Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Takahashi-sama.
Belonging nowhere
By miyamoto yui
Part 7 - Suki dakara . (Because I love you.)
Rin was still ingesting the situation, unable to run in any direction as she could feel Jaken looking at her and at his master.
"He doesn't love her..." she thought to herself. At least, that was what she was thinking to herself.
Inside of her, she knew that this picture wasn't wrong because he was with someone else, but that he intentionally wanted to hurt her...but why?
He had cared, hadn't he?
But then, he wouldn't have done this to her either if he HAD loved her in the first place, right?
"LEAVE NOW."
Sesshomaru's commanding tone shoved itself through her ears once more. She turned around and gathered a small bag as she stood up silently while Sesshomaru stood up trying to tie a cloak loosely around himself while the youkai woman with a red eye on her forehead stood up with an annoyed look of being interrupted. Sesshomaru gave her a look as she went away with an obnoxious air about her as she selfish covered herself and walked past Rin.
"Humph," she arrogantly puffed out as she walked into the woods and gave a seducing look towards Sesshomaru before disappearing.
Rin remained standing before Sesshomaru with a melancholic smile that wanted to protect her true feelings. But her eyes still held that defiant air about them. Her hands clenched onto her bag. "I truly understand now."
Sesshomaru stood firm as he watched her. This girl that he had waited to grow up...
She turned around with a calm air around her. Rin had not accepted defeat but was more upset at the fact that she was truly disappointed in him. "I didn't ask you to love me back or anything of that sort. I'm not going to even ask you why you did this."
"I thought you respected me." Looking at him, a single tear was finding itself falling from the dam of tears held back. "I always believed in you, Sesshomaru-sama. That no matter what happened, you would take care of me."
With a cold tone, he gave her a straight look of no remorse or regret in his face. "I guess you were wrong, Rin. The world doesn't work as well as it should."
"I hope I will see you again, Jaken," she said while nodding her head and that strange, sincerely wistful smile on her face. She blinked her eyes as the dam finally fell when she said,
"Goodbye, Sesshomaru-sama."
Sesshomaru thought of the same Rin when she was 9 and she had said sadly, "I hate you, Sesshomaru-sama. You didn't come for me..."
"Get that out of your mind..." he thought to himself as he saw her turn around and walk away with the strength he had taught her all these years.
Her strength was dripping away with each tear falling from her face. Rin found herself running with blurry images going through her head and before her path.
"Why? I don't understand!" she wanted to scream to the world. "Where did I go wrong? When did I lose his affection?"
All Rin wanted was to be with Sesshomaru-sama...
...why was that so hard to ask for?
Every time she hoped to stay somewhere safe and warm, something always happened to ruin that from her...
Still frozen in his place, Jaken was still staring at Rin running away and then he turned around towards Sesshomaru. Shouldn't his master know that the girl he had hurt had his child inside of her? What will happen now? What should he do?
But he had promised her...
He went up to his master. Shaking his head, he laid his staff in front of his master. Many years ago, he had left his clan to follow this awesome youkai that had crossed his path. Because of that, he abandoned the life he was accustomed to, and followed someone whom he didn't even know would accept him as his servant.
The pledge he had given...
What would happen to that now?
The one where ultimate disobedience would mean death for any servant.
He was going to now sacrifice it for a little girl he had grown fond of. Why? Because he felt his master had crossed the line of utter cruelty.
With a heavy heart, Jaken closed his eyes as he said, "I'm sorry, but-"
"Go after her, Jaken," Sesshomaru interrupted with a growl. "Lead her to the south."
Jaken blinked his eyes with a confused expression on his face. "Sesshomaru-sama?"
"Get to her while you can still watch her," Sesshomaru harshly said with a concerned tone.
"But-" Jaken tried to protest with confusion all over his face.
"You are wasting my time." He commanded as Sesshomaru's hand became a fist. "If you stay here any longer, I will truly kill you with my own hands."
Jaken's confusion ceased as Sesshomaru turned around to look at him. His sorrowful eyes were more than enough for Jaken to understand the truth of the matter. He immediately picked up his staff and ran after Rin with a clear response of, "Yes, Sesshomaru-sama!"
Shaking his head, Jaken ran as fast as he could to catch up with the heart-broken Rin who had found herself holding her stomach with one hand and the other rubbing her squinted eyes. She wasn't sobbing as one would have expected her to be.
Rin was actually rubbing the tears, but with no cries from her mouth.
So many things were running through her head...
[flashbacks]
When he blinked and nodded his head and said, "Rin, here."
Sesshomaru gave her a book when she was 9...
--
"AHHH!" she shouted as she was about to fall while trying to reach for something on a tree. He grabbed her waist and shook his head...
--
While falling asleep with Jaken not to far away, Rin sang,
"I look at the stars
With all my might
I have everything I need.
Thank you, gods."
Sesshomaru had come up next to her. While looking up at the stars, she looked up at him as he said, "You sing well. Sing for me again."
She nodded her head and smiled happily as she began to sing for him...
[end of flashbacks]
"You don't understand. And now, I'm all alone," she whispered to herself as she stopped running and was just walking quickly to no particular destination. "All over again."
"Oh no, my-" Then, she began to cough and cough.
"Rin!" someone called after.
"Huh?" She immediately stopped to find it was Jaken coming behind her.
Her face became even more miserable, not at Jaken, but at the fact that now, Sesshomaru wouldn't run after her.
No, he just wasn't the type, after all...
Why would he?
She couldn't even say his name...
Jaken, trying to find something to say, cleared his throat and said, "I'm going to stay with you from now on."
"And what about Sesshomaru-sama?" her eyes said. Even after all that, she thought of him first.
"I'm no longer under his care," Jaken said with a straight face trying to be convincing to her. "Even that was more than I could bear, Rin. And so, I also said goodbye."
He approached her and tugged on her kimono as she fell to her knees. Rin finally embraced Jaken's shoulders. Jaken put one arm on her and patted her back. "Oh, Rin..."
When she was finished, he tried to distract her by saying, "We'll have to get you food."
Rin stopped crying as she got up and put her hand in a fist with determination. Again, she tried to smile that grin that tried to hide everything behind her mask of unhappiness. She patted her stomach lightly.
A tear slipped as Jaken tugged her to go south, just as Sesshomaru had commanded.
When they got there, a youkai was struggling with a man on the dusty path. Rin pulled the youkai by its skin and looked at it straight in the face. Her battle aura began to rise. Then, she threw him carelessly to one side.
The young man got up weakly as he squinted at her while bowing before her. "Thank you very much," he said, almost with his pride being broken.
She shook her head and turned around to leave, just as all the years she had learned from her lord.
The young man protested, "No, I owe you my life. I must repay you."
Politely, she held her hand up with a gentle nod of her head.
The young man with a high ponytail while holding his punctured, bleeding eye said, "Do you live far? I will take you back to your village. It is the least that I can do."
"We are wanderers," Jaken interceded.
The young man, without a second thought, took Rin's hand firmly and nodded to himself, "I will take you to my village."
Sesshomaru, who was watching atop a mountain ledge, nodded his head as he turned around.
**
It had been many days since Jaken had slipped from Rin's sight to find Sesshomaru on the same mountain ledge overlooking the village where Rin and Jaken were staying. Jaken then told him what was happening with Rin. He reported that she was fine and getting acquainted with her new home though there were people who looked at her ways of life as strange.
But as Jaken was about to leave, Sesshomaru asked, "How is the child?"
Jaken's heart stopped for a moment as a sweatdrop rolled down his brow. How could he betray his promise, but how could he lie to his master?
"A child?" Jaken gulped as he turned around to his master. "What are you talking about, Sesshomaru-sama?"
"The one Rin is carrying inside of her womb." He continued to look over the ledge trying to avoid Jaken's eyes.
Jaken, smiling to himself that nothing could get past the Sesshomaru-sama he knew, answered while shaking his head, "They are both doing well."
"..." Sesshomaru continued to give a calm silence.
At that moment, Sesshomaru handed the fur on his shoulder to Jaken. He instructed, "Give this to her. The barrier will protect her and the baby if anything happens."
"Sesshomaru-sama..." he mumbled in disbelief.
If only Rin could have seen what he himself could see right now...
Jaken knew what this meant. This was what would change Sesshomaru's into his true form and was the keeper of some of his power. "Without this, you may not sur-"
"Don't question me," he hissed while folding his arms impatiently. "You have said enough, Jaken."
"I'm sorry, My lord." Jaken nodded his head as he looked at the fur. The fur no one could touch lest they wanted to commit suicide.
"Protect her as much as you can and make sure her mate can support her the way I can't," was the message Sesshomaru was giving with his silence.
As Jaken was about to turn around, he asked, "If I may ask one thing, My lord?"
Sesshomaru grunted with annoyance.
Not really expecting an answer, Jaken questioned, "Why then did you do that to her if you already knew?"
The wind blew and there was no other noise but the rustling of the tree leaves.
Jaken took a few steps and started to leave. He had not really anticipated any answer, especially when it came to Rin.
But he was wrong.
Sesshomaru then answered, "_Because_ I love her."
Jaken's stopped walking as he shook his head sorrowfully not understanding either Rin or Sesshomaru.
"And because she loved you, she lost her voice again," he responded back.
Then, he left without another word as he ran back to the village.
Sesshomaru watched the village peacefully even though his heart was slowly dying inside. He thought to himself,
"You should go to where you came from...
To someone who can take care of you.
For I cannot grow old with you...
Nor will I be able to die with you...
I could give my body to anyone...
...but I wouldn't give anything else. Just to you, Rin...
...even if now, you would never know."
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: Whoa, I didn't know that I would get such strong responses for this fic. I was so happy, that even if you were heart-broken, sad, or mad at me for the last chapter...even confused...because it meant that I did my job as an author. I always try to get an emotional response from my readers so that they feel something from what I'm writing.
Thanks for supporting me so far. It is truly encouraging for me.
Belonging nowhere
By miyamoto yui
Part 7 - Suki dakara . (Because I love you.)
Rin was still ingesting the situation, unable to run in any direction as she could feel Jaken looking at her and at his master.
"He doesn't love her..." she thought to herself. At least, that was what she was thinking to herself.
Inside of her, she knew that this picture wasn't wrong because he was with someone else, but that he intentionally wanted to hurt her...but why?
He had cared, hadn't he?
But then, he wouldn't have done this to her either if he HAD loved her in the first place, right?
"LEAVE NOW."
Sesshomaru's commanding tone shoved itself through her ears once more. She turned around and gathered a small bag as she stood up silently while Sesshomaru stood up trying to tie a cloak loosely around himself while the youkai woman with a red eye on her forehead stood up with an annoyed look of being interrupted. Sesshomaru gave her a look as she went away with an obnoxious air about her as she selfish covered herself and walked past Rin.
"Humph," she arrogantly puffed out as she walked into the woods and gave a seducing look towards Sesshomaru before disappearing.
Rin remained standing before Sesshomaru with a melancholic smile that wanted to protect her true feelings. But her eyes still held that defiant air about them. Her hands clenched onto her bag. "I truly understand now."
Sesshomaru stood firm as he watched her. This girl that he had waited to grow up...
She turned around with a calm air around her. Rin had not accepted defeat but was more upset at the fact that she was truly disappointed in him. "I didn't ask you to love me back or anything of that sort. I'm not going to even ask you why you did this."
"I thought you respected me." Looking at him, a single tear was finding itself falling from the dam of tears held back. "I always believed in you, Sesshomaru-sama. That no matter what happened, you would take care of me."
With a cold tone, he gave her a straight look of no remorse or regret in his face. "I guess you were wrong, Rin. The world doesn't work as well as it should."
"I hope I will see you again, Jaken," she said while nodding her head and that strange, sincerely wistful smile on her face. She blinked her eyes as the dam finally fell when she said,
"Goodbye, Sesshomaru-sama."
Sesshomaru thought of the same Rin when she was 9 and she had said sadly, "I hate you, Sesshomaru-sama. You didn't come for me..."
"Get that out of your mind..." he thought to himself as he saw her turn around and walk away with the strength he had taught her all these years.
Her strength was dripping away with each tear falling from her face. Rin found herself running with blurry images going through her head and before her path.
"Why? I don't understand!" she wanted to scream to the world. "Where did I go wrong? When did I lose his affection?"
All Rin wanted was to be with Sesshomaru-sama...
...why was that so hard to ask for?
Every time she hoped to stay somewhere safe and warm, something always happened to ruin that from her...
Still frozen in his place, Jaken was still staring at Rin running away and then he turned around towards Sesshomaru. Shouldn't his master know that the girl he had hurt had his child inside of her? What will happen now? What should he do?
But he had promised her...
He went up to his master. Shaking his head, he laid his staff in front of his master. Many years ago, he had left his clan to follow this awesome youkai that had crossed his path. Because of that, he abandoned the life he was accustomed to, and followed someone whom he didn't even know would accept him as his servant.
The pledge he had given...
What would happen to that now?
The one where ultimate disobedience would mean death for any servant.
He was going to now sacrifice it for a little girl he had grown fond of. Why? Because he felt his master had crossed the line of utter cruelty.
With a heavy heart, Jaken closed his eyes as he said, "I'm sorry, but-"
"Go after her, Jaken," Sesshomaru interrupted with a growl. "Lead her to the south."
Jaken blinked his eyes with a confused expression on his face. "Sesshomaru-sama?"
"Get to her while you can still watch her," Sesshomaru harshly said with a concerned tone.
"But-" Jaken tried to protest with confusion all over his face.
"You are wasting my time." He commanded as Sesshomaru's hand became a fist. "If you stay here any longer, I will truly kill you with my own hands."
Jaken's confusion ceased as Sesshomaru turned around to look at him. His sorrowful eyes were more than enough for Jaken to understand the truth of the matter. He immediately picked up his staff and ran after Rin with a clear response of, "Yes, Sesshomaru-sama!"
Shaking his head, Jaken ran as fast as he could to catch up with the heart-broken Rin who had found herself holding her stomach with one hand and the other rubbing her squinted eyes. She wasn't sobbing as one would have expected her to be.
Rin was actually rubbing the tears, but with no cries from her mouth.
So many things were running through her head...
[flashbacks]
When he blinked and nodded his head and said, "Rin, here."
Sesshomaru gave her a book when she was 9...
--
"AHHH!" she shouted as she was about to fall while trying to reach for something on a tree. He grabbed her waist and shook his head...
--
While falling asleep with Jaken not to far away, Rin sang,
"I look at the stars
With all my might
I have everything I need.
Thank you, gods."
Sesshomaru had come up next to her. While looking up at the stars, she looked up at him as he said, "You sing well. Sing for me again."
She nodded her head and smiled happily as she began to sing for him...
[end of flashbacks]
"You don't understand. And now, I'm all alone," she whispered to herself as she stopped running and was just walking quickly to no particular destination. "All over again."
"Oh no, my-" Then, she began to cough and cough.
"Rin!" someone called after.
"Huh?" She immediately stopped to find it was Jaken coming behind her.
Her face became even more miserable, not at Jaken, but at the fact that now, Sesshomaru wouldn't run after her.
No, he just wasn't the type, after all...
Why would he?
She couldn't even say his name...
Jaken, trying to find something to say, cleared his throat and said, "I'm going to stay with you from now on."
"And what about Sesshomaru-sama?" her eyes said. Even after all that, she thought of him first.
"I'm no longer under his care," Jaken said with a straight face trying to be convincing to her. "Even that was more than I could bear, Rin. And so, I also said goodbye."
He approached her and tugged on her kimono as she fell to her knees. Rin finally embraced Jaken's shoulders. Jaken put one arm on her and patted her back. "Oh, Rin..."
When she was finished, he tried to distract her by saying, "We'll have to get you food."
Rin stopped crying as she got up and put her hand in a fist with determination. Again, she tried to smile that grin that tried to hide everything behind her mask of unhappiness. She patted her stomach lightly.
A tear slipped as Jaken tugged her to go south, just as Sesshomaru had commanded.
When they got there, a youkai was struggling with a man on the dusty path. Rin pulled the youkai by its skin and looked at it straight in the face. Her battle aura began to rise. Then, she threw him carelessly to one side.
The young man got up weakly as he squinted at her while bowing before her. "Thank you very much," he said, almost with his pride being broken.
She shook her head and turned around to leave, just as all the years she had learned from her lord.
The young man protested, "No, I owe you my life. I must repay you."
Politely, she held her hand up with a gentle nod of her head.
The young man with a high ponytail while holding his punctured, bleeding eye said, "Do you live far? I will take you back to your village. It is the least that I can do."
"We are wanderers," Jaken interceded.
The young man, without a second thought, took Rin's hand firmly and nodded to himself, "I will take you to my village."
Sesshomaru, who was watching atop a mountain ledge, nodded his head as he turned around.
**
It had been many days since Jaken had slipped from Rin's sight to find Sesshomaru on the same mountain ledge overlooking the village where Rin and Jaken were staying. Jaken then told him what was happening with Rin. He reported that she was fine and getting acquainted with her new home though there were people who looked at her ways of life as strange.
But as Jaken was about to leave, Sesshomaru asked, "How is the child?"
Jaken's heart stopped for a moment as a sweatdrop rolled down his brow. How could he betray his promise, but how could he lie to his master?
"A child?" Jaken gulped as he turned around to his master. "What are you talking about, Sesshomaru-sama?"
"The one Rin is carrying inside of her womb." He continued to look over the ledge trying to avoid Jaken's eyes.
Jaken, smiling to himself that nothing could get past the Sesshomaru-sama he knew, answered while shaking his head, "They are both doing well."
"..." Sesshomaru continued to give a calm silence.
At that moment, Sesshomaru handed the fur on his shoulder to Jaken. He instructed, "Give this to her. The barrier will protect her and the baby if anything happens."
"Sesshomaru-sama..." he mumbled in disbelief.
If only Rin could have seen what he himself could see right now...
Jaken knew what this meant. This was what would change Sesshomaru's into his true form and was the keeper of some of his power. "Without this, you may not sur-"
"Don't question me," he hissed while folding his arms impatiently. "You have said enough, Jaken."
"I'm sorry, My lord." Jaken nodded his head as he looked at the fur. The fur no one could touch lest they wanted to commit suicide.
"Protect her as much as you can and make sure her mate can support her the way I can't," was the message Sesshomaru was giving with his silence.
As Jaken was about to turn around, he asked, "If I may ask one thing, My lord?"
Sesshomaru grunted with annoyance.
Not really expecting an answer, Jaken questioned, "Why then did you do that to her if you already knew?"
The wind blew and there was no other noise but the rustling of the tree leaves.
Jaken took a few steps and started to leave. He had not really anticipated any answer, especially when it came to Rin.
But he was wrong.
Sesshomaru then answered, "_Because_ I love her."
Jaken's stopped walking as he shook his head sorrowfully not understanding either Rin or Sesshomaru.
"And because she loved you, she lost her voice again," he responded back.
Then, he left without another word as he ran back to the village.
Sesshomaru watched the village peacefully even though his heart was slowly dying inside. He thought to himself,
"You should go to where you came from...
To someone who can take care of you.
For I cannot grow old with you...
Nor will I be able to die with you...
I could give my body to anyone...
...but I wouldn't give anything else. Just to you, Rin...
...even if now, you would never know."
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: Whoa, I didn't know that I would get such strong responses for this fic. I was so happy, that even if you were heart-broken, sad, or mad at me for the last chapter...even confused...because it meant that I did my job as an author. I always try to get an emotional response from my readers so that they feel something from what I'm writing.
Thanks for supporting me so far. It is truly encouraging for me.
