Okay, I put in a song. I wasn't going to do that, but it seemed too much written just for Elizabeth, so I had to. It's interspersed throughout the story. So, if you've used this song in a story in regards to Elizabeth or if you just don't think the song works, let me know I can take it out very easily. I'm open to suggestions. Thanks. This chapter is a little sappy. I'm not sure if I like it, but this is my first fan fic, so I don't really know what's good. I also don't think the medical technique here is right either, but it was funnier that way, so that's what I did.

Also, thanks 'Girl of the Stage' for your reviews. They just made my day. Also another BIG THANK YOU to everyone reviewing. Sometimes when I get discouraged and don't want to write, I just go back and reread the old reviews and that spurs me on.

PG-13 - It's probably just PG, but I wanted to be safe.

Chapter 19 - Miss Independent

Miss Independent

Miss Self-Sufficient

Miss keep your distance

Miss unafraid

Miss out of my way

Miss don't let a man interfere, no

Miss on her own

Miss almost grown

Miss never let a man help her off her throne

So, by keeping her heart protected

She'd never ever fell rejected

Little miss apprehensive

Said ooh, she fell in love

--------------------------

"How are you feeling, Mr. Caldwell?"

"Isn't the ceiling beautiful?" he answered gleefully.

"I'd say he's ready," said Elizabeth. She had just finished scrubbing and entered the OR to remove Todd Caldwell's garden sheers and repair the damage. It hadn't even been an hour since her discussion/bargain with Kerry and she was a little edgy. The more she thought about it, though, the more she did not regret her actions. She didn't care. The way she saw it, she was doing Kerry a favor...and Robert a favor, too, for that matter.

Robert. She had him to think about, too, now. All week she had tried not to think about him, but all she had done was think about him. It had put her in a bad mood and made her grouchy to everybody. She went over in her mind the things she had said to Kerry. Was she, Elizabeth, just being prideful and selfish in caring about what others would think? She realized now that deep down, she really wanted to be with Robert. She just didn't want to admit it and she still wasn't sure if she should.

"Okay, I'll need plenty of suction and gauze for this one," stated Elizabeth and she began the prep work necessary before actually removing the foreign object. They all worked very quietly for quite a few minutes. Elizabeth's mind was preoccupied elsewhere. Even Mr. Caldwell was resting peacefully.

Shirley saw Elizabeth's mind was on other things and she was getting tired of it. "You know it's getting pretty old," she piped up suddenly within the silence. The abrupt interruption of the quiet moment caused Elizabeth to jerk up.

"What?" asked Elizabeth.

"Personally, I think you should just give up and give in."

Elizabeth gave Shirley a strange, apprehensive look. "I don't know what you're talking about," she lied.

"I think you do." Shirley eyed her across the table with a small smirk. "I'm not blind."

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about," said Mr. Caldwell airily. He was pretty out of it, so he was talking kind of slow and without much inflection of voice.

"Yeah, me neither," said Dr. Babcock, the anesthesiologist.

Elizabeth glanced at both men before focusing back on the injury. "It's nothing really," she said, "I just...um..." She was trying to think up something fast. She stared at Shirley while answering, "...bought a puppy for Ella."

"Ohhhhhhhh," drawled Mr. Caldwell. "Who...who's Ella?"

"My daughter," replied Elizabeth. "It seems Shirley thinks I bought the puppy too old...and...that it's too late to teach him to go outside...so...I should just give in and set it up a place to go inside." Whew...yeah...that worked. Dr. Babcock looked skeptic. Shirley and Elizabeth gave each other little knowing glances while smirking slightly.

"Oh...well...how old's your daughter?" asked Mr. Caldwell lazily.

"She's two," answered Elizabeth.

"Ah, that's a nice age...two...I remember when I was two."

"Do you now?" Elizabeth kept glancing at Shirley now and then as they worked.

"Yeah...I had a dog...but he died. His name was Mr. Skippy."

"Nice name for a dog," answered Elizabeth humoring him.

"Yeah...so, what's your dog's daughter's...er...daughter's dog's name?"

"Uh..." she looked at Shirley again, "...Pipsqueak."

Shirley let out a small snort, then cleared her throat, trying not to laugh. Both ladies were smiling mischievously.

"Oh...odd name for a dog," said Mr. Caldwell.

"Yes, it is," said Elizabeth in reply.

"What kind of dog is he?"

"Well, um, he's a mix actually. Part Chihuahua, part Pit-Bull."

Dr. Babcock looked at both Elizabeth and Shirley questioningly.

"Oh," said Mr. Caldwell, "that's kinda weird."

"Indeed," said Elizabeth looking at Shirley. They kept working without any discussion for a couple of minutes after that until Shirley decided to continue the discussion.

"Yeah, it's a shame really," said Shirley. "Seems Ella won't play with the dog."

Elizabeth looked up, her eyes wide, and she forced a laugh that indicated she'd go along with Shirley on this one. "Huh, well," she began, "Ella doesn't have to play with the dog if she doesn't want to."

"True," said Shirley, "of course, it's too bad. The dog seems to really love her and she'll be missing out on a lot of fun with a very devoted dog."

"Uh-huh. Well..." Elizabeth started to pull at the sheers inside Mr. Caldwell. She was having trouble getting them out.

"Do you need some help?" asked Dr. Babcock.

"No!" Elizabeth barked defensively. "I've got it, thank you." She kept yanking aggressively while she said, "Well, maybe she's afraid the dog will bite her." Just then she jerked the sheers out after much effort and threw them into a basin.

"Perhaps." said Shirley. "But, we both know he wouldn't. I mean he's really just a puppy, after all."

Elizabeth sighed with a big grin. "Right," she said cynically. "But what will all her little friends say once they find out she has a Pit-Bull for a pet?"

"Well, once she starts to...uh...enjoy the dog, I doubt she'll really care."

Elizabeth couldn't help but turn red and start to laugh. Shirley was helping her to see she was taking all of this just a little too seriously. "Enjoy the dog?"

"Um-hmm," said Shirley. She was smiling broadly. Mr. Caldwell looked up questioningly to Dr. Babcock, who just shrugged, shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Trust me," continued Shirley, "I've been a...happy dog owner for almost 24 years, but never once has my dog looked at me the way Ella's dog looks at her."

At that, Elizabeth slowly stopped laughing, but kept a wry grin on her face. She was still a little red. "Well, I guess I'll just have to have a little chat with Ella."

"Good," finished Shirley.

---------------

Misguided heart

Miss play it smart

Miss if you want to use that line you better not start, no

But she miscalculated

She didn't want to end up jaded

And this miss decided not to miss out on true love

So, by changing her misconceptions

She went in a new direction

And found inside she felt a connection

She fell in love

---------------

That evening Elizabeth sat at the little night table in her room. It was late. Ella had been asleep now for hours, but Elizabeth was still up. She just stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was pulled back and her face was freshly washed. She thought she looked old and fat. She sighed deeply and her eyes became drawn to the little box sitting on the corner of the table. She hesitantly picked up the box and opened it. There staring back at her again was the breath-taking diamond necklace Robert had given her. A fresh wave of guilt rose up in her again. She spotted the little note again that read:

'I know this doesn't compare to your beauty, but I thought you could make it look good. Robert.'

Hmm. That was written four years ago. She looked at herself in the mirror again. She wasn't the same person now that she had been then. A lot had happened since then. She was certain she didn't look the same. Definitely not as beautiful.

She carefully took the necklace from its box, undid the clasp and put it on. She thought it looked out of place on her. All she was wearing was a small, white, cotton shirt with spaghetti straps, so the necklace rested nicely right below the nape of her neck. She touched the diamonds gently with her fingers as she stared at herself in the mirror for a few moments. He did still give it to her. He surely had remembered what the note said.

"All right. That's it," she stated abruptly to herself out loud, as she pounded her hands purposefully on the table in front of her. She thought for a moment while looking at herself in the mirror. Then she got an idea.

She stood up and went down to the living room. There was a small desk in the living room that she sat down at. She carefully opened a drawer and pulled out some paper. She opened a different drawer to pull out a pen. She picked up one pen, but put it back and then picked a different pen. She was about to change her mind again, but just took a deep breath and shut the drawer at once. She had never done anything like this before, but she began to write.

'Dear Robert,'

For a while, that's as far as she got. It looked odd. Maybe she should just go over to his house. No. This would be easier for her to formulate her thoughts.

'First of all, I'd like to preface by saying I don't like writing letters. The last letter I wrote wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience I've encountered. However, I felt under the circumstances, it would be appropriate.'

She stopped and read the few sentences she had put down on the paper in front of her. She immediately crumpled it up and threw it on the floor, before grabbing another piece of paper.

'Dear Robert,

Okay, Robert, look. I don't like writing letters. I'd much prefer speaking to you face to face. But I didn't think I could get this out while looking at you, because I know you must be absolutely furious with me and you have every right to be. I feel I owe you an explanation.'

She stopped again and read what she wrote, then continued.

'I was scared. I ran away from you last week, because I was scared of what other people would think. I was scared of what people at work would say, what my parents would say and even what Mark would have thought about my being with you. But this was foolish. I should never have let other people run my life for me. I've been doing that most of my life, really.'

She stopped again. "Good Lord," she said out loud to the air. "Too dramatic." She crossed out the last two sentences she had written.

'...But this was foolish. How on earth could I possibly know what Mark would think? He never knew you as well as I did. I apologize, Robert, for my behavior. I got scared, so I ran from you. But, I realize now that was wrong. You didn't deserve that. Contrary to popular opinion, you're a good man.'

Elizabeth crinkled her forehead. Did she really think that?

'Deep down.'

She crossed out 'deep down.'

'Yes, I truly believe that. You just don't want anybody to know it. But, you can't fool me. I've known you too long. You're sweet.'

"No." She crossed out 'You're sweet.'

'You can actually be very pleasant to be with sometimes, Robert, when you want to be...at least to me. And I see that now. I only wish I haven't seen it too late. I enjoyed our dinner together. Very much. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," she said.

'I can't believe I'm doing this. This is very unlike me. You're probably thinking this all very sappy right now, because, frankly I'm thinking the same thing. But, I had to do something. I can't stop thinking about you. I think about you at work, at home and even when I'm in bed. This past week I've even wanted you next to me. Sometimes, I feel you're the only friend I have. You're the only person who will be honest with me and who I can solely trust, anymore. So why the hell am I caring about what anyone else thinks? All I really care about is you.

"Too much." She crossed out the last sentence she wrote, but then shook her head.

'I care about you and I want to be with you, Robert.'

She stopped again for a while to think about how to finish.

'So, with that said, I will be waiting for you tonight at the square on 31st and Hudson. There is big fountain in the middle of the square and it is kept lit at night. I've taken Ella there many times. It's very nice. I will be there at 8 o'clock...alone. And I will stay until 9 o'clock. If you don't show up or contact me, I understand. I'm a lot of trouble. As you've probably noticed. But, I very much hope and desire that you will come.'

She stopped and thought about how she should sign it. Sincerely? No. Love? No. Tenderly? Ew, no. She wrote:

'Very affectionately yours,

Elizabeth

P.S. I'm wearing the necklace. I hope that is all right.'

She looked down at the paper in front of her. It looked a mess with things marked out all through it. It was also sappy and cliché. She wasn't a writer. Well, she didn't have to give it to him. She could forget the whole thing and throw it away...but she didn't. Instead she folded it up just the way it was and put it in an envelope she labeled 'Robert.'

She looked at the clock on the other side of the room. It read 5:45 am. My goodness. How time flies when you're writing fluff. She went back upstairs to wake Ella. She grabbed the little girl from her bed and held her in her arms.

"Nooooooo," whined the little girl as she rubbed her eyes.

"Come on, sweetie. Mommy needs to run an errand."

Ella stretched and reached for a stuffed toy on her bed. "Winkie," she said sleepily.

"Okay, we'll grab Winkie." Winkie was a stuffed mouse that Ella slept with and kept with her everywhere. It's a wonder it hadn't gotten lost by now. Elizabeth grabbed it from the bed and handed it to Ella. Ella seemed fairly content after that. She got Ella dressed and cleaned up before heading toward the car.

----------------

Elizabeth pulled over on the street next to Robert's house. It was still very early in the morning; not quite 7 o'clock on a Saturday. Everything was pretty quiet. She had never actually been to Robert's house, but she knew where he lived. He had given her his address a long time ago and she still had it stuffed in an old address book...unless he had moved. Nonsense. She would have known if he had moved, wouldn't she? There were no cars out front. It would have been a comfort if his jag had been out there, but he probably kept it in the garage. Oh well. What the hell? Too late now. Just do it.

Ella was playing happily, talking to her stuffed mouse and having a very intellectual conversation with it by the sound of things. "You wait her, sweetie," she said to Ella.

Ella stopped playing and just looked at her. "Okay, mommy." Ella was strapped in to her car seat. It wasn't as if she could get away. Elizabeth looked at her and laughed a little nervously before leaving the car.

She creeped up slowly and cautiously to Robert's front door. The last thing in the world she wanted was for him to open it. She slunk down to the ground and carefully slipped the letter under his door. At that same instant she wondered why she didn't just put it in his mailbox. That would have been so much easier. Oh well. Too late now. She got up and quickly tiptoed away and got back in her car.

"Whew. Mission accomplished." She looked back at Ella. "Right?"

"Right," said Ella. Elizabeth smiled and drove away.

---------------

When Miss Independence walked away

No time for love that came her way

She looked in the mirror and thought today

What happened to miss no longer afraid?

It took some time for her to see

How beautiful love could truly be

No more talk of why can't that be me

I'm so glad I finally feel...

---------------

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

"SHUT UP!"

Beep! Beep! Beep! Be-

Robert pounded on his alarm clock so hard it fell to the floor. He kept it set for 7:30 every morning even though he didn't have a job to go to anymore. He knew if he didn't keep it set, he'd stay up all night and sleep all day, which was a bad habit to form.

He sat up and looked horrible. He looked like he hadn't shaved or showered in days. The room was a pit. Before even getting out of bed, he took off the shirt he was wearing and threw it on the floor. He stretched, scratched his back, scratched his chest and walked over to his closet. He turned the light on, squinted at the brightness of it and cursed. His closet was full of empty hangers. He went through the few shirts he still had hanging in there and didn't get any of them. He then dug through different piles of clothes scattered here and there on the floor, before picking up a shirt. He smelled it and shrugged before putting it on.

He walked into the bathroom without shutting the door and did as nature called. The bathroom was also a mess, with towels and clothes all over the floor. He picked up his toothbrush and ran it under the faucet. He picked up the toothpaste, but he couldn't get any out of the tube. It was empty. He tossed the tube and toothbrush in the sink and went downstairs.

He walked right past his front door as he headed toward the kitchen. There was an envelope lying on the floor, but, of course, he didn't notice. He was still half asleep. He stubbed his toe on the couch.

"God-!"

As he got to the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator door; the contents of which held some left over chicken from KFC, a ketchup bottle almost empty, grape jelly, milk three days expired, pickles and beer. He took out the milk, smelled it and made a face. He grabbed a bowl and spoon from the sink, which was full of dirty dishes. He washed just that bowl and that spoon. He grabbed some Grape-Nuts and ate up, using the milk, anyway.

After a couple of bites, he got bored. He needed something to read while he ate. He got up from the table and went to the front door. He opened it and went outside for the morning paper, then went back inside. He opened the paper and started looking at the front page before he even got back inside. The small envelope in front of his door was still there...but he still didn't notice.

He ate his breakfast and then turned on the TV in the living room. He pushed away a few empty beer cans on the coffee table to give him some room for his feet. He sat on the couch with the remote and put his bare feet on the coffee table. He was only wearing a T-shirt with boxer shorts. He flipped through a couple of preachers, a few infomercials and a talk show, before settling on a basketball game on the FOX Sports channel. He picked his nose and sniffled, then made this horrible hacking noise in the back of his throat.

Robert hadn't done much in looking for a job these past few days. In fact, he hadn't done much of anything these past few days. He was pretty depressed. It wasn't just Elizabeth that had depressed him; it was losing his job; and so shortly after also losing his arm. It was just too much to handle. It wasn't like him to be sloppy at all. The past few days hadn't consisted of much more than eating, sleeping and watching TV. Sure, he'd kept his alarm set for 7:30 am, but he had a tendency lately to take naps; long four hour naps sometimes. It was kind of disgusting.

---------------

Elizabeth looked at her watch. It read 8:05 pm. She was sitting silently on a bench by the big fountain, biting her nails. She had been there since about 7:30. She actually thought he might come early...she guessed not. Earlier that day she had found someone to watch Ella for her this evening. She had even told the sitter what she was doing and the sitter suggested to keep Ella until the next day. Elizabeth had been taken aback by the offer. She hadn't even thought... Elizabeth had agreed to her offer.

8:09. A clap of thunder was heard in the distance. She noticed a couple walking out of a restaurant nearby. They had their arms around each other and were laughing. They kissed and walked away. Elizabeth just stared at them for a while.

8:12. She got up and walked around the fountain. She stopped and just looked at it for a bit. She took out a small coin from her purse, held it tight and closed her eyes. She felt ridiculous. She threw it in quickly before anyone would see.

8:16. She sighed. If he hadn't come by now, he probably wouldn't. She strolled the rest of the way around the fountain until she reached the bench. There was another loud thunderclap. She sat down again with her hands to her sides pushing down slightly upon the bench. She was looking down at her feet swinging them a little.

Just then, next to her feet, she spotted a nice pair of black dress shoes connected to a nice pair of dark blue slacks.

"This seat taken?" he asked.

She closed her eyes briefly, before opening them and looking up at him. She shook her head.

He sat down beside her. He was wearing slacks and a clean, pressed buttoned shirt. He was clean-shaven and smelled slightly of cologne. She didn't budge or look at him. "You're late," she said.

"Yeah...I had a lot to do today."

She looked at him and smiled. "Right," she said sarcastically. When she caught his eyes, she saw he was staring at her very intensely. Her smile disappeared and she turned away. "I...uh...you were beginning to scare me. I wasn't sure if you were going to-"

He stopped her lips suddenly with a kiss. It was intense immediately. He stopped for only a millisecond to find her hand and hold it in his on his lap; then kissed her again. Elizabeth was enjoying this kiss even more than the last one. The first one had caught her off guard and she was surprised by her actions of kissing him back. But this time, she wanted him. She found herself kissing him even more fervently than he was kissing her.

---------------

What is this feelin' takin' over?

Thinkin' no one could open my door

Surprise...It's time

To feel what's real

What happened to Miss Independent?

No more the need to be defensive

Goodbye, old you

When love is true

---------------

They stopped together to catch their breaths. But, they both stayed very close and kept their eyes closed, oblivious to the world around them. "Robert...I'm sorry, I-"

"Shhhh," he interrupted. He let go of her hand and placed his fingers upon her lips. She instinctively kissed those fingers tenderly. "Don't say anything," he continued. He was sitting on her left, so he was able to lift up his right arm and put it around her shoulder to hold her closer to him. "I need you."

"I need you, too," she replied.

He thought his heart would explode out of his chest. He kissed her again. Hard this time. No matter how close she was to him, he wanted her closer.

There was another thunderclap and it suddenly began to rain very hard. They were getting soaked instantly. Elizabeth fluttered her eyes and broke away from the kiss. "It's raining," she yelled over the sound of the pouring rain, just in case he hadn't noticed. He just looked at her soaking wet. His eyes were blinking frequently over the rain, as well. He smiled.

"Is it?"

She laughed a little as he began kissing her again. It wasn't long before she was laughing more and broke away from him, again.

"Robert?!" she yelled, laughing. They were both just smiling in the rain.

"Alright," he finally consented. He grabbed her hand and led her underneath a canopy of an entrance to a restaurant. This restaurant didn't get much business, so there was no one going in or coming out. He watched her as she tried to shake off some of the water in her clothes and hair. She stopped and looked back at him.

"What?" she asked.

He just shook his head. "You're beautiful."

She smiled, went over closer to him and hugged him tight, getting a good whiff of his cologne. He smelled good. He wrapped his arm around her waist and sunk his face into her hair; savoring her touch. They let go and looked at each other. Robert spotted a bench by the restaurant door.

"You wanna sit down? Wait for it to clear up?" he asked.

"Okay."

They sat down without touching each other. Things suddenly became a little awkward. Elizabeth stared at her feet again. Robert looked out at the rain in front of them. Neither of them were sure what to say now.

"You think it'll rain long?" she asked without looking at him.

"I don't know."

"Look, Robert, I'm not very good at this."

"I know. Me neither."

"I know."

They both stared at the rain in silence for what seemed like forever, but was really only about two minutes.

"So..." Robert began. "When do you need to pick up Ella?"

Elizabeth's breath stopped. She wouldn't look at him. "Um...I don't."

"What?"

"Uh, the sitter agreed to keep her until tomorrow."

They both stopped breathing now. Finally Robert gasped in some air. "Oh," he said. "Well then...I guess we have all night." She looked at him blankly. "To...uh...wait for the rain, I mean."

She slowly smiled at him and began to turn red and snigger a little. She grinned at him flirtatiously. "Come here," he said. He wrapped his arm around her and she leaned her head against his chest. He planted a kiss upon her wet hair and then leaned his head on top of hers. They sat there silently and watched the rain.

---------------

Author note: See, the way I can see it on the show, is that they're sitting there kissing on this bench with this fountain behind them. And the camera is doing that little 360 degree turn thing it likes to do on ER sometimes. And the chorus of the song is playing in the background, which they also do sometimes. Can you see it? I don't know. Maybe it's too corny, even for ER.