Light Glows Anew Chap 5
Duo stared at his sandwich. It seemed to him that this particular sandwich was different from the other sandwiches. Not any less of a sandwich, just different. It was driving him mad and causing him to lose his appetite.
"Duo.you're not going to do anything to the sandwich by staring at it. Eat up." Trowa said.
Duo groaned. "I can't. If I did, I don't think I would be able to live with myself."
Trowa quirked an eyebrow. "Would you feel guilty about Italian?"
"I just don't think I can eat right now."
Trowa placed his hand softly over Duo's. "Duo, you said this morning you were hungry and then you wouldn't touch that omelet. I'm starting to think you have something against my cooking. You have to eat. This will be the third day you've gone without eating. You can't live off of a diet of tea alone. You're not Hee.ro."
Now you've done it Barton. Just remind him that he's lost the only thing he held dear.
"It's okay. It's not like it kills me to hear his name." Duo pushed the plate with the sandwich away. "Trowa, it's like something's gone. Something's not right. There's something I'm missing. Like it's right on the tip of my tongue, I just can't say it. Or its right under my nose, I just can't see it. Or don't want to. Kinda like I'm trying to hold on to something futile." He ran his hands through his bangs and curled his fists in frustration. "I just don't know what it is. Did Heero seem.unusual to you? I mean besides the usual way. "
"If you're asking me if I had any foresight into this, I didn't. Heero was odd. But that's Heero."
"But what about him was odd? That you thought was just.out of character for him? Like.it wouldn't be unexpected of me to go to a party and wind up naked before I left, but it would be out of character of me to sleep around. It wouldn't be out of character for Heero to take a bullet for me, but it would be out of character for him to show any affection in public. Especially around.her."
Trowa hummed thoughtfully. "That's kinda hard Duo. I don't know Heero very well. The only one he's gotten close enough to notice his behavior patterns is you-"
"Trowa please just think! You were around him often enough, you must've noticed something!"
Trowa paused for a moment and closed his eyes. He thought hard about every time he saw Heero together with Duo. Yet anyone who wasn't an out of closet case like Duo would have trouble showing public affection, especially keeping in mind how masculine Heero was.
Masculine.
He was very masculine. Very private. But he was still unsure of himself. He knew the mission, but he never really knew love until Duo. And yet.it didn't seem all quite there. Even at the safe houses. Duo would come bouncing him, throw himself on Heero, and plant a huge kiss on the Perfect Soldier. Heero would timidly slide his arms around Duo and rest his head on his shoulder. It wasn't often that Heero kissed Duo back. In fact, that only happened in near death experiences in which both would come back through the door of the safe house, smothered to each other, barely able to make it back to their room before they got naked.
So they only kissed during sex?
Trowa opened his eyes and looked at an expectant Duo.
"Eh.Duo, can I ask you a question?"
Duo nodded.
Trowa didn't quite know how to phrase it. He took a breath, then stopped. "Ah.did you and Heero ever kiss when you.weren't having sex?"
Duo began to reply and then stopped. He sat back with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Well, I can remember the first time we kissed. When I first admitted that I loved him, but that led to sex too.He would kiss me when I was.wait.no.we had sex then too.wait a minute, we had to have kissed other than during sex!" Duo sounded incredulous.
Trowa was confused. He didn't know why he brought the kissing issue up. He didn't even understand how that would explain Duo's feeling of unknowing.
Think Trowa. Why would Heero never kiss him besides sex? Trouble with affection? If that were the issue then he wouldn't have slept with Duo.slept with Duo.slept with Duo.c'mon think!
"Was he ever on the bottom?"
Duo looked up, confused. "Huh?"
"Eh...during sex. Was he ever on the bottom?"
"No. Never actually. He never gave me the chance and I don't think he was comfortable with it."
"Why do you think that was?" Trowa said, interlocking his fingers and sitting back.
"You're starting to sound like my shrink." Duo moaned.
Trowa smiled meekly. "Sorry."
"I don't really know why he would never be on bottom. You know he has a problem with submission. But I.it's that feeling again. That answer doesn't fit, does it? Jesus Christ what is wrong with me?! It's right there! I know it! Why can't I figure this out?" Duo growled.
"Maybe you don't want to know." Said a voice from behind them.
Duo stared at his sandwich. It seemed to him that this particular sandwich was different from the other sandwiches. Not any less of a sandwich, just different. It was driving him mad and causing him to lose his appetite.
"Duo.you're not going to do anything to the sandwich by staring at it. Eat up." Trowa said.
Duo groaned. "I can't. If I did, I don't think I would be able to live with myself."
Trowa quirked an eyebrow. "Would you feel guilty about Italian?"
"I just don't think I can eat right now."
Trowa placed his hand softly over Duo's. "Duo, you said this morning you were hungry and then you wouldn't touch that omelet. I'm starting to think you have something against my cooking. You have to eat. This will be the third day you've gone without eating. You can't live off of a diet of tea alone. You're not Hee.ro."
Now you've done it Barton. Just remind him that he's lost the only thing he held dear.
"It's okay. It's not like it kills me to hear his name." Duo pushed the plate with the sandwich away. "Trowa, it's like something's gone. Something's not right. There's something I'm missing. Like it's right on the tip of my tongue, I just can't say it. Or its right under my nose, I just can't see it. Or don't want to. Kinda like I'm trying to hold on to something futile." He ran his hands through his bangs and curled his fists in frustration. "I just don't know what it is. Did Heero seem.unusual to you? I mean besides the usual way. "
"If you're asking me if I had any foresight into this, I didn't. Heero was odd. But that's Heero."
"But what about him was odd? That you thought was just.out of character for him? Like.it wouldn't be unexpected of me to go to a party and wind up naked before I left, but it would be out of character of me to sleep around. It wouldn't be out of character for Heero to take a bullet for me, but it would be out of character for him to show any affection in public. Especially around.her."
Trowa hummed thoughtfully. "That's kinda hard Duo. I don't know Heero very well. The only one he's gotten close enough to notice his behavior patterns is you-"
"Trowa please just think! You were around him often enough, you must've noticed something!"
Trowa paused for a moment and closed his eyes. He thought hard about every time he saw Heero together with Duo. Yet anyone who wasn't an out of closet case like Duo would have trouble showing public affection, especially keeping in mind how masculine Heero was.
Masculine.
He was very masculine. Very private. But he was still unsure of himself. He knew the mission, but he never really knew love until Duo. And yet.it didn't seem all quite there. Even at the safe houses. Duo would come bouncing him, throw himself on Heero, and plant a huge kiss on the Perfect Soldier. Heero would timidly slide his arms around Duo and rest his head on his shoulder. It wasn't often that Heero kissed Duo back. In fact, that only happened in near death experiences in which both would come back through the door of the safe house, smothered to each other, barely able to make it back to their room before they got naked.
So they only kissed during sex?
Trowa opened his eyes and looked at an expectant Duo.
"Eh.Duo, can I ask you a question?"
Duo nodded.
Trowa didn't quite know how to phrase it. He took a breath, then stopped. "Ah.did you and Heero ever kiss when you.weren't having sex?"
Duo began to reply and then stopped. He sat back with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Well, I can remember the first time we kissed. When I first admitted that I loved him, but that led to sex too.He would kiss me when I was.wait.no.we had sex then too.wait a minute, we had to have kissed other than during sex!" Duo sounded incredulous.
Trowa was confused. He didn't know why he brought the kissing issue up. He didn't even understand how that would explain Duo's feeling of unknowing.
Think Trowa. Why would Heero never kiss him besides sex? Trouble with affection? If that were the issue then he wouldn't have slept with Duo.slept with Duo.slept with Duo.c'mon think!
"Was he ever on the bottom?"
Duo looked up, confused. "Huh?"
"Eh...during sex. Was he ever on the bottom?"
"No. Never actually. He never gave me the chance and I don't think he was comfortable with it."
"Why do you think that was?" Trowa said, interlocking his fingers and sitting back.
"You're starting to sound like my shrink." Duo moaned.
Trowa smiled meekly. "Sorry."
"I don't really know why he would never be on bottom. You know he has a problem with submission. But I.it's that feeling again. That answer doesn't fit, does it? Jesus Christ what is wrong with me?! It's right there! I know it! Why can't I figure this out?" Duo growled.
"Maybe you don't want to know." Said a voice from behind them.
