Disclaimer: Not mine. Everything belongs, as always, to the God Almighty,
Joss Whedon.
A/N: I know this chapter's a bit late, but school's started up again, and all the teachers seem to think now is the perfect time to give everyone as many tests and assignments as humanly possible. (
To everyone I'm just going to say this: Yes, I know what's going to happen, and no, I'm not going to tell you!
Some reviewers (namely Green) asked if Buffy has one of those international decoder things so she can watch the vids. Well, I can confirm that she recently installed one, on the request of Spike, who was sick of waiting for his favourite TV shows to come out on DVD in America. (Hey, I'm the writer, I can do what I like!)
And as everyone's desperate for the fanfic chapter, here it is. soon. I promise. Probably the next chapter, or the one after that. (
Things said on TV are in these ********
Buffy was collapsed on the couch, watching TV. It had been 6 days since she had ordered the videos, and they still hadn't come. She was starting to think that Spike had been right, and that it was impossible for you to order things from another dimension over the internet..
She heard the phone ring, and, with a lot of effort, dragged herself off the sofa, and across the room to answer it.
"Hello?"
Buffy heard Willow's cheery voice coming from the other end. "Hi Buffy. It's me."
"Hi Willow. Have you found anything about this End of Days thing yet?"
"A little. It says here that the End of Days is started by a "Sacred Death." I'm not really sure what that means, though. The book isn't very clear. Do you have any clue what it could be?"
"Um, I don't know. A ritual of some sort, I guess."
"Yeah, that makes sense ."
Buffy heard knocking coming from the hallway.
"Hold on a minute, Will. There's someone at the door."
Buffy placed the phone carefully down on the table, and went to answer it. Outside stood a delivery boy holding a large package.
"Delivery for a Miss Buffy Summers."
Buffy signed for the package, and shut the door. When she got inside, she ripped open the brown parcel to find inside four brightly coloured boxes with pictures of her on the front. She picked out the first one, and studied it carefully. It said on the front "Season Five, Episodes 1 - 11." She turned it over to find three videos tucked inside.
Grinning, she raced back to the phone and said, "Will, I have to go."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just gotta go patrol, is all. I mean, who says that that Mohra demon lurks at night. Maybe it's out there right now, terrorising somebody. I mean, I haven't found anything so far, so."
"Yeah, okay. Just be careful."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye."
Buffy hung up the phone, waited a few seconds, and then picked up the receiver once more. She dialled a number, then waited impatiently for the other person to pick up.
"Hello? Spike?"
**********
Buffy and Spike were sat on the sofa, watching themselves on the screen, sitting on the sofa.
"Can you believe it? Count Famous has heard of me."
"Okay," Buffy said. "This is beyond creepy."
"I gotta admit, luv, this is kind of strange."
"It's so cool though. I mean, those people who watched this got to see things that I never got to see, even though I was here, living it. And now I get to see it too."
Buffy settled back into the sofa, making sure she was settled as far away from Spike as possible. She kept telling herself the only reason she had asked Spike to come watch these with her was because the others wouldn't have understood. But a part of her kept wondering if she would have still asked him first, even if the others had wanted to come. The answer scared her more than any demon she had ever faced.
She smiled as another scene she didn't recognise came on. She was really enjoying this. She was getting to see all the little things that happened to her friends that they didn't tell her about. Willow was doing some work for Giles, just like she always used to. Buffy longed for that time, the time where everything was happy, and Giles didn't have a single thought about returning to England.
"I'm going back to England"
"What?" Buffy stared at the screen in disbelief. As the scene unfolded in front of her eyes, Buffy was speechless. He had been thinking about it, even then. He'd been planning it, and he didn't mention it. Not a word.
"What's wrong Slayer?" Spike looked at Buffy, concerned.
"It's just. Giles left me, and he left me when I needed him the most. And I thought it was just a sudden thing, you know. Like, "Hey, I'm bored of America! I think I'll just go home now!" But it wasn't. He'd been planning it since over a year ago. I just can't believe it."
Spike just looked at her. He really wanted to help, but he didn't really know what to do. Or what to say. Buffy smiled slightly. It felt so strange that her once sworn enemy was upset because she was upset. What was stranger was that she didn't want him feeling that way.
She put on a brave smile and said, "Maybe seeing what my friends get up to when I'm not around isn't so fun after all."
*******
Buffy watched the rest of the episode in silence. As she watched, she had a strange feeling in the back of her mind. She wanted to say that everything was exactly as she remembered it. except it wasn't. Something she remembered so clearly, just wasn't there. Where was Dawn? She knew she hadn't really been there before about a year ago, but she didn't really believe it. Not until she saw it there in front of her eyes.
"You're very quiet, luv. Anything bothering you?"
"No." Buffy paused for a moment. "Yes. It's just. Dawn was here. I remember it. I remember her seeing my bite from Dracula at breakfast, and me having to bribe her to keep her quiet. I remember her hanging with us at the beach because Mom had to go out, and she wouldn't let me leave her in the house alone. I remember so much, but it isn't here. It wasn't real."
"It was real to you."
Buffy smiled up at Spike. It was strange how even a soulless evil thing like Spike could say something sweet sometimes. Now she thought about it, he said sweet things to her a lot of the time, she had just never acknowledged them before now. Maybe it was time she did.
*******
Buffy was having a great time. Once she had got used to seeing herself on her TV screen, this had turned out to be a really fun evening. She could see why this show was so popular. She didn't think anyone could resist laughing at Harmony, prancing around like she was the next Big Bad. She kinda felt bad though. She had really been treating Dawn badly back then.
She turned her attention back to the screen, and watched Riley and Xander talking.
"Buffy's like nobody else in the world."
Buffy couldn't help but grin at the jealous glint in Spike's eye when he said that, but she tried to ignore it. Instead she concentrated on the wonderful things Riley was saying about her. If that didn't make her feel good, nothing would.
"But she doesn't love me."
For the second time that evening, Buffy stared at the screen in disbelief. What did he mean, she didn't love him?! Of course she loved him. Not like she loved Angel, she realised that now, but still, she loved him more than anything else at the time, and he didn't even believe it. And then she came back in the room and he hugged her, like everything was just perfectly fine? And Xander! Couldn't he have mentioned something to her? At least given her a hint about what was going on? Didn't he at least owe her that much?
"You alright Buffy?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Spike looked away, then looked back and said, "Soldier Boy didn't deserve you, you know."
"I don't know. Maybe I was the one who didn't deserve him."
"You don't believe that, do you?"
Buffy just looked at him.
"Cos, of course, you're the one who didn't deserve him. I mean, he was the perfect boyfriend, what with the secret government agency that experimented on demons, and the not telling you something was wrong, and the paying vampires to bite him, and the leaving without giving you so much as a chance to fix things. Yeah, you're right. You're the one who was at fault."
Buffy stopped worrying so much then. Spike was right, for once. She never thought she'd actually ever think that, but it was true. It wasn't her fault that she and Riley had broken up.
She suddenly realised how close she had got to Spike over the last couple of hours. To start with, they had both been perched on either end of the couch. Now, there were mere inches between them. Buffy decided that it wouldn't matter too much if they got a little bit closer. She wriggled slightly towards him, and rested her head on his shoulder. He stiffened, as though he expected her to punch him any second, then relaxed and put his arm around her. Buffy surprised even herself when she let it stay there.
*******
"Hanging out all day, in that mouldy old crypt. You just know he's doing something evil."
*This is it,* Buffy thought with a grin. *I'm going to find out just what Spike gets up to when he's alone.*
"Is it bigger than a bread box?"
Buffy burst out laughing.
"Oh my God! You played 20 Questions with Harmony?!"
"Yeah. So?"
"It's just YOU. Played 20 QUESTIONS. With HARMONY! Is there any part of that sentence that *isn't* funny?"
"Well, I was bored! It wasn't like I could go out or anything, and it was rerun season."
"So, you, what? Decided you would play the evil and torturous game that is 20 Questions?!"
"Hey, don't laugh. I could beat you at a game any day."
"Wanna bet?"
"Yeah. Actually I do."
"Well, you're not getting one. I'm not sad enough to play 20 Questions."
"Take that back!"
"Make me!"
Spike leapt towards Buffy. Buffy was ready to see him throw his head back with chip-induced pain when. he started to tickle her.
"No! Spike, stop! NO! NO!" Buffy shook with laughter, as she fell off the couch and onto the floor.
"Not until you take it back."
"No!"
"Then I'm not stopping!"
"Stop it! This isn't fair!"
"Didn't know you were so ticklish, luv."
"Please! No! No! Plea-ease!"
"Was that begging I just heard? I'll stop, when you take it back!"
"Never!"
Buffy suddenly heard feet stomping down the stairs. She pushed Spike away and quickly clambered back onto the couch, just as Dawn stepped into the living room.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Nothing," Buffy said quickly. A little too quickly. "We were just watching TV."
"Well, can you keep the "nothing" down, cos I've got a ton of Math homework to do."
"Sure."
"Okay, then." Dawn gave a superior little grin to Spike before bounding up the stairs back to her room, two at a time.
Buffy sat stiffly on the couch, far away from Spike once more. It was only after a moment that she realised something.
"Spike," she said slowly. "I don't think Dawn was doing her Math homework."
"Why not, luv?"
"Because it's Friday night. How many 15 year olds do you know who do their homework on a Friday night?"
"Looks like Lil Bit was snooping, trying to find out what we were up to. Not that we *were* up to anything," he added quickly, seeing the look on Buffy's face.
"Uh, and now we've missed the end. Is there another one on this tape?"
Spike leaned over and grabbed the box.
"Nope, that's it. Do you want to watch the next one?"
"Not tonight."
"Well, I guess I'd better be going then."
"No!"
Spike raised his eyebrow at her.
"I just mean, we could go on the internet again, if you want?"
"Okay then."
*******
Buffy and Spike settled down in front of the computer screen for the third time. When they had logged on, Buffy looked over at Spike.
"What shall we search for today?"
"Well, we've already searched for you. Why don't we search for stuff on me?"
Buffy typed "Spike" into the search bar and pressed enter. She didn't really expect to find anything. She could understand people making websites about her, but people making websites about Spike?!
Her jaw dropped open as she saw the list of links.
"267,362 matches. Looks like I'm more popular than you were, Slayer."
"Oh, shut up and choose one."
"I will then."
Spike moved the mouse around the screen, then clicked on one which read "Spikeaholics."
Buffy's eyes went wide when the page loaded.
"Spikeaholics Not So Anonymous?! Who would like YOU enough to call themselves a Spikeaholic?"
"Guess quite a few people, luv, or there wouldn't be a website."
Spike clicked to enter, and was instantly given a list of options.
"Okay, shall we try another quiz?"
"No! No quizzes. This world's quizzes are evil. And I'm not very good at them."
"Well that's just tough luv."
Spike chose the quiz, and started to read aloud what it said. "The Top Signs You're A Spikeaholic. The Spikeaholic Purity test. See, Slayer. It isn't a test you can fail. Now you have to take it!"
Buffy pouted as Spike read out the first question. "Do you drool on your computer so much that you need a drool guard after looking at pictures of me?"
"Eww, no!"
"Okay. Do I pop into your head when someone mentions men?"
"You do whenever somebody mentions evil men. Does that count?"
"Let's say it does." Spike ticked the little box next to the question. "Do you schedule all your appointments around BtVS, just so you can see me?"
"What's BtVS?"
"Not a clue."
"Well it has something to do with seeing you, so I'm gonna say no."
"Do you swoon, sigh, drool, groan, moan, or get extremely horny every time you see me?"
"Well, I do moan a lot when I see you."
"Moan a lot. Okay." Spike ticked that box too. "Do you accidentally scream my name during sex? Yes." Spike clicked the box.
"In your dreams, Spike!"
"In yours too!"
"Un-tick the box! It isn't fair, it's cheating!"
"Fine, then." Spike un-selected the box. "Do you date someone just because they remind you of me?"
"No."
"Do you have more pictures of James Marsters around your house than of your own family?"
"Who's James Marsters? What's he got to do with this?"
"Dunno, so let's just say yes. Does your mind wander during a conversation, just because someone mentioned something remotely related to me... such as blonde?"
*Lie,* Buffy thought. *Lie! You can't answer that one truthfully. You'll never hear in the end of it.*
"Yes," Buffy replied. "But only in the I hate you and want to kill you sense."
*Way to go, Buffy.*
Buffy answered all of the next questions no, although they mostly went on about this James Marsters guy, whoever he was. Eventually, they got down to question 16.
"Does leather turn you on?"
"Yes."
Spike stared at Buffy. "What?!"
"Well, you did ask."
Spike just raised his eyebrow at her, and turned back to the computer.
"Okay. Leather turns you on. Check. Do you talk about me as if you know me?"
"Well, yeah. Duh!"
A few more questions went by, Buffy answering no to all but one: Does a British accent make your knees weak? She never had been able to resist foreigners.
"Have you made all of your best online friends (or REAL LIFE friends) through your mutual love of me?"
"How about mutual hate of you? Does that count?"
"I guess so."
"Okay, then yes."
A few more questions passed, and then they were done.
"Okay, now we just have to click calculate, and."
Buffy watched as her results appeared on the screen.
"65%?"
"Guess you like me more than you thought, luv."
""Your addiction is here to stay. Recovery is futile. Sit back and enjoy it?!""
"Good advice if you ask me."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at Spike, and read a little further down.
"Weirdness factor - 47%? It thinks I'm weird!"
"Well, you are, pet."
"Shut up Spike." Buffy pushed Spike away from, hard. She'd only meant to do it playfully, but she had forgotten about her Slayer strength. Spike's computer chair went spinning in circles across the room, and crashed into the door. Spike toppled off sideways, and landed in a heap on the floor.
"Ow!" Spike said. He had meant to sound angry but it just came out like a pitiful little wail.
"Serves you right."
"I see you're full of the sympathy." Spike got grumpily to his feet and dragged the chair back up to the computer. "So, what are we looking at now."
"Well, nothing more on this site, that's for sure. They're all a bunch of freaks, worshipping you. And they said I was one of them!"
Buffy clicked back to the search engine. "Now I'm going to choose one."
She scanned the list of links, then spotted the perfect one. Grinning wickedly, she clicked it before Spike could see what it was.
The page loaded, and it was Spike's turned to be shocked.
"KittenSpike?!"
Buffy scrolled down the page, and instantly fell off her chair from laughing.
"What? What is it?"
Spike nudged Buffy out of the way, and stared at the computer screen in horror. All across it were full colour pictures of him. wearing cute black fuzzy kitten ears.
"HOW DID THEY KNOW ABOUT THEM?!"
Buffy stopped laughing long enough to clamber back onto her chair. "What do you mean, how did they know?"
"I mean.what are they on? As if I'd wear fuzzy black kitten ears!"
"You're a terrible liar, Spike."
"Fine! They were part of a Halloween costume. Drusilla was being a bit crazy, made me dress up as a cat on Halloween. Now let's never talk about it again!"
"What were the other parts of the costume?"
"As if I'm gonna tell you!" Buffy just stared at him. "A spandex leotard, big fuzzy gloves and a long black tail. I looked like a right wanker as well."
Buffy just grinned.
"What are you grinning about?!"
"It's just, I'd like to see you in this costume sometime."
"In your dreams pet."
"In yours too."
******* So there it was. What do you all think? Please, pleeeease review. Even if you just say "I'm reading your story" I'd really REALLY appreciate it. You wouldn't believe the size of the pile of homework I have due for tomorrow. At the moment I'm supposed to be writing using the superlative in French. Who needs the superlative anyway? So you can see I REALLY NEED YOUR REVIEWS to make it through the week. At least there are only 8 days left till the new season starts here. Then I can most likely get depressed about what's happening in that. Yay!
Thank you all soooo sooooo much for the reviews (again!). *Hugs all her reviewers.*
T'eyla Minh - That website is so funny! I couldn't stop laughing for ages! Hope you liked what I did with it. FanOfFaith - Sorry, but no. I'm a Faith fan too, so maybe I'll mention her somewhere, but she's not actually going to appear. ( KitKat - As if I'm gonna tell you! Sweatermonkey - You're welcome! Fastpilot - lol. You'll just have to wait and see. ello - Maybe. Just maybe. *evil laugh*
Thanks to everyone else who reviewed, I love you all! Both the Spikeaholics and the KittenSpike websites are real, and all Spike fans HAVE to go visit them! The addresses are in the reviews. If anyone else has a website you'd like Spike and Buffy to see, tell me and I'll see what I can do! The same goes for anything else you'd like them to see, like types of fanfiction ect. Please? Oh, and if anyone here is on Neopets, and knows of a Spike or Spuffy guild please neomail me (spike_rocks88) cos I need one of them for the story. Thanks!
A/N: I know this chapter's a bit late, but school's started up again, and all the teachers seem to think now is the perfect time to give everyone as many tests and assignments as humanly possible. (
To everyone I'm just going to say this: Yes, I know what's going to happen, and no, I'm not going to tell you!
Some reviewers (namely Green) asked if Buffy has one of those international decoder things so she can watch the vids. Well, I can confirm that she recently installed one, on the request of Spike, who was sick of waiting for his favourite TV shows to come out on DVD in America. (Hey, I'm the writer, I can do what I like!)
And as everyone's desperate for the fanfic chapter, here it is. soon. I promise. Probably the next chapter, or the one after that. (
Things said on TV are in these ********
Buffy was collapsed on the couch, watching TV. It had been 6 days since she had ordered the videos, and they still hadn't come. She was starting to think that Spike had been right, and that it was impossible for you to order things from another dimension over the internet..
She heard the phone ring, and, with a lot of effort, dragged herself off the sofa, and across the room to answer it.
"Hello?"
Buffy heard Willow's cheery voice coming from the other end. "Hi Buffy. It's me."
"Hi Willow. Have you found anything about this End of Days thing yet?"
"A little. It says here that the End of Days is started by a "Sacred Death." I'm not really sure what that means, though. The book isn't very clear. Do you have any clue what it could be?"
"Um, I don't know. A ritual of some sort, I guess."
"Yeah, that makes sense ."
Buffy heard knocking coming from the hallway.
"Hold on a minute, Will. There's someone at the door."
Buffy placed the phone carefully down on the table, and went to answer it. Outside stood a delivery boy holding a large package.
"Delivery for a Miss Buffy Summers."
Buffy signed for the package, and shut the door. When she got inside, she ripped open the brown parcel to find inside four brightly coloured boxes with pictures of her on the front. She picked out the first one, and studied it carefully. It said on the front "Season Five, Episodes 1 - 11." She turned it over to find three videos tucked inside.
Grinning, she raced back to the phone and said, "Will, I have to go."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just gotta go patrol, is all. I mean, who says that that Mohra demon lurks at night. Maybe it's out there right now, terrorising somebody. I mean, I haven't found anything so far, so."
"Yeah, okay. Just be careful."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye."
Buffy hung up the phone, waited a few seconds, and then picked up the receiver once more. She dialled a number, then waited impatiently for the other person to pick up.
"Hello? Spike?"
**********
Buffy and Spike were sat on the sofa, watching themselves on the screen, sitting on the sofa.
"Can you believe it? Count Famous has heard of me."
"Okay," Buffy said. "This is beyond creepy."
"I gotta admit, luv, this is kind of strange."
"It's so cool though. I mean, those people who watched this got to see things that I never got to see, even though I was here, living it. And now I get to see it too."
Buffy settled back into the sofa, making sure she was settled as far away from Spike as possible. She kept telling herself the only reason she had asked Spike to come watch these with her was because the others wouldn't have understood. But a part of her kept wondering if she would have still asked him first, even if the others had wanted to come. The answer scared her more than any demon she had ever faced.
She smiled as another scene she didn't recognise came on. She was really enjoying this. She was getting to see all the little things that happened to her friends that they didn't tell her about. Willow was doing some work for Giles, just like she always used to. Buffy longed for that time, the time where everything was happy, and Giles didn't have a single thought about returning to England.
"I'm going back to England"
"What?" Buffy stared at the screen in disbelief. As the scene unfolded in front of her eyes, Buffy was speechless. He had been thinking about it, even then. He'd been planning it, and he didn't mention it. Not a word.
"What's wrong Slayer?" Spike looked at Buffy, concerned.
"It's just. Giles left me, and he left me when I needed him the most. And I thought it was just a sudden thing, you know. Like, "Hey, I'm bored of America! I think I'll just go home now!" But it wasn't. He'd been planning it since over a year ago. I just can't believe it."
Spike just looked at her. He really wanted to help, but he didn't really know what to do. Or what to say. Buffy smiled slightly. It felt so strange that her once sworn enemy was upset because she was upset. What was stranger was that she didn't want him feeling that way.
She put on a brave smile and said, "Maybe seeing what my friends get up to when I'm not around isn't so fun after all."
*******
Buffy watched the rest of the episode in silence. As she watched, she had a strange feeling in the back of her mind. She wanted to say that everything was exactly as she remembered it. except it wasn't. Something she remembered so clearly, just wasn't there. Where was Dawn? She knew she hadn't really been there before about a year ago, but she didn't really believe it. Not until she saw it there in front of her eyes.
"You're very quiet, luv. Anything bothering you?"
"No." Buffy paused for a moment. "Yes. It's just. Dawn was here. I remember it. I remember her seeing my bite from Dracula at breakfast, and me having to bribe her to keep her quiet. I remember her hanging with us at the beach because Mom had to go out, and she wouldn't let me leave her in the house alone. I remember so much, but it isn't here. It wasn't real."
"It was real to you."
Buffy smiled up at Spike. It was strange how even a soulless evil thing like Spike could say something sweet sometimes. Now she thought about it, he said sweet things to her a lot of the time, she had just never acknowledged them before now. Maybe it was time she did.
*******
Buffy was having a great time. Once she had got used to seeing herself on her TV screen, this had turned out to be a really fun evening. She could see why this show was so popular. She didn't think anyone could resist laughing at Harmony, prancing around like she was the next Big Bad. She kinda felt bad though. She had really been treating Dawn badly back then.
She turned her attention back to the screen, and watched Riley and Xander talking.
"Buffy's like nobody else in the world."
Buffy couldn't help but grin at the jealous glint in Spike's eye when he said that, but she tried to ignore it. Instead she concentrated on the wonderful things Riley was saying about her. If that didn't make her feel good, nothing would.
"But she doesn't love me."
For the second time that evening, Buffy stared at the screen in disbelief. What did he mean, she didn't love him?! Of course she loved him. Not like she loved Angel, she realised that now, but still, she loved him more than anything else at the time, and he didn't even believe it. And then she came back in the room and he hugged her, like everything was just perfectly fine? And Xander! Couldn't he have mentioned something to her? At least given her a hint about what was going on? Didn't he at least owe her that much?
"You alright Buffy?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Spike looked away, then looked back and said, "Soldier Boy didn't deserve you, you know."
"I don't know. Maybe I was the one who didn't deserve him."
"You don't believe that, do you?"
Buffy just looked at him.
"Cos, of course, you're the one who didn't deserve him. I mean, he was the perfect boyfriend, what with the secret government agency that experimented on demons, and the not telling you something was wrong, and the paying vampires to bite him, and the leaving without giving you so much as a chance to fix things. Yeah, you're right. You're the one who was at fault."
Buffy stopped worrying so much then. Spike was right, for once. She never thought she'd actually ever think that, but it was true. It wasn't her fault that she and Riley had broken up.
She suddenly realised how close she had got to Spike over the last couple of hours. To start with, they had both been perched on either end of the couch. Now, there were mere inches between them. Buffy decided that it wouldn't matter too much if they got a little bit closer. She wriggled slightly towards him, and rested her head on his shoulder. He stiffened, as though he expected her to punch him any second, then relaxed and put his arm around her. Buffy surprised even herself when she let it stay there.
*******
"Hanging out all day, in that mouldy old crypt. You just know he's doing something evil."
*This is it,* Buffy thought with a grin. *I'm going to find out just what Spike gets up to when he's alone.*
"Is it bigger than a bread box?"
Buffy burst out laughing.
"Oh my God! You played 20 Questions with Harmony?!"
"Yeah. So?"
"It's just YOU. Played 20 QUESTIONS. With HARMONY! Is there any part of that sentence that *isn't* funny?"
"Well, I was bored! It wasn't like I could go out or anything, and it was rerun season."
"So, you, what? Decided you would play the evil and torturous game that is 20 Questions?!"
"Hey, don't laugh. I could beat you at a game any day."
"Wanna bet?"
"Yeah. Actually I do."
"Well, you're not getting one. I'm not sad enough to play 20 Questions."
"Take that back!"
"Make me!"
Spike leapt towards Buffy. Buffy was ready to see him throw his head back with chip-induced pain when. he started to tickle her.
"No! Spike, stop! NO! NO!" Buffy shook with laughter, as she fell off the couch and onto the floor.
"Not until you take it back."
"No!"
"Then I'm not stopping!"
"Stop it! This isn't fair!"
"Didn't know you were so ticklish, luv."
"Please! No! No! Plea-ease!"
"Was that begging I just heard? I'll stop, when you take it back!"
"Never!"
Buffy suddenly heard feet stomping down the stairs. She pushed Spike away and quickly clambered back onto the couch, just as Dawn stepped into the living room.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Nothing," Buffy said quickly. A little too quickly. "We were just watching TV."
"Well, can you keep the "nothing" down, cos I've got a ton of Math homework to do."
"Sure."
"Okay, then." Dawn gave a superior little grin to Spike before bounding up the stairs back to her room, two at a time.
Buffy sat stiffly on the couch, far away from Spike once more. It was only after a moment that she realised something.
"Spike," she said slowly. "I don't think Dawn was doing her Math homework."
"Why not, luv?"
"Because it's Friday night. How many 15 year olds do you know who do their homework on a Friday night?"
"Looks like Lil Bit was snooping, trying to find out what we were up to. Not that we *were* up to anything," he added quickly, seeing the look on Buffy's face.
"Uh, and now we've missed the end. Is there another one on this tape?"
Spike leaned over and grabbed the box.
"Nope, that's it. Do you want to watch the next one?"
"Not tonight."
"Well, I guess I'd better be going then."
"No!"
Spike raised his eyebrow at her.
"I just mean, we could go on the internet again, if you want?"
"Okay then."
*******
Buffy and Spike settled down in front of the computer screen for the third time. When they had logged on, Buffy looked over at Spike.
"What shall we search for today?"
"Well, we've already searched for you. Why don't we search for stuff on me?"
Buffy typed "Spike" into the search bar and pressed enter. She didn't really expect to find anything. She could understand people making websites about her, but people making websites about Spike?!
Her jaw dropped open as she saw the list of links.
"267,362 matches. Looks like I'm more popular than you were, Slayer."
"Oh, shut up and choose one."
"I will then."
Spike moved the mouse around the screen, then clicked on one which read "Spikeaholics."
Buffy's eyes went wide when the page loaded.
"Spikeaholics Not So Anonymous?! Who would like YOU enough to call themselves a Spikeaholic?"
"Guess quite a few people, luv, or there wouldn't be a website."
Spike clicked to enter, and was instantly given a list of options.
"Okay, shall we try another quiz?"
"No! No quizzes. This world's quizzes are evil. And I'm not very good at them."
"Well that's just tough luv."
Spike chose the quiz, and started to read aloud what it said. "The Top Signs You're A Spikeaholic. The Spikeaholic Purity test. See, Slayer. It isn't a test you can fail. Now you have to take it!"
Buffy pouted as Spike read out the first question. "Do you drool on your computer so much that you need a drool guard after looking at pictures of me?"
"Eww, no!"
"Okay. Do I pop into your head when someone mentions men?"
"You do whenever somebody mentions evil men. Does that count?"
"Let's say it does." Spike ticked the little box next to the question. "Do you schedule all your appointments around BtVS, just so you can see me?"
"What's BtVS?"
"Not a clue."
"Well it has something to do with seeing you, so I'm gonna say no."
"Do you swoon, sigh, drool, groan, moan, or get extremely horny every time you see me?"
"Well, I do moan a lot when I see you."
"Moan a lot. Okay." Spike ticked that box too. "Do you accidentally scream my name during sex? Yes." Spike clicked the box.
"In your dreams, Spike!"
"In yours too!"
"Un-tick the box! It isn't fair, it's cheating!"
"Fine, then." Spike un-selected the box. "Do you date someone just because they remind you of me?"
"No."
"Do you have more pictures of James Marsters around your house than of your own family?"
"Who's James Marsters? What's he got to do with this?"
"Dunno, so let's just say yes. Does your mind wander during a conversation, just because someone mentioned something remotely related to me... such as blonde?"
*Lie,* Buffy thought. *Lie! You can't answer that one truthfully. You'll never hear in the end of it.*
"Yes," Buffy replied. "But only in the I hate you and want to kill you sense."
*Way to go, Buffy.*
Buffy answered all of the next questions no, although they mostly went on about this James Marsters guy, whoever he was. Eventually, they got down to question 16.
"Does leather turn you on?"
"Yes."
Spike stared at Buffy. "What?!"
"Well, you did ask."
Spike just raised his eyebrow at her, and turned back to the computer.
"Okay. Leather turns you on. Check. Do you talk about me as if you know me?"
"Well, yeah. Duh!"
A few more questions went by, Buffy answering no to all but one: Does a British accent make your knees weak? She never had been able to resist foreigners.
"Have you made all of your best online friends (or REAL LIFE friends) through your mutual love of me?"
"How about mutual hate of you? Does that count?"
"I guess so."
"Okay, then yes."
A few more questions passed, and then they were done.
"Okay, now we just have to click calculate, and."
Buffy watched as her results appeared on the screen.
"65%?"
"Guess you like me more than you thought, luv."
""Your addiction is here to stay. Recovery is futile. Sit back and enjoy it?!""
"Good advice if you ask me."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at Spike, and read a little further down.
"Weirdness factor - 47%? It thinks I'm weird!"
"Well, you are, pet."
"Shut up Spike." Buffy pushed Spike away from, hard. She'd only meant to do it playfully, but she had forgotten about her Slayer strength. Spike's computer chair went spinning in circles across the room, and crashed into the door. Spike toppled off sideways, and landed in a heap on the floor.
"Ow!" Spike said. He had meant to sound angry but it just came out like a pitiful little wail.
"Serves you right."
"I see you're full of the sympathy." Spike got grumpily to his feet and dragged the chair back up to the computer. "So, what are we looking at now."
"Well, nothing more on this site, that's for sure. They're all a bunch of freaks, worshipping you. And they said I was one of them!"
Buffy clicked back to the search engine. "Now I'm going to choose one."
She scanned the list of links, then spotted the perfect one. Grinning wickedly, she clicked it before Spike could see what it was.
The page loaded, and it was Spike's turned to be shocked.
"KittenSpike?!"
Buffy scrolled down the page, and instantly fell off her chair from laughing.
"What? What is it?"
Spike nudged Buffy out of the way, and stared at the computer screen in horror. All across it were full colour pictures of him. wearing cute black fuzzy kitten ears.
"HOW DID THEY KNOW ABOUT THEM?!"
Buffy stopped laughing long enough to clamber back onto her chair. "What do you mean, how did they know?"
"I mean.what are they on? As if I'd wear fuzzy black kitten ears!"
"You're a terrible liar, Spike."
"Fine! They were part of a Halloween costume. Drusilla was being a bit crazy, made me dress up as a cat on Halloween. Now let's never talk about it again!"
"What were the other parts of the costume?"
"As if I'm gonna tell you!" Buffy just stared at him. "A spandex leotard, big fuzzy gloves and a long black tail. I looked like a right wanker as well."
Buffy just grinned.
"What are you grinning about?!"
"It's just, I'd like to see you in this costume sometime."
"In your dreams pet."
"In yours too."
******* So there it was. What do you all think? Please, pleeeease review. Even if you just say "I'm reading your story" I'd really REALLY appreciate it. You wouldn't believe the size of the pile of homework I have due for tomorrow. At the moment I'm supposed to be writing using the superlative in French. Who needs the superlative anyway? So you can see I REALLY NEED YOUR REVIEWS to make it through the week. At least there are only 8 days left till the new season starts here. Then I can most likely get depressed about what's happening in that. Yay!
Thank you all soooo sooooo much for the reviews (again!). *Hugs all her reviewers.*
T'eyla Minh - That website is so funny! I couldn't stop laughing for ages! Hope you liked what I did with it. FanOfFaith - Sorry, but no. I'm a Faith fan too, so maybe I'll mention her somewhere, but she's not actually going to appear. ( KitKat - As if I'm gonna tell you! Sweatermonkey - You're welcome! Fastpilot - lol. You'll just have to wait and see. ello - Maybe. Just maybe. *evil laugh*
Thanks to everyone else who reviewed, I love you all! Both the Spikeaholics and the KittenSpike websites are real, and all Spike fans HAVE to go visit them! The addresses are in the reviews. If anyone else has a website you'd like Spike and Buffy to see, tell me and I'll see what I can do! The same goes for anything else you'd like them to see, like types of fanfiction ect. Please? Oh, and if anyone here is on Neopets, and knows of a Spike or Spuffy guild please neomail me (spike_rocks88) cos I need one of them for the story. Thanks!
