SWEET MISERY

Disclaimer: the song belongs to Michelle Branch, characters belong to JKR and the plot belongs to me.

A/N: I'm really sorry!! I tried to get this up, but FF.N is stuffed and I can't upload anything (no one can) until June 21st so… yeah…

I'm also really sorry about the whole '15 reviews' thing but I have a few fanfics going at once and I'd like to see who's reading which most so that'll have first priority.

So… this chapter is a little suss but it's pretty important so you can't skip it! Mwahahahahahaha!!! XD

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione went through the next day in a daze. She thought she had imagined that note that night but every day, she went just to make sure it was real.

And she was happy when she confirmed it was real.

There was only one person who could've given her that note. And it was the one person that she wanted it to be.

Draco Malfoy.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco was still mentally kicking himself for being such a fool. The chances of her finding the note were high. He put it in a place where the only person who could've put it there was him.

And then the chances that she would accept the note were so slim. He could see in his head her running to Potter and Weasley, a wide grin on her face.

"Look at this, guys! Malfoy is in love with me!" she would crow and Draco cursed angrily at the thought.

He would prefer if she kept it to herself and burned it.

At the same time breaking his heart.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Argh!" Hermione cried when her books fell out of her bag for the third time that day. She hated her timetable, even though she put on a mask that she was totally happy. She pretended she was happy to spite Ron.

"Need some help?"

Draco Malfoy stood behind her, his eyes showing a little fear and reserve. She figured that he was just embarrassed about the note. To prove that she was fine with it, she grinned and whispered, "Thanks."

She watched his body as it visibly relaxed. He bent down and helped her pick up all her books and placed them carefully back into her bag.

She thanked him again and watched as his body tensed up.

"Uh… you didn't… happen to… to find a note in your bag, did you?" he asked nervously.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'Crap! she found it… and she didn't like it…' he thought angrily, watching her face as she cast her eyes downwards.

"Yeah… I did actually." She whispered, still not meeting his eyes.

"Uh… well… you didn't, erm… you know…" he stuttered. How could she make him feel like this?

"Know who it was from?" she suggested.

"Well…" he fumbled with his collar and she found it cute how he didn't meet her eyes. "Yeah…"

"Actually… I did." She nodded and watched his reaction slowly.

Never before had she seen Draco Malfoy so damn nervous.

She was glad that she could do this to him.

"Oh." He said simply. "Well… who was it?"

She laughed but stopped quickly as she watched him blink painfully.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

I was lost
And you were found
You seemed to stand on solid ground

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'Ah, dear… she knows, she knows! Maybe… if I pretend I DIDN'T send it… then it'll all be fine… yeah… no, that won't do… the only person who could've possibly put it in her bag at that time was ME. Damn it… why did I have to be so freaking stupid?'

While Draco was going through this debate in his mind, Hermione stood there, waiting anxiously for his answer.

'Maybe he didn't send it… and he's trying to be nice and let me down easily… but the only person who could've sent it was him… maybe Ron's trying to pull a prank on me! What a jerk…'

To anyone who was watching this couple from afar, it would appear that they were simply standing in front of one another, lost in their own thoughts. But in all honesty, things couldn't get more complex.

Finally, Draco broke the silence, pulling Hermione out of her reverie.

"Yeah, I sent it. Well, gave it… I mean…"

She stepped closer to him and shushed him when she placed one of her fingers softly to his lips.

They were suddenly interrupted when Ron and Harry barged around the corner.

"Hey, Herm!" Harry greeted cheerfully. Normally, Hermione would be extremely happy since Harry had been under a dark cloud since the Triwizard Tournament the year before. But right now, all she could think about was Draco and the note.

Then she realised her finger was still pressed against his lips and quickly pulled it away, shooting Draco a dirty yet apologetic look.

"Herm…" Ron began and she knew what was coming so she quickly said, "Tonight, Transfiguration room." And stalked away.

Draco stood mesmerised and Harry and Ron stood frozen in shock before quickly regaining their senses and following her towards their classroom, leaving Draco standing alone.

A grin slowly crept up on his face and he quickly turned to leave.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione walked quickly away from the scene of the 'crime' and when Harry and Ron finally caught up to her and looked set to let a few questions loose, she decided to avoid the subject by making a statement.

"I was just telling him about the Potions assignment and that's all, OK? No more questions."

"But…" Ron was cut off by an angry glare from Hermione and a warning one from Harry. "Fine." he muttered.

A while later, as they were settling into the dungeons for another Potions lesson, Hermione quickly swept her eyes across the room until they finally lay on Draco.

They quickly smiled at each other but Hermione was pulled away by a panicking Ron who had not completed his homework and Draco by an adoring Pansy.

Snape entered then, booming at them that he was going to check everyone's homework had been completed, much to Ron's dismay, and that after that, they were to work on their projects, much to Hermione and Draco's delight.

Soon, they were both seated at a desk, working quietly, barely talking to one another. Snape came to check on them a few times but they hardly noticed him.

They seemed to be lost in their thoughts.

While Hermione was thinking, 'How can he do this to me?', Draco was thinking, 'Why does she make me feel this way?'

I was weak
And you were strong
And me and my guitar, we strummed along, oh

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Sorry, I'm late!" Hermione rushed in. She was too busy arguing with Ron, she completely forgot she had a meeting with Draco until Harry gently interrupted their arguing to remind her.

"S'okay." She mumbled, barely looking up. He wasn't angry at her, he was simply absorbed in the Polyjuice Potion. He found it so amazing to pretend to be someone else.

"Well, I found out about some interesting side effects." She announced as she sat down.

"Terrific!" he exclaimed.

They spoke about the assignment for a while but soon lapsed into silence. Draco finally spoke up.

"So… erm… about the… the letter…" she started and Hermione looked up in shock. She didn't think he'd want to bring it up, considering how uncomfortable he was with it.

"What about it?" she asked curiously.

"Just… does it… mean anything to you?"

She paused before she replied slowly. "I… I think it means you feel about me how I feel about you."

He stared at her in disbelief. His hands immediately went to his ears and he began to rub them vigorously which made Hermione giggle.

"Come again, please." His eyes begged her to say what he wanted her to.

"What we can have… we both know, it's so forbidden, but it's so right… and uncontrollable." She looked up to see him grinning. He finished her thought.

"It could make us so happy… and yet, so miserable." He finished and they both smiled at each other.

They didn't say another word to each other the rest of the night.

They didn't need to.

They knew what each was thinking.

Sweet misery you cause me
That's what you called me
Sweet misery you cause me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco went back to the Slytherin common room as if on Cloud Nine. He could never have thought that Hermione Granger would fall for him. He who had treated her badly basically from day one.

He was glad that he wrote that note now. If not, they probably would never have confessed their feelings for one another.

There was now only a few things he had to worry about.

Reactions from his friends and hers.

Her actual feelings.

And the one thing he dreaded most in the world.

His father.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione did not go back to the Gryffindor Tower, however. She could not face Harry and Ron. If she ever told them anything about her feelings now, they would personally never speak to her again.

And she did not want that.

She meandered along the corridors, turning around when she saw a teacher or Filch until she ended up at the Astronomy Tower.

She stared down at the grounds. They were a lush green, the lake rippling gently as the squid danced in the water.

But Hermione did not register any of this.

She physically saw but mentally did not take in. (A/N: Just so you get the gist, like, she heard but didn't listen. Yah?)

Al she could see was Draco Malfoy face floating around and comments from those who would disapprove of their 'romance'.

But she could no longer care anymore. She knew that soon he would become her rock, the one she could depend on, the one that she could open up to.

And she knew that she desperately needed that in her life.

She did not go back to the Tower that night.

I was blind
But, oh, how you could see
You saw the beauty in everything, everything and me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione moaned when she woke up the next morning. Her neck was cramped up painfully and she winced in pain. She got up slowly, taking a while to recognise her surroundings and then shuffling back towards the Tower.

When she stepped out of her dormitory, she looked fine. At least fine enough so that no one would question her about where she had been and what she had been doing that night.

She stumbled down the stairs, glad it was a weekend so that she could catch up some sleep. She flopped onto the couch that the trio usually hung around and rested her head onto the armrest.

"Hey, Herm." She heard from behind and turned around to see Harry settling himself down next to her.

"Hey, Harry." She murmured and yawned loudly. "Man, I'm so sleepy."

Harry looked at her worriedly. "Are you sick? Do you want me to go get you some breakfast?"

She smiled shortly before yawning again. "Thanks for your concern. Could you get me some toast? I'm so dead…"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey, Potter!"

Harry spun around, facing Draco. "Yeah? What, Malfoy?" he asked coldly.

"Just… can you ask Herm… I mean, Granger if she can meet again at the Transfiguration room tonight? For our project?"

"Yeah, sure. But she's really tired, so don't be surprised if she can't make it." Harry explained.

"OK, thanks, Potter." Draco turned and left.

Harry stared at his back for a few seconds, wondering why he almost called her Hermione but could not come up with another explanation except that during their working on the project, they had become friends.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione stepped into the classroom that night having recovered a little sleep during the day. But she knew that Draco did not want to discuss the project so she didn't bring any of her books with her.

Draco simply looked up as she entered but didn't even mutter a 'hello' and Hermione felt a little hurt.

"Aren't you even going to say 'hello'?" she asked, disappointed.

He glanced at her again and she felt her heart do a little somersault, as well as her stomach.

Something wasn't right.

Her fears were confirmed when he quietly whispered, "I can't be with you."

'No… no… no…' she thought in her head, the same word running around and around.

"No…" she whispered aloud. He stood up and walked towards her slowly, arms outstretched.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, right you are!" she shouted angrily. "If you were, you wouldn't have given me that letter! If you were, you wouldn't have led me on!" then she began to whisper. "If you were, you wouldn't be doing this right now."

"You don't understand!" he argued. She looked up, her eyes piercing into his.

"Try me!"

"My… my father… he wouldn't understand…" she muttered and began pacing, knowing she was watching every move he took. He looked towards her. "He doesn't even love my mother. He doesn't know what love is…"

"Do you?" she interrupted and he raised his eyebrows.

"What?" she stood up and walked towards him.

"Do you know what love is?" she whispered in his ear.

He looked towards the ground. "No…" he jerked his head up suddenly, his eyes burning into hers. "But I know you can show me. I know I can love you."

She grinned shyly. "I know I can love you, too."

I would cry
And you would smile
You'd stay with me a little while

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They sat in the classroom talking into the late hours. Draco found her background so interesting. He had never been allowed to associate himself with Muggles or Muggle-borns before and when he heard about how they lived, what they did, he was mesmerised, amazed.

Hermione only knew a little bit about the wizarding world and how the people dealt with issues. Draco explained all of it to her, but there was one thing she knew he wasn't telling her about.

His family.

They grew up in the same kind of family – mum, dad, child. She had told him about how her parents were protective of her and a few anecdotes of her childhood but not once had he mentioned anything about his.

"Draco…" she started and he nodded for her to continue. "How come you never tell me anything about your childhood?"

"I have, too." He countered defensively. "I told you about my broomstick ride and my-"

"Yeah, but not about your family." She explained more. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted saying them. He cast his grey eyes down and slumped his shoulders.

"I… I don't want to…" he defended feebly. Hermione reached out and took him by the shoulder.

"You can trust me."

"I know…" he muttered. "It's just… it's not a very pleasant topic. It's really…" he trailed off. Then he suddenly got up. "I'm gonna go now." He stated and turned to leave.

"No, please. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to." Hermione stood up quickly and grabbed his shoulder again. He shook her hand off.

"I'm tired." He finished lamely and walked out of the classroom.

Hermione kicked the skirting board and cursed softly.

The one time that she got to know Draco Malfoy really well and she had blown it.

Badly.

Sweet misery you cause me
That's what you called me
Sweet misery you cause me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione sat in front of the fire, watching as the flames slicked across her eyes. She knew she had to apologise the next time she saw him alone. She knew that there was a reason that he wasn't telling her anything. That was common logic. And then, of course, he had always dropped hints.

He never seemed very attached to his father and when he told her that he never loved his mother, that must've been a hint to let the subject lie.

But, no. She had to be a stupid ditz and bring up the topic, even try to force him to talk.

She stayed in the common room and fell asleep on the couch, dreaming about life with and without Draco Malfoy by her side.

And in my heart I see, oh
What you're doing to me
And in my heart I see, oh
Just how you wanted it to be

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco stomped towards the Slytherin common room after leaving Hermione behind in the classroom.

Who did she think she was, asking about something that was obviously painful for him to talk about?

Still, he felt minutely guilty about his attitude toward it. She didn't know what life was like at the Malfoy Manor, otherwise she, most definitely, would not have asked.

And if she did… well, she would be out of his life in a flash.

When he entered the common room, he was glad to see that he was so late coming back that the room was empty.

He ran to his dorm, grabbed a book and settled by the fire downstairs.

He could not concentrate however. His thoughts were focused on Hermione.

He now knew that there was something special about her.

Something that he couldn't let go.

He fell asleep with a smile.

Sweet misery you cause me
That's what you called me
Sweet misery you cause me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione rushed to the Great Hall the next day, hoping with every fibre of her being that she had not yet missed Draco.

She stood outside the Hall for around half an hour before she finally gave up. The flood of people had come and gone. No one would come to breakfast this late.

Except Draco Malfoy.

She ran up to him, scaring him so much that he shouted in surprise.

"AH!"

"Oh, my God!" she shouted. "I'm so sorry!" she quickly looked around, relieved that there was no one watching. She turned back to Draco who was leaning against a wall, trying to catch his breath.

"S'okay." he panted.

"Look, I just wanted to apologise about last night. I had no right, whatsoever, to pry into your family life. If you don't want to tell me, I'm not going to force you to." She said very quickly.

He smiled lightly. "Thanks. Glad to hear it. Just… I might tell you one day. Just not yet." They both paused and the silence was thick.

"You had breakfast yet?" he blurted out.

"Nope, just been waiting for you to show up." She answered cheerily.

"Great! Not that we can sit together, but it'd be nice to see you there."

He offered her his arm, which she took gratefully but they separated before they entered the Hall, both much happier than they had been before.

And in my heart I see, oh
What you're doing to me
And in my heart I see, oh
Just how you wanted it to be

Sweet misery

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once again, they were working on their project, but now they were almost done. They had worked well together, finishing it almost a month before the due date.

Draco leaned back against his chair. "Finished!" she threw his hands up in triumph, making Hermione laugh.

"Thank God for that!" she added.

"Now, we can relax, yes, Miss. Granger?"

She grinned. "Sure thing!"

The rest of the night they spent catching up again.

And it seemed they had their whole lives to do it.

Hermione was glad for that. She knew now that she had found her rock in life.

I was weak
And you were strong
And me and my guitar, we strummed along

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Whoa! Long chapter! Do you have any idea how long it took me to write this? I'm sorry if it's a little repetitive but I just wanted to get it out of the way. PLEASE R/R! I'll upload as soon as I write another chappie!