Disclaimer: It all belongs to the Powers That Be. And the Powers That Be
belong to Joss. So basically - NONE OF IT'S MINE!!! : (
A/N: I am soooo sorry this is out so late, but every single teacher has decided to give us tests and essays and all sorts at the moment. What with doing my geography DME, writing essays on the Russian Revolution, struggling with Food coursework and trying to learn lines for the play I'm in, I've found it hard to find time to write. I've finished all that though, and half-term is next week, so expect lots of updates then : )
********
Buffy lay curled up on the couch, her head on Spike's lap. She glanced at the clock, and was amazed by how much time had gone by. It was almost midnight, but she didn't feel like stopping yet. Willow and Dawn were both already in bed, and it was strangely comforting to lie there with Spike, even if Spike had tried to kill her many times in the short time they had known each other.
She focused on the TV, watching herself at her birthday party. She smiled softly as she remembered her huge feeling of hope that for once, just once, she'd have a happy birthday. It hadn't lasted long, once Dawn had broken into the magic box and learned who she really was.
Thinking of Dawn, she watched as she climbed out of her bedroom window and shimmied down the drainpipe, only to end up face to face with Spike. What was strange was that Spike was carrying something, but she couldn't quite make out what it was.
"Are you giving Buffy a birthday present?!"
So that was what it was. Buffy couldn't believe how sweet that was.
"You remembered my birthday?"
"Well, yeah. Like I'd forget it."
Buffy grinned, then suddenly realised how weird it was. She was over the moon because *Spike* had bought her a birthday present.
Quickly trying to cover it up, she said, "Dawn's right, you know. Chocolates are a lame present."
*******
Buffy sat up as the new episode started and reach for the video box.
"Okay, so this next episode is called Crush," she said quietly, trying to hide a yawn.
"You tired, luv? Do you wanna stop the tape, watch it tomorrow?"
"No! I wanna watch it."
Buffy tossed the box back onto the floor, and snuggled back down against Spike. As she watched the episode unfold, she smiled at those happier days, when everything had been so much simpler. No Mom that wasn't there, no Watcher that decided to leave, no back from the grave pain, and definitely no weird feelings about Spike.
Buffy brought her thoughts back to the TV with an effort, and watched Harmony trying to seduce Spike.
"Don't you want to come in and. tire me out?"
"Why did you ever go out with such a slut?" Buffy asked, absolutely disgusted with what Harmony was doing.
Spike just ignored her question, and daringly pulled her closer.
"Well. . . I don't know. . . maybe play a game?"
Buffy leapt up from Spike's lap as she saw what "game" they had decided to play.
"You got her to dress up as me?!"
"What makes you think it was meant to be you?"
"The clothes, the stake, the "I'm gonna slay you"," Buffy started, trailing off as she heard the next line.
"I'm going to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen. . ."
"And of course there's that."
*******
Buffy frowned as she watched Dawn come into Spike's crypt. There was so much that was wrong with her little sister hanging out in the crypt of an evil vampire. Then again, she thought guiltily, there was so much wrong with a Slayer snuggled up with an evil vampire, watching TV.
She watched in disgust as Spike lit a cigarette.
"Oh my God! You smoked in front of Dawn? Do you know what a bad influence that could of had on her?!"
Spike looked sceptical. "Luv, do you really think me *smoking* in front of Dawn is a bad influence?" When Buffy frowned at him he added, "Cos your right, o' course. I mean, me smoking in front of her could possibly be the worst thing I've ever done when she's around. I've never attacked someone, or drank blood, or told her terrible stories of things that I did before I got chipped. Yep, you're right. Me smoking in front of her is *terrible*!"
Buffy hit him playfully on the arm, and pulled a really pouty face. "Don't be mean. I just meant. . ."
"I know what you meant, luv. I was just joking. And if you hit me again I'll be forced to tickle you."
"I feel safe with you."
Buffy burst out laughing when she saw his reaction to that. "Aw, poor Spile. Did Dawnie hurt your precious Baddie feelings?"
"Shut up."
*******
Buffy had watched almost half the episode now, and she felt almost sorry for Spike over they way she had treated him. If he'd treated her like that she'd have probably staked him there and then. Now she watched Spike and Drusilla patrol the Bronze, and it made her sick to her stomach when she realised what he was going to do there.
She glanced sideways at Spike and saw his guilty face as he and Dru climbed the stairs to the balcony. She then watched in horror as Dru approached one couple, snapped the neck of the girl, and tossed her casually to Spike.
"Um, I need to. . . um, get a drink," Spike said hurriedly, and quickly but carefully moved Buffy away from him and walked into the kitchen.
That made Buffy feel even more sick. She didn't know quite why she was so shocked by what she knew was about to happen though. She knew Spike was killer. She guessed she had just forgotten that. Or maybe she had just wanted to forget.
She watched the TV in disbelief as Dru bit the guy, and waited for Spike to bite the girl. And waited. Why wasn't he biting her? He could, now she was dead. So why wasn't he? Then she saw the expression on his face. It wasn't a look of pleasure. It was a look of pain. He was standing there, with every opportunity to revert to his old ways. But he wasn't taking it. She watched as he closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, then took a bite. And why had he bitten that girl then? Buffy knew the answer. It was because of her. She had blown him off, made him feel evil, so that's what he had decided to be.
Spike edged back into the room, looking guilty, and sat back down on the other end of the couch from Buffy.
"Oh my god," she whispered, looking at Spike wide-eyed, as though seeing him for the first time.
"Look, Slayer, I'm sorry, okay."
"You're sorry?" Buffy asked in disbelief. She had never realised it before, but did normal vampires say sorry? Did they? Yet she'd heard one particular vampire say it so many times it was unbelievable.
"I know those words don't seem to seem to mean much, but I mean it. Look, I was confused. And I just. . ."
But Buffy stopped him with a finger carefully placed over his lips.
"Shhh. Don't worry about it," she said softly. "That look on your face said it all."
Spike looked confused at that, then became even more confused when she proceeded to lean towards him and give him a very sweet kiss on the lips. Then she put her head back onto his lap, and turned to watch the rest of the episode.
"You had a brain transplant, pet?"
"You could say that," she said with a giggle, leaving Spike to ponder what had just happened.
*******
That episode had finished, leaving Buffy feeling very bad about how she had treated Spike, yet she still didn't want to move. She just wanted to stay there forever. And besides, it wasn't *that* late. Well, not for a Slayer, anyway. And definitely not for a vampire.
"Right, luv. I'd better be going."
Buffy sat up suddenly. "Why?"
"Well, it's late. And you'll be needing your beauty sleep."
"It's not that late. And besides, there's only one more episode on the tape." Spike looked doubtful. "Oh, come on, Spike! It's not like you've got anything better to do!"
Spike looked indignant. "I do too! I have loads of things to do that are better than this!"
"Such as?"
"Fine then. I'll stay. But just for one more episode. Then I'm going."
Buffy grinned at her victory, then settled back down against Spike's shoulder.
*******
The episode had nearly finished, and Buffy decided that that was one of the best episodes she had seen so far. The best part had been watching Spike's oh-so-indignant face when he saw how happy she had been that April had thrown him through a window.
Now she watched herself coming home from fighting April, and look around for her Mom. She let out a little gasp as she saw her Mom lying dead in the background, and watched in horror as the TV version of her spotted her Mom as well.
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as the episode ended, and Buffy could do nothing but stare at the screen.
"Buffy. . ."
"Put in the next tape," she said quietly, her eyes not moving from the credits as she spoke.
"But. . ."
"PUT IT IN!" she screamed.
Spike carefully ejected the tape, and put in the next one. He did not, however, press play. Instead, he looked at Buffy with concern.
"Are you sure about this, luv?"
"Play it." Spike obliged, and then slowly walked back to the couch as the episode started.
*******
A/N I found this chapter really hard to write, so please review to tell me what you think of it. I know I promised an extra-long chapter, but I've decided to split it up a bit instead. I've already started to write the next chapter, so it should be out really soon. If not, you can all plague me with angry emails. Oh, one last thought. "She'll tell you. Someday, she'll tell you." Can I just say - wow! Can't wait for that one! Why did Cassie have to die though? She was so cool! I hope she tells him "I love you." Or "I forgive you." Or even "Your duster's in the closet. You can have it back if you want." I really miss that coat : )
A/N: I am soooo sorry this is out so late, but every single teacher has decided to give us tests and essays and all sorts at the moment. What with doing my geography DME, writing essays on the Russian Revolution, struggling with Food coursework and trying to learn lines for the play I'm in, I've found it hard to find time to write. I've finished all that though, and half-term is next week, so expect lots of updates then : )
********
Buffy lay curled up on the couch, her head on Spike's lap. She glanced at the clock, and was amazed by how much time had gone by. It was almost midnight, but she didn't feel like stopping yet. Willow and Dawn were both already in bed, and it was strangely comforting to lie there with Spike, even if Spike had tried to kill her many times in the short time they had known each other.
She focused on the TV, watching herself at her birthday party. She smiled softly as she remembered her huge feeling of hope that for once, just once, she'd have a happy birthday. It hadn't lasted long, once Dawn had broken into the magic box and learned who she really was.
Thinking of Dawn, she watched as she climbed out of her bedroom window and shimmied down the drainpipe, only to end up face to face with Spike. What was strange was that Spike was carrying something, but she couldn't quite make out what it was.
"Are you giving Buffy a birthday present?!"
So that was what it was. Buffy couldn't believe how sweet that was.
"You remembered my birthday?"
"Well, yeah. Like I'd forget it."
Buffy grinned, then suddenly realised how weird it was. She was over the moon because *Spike* had bought her a birthday present.
Quickly trying to cover it up, she said, "Dawn's right, you know. Chocolates are a lame present."
*******
Buffy sat up as the new episode started and reach for the video box.
"Okay, so this next episode is called Crush," she said quietly, trying to hide a yawn.
"You tired, luv? Do you wanna stop the tape, watch it tomorrow?"
"No! I wanna watch it."
Buffy tossed the box back onto the floor, and snuggled back down against Spike. As she watched the episode unfold, she smiled at those happier days, when everything had been so much simpler. No Mom that wasn't there, no Watcher that decided to leave, no back from the grave pain, and definitely no weird feelings about Spike.
Buffy brought her thoughts back to the TV with an effort, and watched Harmony trying to seduce Spike.
"Don't you want to come in and. tire me out?"
"Why did you ever go out with such a slut?" Buffy asked, absolutely disgusted with what Harmony was doing.
Spike just ignored her question, and daringly pulled her closer.
"Well. . . I don't know. . . maybe play a game?"
Buffy leapt up from Spike's lap as she saw what "game" they had decided to play.
"You got her to dress up as me?!"
"What makes you think it was meant to be you?"
"The clothes, the stake, the "I'm gonna slay you"," Buffy started, trailing off as she heard the next line.
"I'm going to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen. . ."
"And of course there's that."
*******
Buffy frowned as she watched Dawn come into Spike's crypt. There was so much that was wrong with her little sister hanging out in the crypt of an evil vampire. Then again, she thought guiltily, there was so much wrong with a Slayer snuggled up with an evil vampire, watching TV.
She watched in disgust as Spike lit a cigarette.
"Oh my God! You smoked in front of Dawn? Do you know what a bad influence that could of had on her?!"
Spike looked sceptical. "Luv, do you really think me *smoking* in front of Dawn is a bad influence?" When Buffy frowned at him he added, "Cos your right, o' course. I mean, me smoking in front of her could possibly be the worst thing I've ever done when she's around. I've never attacked someone, or drank blood, or told her terrible stories of things that I did before I got chipped. Yep, you're right. Me smoking in front of her is *terrible*!"
Buffy hit him playfully on the arm, and pulled a really pouty face. "Don't be mean. I just meant. . ."
"I know what you meant, luv. I was just joking. And if you hit me again I'll be forced to tickle you."
"I feel safe with you."
Buffy burst out laughing when she saw his reaction to that. "Aw, poor Spile. Did Dawnie hurt your precious Baddie feelings?"
"Shut up."
*******
Buffy had watched almost half the episode now, and she felt almost sorry for Spike over they way she had treated him. If he'd treated her like that she'd have probably staked him there and then. Now she watched Spike and Drusilla patrol the Bronze, and it made her sick to her stomach when she realised what he was going to do there.
She glanced sideways at Spike and saw his guilty face as he and Dru climbed the stairs to the balcony. She then watched in horror as Dru approached one couple, snapped the neck of the girl, and tossed her casually to Spike.
"Um, I need to. . . um, get a drink," Spike said hurriedly, and quickly but carefully moved Buffy away from him and walked into the kitchen.
That made Buffy feel even more sick. She didn't know quite why she was so shocked by what she knew was about to happen though. She knew Spike was killer. She guessed she had just forgotten that. Or maybe she had just wanted to forget.
She watched the TV in disbelief as Dru bit the guy, and waited for Spike to bite the girl. And waited. Why wasn't he biting her? He could, now she was dead. So why wasn't he? Then she saw the expression on his face. It wasn't a look of pleasure. It was a look of pain. He was standing there, with every opportunity to revert to his old ways. But he wasn't taking it. She watched as he closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, then took a bite. And why had he bitten that girl then? Buffy knew the answer. It was because of her. She had blown him off, made him feel evil, so that's what he had decided to be.
Spike edged back into the room, looking guilty, and sat back down on the other end of the couch from Buffy.
"Oh my god," she whispered, looking at Spike wide-eyed, as though seeing him for the first time.
"Look, Slayer, I'm sorry, okay."
"You're sorry?" Buffy asked in disbelief. She had never realised it before, but did normal vampires say sorry? Did they? Yet she'd heard one particular vampire say it so many times it was unbelievable.
"I know those words don't seem to seem to mean much, but I mean it. Look, I was confused. And I just. . ."
But Buffy stopped him with a finger carefully placed over his lips.
"Shhh. Don't worry about it," she said softly. "That look on your face said it all."
Spike looked confused at that, then became even more confused when she proceeded to lean towards him and give him a very sweet kiss on the lips. Then she put her head back onto his lap, and turned to watch the rest of the episode.
"You had a brain transplant, pet?"
"You could say that," she said with a giggle, leaving Spike to ponder what had just happened.
*******
That episode had finished, leaving Buffy feeling very bad about how she had treated Spike, yet she still didn't want to move. She just wanted to stay there forever. And besides, it wasn't *that* late. Well, not for a Slayer, anyway. And definitely not for a vampire.
"Right, luv. I'd better be going."
Buffy sat up suddenly. "Why?"
"Well, it's late. And you'll be needing your beauty sleep."
"It's not that late. And besides, there's only one more episode on the tape." Spike looked doubtful. "Oh, come on, Spike! It's not like you've got anything better to do!"
Spike looked indignant. "I do too! I have loads of things to do that are better than this!"
"Such as?"
"Fine then. I'll stay. But just for one more episode. Then I'm going."
Buffy grinned at her victory, then settled back down against Spike's shoulder.
*******
The episode had nearly finished, and Buffy decided that that was one of the best episodes she had seen so far. The best part had been watching Spike's oh-so-indignant face when he saw how happy she had been that April had thrown him through a window.
Now she watched herself coming home from fighting April, and look around for her Mom. She let out a little gasp as she saw her Mom lying dead in the background, and watched in horror as the TV version of her spotted her Mom as well.
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as the episode ended, and Buffy could do nothing but stare at the screen.
"Buffy. . ."
"Put in the next tape," she said quietly, her eyes not moving from the credits as she spoke.
"But. . ."
"PUT IT IN!" she screamed.
Spike carefully ejected the tape, and put in the next one. He did not, however, press play. Instead, he looked at Buffy with concern.
"Are you sure about this, luv?"
"Play it." Spike obliged, and then slowly walked back to the couch as the episode started.
*******
A/N I found this chapter really hard to write, so please review to tell me what you think of it. I know I promised an extra-long chapter, but I've decided to split it up a bit instead. I've already started to write the next chapter, so it should be out really soon. If not, you can all plague me with angry emails. Oh, one last thought. "She'll tell you. Someday, she'll tell you." Can I just say - wow! Can't wait for that one! Why did Cassie have to die though? She was so cool! I hope she tells him "I love you." Or "I forgive you." Or even "Your duster's in the closet. You can have it back if you want." I really miss that coat : )
