I'm Just A Sweet Transvestite Chapter 5- Corsets and Pole dancing

A/N: I am so not sure about this chapter! Even I can't see Eames doing this for any reason - maybe other than her job. So I know she'll be out of character, just put it down to her devotion to her job! I did write an alternative, so if nobody likes this one I'll change it. This chapter may be a little bit racy, but I tried to keep it low.

Disclaimer: Don't sue me

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Yankee Doodle Club

Eames dragged Goren through the crowd to find the man she was talking to. She found him at the bar. He smiled when he saw her.

"Well, I didn't think you'd be back so soon" he said surprised. "And you brought your friend," he said looking Goren up and down.

"Listen, we need your help. Can you make him gay and me.something?" Eames asked. Goren looked at her wide-eyed.

"Alex? What.no!" he protested. Eames turned around and looked at him sternly.

"Goren, this isn't exactly a walk in the park for me either, but we have no choice." Eames walked around for in circles for a while, hand on him and rubbing her forehead.

"Those bouncers should have just let us in. We are detectives damn it!" Goren said under his breath, but Joe heard.

"Actually there was an incident last year when a man claiming to be a cop killed a bar tender. He flashed some badge and the bouncers let him in. Then he shot the woman. His mate got drunk and crashed his car and the shooter blamed the waitress. I'll be glad to help," Joe said.

"You'll get paid," Eames explained.

"Get into Vestie's? I've been trying for ages to get in, but they think I'm not gay. I mean hello?" He said, pointing to himself. He pulled the two backstage and found some clothes for them.

"He just needs to change out of the suit. But you, Alex. You need a whole new look," he said.

"How do you know what to do?" Eames asked.

"Remember, I have connections" he said and got to work.

Goren looked down at his clothes as Joe led Eames away.

"Why? What's wrong with my clothes? Do I really look gay? It's the hair isn't it? Or is it that rough unshaven look? Come on guys, tell me!" He looked himself over in the mirror. Eames looked back and laughed at him.

"Goren, you're fine. If it is any consolation to you, I think you're adorable."

~*~*~*~*~*

Not long after, Goren had his suit off and a pair of dark tan cord pants and a black muscle shirt on and Eames had her hair back and wore a showgirl costume.

"Ok now he looks totally hot.don't worry, I'm attached.and you, Miss, look just like one of the dancers." Eames had on a Moulin Rouge type red and black lace corset with black fishnet stockings and a top hat. She had black high heels and a black frill on the bottom of the corset just long enough to cover her butt. She had her make up done and Joe told her to act sexy.

"Ok now I'll be right back" Joe said and ducked into another dressing room. Eames looked at herself in the mirror. Goren stared out the corner of his eye at her. He'd never seen her in anything less than a knee length skirt and ¾ top, let alone corset and stockings.

"Do I really look ok?" she asked him, adjusting her corset. It was tight and her legs had pins and needles. How did people wear them? He cleared his throat.

"Sure. You'll get in easily," he said, shoving his hands in his back pockets. Secretly he thought she looked hot, but he didn't want to let on. She still fiddled with her costume and it was clear to Goren she felt uncomfortable. He undid the string and let it out a bit. She let out a sigh of relief. He found a long jacket and put over her.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much. You don't look to bad yourself there, Bobby," she complimented. He looked at his pants. He didn't particularly like them. They were too baggy

"You think?" he asked. She nodded.

"That is the latest fashion amongst guys these days," she said. Joe came back with a few more things to add to Eames' costume. A pair of earrings, a garter and lace to put over her black hat to cover her eyes. It added an air of mystery and sexiness.

"I used to dress showgirls in Vegas" he informed her. So that was why he was so good at it.

~*~*~*~*~* Vestie's Club

The three walked up to the entrance. The bouncers stopped them.

"Weren't you two here before?" they asked Goren and Eames.

"Don't you think you'd know?" she put on a Marilyn Monroe voice and ran her hands over her hips. The guards couldn't resist her and let them in. She could still make men melt.

"Ok. Alex, you go up on stage-"

"What? Me dance? There? I don't think so. I'll just wait backstage," she interrupted. Joe put his hands on her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes.

"These guys are tough with their dancers. They never let anyone they don't know behind stage, not even stand-ins. The dancers are too precious to them. They make the money roll in. If there was another way I'd tell you, but there isn't. Just go up there, talk to them then after if you think she is guilty, cuff her in the pit." Joe said.

"The pit?" she asked. Joe smiled and lightly pushed her towards the stage.

"Bouncers and performing dancers only. The part they go to before and after a dance. Now go!" Eames nodded and headed towards the stage. There were 3 poles and one empty in the middle.

"Which bar are you from sweet cakes?" the stage manager asked, stopping her.

"Yankee Doodle's. I'm a stand in," she told him, voice jittering. He nodded.

"First time?" he asked.

"At this bar it is," Eames answered, trying to be careful not to blow it.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. Middle pole is yours. The other two are back up dancers. Tell the DJ your song and get up there and do your stuff," he said encouragingly.

She told the DJ top play Lady Marmalade. She got up there and the lights dimmed. The first few front rows of tables went silent. The stage lights went blue as the music started. The spotlight landed on Eames as she slowly started to dance. She had no idea what to do, so she just remembered the movie Striptease. The other two came into spotlights and started twirling around the poles, and she felt a bit better. Eames started off further up the stage, then worked her way to the poles. She did a few twirls and stuff from Madonna music clips. She felt embarrassed, but only because her partner was watching. She wouldn't do it unless it was for her job.

~*~*~*~*~*

Goren saw Eames and his heart started racing. Was that really Alex? She really could dance. We're here on a job he thought. Joe saw him watching and turned his head around.

"You are supposed to be a gay guy. We don't go googly over women pole dancers. Actually the one on the left was a man, but that's not the point." Goren nodded and went back to his beer. He twirled it around on the coaster, imitating Eames' movements. "Oh - my - god. You like her don't you. You totally have a thing for her!" Joe said, surprised. Goren looked at him and grinned.

"Yeah. Actually I do. I dunno. Maybe it is just because she is up there in a corset and high heels being all sexy. No. There is just something about her normal self. Forget it. She's my partner," Goren shrugged it off and finished his beer.

"Well I know if I was straight I'd want her," Joe added.

~*~*~*~*~*

"So which one of you is Tiger?" Eames asked, joining the two others on the poles. This dancing was hard work.

"That's me," the one on the right said. She was really a woman.

"You are a tiger," the one on the left added. He made a tiger noise and laughed.

"Well thankyou Serena."

"So you know Toby McManus?" Eames asked.

"Sure did. Poor guy," Serena said. He had gone the whole way and had a sex change, but Eames had to admit to herself, he did look great as a woman.

"He was killed? I didn't know," said Tiger.

"Well as a matter of fact he was killed with the red pair of Crystal Touch shoes Lee leant you. And she says you owe her a new pair," Eames relayed the message.

"Well I lent them to Robin last week. Haven't seen them since. Toby was going to dump him."

"Sorry to tell you this, but he was with you, Robin and another woman named Donna" Eames said.

"Typical Toby. One minute he's gay, the next he's straight," Serena pitched in.

"That cheat! I have to talk to Robin. Hold On, there he is. Wait until I get off this pole," Tiger said.

"If we catch Robin, we have the murderer. Where is he?" Eames asked. Tiger pointed to a man sitting next to Joe. Eames looked closer at him. She couldn't see very well from the stage.

"Oh, well look at that. Robin has decided to be Ronan tonight," Serena said upon spotting him in the crowd. Eames did a big twirl and landed on her knees, and stopped to catch her breath.

"What? Ronan is Robin? He said Robin was his sister," Eames told the two.

"That's what he tells everyone who he doesn't know. Since he works in a costume shop he gets wigs and stuff for free," Tiger said. Eames got back up and walked to the front of the stage. She had to get Goren's attention. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't yell because the club was too loud.

Serena saw what Eames was trying to do and signalled to the light master to make the stage dark and have a light just on Eames. He flashed red, then had a blue spotlight on her, and added a smoke machine for effect. This certainly got everyone's attention, even Goren. She made eye contact with him and strategically motioned to look behind Joe, but disguised it as a dance move. Goren looked and saw Ronan. He looked at Eames confused and shrugged. She pulled Serena into the spotlight and they danced. Eames motioned towards Serena, then back at Ronan. Goren still didn't get it. She sighed. Maybe Goren could read her lips.

"Ronan is Robin," she mouthed, and then repeated. Goren looked a Ronan, pointing. 'Robin?" He mouthed back Eames nodded back. He still didn't fully understand, but whatever she said he'd go with. He walked to Ronan.

"Well Robin. Having a nice time?" He said. Ronan looked confused.

"I'm Ronan," he corrected.

"Not according to a little fox," he said. He stopped, realising what he'd said, then shook his head and continued. "I know you and Toby were a gay couple and that you are a transvestite. You dressed as a woman and that's whom Donna saw," he said.

"And the fibre from the wig we found on Toby was from your wig," Eames chipped in as she approached them. She was sweaty and out of breath.

"You can't prove that fibre is from one of my wigs. There are thousands of wig stores in New York."

"But you get them for free from Toby's work. And the day he was killed he didn't work with the wigs so he wouldn't have got hairs on him unless he was touching them. AND the wigs in the main store are in bags." Goren felt he had proven his point enough and handcuffed him.

"You are under arrest for the murder of Toby McManus."

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Do you thin in the next chapter something should happen between Goren and Eames? My original intention was to make it a purely professional relationship, but after the club I'm beginning to question that thought.