Chapter 10:
Tugging at Heartstrings
Stardust took a couple of quick breaths of air, and wrinkled up her nose as she inhaled that awful smelling air. "I just d-don't feel right," she told him, and began pulling fur out of her chest, and making a nest on the wood. Her eyes went wide with fright as she realized what she was doing. Her maternal instincts were kicking in, and she was going to have her litter right now...there.
Balm gasped as he realized what was happening. Perfect. Just perfect, now he was ruining someone else's life. "I...I'll just leave," he told her and turned to leave.
At that moment, Stardust began to freak out. She started screaming, and tears rushed down her cheeks. "Balm!" she wailed, and hopped over to him with great difficulty. "Balm, take me back to the cage.NOW!" she demanded to him, not thinking all that rational anymore. She was scared out of her mind, for both her and her litter. What if they didn't make it here? The man had always checked on them and made sure that they were healthy. And there wasn't even any flay here, they would starve! Stardust whimpered as she grabbed Balm's paw. "PLEASE!!" she yelped desperately.
Balm stopped, and looked over his shoulder at Stardust, when she had grabbed his paw with an unusual amount of strength. But when she did so, a tingling sensation when down his foreleg, and the tips of his ears flushed with embarrassment. He quickly pulled away from her, his heart thumping wildly against his ribcage. "I.I." he stammered, as his lips seemed to lock together. Balm just couldn't speak. He looked at Stardust, and then unable to control his feelings, he headed out from the shelf, pushing the blanket gingerly aside with his nose. He hopped around the room a little, trying to clear his mind. Balm felt like a monster for having left Stardust there, when she had begged for him to stay with her. The buck hopped around, until he came to a medium-sized bucket that seemed to have some kind of pure white water dripping from the top. And there was some kind of wooden object with animal hairs on it that was covered in the white water that lay across the bucket. Balm sniffed at the man things, and then withdrew, gagging, as the intoxicating smell inflamed his nostrils. "Ewww! Sick!" he commented to himself, and then his eyes fell onto the towel that he had tripped over earlier. Now, it actually seemed that it could be useful, as Balm's thoughts immediately fell on Stardust. He grinned as he took the towel in his mouth and then dragged it into the shelf, where Stardust was taking refuge.
"BALM!!!" she squealed as the buck returned, his mouth clasping onto the towel. He dragged it all the way into their hideout and then dropped the soft cloth in front of her. "H-here, to help with your nest," he stammered, looking like he wanted to hide in a hole to get away from her.
Despite her pain, Stardust managed to give Balm a weak smile, until she was hit by a fresh wave of pain that caused her to crumple down to the ground because of the hurt.
* * *
It was a long ordeal, but finally, there were six helpless little pink kits on the cloth that was covered in Stardust's fur. The English Lop looked up weakly at Balm, still very tired from the birthing.
As Balm looked at the kits from a safe distance, he felt a sudden yearning, wishing, just hoping that someday these kits were his. Balm sighed, as he realized that they were Cloves, which he had known all along. Some of them looked to be the same colouring as Cloves too. He frowned, and hopped a couple of steps closer to Stardust, being careful, as he knew how crazy some marlis could become when it came to protecting their kits. They went insane over even the littlest things. "You.you okay?" Balm breathed, as one of the kits kicked a little foreleg into the air, and then nestled closer to its marli and the other kits.
Stardust growled softly. "Of course I'm not okay, what does this look like?" The young doe then shook her head and her ears flopped against the sides of her head. "I..I'm sorry, I don't know what's getting into me," she apologized, and licked one of the squirming pink kits.
Balm's eyes went wide, as he watched Stardust. One second she looked angry, and then the next second she was fine and herself. He shuddered, it was just freaky. The buck made a mental note to fall asleep with one eye open just incase she decided to do something unforeseen to him in his deep slumber. Balm decided that the best thing to do would be to change the subject, "So, what do you think happened to the others?" he asked Stardust. "And what about Zenthlay?"
"Ummm.well I don't know," Stardust replied rather haughtily, as she puffed up her fur, and twitched her nose. "What about Zenthlay? How am I supposed to know where she is?" the lop-eared rabbit said to Balm, with a sense of hostility in her voice. She then lay down again beside the six kits, and closed her eyes, falling to sleep immediately as her head touched her forepaws. Poor Stardust had been exhausted.
Balm pulled his lip back in surprise at Stardust's tone of voice, and sighed. He thought it over in his head. Balm settled down on the cold shelf, and he strained his ears as he heard the door creak open. Luckily, the human only peeked his head into the room, and then closed the door tight. "Phew!" Balm said out loud, and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his paw. Finally Balm sat down a fair distance away from Stardust, and uneasily drifted in and out of dreamland.
"Balm, Balm.honey wake up, its time to get up," a doe whose forehead was crinkled with lines of care, shook the little buck. Balm was only little less than a kit at this time, and was a little chubbier than the others, who always taunted him because he was overweight.
Balm shifted in his sleep, and flung his paw up in an attempt to rid himself from his persistent marli. "I'm tired!" he whined, rubbing his eyes as his marli drug him up. Balm let out a huge yawn, showing his little teeth.
Salvendar, Balm's marli, smiled at Balm, and looked over to Zenthlay, who was sitting nearby. "Your sister has been up for a while now, waiting for you. You don't want to keep her waiting, do you?" she asked, her sweet voice filling Balm's ears.
He nuzzled his marli. "Sorry marli, I would never do anything to disappoint you," he grinned at her, and purred as he rubbed against her chest. He loved his marli so much; she was the only other rabbit that truly understood him. Zenthlay did to some extent, but the rest of the kits at the warren were just cruel to him. Particularly one of his marli's best friend's kits. Pinedrop, who always thought that she was better than anyone else.
Salvendar shifted her weight around on her front paws, and then looked at the six other kits that were eagerly hopping all over her, waiting to get out silf. "Come on kits," she smiled at all of them, as they eagerly bounded off to explore the outside world. All but Balm. He rather remained behind, hopping as slowly as he could up silf, hoping that if he went slow enough that they would all be finished playing before he got out silf. His marli stopped behind him. "Balm, I know what's the matter," she said solemnly to him, as she gently nudged him out silf with her nose. "You're scared. Don't worry about it though, I can't see why anyone would have a reason to dislike you, you're a sweet, gentle rabbit." She smiled and then whispered in his ear, "I love you, and no matter what anyone else says, you are the specialist rabbit in the world to me, I wouldn't trade you for all the lettuce in King Darzan's garden." And with a final nudge, Balm was out silf, and Salvendar disappeared into the runs.
Balm looked around, his eyes wide, and his sister Zenthlay hopped over to him. "Come on Balm," she replied to him, and led him over to the large group of hrair kits (about twenty of them). Balm uneasily mingled amoungst the crowd, until he was suddenly pounced upon and slammed onto the ground. He groaned and tried to rub his head in pain as he glanced onto the stupid, grinning face of Pinedrop. Balm's heart sunk, as he got ready to receive a thrashing from her.
But, instead of physically beating Balm, she decided to give him a more hurtful emotional thrashing this time. "You big fat lazy oaf!" Pinedrop spat at him, as she stared into his eyes. "Didn't I tell you not to come out silf again because I didn't want to see your ugly face?"
"Urrmmm.W-well yes," Balm stammered, as his eyes welled over with tears. "J- just leave me alone..please?" he pleaded with Pinedrop, as he lay perfectly still under her weight.
"J-just leave m-me a-alone!" Pinedrop mocked Balm, as a sly grin spread across her face. "You know what; you have to be the most pathetic, stupid buck that I've ever met in my life. If I was you, I would go crawl into a hole where all the no-body's go to die. You're not worthy to even be out silf in Frith's presence. And your marli? What can I say about her? She's just about as weak as you.but not as quite. Ugly doe too," Pinedrop nodded her head in agreeance with herself.
By this time all hrair of the kits had gathered in a circle around Balm and Pinedrop, listening intently to the insults that were being dished out one- sidedly. More than half of them cheered Pinedrop on, antagonizing Balm, and sending out a couple of crude insults about him. Only a select few of Balm's close friends, and maybe one of his other sisters along with Zenthlay supported Balm, yelling for him to stand up for himself.
Although Balm was heavier than Pinedrop, he still didn't move since she had him pinned. He wasn't one to fight back, and never had been.
Getting angry at Balm because he wasn't sticking up for himself, Pinedrop growled at him. "What? Do you want me to mess up your ugly face even more so than it already is?" she jeered at him, and raised a forepaw above his head, her claws gleaming dangerously in the sunlight. She swiped them down on him, cutting his face, and then was about to come down on him again, when she was tackled by Zenthlay.
"Get your filthy paws off my brother, you tharn hrarka doe, or you'll have me to deal with!" she threatened, looking very powerful as she flexed her paws on Pinedrop.
Pinedrop met Zenthlay's gaze for a couple of seconds, and then broke away, pushing Zenthlay off her, and growled as she hopped into the crowd of kist, muttering something about stupid does.
Balm sat where he was, not moving, despite the insults being thrown at him about having his sister save him from the 'big evil Pinedrop.' His face flushed with embarrassment, as he realized he was totally dependant on her, and his marli. And everyone thought he was a weak fool.
Balm woke up, covered in a cold sweat as the past events of kitten hood came back to haunt him. He was once again left with the feeling that no-one cared about him anymore. Balm couldn't help thinking that perhaps he was the big fat lazy oaf that everyone accused him of being. Surely, if that many other thought that about him, then it wouldn't be a lie..would it? The words of his marli always came back to resound in his head when he got into difficult situations. "Don't worry about it though, I can't see why anyone would have a reason to dislike you, you're a sweet, gentle rabbit. I love you, and no matter what anyone else says, you are the specialist rabbit in the world to me, I wouldn't trade you for all the lettuce in King Darzan's garden." Balm sighed, as the sight of his dead marli came back to him. His heart lurched, remembering how even in her death, his marli had looked elegant, and still had a special quality about her that made Balm want to go with her, wherever she was. Sometimes, he still felt like Salvendar was watching over him and making sure that he didn't get into trouble. Actually, the traits of his marli had been coming out more and more in his sister, Zenthlay. That was until she was shot by the farmer.Balm stretched himself and then lay down again; tossing and turning in feverish sleep.
Balm stormed down the burrow, and entered into the space where his marli was residing. "Marli, I need to talk to you," he told her, as he sat down in front of her.
By this time Salvendar's whiskers were grayish, and she was beginning to look a rather old. The years of raising kits had really took their toll on her. "Yes Balm, what is it?" she asked, trying to sound pleasant, though something was bothering her.
"I don't want you watching out for me anymore marli.No following me around..No gathering me flay.I can do all these things myself." Balm raised his head to show how big he was and squared his shoulders. "I mean, I'm a fully grown buck, and fully capable of taking care of myself." He said, as delicately as he could. Truth be told, the buck was a little irked at his marli for always treating him like he was still a kit. But what he didn't understand and the moment was that she did all these things because she cared about him, and wouldn't ever want to see him get hurt.
Salvendar stopped smiling at Balm and hurt filled her eyes. Her slender ears drooped to the sides of her head, as her eyes filled with tears. "B-b- "
"No!" Balm insisted, as his marli tried to reason with him. Balm wasn't going to allow her to manipulate him this time; he had quite enough of her over protectiveness. As Balm looked into Salvendar's soft, brown eyes, he saw a look of sadness and abandonment that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Then without another word, the buck exited out of his marli's burrow and headed silf for sentry duty, leaving his forlorn marli by herself.
Suddenly, Balm heard a crack of lighting and the tree nearby burst into flames.
"Balm! What are you doing? Trying to get yourself killed?" a young doe yelled from the burrows, as the tree began to crack and branches fell to the ground. The buck had been taking on sentry duty, and was intent on doing his job well, except for the fact that he didn't have any common sense.
Balm looked at the doe and then to the burning tree and scuttled down into the run beside the brown doe. "So Zenthlay, what's new?" he asked her, with a stupid grin on his face.
"Oh you know, same old, same old," the doe replied and motioned to the rain outside. "So what was with that, you trying to tempt the Black rabbit?"
"No, no, no, lets not be hasty now," Balm replied, "I was just doing my job."
"Do you see any other sentries out there, huh?" Zenthlay asked, obviously upset that her friend had no common sense himself. "You know, I won't always be here to look out for you, brother, and when I'm gone, what will you do?"
Balm awoke with a shudder, and then sat straight up in the shelf. He shook his head, but the memories of his haunting dreams would not leave him. Now it hit him clearer than ever that he had to help Zenthlay, for her sake and for his marli's sake. Balm's face flushed, as he realized what Zenthlay had always told him had actually come true. And he was devastated. What would he do now that Zenthlay was gone? Balm's eyes shifted as they fell on the sleeping Stardust. Her kits had gathered around her for warmth, well at least four of them had anyways. The other two were unusually still. Balm watched the precious little babies for a moment, but did not see the gentle rising of their full stomachs, nor movement of any other kind. "Stardust.." Balm said hoarsely, but his voice did not carry to the ears of the sleeping marli. So, he repeated it louder this time. "Stardust!" he spoke clearer.
"Wha-What's the matter with you?" Stardust asked drowsily as she was rudely awoken from a most pleasant episode of stuffing her face with carrots and other flay-rah. She rubbed her eyes sleepily with her forepaws as she saw four Balms. Stardust blinked a couple of times, and then her vision focused on the buck before her. "Well.what is it? Are you going to keep me in suspense all day?" Stardust asked. She was especially grumpy as it was too early in the morning.
Balm only shook his head, pointing a trembling finger at Stardust's kits. The ones that weren't moving. His heart sunk, as he saw Stardust's face wretch up in misery. She threw herself on the ground with a tortured cry. Balm winced, and watched, feeling very out of place.
Stardust nudged the two kits with her nose. They didn't move at all, and were stiff and cold. Definitely not a good sign. They were long gone, but Stardust continued to nose them, wishing, hoping with all her heart that they would wake up and beg to be fed once again. "No." she whispered, as she finally admitted defeat and slumped down beside them.
"Stardust."Balm said uncomfortably, as he just thought of something very gruesome. "I'm really, very sorry to have to bring this up now.but what are we going to do with them? They can't stay here because won't they start." Balm paused for a moment, thinking that what he was going to say was totally inappropriate. But someone had to tell her. "Well., you see, they'll ummm." he broke off, unable to tell her.
Stardust nodded. "Balm, it's okay," she said, sorrow causing her to choke out the words. "I know. They'll start to smell," she said softly, looking at the ground. It was horrible. She thought that by escaping with Balm, maybe her kits would actually get to grow up with her, but now..it seemed impossible. "The-the man, he usually takes away the ones that die," she told Balm, as tears slipped out from under her eyelids and pooled underneath him. She began to cry, with huge shuddering sobs. "I.I'm just a hor-horrible.mar-marliiiiiiii," she bellowed, her shoulders heaving.
"Star-Stardust," Balm began and then broke off. He began to retreat into his own little world. The buck sat down where he was, his eyes looking very glazed and far-away. The smell from whatever the men had left in this room was invading his nostril, and it seemed to burn his throat as he swallowed. Balm just wanted to go back home with Zenthlay and marli, tell them all how sorry he was. That he was just a big, fat fool of an oaf, and they were always right. Balm would always need them to lead him, and tell him what to do. Balm began to rock back and forth on his heels, chattering to himself. "I don't deserve to liiiiiiiive!!" he cried out, as his nose twitched anxiously. Unlike most times, Balm did not care to portray himself as a strong, male anymore, and began to whimper like a little kit as tears streamed down his cheek. "Zenthlay...Salvendar..I let you both down..I always did, and I always will! Come take me Black Rabbit of Inle!" Balm cried, now not really aware of what he was saying. He couldn't think straight anymore. "Please I don't want to live." Balm sunk down to the floor, crying softly. "I don't deserve to live, I just ruin everyone's lives," he sobbed, his tears lessening, as he closed his eyes tight, wanting to die.
Stardust was broke from her own pains for a moment when Balm screamed out and watched him until he sunk down to the ground, his eyes closed. Stardust gulped, as she realized what it was she had to do. There was no way that the dead kits could be rid of besides.consuming them. She felt sick at the thought, but it was something that had to be done. Nearly tharn, Stardust did what she knew was necessary for their survival, and almost didn't realize that she had finished the job. She kept chewing until she reached one of the alive kits, and accidentally chewed most of both its ears off. Stardust only realized the horrible mistake that she had made when the kit let out a squeak in protest.
"What's going on?" Stardust asked out loud, as she looked around, breaking out of her trance-like state. She looked around, and then saw what she had done to the precious little kit. "Oh!!" Stardust yelped and then backed away from the helpless pink creature as quickly as possible. "What have I done?" Stardust squealed, unable to wretch her eyes from the kit she had mutilated. "I'm a MONSTER!!" Stardust yelled, cuffing herself in the face with her forepaws.
Balm opened one eye from his depression, and glanced up at Stardust when she had screamed. What was he doing? He should be helping her, not acting like a selfish fool. Who cares about his problems, when Stardust is obviously having more serious ones than him. Balm immediately leapt into action, fueled by things that Zenthlay had told him when she had been with him. Hoping that he wouldn't regret this later, he rammed himself at Stardust quite forcefully, knocking the surprised marli to the ground. Balm pinned her, and although she squirmed a little at first she quickly calmed down, not seeing much reason to struggle.
"Let.me..go." Stardust breathed at Balm, giving him an evil eye.
"Nun, uh, I'm not letting you up until you stop this nonsense," Balm told Stardust firmly, amazed at himself for actually being the rational one this time. For once anyways.
Stardust squeezed her eyes tight, pretending that she wasn't going to listen to him. The ruff of fur on her neck was covered in blood, and she shivered slightly.
"Stardust..listen to me," Balm asked, but Stardust just slightly turned her head away from him. Balm sighed, as he loosened his grip on Stardust. She didn't move, so he let go of her completely. She still remained lying on the ground. "Okay Stardust..please just don't laugh at me or anything, okay?" Balm pleaded with the young doe, who in return said nothing. She wasn't happy. Balm took a deep breath. "Stardust, I know this may sound stupid, but from the moment I laid my eyes on you, I just thought that you've got to be my doe.You're the most beautiful rabbit I've ever seen in my life, and even though I know Zenthlay wouldn't approve of me getting together with a hutch rabbit, I don't care. You know, ever since I met you, it seems that all I cared about was pleasing you, and putting up a good impression of myself.for you" Balm stopped to clear his throat, and eyed Stardust, unsure if she was even listening to him. The doe's ears had flopped over her face so he couldn't even see her eyes. For all he knew, she could be sound asleep, or laughing silently at him. "Stardust," Balm continued, "You're the doe for me. You're the only rabbit that I want to be mine forever, I hope this isn't too much of a strain on your nerves," the buck sighed, as he gently stroked one of her ears with his paw. "I love you Stardust," Balm said, his heart thumping against his chest awaiting her answer.
Tugging at Heartstrings
Stardust took a couple of quick breaths of air, and wrinkled up her nose as she inhaled that awful smelling air. "I just d-don't feel right," she told him, and began pulling fur out of her chest, and making a nest on the wood. Her eyes went wide with fright as she realized what she was doing. Her maternal instincts were kicking in, and she was going to have her litter right now...there.
Balm gasped as he realized what was happening. Perfect. Just perfect, now he was ruining someone else's life. "I...I'll just leave," he told her and turned to leave.
At that moment, Stardust began to freak out. She started screaming, and tears rushed down her cheeks. "Balm!" she wailed, and hopped over to him with great difficulty. "Balm, take me back to the cage.NOW!" she demanded to him, not thinking all that rational anymore. She was scared out of her mind, for both her and her litter. What if they didn't make it here? The man had always checked on them and made sure that they were healthy. And there wasn't even any flay here, they would starve! Stardust whimpered as she grabbed Balm's paw. "PLEASE!!" she yelped desperately.
Balm stopped, and looked over his shoulder at Stardust, when she had grabbed his paw with an unusual amount of strength. But when she did so, a tingling sensation when down his foreleg, and the tips of his ears flushed with embarrassment. He quickly pulled away from her, his heart thumping wildly against his ribcage. "I.I." he stammered, as his lips seemed to lock together. Balm just couldn't speak. He looked at Stardust, and then unable to control his feelings, he headed out from the shelf, pushing the blanket gingerly aside with his nose. He hopped around the room a little, trying to clear his mind. Balm felt like a monster for having left Stardust there, when she had begged for him to stay with her. The buck hopped around, until he came to a medium-sized bucket that seemed to have some kind of pure white water dripping from the top. And there was some kind of wooden object with animal hairs on it that was covered in the white water that lay across the bucket. Balm sniffed at the man things, and then withdrew, gagging, as the intoxicating smell inflamed his nostrils. "Ewww! Sick!" he commented to himself, and then his eyes fell onto the towel that he had tripped over earlier. Now, it actually seemed that it could be useful, as Balm's thoughts immediately fell on Stardust. He grinned as he took the towel in his mouth and then dragged it into the shelf, where Stardust was taking refuge.
"BALM!!!" she squealed as the buck returned, his mouth clasping onto the towel. He dragged it all the way into their hideout and then dropped the soft cloth in front of her. "H-here, to help with your nest," he stammered, looking like he wanted to hide in a hole to get away from her.
Despite her pain, Stardust managed to give Balm a weak smile, until she was hit by a fresh wave of pain that caused her to crumple down to the ground because of the hurt.
* * *
It was a long ordeal, but finally, there were six helpless little pink kits on the cloth that was covered in Stardust's fur. The English Lop looked up weakly at Balm, still very tired from the birthing.
As Balm looked at the kits from a safe distance, he felt a sudden yearning, wishing, just hoping that someday these kits were his. Balm sighed, as he realized that they were Cloves, which he had known all along. Some of them looked to be the same colouring as Cloves too. He frowned, and hopped a couple of steps closer to Stardust, being careful, as he knew how crazy some marlis could become when it came to protecting their kits. They went insane over even the littlest things. "You.you okay?" Balm breathed, as one of the kits kicked a little foreleg into the air, and then nestled closer to its marli and the other kits.
Stardust growled softly. "Of course I'm not okay, what does this look like?" The young doe then shook her head and her ears flopped against the sides of her head. "I..I'm sorry, I don't know what's getting into me," she apologized, and licked one of the squirming pink kits.
Balm's eyes went wide, as he watched Stardust. One second she looked angry, and then the next second she was fine and herself. He shuddered, it was just freaky. The buck made a mental note to fall asleep with one eye open just incase she decided to do something unforeseen to him in his deep slumber. Balm decided that the best thing to do would be to change the subject, "So, what do you think happened to the others?" he asked Stardust. "And what about Zenthlay?"
"Ummm.well I don't know," Stardust replied rather haughtily, as she puffed up her fur, and twitched her nose. "What about Zenthlay? How am I supposed to know where she is?" the lop-eared rabbit said to Balm, with a sense of hostility in her voice. She then lay down again beside the six kits, and closed her eyes, falling to sleep immediately as her head touched her forepaws. Poor Stardust had been exhausted.
Balm pulled his lip back in surprise at Stardust's tone of voice, and sighed. He thought it over in his head. Balm settled down on the cold shelf, and he strained his ears as he heard the door creak open. Luckily, the human only peeked his head into the room, and then closed the door tight. "Phew!" Balm said out loud, and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his paw. Finally Balm sat down a fair distance away from Stardust, and uneasily drifted in and out of dreamland.
"Balm, Balm.honey wake up, its time to get up," a doe whose forehead was crinkled with lines of care, shook the little buck. Balm was only little less than a kit at this time, and was a little chubbier than the others, who always taunted him because he was overweight.
Balm shifted in his sleep, and flung his paw up in an attempt to rid himself from his persistent marli. "I'm tired!" he whined, rubbing his eyes as his marli drug him up. Balm let out a huge yawn, showing his little teeth.
Salvendar, Balm's marli, smiled at Balm, and looked over to Zenthlay, who was sitting nearby. "Your sister has been up for a while now, waiting for you. You don't want to keep her waiting, do you?" she asked, her sweet voice filling Balm's ears.
He nuzzled his marli. "Sorry marli, I would never do anything to disappoint you," he grinned at her, and purred as he rubbed against her chest. He loved his marli so much; she was the only other rabbit that truly understood him. Zenthlay did to some extent, but the rest of the kits at the warren were just cruel to him. Particularly one of his marli's best friend's kits. Pinedrop, who always thought that she was better than anyone else.
Salvendar shifted her weight around on her front paws, and then looked at the six other kits that were eagerly hopping all over her, waiting to get out silf. "Come on kits," she smiled at all of them, as they eagerly bounded off to explore the outside world. All but Balm. He rather remained behind, hopping as slowly as he could up silf, hoping that if he went slow enough that they would all be finished playing before he got out silf. His marli stopped behind him. "Balm, I know what's the matter," she said solemnly to him, as she gently nudged him out silf with her nose. "You're scared. Don't worry about it though, I can't see why anyone would have a reason to dislike you, you're a sweet, gentle rabbit." She smiled and then whispered in his ear, "I love you, and no matter what anyone else says, you are the specialist rabbit in the world to me, I wouldn't trade you for all the lettuce in King Darzan's garden." And with a final nudge, Balm was out silf, and Salvendar disappeared into the runs.
Balm looked around, his eyes wide, and his sister Zenthlay hopped over to him. "Come on Balm," she replied to him, and led him over to the large group of hrair kits (about twenty of them). Balm uneasily mingled amoungst the crowd, until he was suddenly pounced upon and slammed onto the ground. He groaned and tried to rub his head in pain as he glanced onto the stupid, grinning face of Pinedrop. Balm's heart sunk, as he got ready to receive a thrashing from her.
But, instead of physically beating Balm, she decided to give him a more hurtful emotional thrashing this time. "You big fat lazy oaf!" Pinedrop spat at him, as she stared into his eyes. "Didn't I tell you not to come out silf again because I didn't want to see your ugly face?"
"Urrmmm.W-well yes," Balm stammered, as his eyes welled over with tears. "J- just leave me alone..please?" he pleaded with Pinedrop, as he lay perfectly still under her weight.
"J-just leave m-me a-alone!" Pinedrop mocked Balm, as a sly grin spread across her face. "You know what; you have to be the most pathetic, stupid buck that I've ever met in my life. If I was you, I would go crawl into a hole where all the no-body's go to die. You're not worthy to even be out silf in Frith's presence. And your marli? What can I say about her? She's just about as weak as you.but not as quite. Ugly doe too," Pinedrop nodded her head in agreeance with herself.
By this time all hrair of the kits had gathered in a circle around Balm and Pinedrop, listening intently to the insults that were being dished out one- sidedly. More than half of them cheered Pinedrop on, antagonizing Balm, and sending out a couple of crude insults about him. Only a select few of Balm's close friends, and maybe one of his other sisters along with Zenthlay supported Balm, yelling for him to stand up for himself.
Although Balm was heavier than Pinedrop, he still didn't move since she had him pinned. He wasn't one to fight back, and never had been.
Getting angry at Balm because he wasn't sticking up for himself, Pinedrop growled at him. "What? Do you want me to mess up your ugly face even more so than it already is?" she jeered at him, and raised a forepaw above his head, her claws gleaming dangerously in the sunlight. She swiped them down on him, cutting his face, and then was about to come down on him again, when she was tackled by Zenthlay.
"Get your filthy paws off my brother, you tharn hrarka doe, or you'll have me to deal with!" she threatened, looking very powerful as she flexed her paws on Pinedrop.
Pinedrop met Zenthlay's gaze for a couple of seconds, and then broke away, pushing Zenthlay off her, and growled as she hopped into the crowd of kist, muttering something about stupid does.
Balm sat where he was, not moving, despite the insults being thrown at him about having his sister save him from the 'big evil Pinedrop.' His face flushed with embarrassment, as he realized he was totally dependant on her, and his marli. And everyone thought he was a weak fool.
Balm woke up, covered in a cold sweat as the past events of kitten hood came back to haunt him. He was once again left with the feeling that no-one cared about him anymore. Balm couldn't help thinking that perhaps he was the big fat lazy oaf that everyone accused him of being. Surely, if that many other thought that about him, then it wouldn't be a lie..would it? The words of his marli always came back to resound in his head when he got into difficult situations. "Don't worry about it though, I can't see why anyone would have a reason to dislike you, you're a sweet, gentle rabbit. I love you, and no matter what anyone else says, you are the specialist rabbit in the world to me, I wouldn't trade you for all the lettuce in King Darzan's garden." Balm sighed, as the sight of his dead marli came back to him. His heart lurched, remembering how even in her death, his marli had looked elegant, and still had a special quality about her that made Balm want to go with her, wherever she was. Sometimes, he still felt like Salvendar was watching over him and making sure that he didn't get into trouble. Actually, the traits of his marli had been coming out more and more in his sister, Zenthlay. That was until she was shot by the farmer.Balm stretched himself and then lay down again; tossing and turning in feverish sleep.
Balm stormed down the burrow, and entered into the space where his marli was residing. "Marli, I need to talk to you," he told her, as he sat down in front of her.
By this time Salvendar's whiskers were grayish, and she was beginning to look a rather old. The years of raising kits had really took their toll on her. "Yes Balm, what is it?" she asked, trying to sound pleasant, though something was bothering her.
"I don't want you watching out for me anymore marli.No following me around..No gathering me flay.I can do all these things myself." Balm raised his head to show how big he was and squared his shoulders. "I mean, I'm a fully grown buck, and fully capable of taking care of myself." He said, as delicately as he could. Truth be told, the buck was a little irked at his marli for always treating him like he was still a kit. But what he didn't understand and the moment was that she did all these things because she cared about him, and wouldn't ever want to see him get hurt.
Salvendar stopped smiling at Balm and hurt filled her eyes. Her slender ears drooped to the sides of her head, as her eyes filled with tears. "B-b- "
"No!" Balm insisted, as his marli tried to reason with him. Balm wasn't going to allow her to manipulate him this time; he had quite enough of her over protectiveness. As Balm looked into Salvendar's soft, brown eyes, he saw a look of sadness and abandonment that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Then without another word, the buck exited out of his marli's burrow and headed silf for sentry duty, leaving his forlorn marli by herself.
Suddenly, Balm heard a crack of lighting and the tree nearby burst into flames.
"Balm! What are you doing? Trying to get yourself killed?" a young doe yelled from the burrows, as the tree began to crack and branches fell to the ground. The buck had been taking on sentry duty, and was intent on doing his job well, except for the fact that he didn't have any common sense.
Balm looked at the doe and then to the burning tree and scuttled down into the run beside the brown doe. "So Zenthlay, what's new?" he asked her, with a stupid grin on his face.
"Oh you know, same old, same old," the doe replied and motioned to the rain outside. "So what was with that, you trying to tempt the Black rabbit?"
"No, no, no, lets not be hasty now," Balm replied, "I was just doing my job."
"Do you see any other sentries out there, huh?" Zenthlay asked, obviously upset that her friend had no common sense himself. "You know, I won't always be here to look out for you, brother, and when I'm gone, what will you do?"
Balm awoke with a shudder, and then sat straight up in the shelf. He shook his head, but the memories of his haunting dreams would not leave him. Now it hit him clearer than ever that he had to help Zenthlay, for her sake and for his marli's sake. Balm's face flushed, as he realized what Zenthlay had always told him had actually come true. And he was devastated. What would he do now that Zenthlay was gone? Balm's eyes shifted as they fell on the sleeping Stardust. Her kits had gathered around her for warmth, well at least four of them had anyways. The other two were unusually still. Balm watched the precious little babies for a moment, but did not see the gentle rising of their full stomachs, nor movement of any other kind. "Stardust.." Balm said hoarsely, but his voice did not carry to the ears of the sleeping marli. So, he repeated it louder this time. "Stardust!" he spoke clearer.
"Wha-What's the matter with you?" Stardust asked drowsily as she was rudely awoken from a most pleasant episode of stuffing her face with carrots and other flay-rah. She rubbed her eyes sleepily with her forepaws as she saw four Balms. Stardust blinked a couple of times, and then her vision focused on the buck before her. "Well.what is it? Are you going to keep me in suspense all day?" Stardust asked. She was especially grumpy as it was too early in the morning.
Balm only shook his head, pointing a trembling finger at Stardust's kits. The ones that weren't moving. His heart sunk, as he saw Stardust's face wretch up in misery. She threw herself on the ground with a tortured cry. Balm winced, and watched, feeling very out of place.
Stardust nudged the two kits with her nose. They didn't move at all, and were stiff and cold. Definitely not a good sign. They were long gone, but Stardust continued to nose them, wishing, hoping with all her heart that they would wake up and beg to be fed once again. "No." she whispered, as she finally admitted defeat and slumped down beside them.
"Stardust."Balm said uncomfortably, as he just thought of something very gruesome. "I'm really, very sorry to have to bring this up now.but what are we going to do with them? They can't stay here because won't they start." Balm paused for a moment, thinking that what he was going to say was totally inappropriate. But someone had to tell her. "Well., you see, they'll ummm." he broke off, unable to tell her.
Stardust nodded. "Balm, it's okay," she said, sorrow causing her to choke out the words. "I know. They'll start to smell," she said softly, looking at the ground. It was horrible. She thought that by escaping with Balm, maybe her kits would actually get to grow up with her, but now..it seemed impossible. "The-the man, he usually takes away the ones that die," she told Balm, as tears slipped out from under her eyelids and pooled underneath him. She began to cry, with huge shuddering sobs. "I.I'm just a hor-horrible.mar-marliiiiiiii," she bellowed, her shoulders heaving.
"Star-Stardust," Balm began and then broke off. He began to retreat into his own little world. The buck sat down where he was, his eyes looking very glazed and far-away. The smell from whatever the men had left in this room was invading his nostril, and it seemed to burn his throat as he swallowed. Balm just wanted to go back home with Zenthlay and marli, tell them all how sorry he was. That he was just a big, fat fool of an oaf, and they were always right. Balm would always need them to lead him, and tell him what to do. Balm began to rock back and forth on his heels, chattering to himself. "I don't deserve to liiiiiiiive!!" he cried out, as his nose twitched anxiously. Unlike most times, Balm did not care to portray himself as a strong, male anymore, and began to whimper like a little kit as tears streamed down his cheek. "Zenthlay...Salvendar..I let you both down..I always did, and I always will! Come take me Black Rabbit of Inle!" Balm cried, now not really aware of what he was saying. He couldn't think straight anymore. "Please I don't want to live." Balm sunk down to the floor, crying softly. "I don't deserve to live, I just ruin everyone's lives," he sobbed, his tears lessening, as he closed his eyes tight, wanting to die.
Stardust was broke from her own pains for a moment when Balm screamed out and watched him until he sunk down to the ground, his eyes closed. Stardust gulped, as she realized what it was she had to do. There was no way that the dead kits could be rid of besides.consuming them. She felt sick at the thought, but it was something that had to be done. Nearly tharn, Stardust did what she knew was necessary for their survival, and almost didn't realize that she had finished the job. She kept chewing until she reached one of the alive kits, and accidentally chewed most of both its ears off. Stardust only realized the horrible mistake that she had made when the kit let out a squeak in protest.
"What's going on?" Stardust asked out loud, as she looked around, breaking out of her trance-like state. She looked around, and then saw what she had done to the precious little kit. "Oh!!" Stardust yelped and then backed away from the helpless pink creature as quickly as possible. "What have I done?" Stardust squealed, unable to wretch her eyes from the kit she had mutilated. "I'm a MONSTER!!" Stardust yelled, cuffing herself in the face with her forepaws.
Balm opened one eye from his depression, and glanced up at Stardust when she had screamed. What was he doing? He should be helping her, not acting like a selfish fool. Who cares about his problems, when Stardust is obviously having more serious ones than him. Balm immediately leapt into action, fueled by things that Zenthlay had told him when she had been with him. Hoping that he wouldn't regret this later, he rammed himself at Stardust quite forcefully, knocking the surprised marli to the ground. Balm pinned her, and although she squirmed a little at first she quickly calmed down, not seeing much reason to struggle.
"Let.me..go." Stardust breathed at Balm, giving him an evil eye.
"Nun, uh, I'm not letting you up until you stop this nonsense," Balm told Stardust firmly, amazed at himself for actually being the rational one this time. For once anyways.
Stardust squeezed her eyes tight, pretending that she wasn't going to listen to him. The ruff of fur on her neck was covered in blood, and she shivered slightly.
"Stardust..listen to me," Balm asked, but Stardust just slightly turned her head away from him. Balm sighed, as he loosened his grip on Stardust. She didn't move, so he let go of her completely. She still remained lying on the ground. "Okay Stardust..please just don't laugh at me or anything, okay?" Balm pleaded with the young doe, who in return said nothing. She wasn't happy. Balm took a deep breath. "Stardust, I know this may sound stupid, but from the moment I laid my eyes on you, I just thought that you've got to be my doe.You're the most beautiful rabbit I've ever seen in my life, and even though I know Zenthlay wouldn't approve of me getting together with a hutch rabbit, I don't care. You know, ever since I met you, it seems that all I cared about was pleasing you, and putting up a good impression of myself.for you" Balm stopped to clear his throat, and eyed Stardust, unsure if she was even listening to him. The doe's ears had flopped over her face so he couldn't even see her eyes. For all he knew, she could be sound asleep, or laughing silently at him. "Stardust," Balm continued, "You're the doe for me. You're the only rabbit that I want to be mine forever, I hope this isn't too much of a strain on your nerves," the buck sighed, as he gently stroked one of her ears with his paw. "I love you Stardust," Balm said, his heart thumping against his chest awaiting her answer.
