Disclaimer: It all belongs to ME! (That's Mutant Enemy. . . unfortunately.
But by putting that as my disclaimer, it makes me feel better)
A/N: Sorry it's late, but I've had a TON of work. It's kinda short, but I promise the next chapter will be extra specially long, cos of what's going to happen. Anyway, hope you like it (. ******* Spike strode into Buffy's living room, coat billowing out behind him.
"Slayer? You ready to do some more "research"?"
Buffy came storming in from the kitchen, stake raised high.
"Slayer?"
"I'm done."
"Buffy? What's wrong? Is this about the cheese stains on the carpet? Cos I said I was sorry, luv."
Buffy advanced on Spike, her face set. "Spike, you're a killer. And I should've done this years ago."
Spike started to look slightly scared now. As he backed away from her, he said nervously, "Ha, ha, ha. Good one, luv."
But Buffy kept on approaching, until she had backed him into a corner. She drew her stake back, and lunged it at his chest.
Spike winced, but Buffy stopped the stake just before it touched him. Then, she pulled his head down and kissed him as passionately as she could, dropping her stake in the process. Just as Spike was getting into it, she pulled back, looking at him in horror, her hand covering her mouth.
"What's wrong, pet. If I remember right, you were the one who kissed me."
But Buffy just ignored him. She dropped her hand again, and walked forward, pushing herself up against him as he stared at her in disbelief.
"Spike, I want you."
There was something far too familiar about this, but Spike couldn't quite put his finger on it.
Buffy giggled, and put on a very deep, very bad British accent. "Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much."
"Hey, wait a minute. . ."
Buffy giggled again, and walked slowly away from Spike. "Didn't you like it, Spike? I thought it was your ultimate dream."
"You watched it! I can't believe you watched it!"
Buffy grinned coyly at him. "Of course I did! You seemed so desperate to stop me seeing it. What else was I supposed to do?"
And with that, Buffy turned on her heel and headed into the dining room.
"Are you coming or what? We don't have all night, you know."
*******
Buffy stared at the screen, looking at the website in front of her in disbelief.
"And You Thought YOU Were Obsessed With Buffy the Vampire Slayer?! The people in this dimension are so weird. I mean who would want to make a website about being obsessed with me. Apart from you, I mean."
Spike scowled at her as she scrolled casually through the links. "What shall we go on?" Buffy paused as she saw one choice about halfway down. "Obsession List. What's that?"
"A list of obsessions?" Spike guessed, as Buffy clicked the link.
Her eyes went wide as she read the title. "You know you're obsessed with BtVS when. . ." She looked disgustedly at Spike. "So is this like a list of things people do when they're obsessed with me? I wonder how many of them you've done."
She read the first one out loud. "You whittle wooden stakes."
Spike smirked at her. "Well, I don't do that, but I know somebody else that does."
"Well, it's important. I mean, shoddy stakes could cost a slayer her life, and I don't want to die because of some stupid carpenter's bad craftmanship."
"You really need to get a hobby, luv."
Buffy pulled a face at him, as he read out the next one. "You kick open doors."
"Hey, it's a thing!"
"Doors do have handles, pet. You could just use one of them instead."
Buffy blushed. "Well, I think it scares the vamps. It makes me look powerful, you know?"
"Whatever, pet." He scrolled further down the list. "You keep protesting that Buffy is NOT a ditz name."
"Hey! Buffy is NOT a ditz name!!!"
"Okay, then." Spike grinned at her. "You sleep with a stake under your pillow."
"You never know when a vampire could attack."
"Even though they can't get into your room without you inviting them in first."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, but that just made him laugh more. "Great comeback, luv."
Spike continued to read out the list. "You date men whom you meet in dark alleys."
"Not ALL the men I've dated hang round in dark alleys."
"Yeah, name one."
Buffy thought hard for a moment. "Okay, shut up."
Before Spike could say another word, she read out the next one. "You think that anyone that listens to Cher or Celine Dion is a demon."
Spike snorted. "Everyone who listens to Cher or Celine Dion IS a demon. I mean, they're demons, so naturally anyone who likes that horrible chick music is one too."
"Cher and Celine Dion are demons?!"
Spike looked at Buffy as if she was crazy. "Well, yeah. Why do you think Cher keeps having so many face lifts? She's gotta keep her human face in shape."
He turned back to the computer. "Just in case you lose your voice you sleep with a message board under your pillow."
"Yeah, I don't want to have to pay another 10 bucks for one. I tell you, that message board was such a rip off. The pen dried up in less than a day."
Spike stared at her.
"What?"
"I thought you keep a stake under your pillow."
"I do."
Spike just shook his head, and carried on reading. "Your favourite day is Tuesday."
"No way! My least favourite day is Tuesday. Bad things always seem to happen on them."
She elbowed him out of the way, and read out the last one on the list. "You're afraid a guy with cheese will haunt you in your dreams." She looked at Spike in disbelief. "Oh my God, how did they know about that? I've had nightmares about a bald guy waving pieces of cheese around since I was 8. It's so creepy."
"Oh my God, me too." Spike said, shocked.
"What? I thought vampires didn't have dreams."
"Not usually, but ever since I came to Sunnydale I've had these dreams about a weird guy with cheese on his head. They wig me out."
"What? The Big Bad's scared of a guy who wears cheese on is head?!"
Spike suddenly leapt forward and switched off the computer. "Come on, luv. This is boring. Let's watch some more vids instead."
Buffy snuggled down on the couch, as she watched an episode called Shadow. She frowned slightly as she saw Riley going into her house, uninvited, and walk upstairs. Her frown grew when she saw who else was upstairs.
"Spike!" Spike turned to look at her, sheepishly. "You were in my room?! Uninvited?! Sniffing my sweater?!"
"Hey, it's a thing," Spike said indignantly. "Like I just said, getting to know your enemy's scent. It's a predator thing."
"I don't go around sniffing your underwear."
"Well that would be sick. It's not your underwear. It's just a sweater."
Buffy studied the sweater carefully. "Oh my God! That's the sweater that I lost last year! I can't believe you stole it!!!"
Spike looked guilty, as Buffy watched Riley shoo him away. As he went out of the door, she noticed his hand fly out into her draw.
"YOU STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?!"
"Like I said, luv. It's a predator thing."
Please R/R!!!! Pretty please with sugar on top? Come on, you know you want to!
A/N: Sorry it's late, but I've had a TON of work. It's kinda short, but I promise the next chapter will be extra specially long, cos of what's going to happen. Anyway, hope you like it (. ******* Spike strode into Buffy's living room, coat billowing out behind him.
"Slayer? You ready to do some more "research"?"
Buffy came storming in from the kitchen, stake raised high.
"Slayer?"
"I'm done."
"Buffy? What's wrong? Is this about the cheese stains on the carpet? Cos I said I was sorry, luv."
Buffy advanced on Spike, her face set. "Spike, you're a killer. And I should've done this years ago."
Spike started to look slightly scared now. As he backed away from her, he said nervously, "Ha, ha, ha. Good one, luv."
But Buffy kept on approaching, until she had backed him into a corner. She drew her stake back, and lunged it at his chest.
Spike winced, but Buffy stopped the stake just before it touched him. Then, she pulled his head down and kissed him as passionately as she could, dropping her stake in the process. Just as Spike was getting into it, she pulled back, looking at him in horror, her hand covering her mouth.
"What's wrong, pet. If I remember right, you were the one who kissed me."
But Buffy just ignored him. She dropped her hand again, and walked forward, pushing herself up against him as he stared at her in disbelief.
"Spike, I want you."
There was something far too familiar about this, but Spike couldn't quite put his finger on it.
Buffy giggled, and put on a very deep, very bad British accent. "Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much."
"Hey, wait a minute. . ."
Buffy giggled again, and walked slowly away from Spike. "Didn't you like it, Spike? I thought it was your ultimate dream."
"You watched it! I can't believe you watched it!"
Buffy grinned coyly at him. "Of course I did! You seemed so desperate to stop me seeing it. What else was I supposed to do?"
And with that, Buffy turned on her heel and headed into the dining room.
"Are you coming or what? We don't have all night, you know."
*******
Buffy stared at the screen, looking at the website in front of her in disbelief.
"And You Thought YOU Were Obsessed With Buffy the Vampire Slayer?! The people in this dimension are so weird. I mean who would want to make a website about being obsessed with me. Apart from you, I mean."
Spike scowled at her as she scrolled casually through the links. "What shall we go on?" Buffy paused as she saw one choice about halfway down. "Obsession List. What's that?"
"A list of obsessions?" Spike guessed, as Buffy clicked the link.
Her eyes went wide as she read the title. "You know you're obsessed with BtVS when. . ." She looked disgustedly at Spike. "So is this like a list of things people do when they're obsessed with me? I wonder how many of them you've done."
She read the first one out loud. "You whittle wooden stakes."
Spike smirked at her. "Well, I don't do that, but I know somebody else that does."
"Well, it's important. I mean, shoddy stakes could cost a slayer her life, and I don't want to die because of some stupid carpenter's bad craftmanship."
"You really need to get a hobby, luv."
Buffy pulled a face at him, as he read out the next one. "You kick open doors."
"Hey, it's a thing!"
"Doors do have handles, pet. You could just use one of them instead."
Buffy blushed. "Well, I think it scares the vamps. It makes me look powerful, you know?"
"Whatever, pet." He scrolled further down the list. "You keep protesting that Buffy is NOT a ditz name."
"Hey! Buffy is NOT a ditz name!!!"
"Okay, then." Spike grinned at her. "You sleep with a stake under your pillow."
"You never know when a vampire could attack."
"Even though they can't get into your room without you inviting them in first."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, but that just made him laugh more. "Great comeback, luv."
Spike continued to read out the list. "You date men whom you meet in dark alleys."
"Not ALL the men I've dated hang round in dark alleys."
"Yeah, name one."
Buffy thought hard for a moment. "Okay, shut up."
Before Spike could say another word, she read out the next one. "You think that anyone that listens to Cher or Celine Dion is a demon."
Spike snorted. "Everyone who listens to Cher or Celine Dion IS a demon. I mean, they're demons, so naturally anyone who likes that horrible chick music is one too."
"Cher and Celine Dion are demons?!"
Spike looked at Buffy as if she was crazy. "Well, yeah. Why do you think Cher keeps having so many face lifts? She's gotta keep her human face in shape."
He turned back to the computer. "Just in case you lose your voice you sleep with a message board under your pillow."
"Yeah, I don't want to have to pay another 10 bucks for one. I tell you, that message board was such a rip off. The pen dried up in less than a day."
Spike stared at her.
"What?"
"I thought you keep a stake under your pillow."
"I do."
Spike just shook his head, and carried on reading. "Your favourite day is Tuesday."
"No way! My least favourite day is Tuesday. Bad things always seem to happen on them."
She elbowed him out of the way, and read out the last one on the list. "You're afraid a guy with cheese will haunt you in your dreams." She looked at Spike in disbelief. "Oh my God, how did they know about that? I've had nightmares about a bald guy waving pieces of cheese around since I was 8. It's so creepy."
"Oh my God, me too." Spike said, shocked.
"What? I thought vampires didn't have dreams."
"Not usually, but ever since I came to Sunnydale I've had these dreams about a weird guy with cheese on his head. They wig me out."
"What? The Big Bad's scared of a guy who wears cheese on is head?!"
Spike suddenly leapt forward and switched off the computer. "Come on, luv. This is boring. Let's watch some more vids instead."
Buffy snuggled down on the couch, as she watched an episode called Shadow. She frowned slightly as she saw Riley going into her house, uninvited, and walk upstairs. Her frown grew when she saw who else was upstairs.
"Spike!" Spike turned to look at her, sheepishly. "You were in my room?! Uninvited?! Sniffing my sweater?!"
"Hey, it's a thing," Spike said indignantly. "Like I just said, getting to know your enemy's scent. It's a predator thing."
"I don't go around sniffing your underwear."
"Well that would be sick. It's not your underwear. It's just a sweater."
Buffy studied the sweater carefully. "Oh my God! That's the sweater that I lost last year! I can't believe you stole it!!!"
Spike looked guilty, as Buffy watched Riley shoo him away. As he went out of the door, she noticed his hand fly out into her draw.
"YOU STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?!"
"Like I said, luv. It's a predator thing."
Please R/R!!!! Pretty please with sugar on top? Come on, you know you want to!
