't even know why I'm here anymore," Baek muttered under his breath.
Heihachi ignored him. "I approached Bruce soon after. The man was out of work, so I asked him if he wanted a chance to beat up Lei Wu-Long. He said 'hell yes', and joined."
At that moment, Lei and Bruce gave each other evil glares.
"I feel left out," whimpered Bryan.
"Then glare with me," said Lei.
"Okay!" Bryan said cheerfully, and joined in.
Kazuya rolled his eyes.
"I invited Armor King to my Committee for the same reason that you invited King the Second into your Committee."
"I guess even you want a party animal, huh?" asked Kazuya.
A perplexed look came over Heihachi's face. "Wait, you invited King the Second because of his partying abilities? I invited Armor King to cash in on the wrestling fad."
King and Kazuya rolled their eyes. "Alright, how about the Jacks? Especially P.O.S. Jack—what were you thinking?"
"Robots are always interesting to have. Jane's here because she claimed that wherever Jack-2 or Gun Jack went, she would go as well. Prototype Jack is with me because he felt lonely without the other Jacks."
Kazuya's facial expression was a mix of sarcasm and perplexion(What? Perplexion isn't a word? Well, I don't care if perplexion isn't a word, it is NOW!). He was ready to comment, but he changed his mind.
"I already know why you have Kuma and Panda here. One to maim Paul, and the other to try and seduce Ling to join your side, right?"
"They are now," replied Heihachi.
"Thanks for giving him ideas," sneered Paul.
"Paul, you wanna be Kuma's lunch today? Because I can arrange that!"
Paul remained quiet.
"One more question, dad: Mokujin. What the hell?"
"He's our wooden mascot."
Kazuya nodded clumsily. "I…see. Well then, now that we've heard your sorry story, I'm here to issue a challenge to you!"
Heihachi grinned, exposing those horrible teeth again.
"God, dad, what the hell did you do to your teeth?"
"I practiced catching axes in them."
"Just because you saw that in that crappy Anime doesn't mean you DO IT in real life! Stupid dumb-ass!"
"Forget my teeth, son! What challenge were you going to issue to me and my Committee?"
For once, Kazuya was quiet.
"You don't have an idea, do you?" Jun whispered to Kazuya.
"How typical," replied Paul as he yawned.
Kazuya's self-control couldn't last any longer. He grabbed Paul, and tossed him out the window.
"That's the second time he's done that at this week's meeting," remarked Lee.
"Anyway…my challenge to you….well…AH!" Kazuya snapped his fingers. "I got it. I challenge you and your sorry-ass second-rate Tekken Committee knock-offs to a film festival competition!"
"WHAT?!" Exclaimed everyone else, Tekken Committee and Rival Tekken Committee alike.
Kazuya laughed. "Yeah. We'll have awards for best actor, best actress, best picture, best outfit (which I will easily win, because NOBODY messes with the purple suit), best soundtrack, best special effects…you know, the usual. Everyone is welcome to make their own movie. Everyone from their respectable (or second-rate) committee is going to represent their committee as they work on their film. The represented Committee that walks away with the most awards wins. "
Heihachi folded his arms. "Agreed! When will the festival be?"
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "When I can find an open slot on my schedule."
Suddenly, father and son sat down with their schedule books.
"How does two months from now sound to you?" asked Heihachi.
Kazuya adjusted his reading glasses. "No good. Jun and I are having our anniversary then."
"Has it been a year already?"
"Yup. I'm free a month and a half from now."
"Can't do it then. I have to give some speech about world peace."
"Damn! I have a month from now, but that's it."
Heihachi checked his schedule. "Works for me, son!"
"Great!" Kazuya and Heihachi shook hands. Moments later, the schedule books were gone (where, I don't know), and the two were staring at one another once again.
"Then a month from now, my Committee will win more awards than yours," concluded Kazuya.
"Ha! You
only wish it would be so!" exclaimed Heihachi.
BACK AT THE COMMITTEE(the original one)
"Damn, so much has happened today," said Bryan.
"I know…suddenly, I have a movie to make!" exclaimed Anna.
"I never thought I'd actually be in a fighting flick…uh, unless I decide not to make a fighting flick," said Lei.
"I wonder if I could use all kinds of explosives to make the movie look cool," pondered Nina.
"You think a wrestling documentary would be good?" King asked Yoshimitsu. Yoshimitsu shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, we all have a good amount of time to work on our films," reminded Kazuya. "I expect to see some good ones too!"
"Hey, question," announced Bryan.
"Yeah, what is it, Bryan?"
"Are you going to judge? In fact, are you going to rig the whole thing?"
Kazuya was shocked. "Bryan, I am hurt by such a question. Of COURSE I won't rig the damn thing. Why would I go and do that?"
Bryan was about to answer the question.
"Don't answer that. I'll find a judging committee for our film festival, if it makes you happy."
"As long as they don't know you, I'm okay with it," replied Bryan as he leaned back in his chair.
Kazuya scoffed. "Oh, that reminds me…did you ever hit that convenience store?"
Bryan fell back in his chair, but quickly stood up. "Oh yeah! Here, I got your M&Mm's." Bryan tossed Kazuya a King-sized bag of M&M's.
"Finally" Kazuya said to himself as he caught the package. He was about to open it when he looked at it. He glared at Bryan.
Bryan leaned back in his chair. "I'm off the hook now, Lei." Suddenly, a crowbar hit Bryan right in his head, knocking him down.
"Off the hook and into the noose," Lei commented.
"Very funny," Bryan replied. He slowly stood up, aware that he could be hit by more flying objects. "What the hell did I do, man?!"
"These, are PEANUT M&M's. These are not the M&M's you took from me," replied Kazuya.
"I didn't know that!" exclaimed Bryan.
"Well, now you do. You still owe me some damn M&M's. Oh, and I'm eating these," added Kazuya. He noticed the rest of the Committee watching in awe; Yoshimitsu had taped the whole ordeal.
"Yoshimitsu why the hell did you tape this?" asked Kazuya.
"For my movie. I've always wanted to get into making independent films, so I took footage of every 'where's my M&M's' moment you've ever had with Bryan."
"Even the part where I discuss why it's important that I have these M&M's with the aid of finger puppets?" asked Kazuya.
"It's in there," answered Yoshimitsu as he patted his camcorder.
"Normally, I would have had you skewered, Yoshimitsu, however, due to the circumstances you claim to tape them under, I will let this one slide. However, if you do it again, I'm going to steal your sword and sell it on e-bay, got it?"
"Yes sir!" agreed Yoshimitsu.
"Alright then. You all go out and make your movies, except for Yoshi, who just has to edit it, I am sure. Or something. Anyway, just do it, and I'll see you all at next week's meeting. Dismissed!"
The Committee left the room in a hurry, so that they could work on their movies.
"You know what your movie is going to be about?" asked Lee.
Kazuya ate another handful of M&M's. "I'm not sure yet. All I know is that it will involve groupies."
Lee raised an eyebrow. "Uh…okay. I'm thinking of making one about me and my fast car. I'll be kicking ass too while the car is going really fast."
"Sounds like you put a lot of thought into that."
"Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about it. Come on, Lee. We're going to show that Rival Tekken Committee just who is the superior Committee, and who is the second-rate Committee!"
"Okay," replied Lee.
Narrator: With the film festival challenge in place, the Tekken Committee has a month to make their movies to compete with those of the Rival Tekken Committee.
"Hey…this is our first two-parter," observed Kazuya.
Narrator: But what if there's a third part?
Kazuya ate another handful of M&M's. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'm going to make a really good movie, you know."
Narrator: I'm sure. But I guess we don't find out until the next story…or the story after that—
"Dammit, let's just assume that there is only a second part to this story and not a third, okay?"
Narrator:
*rolling eyes* alright, fine, whatever…
AND NOW, A WORD FROM KAZUYA MISHIMA
"I knew that calm spell I had in the last story wouldn't last. Where the writer got the idea of having my character throw people out of windows is beyond me. I think she's making fun of the fact that Mishimas tend to throw one another from high distances…which is just utter coincidence!
"I'd also like to add that I would never use a film festival as a means of proving superiority. That's just silly. But, if it works for the story, who am I to complain? Also, 'perplexion'? That isn't a word. The author knew it wasn't a word, and yet she decides that it is a word. The author is such a psycho; she can't decide on one name. By the way, would Nina's night vision goggles really work in a building in broad daylight? I wasn't too sure about that one right there.
"However, there is something I would like to commend, and that is the part about Heihachi's teeth. I mean, my God! They're terrible! Did you ever see them in Tekken 2? It was the most frightening thing I ever saw! I'm glad the author addressed this, as to warn you all what happens when you try to catch axes in your teeth.
"Well, I
guess that's it then. I've said more than enough now, so I'll just leave
you all anticipating the fifth story. Wow, a fifth one. Can you believe
it? I honestly didn't think the series would carry on for this long, but
I guess I was wrong, which is unusual as I am never wrong. Okay, I'm rambling.
So screw you guys; I'm headed for home."
NEXT EPISODE: It's time for the film festival (at least, we hope it is.) Will Kazuya's Tekken Committee upstage Heihachi's Rival Tekken Committee, or will it be the other way around? Will Bryan remember what kind of M&M's he took from Kazuya? Will Yoshimitsu's documentary of Kazuya and his lost M&M's be a hit with the judging committee? And what of that film Kazuya plans on making that would have groupies? Also, does anybody notice that I can't stop writing this cliffhanger thingy? All this and more in TEKKEN COMMITTEE: The Film Festival of the Iron Fist!
