Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Inuyasha.

Belonging nowhere
By miyamoto yui

Part 6 – fall from grace.
"NANI?!?!"

Jaken tripped, face first, onto the grass. Coughing up the dirt that had touched his lips, he spit it out as Rin came over and knelt before him to pick him up. Wiping his mouth with her sleeve, she dusted him off with her hands. She then sat in her place with her hands now folded, a bit protective over her soon-to-be enlarged belly.

"Y-y-you and Sesshomaru-sama…?!" he shouted out in disbelief. Well, not totally. He had liked them together, but for them to progress this far was more than he had expected! He felt kind of hurt for not being informed in the first place.

Rin nodded solemnly as she knelt in front of Jaken.

"Well, how are we going to tell Sesshomaru-sama?!" Jaken said with an exasperated sigh as he held his hands out with the staff about to fall because he was still so shocked.

She patted his head with a heavy heart as she shook her head with a quiet, "I cannot."
Then, she opened her eyes and continued, "I will tell him when it is time."

"You can't do that, Rin!" he said, not wanting to betray more than he knew about the whole situation. "He has to know!"

He couldn't understand this strange, strange girl. "Most women would be running to tell their mate that they are having children. And yet, I find you not even smiling."

Rin couldn't express her anguish. That because of her, Sesshomaru was changing into someone soft. Maybe he needed to be that way, but he was becoming unsure of himself in her world.
She couldn't bear that.

And to say that she had his child, she almost didn't want to suddenly upset or shock him. She didn't know how to exactly explain her mixed feelings, but she had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to tell him just yet.

Patting Jaken on the shoulders, Rin pleaded, "You must not tell him about this. No matter what happens, you mustn't."

"Rin!" he shouted in a scolding tone while holding out his staff towards her.

"Promise me, Jaken." She blinked her eyes. "Please…"

The child that couldn't call him uncle because he wasn't her relative…
The child that couldn't call him '–san' because he was much closer than that…
The child that he had learned to love himself…

How could he refuse her though it would have angered his master for not saying what was truly happening?

Grimly, Jaken nodded his head. "But I still don't understand why you would want to hide such a thing."
He then laughed as he patted Rin's stomach softly. "Sesshomaru-sama now has an heir growing inside of you."
Rin smiled a bit brighter.

But it troubled her for Sesshomaru was known to have hated humans and yet here was a hanyou developing inside of her…
In a way, she was making him weak…

The opposite of why he wandered all these years.
She then hugged Jaken with a soft 'Thank you' to his ear.

Then, she got up and they resumed walking as Jaken lifted up his staff happily. "We have to make plans on what to do with the heir!"
"Oh, Jaken…" she laughed as she lifted her hand to her mouth because he was actually very happy, though shocked at the same time.
"We must train him to be a fighter like his parents!" he smiled while walking.

Rin laughed more as she shook her head. "How can you be so sure it will be a boy? How about if she's a girl?"

"Either way, Sesshomaru-sama will be happy," he said, trying to hint that hiding this wasn't a good idea.

At these words, Rin's heart fluttered happily, wishing that this would be true. At that moment, she found herself still smiling, but wiping tears from her face…

It wasn't out of joy, though.

It was stemming from worry. This feeling inside of her wouldn't go away and it was getting stronger and stronger…
At that moment, she looked up and held her hand out as she felt some drops of rain.

"We must hurry back," Jaken said as he held onto the end of Rin's kimono carefully.

As it was approaching evening, they were almost at the place they had settled when they heard some rustling. As Rin pushed some branches away with Jaken next to her, Rin took a deep breath as she took in what was in front of her.

Color was fading from her face as she began to become numb. She gulped as her fingers held onto her kimono with no words coming out of her open mouth.

"Sesshomaru-sama…" was all that Jaken could mumble as he looked at the scene and back at Rin's crushed expression. "Rin…"
He then held onto the end of her kimono with a shaky hand.

Rin looked down at her belly and patted it softly while softly shaking. Putting her stray hairs calmly behind her ear, she sighed as she looked at Sesshomaru again.

To add more salt to the bitter wound, he wasn't trying to hide it or looking back at her to give her any reason of why he had done it. He wasn't cautiously telling her, "Look away."

He was just silent with his head facing the youkai woman whose hands were wrapping themselves around his shoulders.
With that same smile that she always defaulted to though she was dying inside, Sesshomaru didn't turn around as a youkai woman was underneath his cloak, also naked.

Rin had known for some time that this would have happened. She always feared the day that he would fall out of favor with her…

…but she never wanted that day to come.

Somewhere inside of her, she thought it wouldn't ever come.
But she had been wrong, hadn't she?
She was really child to him after all…
Reality was right before her and it was hitting once more. The cold, frozen numbness was melting and she could painfully feel things again. Her heart was cringing within her like a twisted flower in which something beautiful was becoming indistinguishable.

With a final blow, Sesshomaru's harsh tone reached her ears as she still stared blankly at the scene. He commanded her,

"Go away, Rin."
Tsuzuku…

--

Author's note: Ack…I hope you guys aren't too sad... ^^;;; I promise a happy ending, okay?!
I was thinking of what would be the most cruel thing that Sesshomaru could do to her…and because of that, I couldn't breath while making this chapter. I felt so bad, but that's how it's going…