A/N: A few things I have to say about the last chapter. Firstly, I'm sorry for rubbish (or non-existent) descriptions of the Mohra demon. I've never seen I Will Remember You as I'm a fairly new Buffy fan (I only started watching this time last year) and I've been using a transcript for this story, and it's not very helpful when it comes to descriptions. Also, really sorry for another late chapter, but I've been busy writing a script for some competition I REALLY want to win (I came second last year, next year I'll be too old), so that's taken up most of my time. Anyway here it is : )

**********

Buffy tiptoed into the house, and looked about. Everything was quiet, so she assumed Dawn had gone to bed. She quietly motioned for Spike to come in, and walked through into the living room. Spike settled down on the couch as she turned on the light and searched about for the video box.

"Aren't you gonna call Red, luv?"

She stopped her search to look at Spike. "Why?"

"Well, you've just been to fight some meg demon. I'm guessing she'll be fretting about you."

"Oh, right." Buffy stood up, and headed out towards the phone. "Look for the videos while I'm gone, will you?"

She picked up the receiver, and quickly dialled the number of the Magic Box. She let in ring a few hundred times before giving up. Hanging up, she wandered back into the living room.

"That was quick, luv," Spike said as he pushed the video into the machine.

"No answer. Maybe they all gave up on waiting and went to bed. It is pretty late."

She sat herself down on the couch and waited for Spike to start the video. After a moment she said "Come on, Spike! We don't have all night!"

"I'm coming, Slayer." He pressed play, then scrambled back across the room to sit down next to Buffy. She watched forlornly as the episode started, remembering what had happened in the last episode. Her Mom had died, and she was guessing this episode wasn't going to be laughs a plenty either.

She fought back the tears as she watched herself prepare for the funeral. She didn't want to appear weak in front of Spike, and bursting in to tears, again, would definitely make her seem a bit pathetic.

She was relieved when the tape stopped showing her, and instead went to Willow and Xander standing on her front porch. She watched as they dawdled down the path, talking quietly, and bumped into Spike. She let out a little gasp when she saw what Spike was holding. In his hand was a small bunch of flowers.

"You've got be kidding"

"I'm not going inside"

Buffy look at the screen in disbelief. "They never told me you left flowers."

"Not surprised, luv. Xander probably burnt the things."

"Joyce was the only one of the lot of you I could stand"

"And the only one with a daughter you wanted to shag. I'm touched."

"For the record, luv, I brought them because. . ."

But Buffy put up a silencing hand as she watched the screen intently.

"I liked the lady"

Buffy turned to Spike, her eyes brimming with tears. "You really liked my Mom?"

"Course I did, pet. She was always nice to me. Treated me like a person, instead of a thing. And she always made me a cup when I was a bit down. A nicer lady you couldn't meet."

Buffy grinned up at him, even though she still felt a bit unsure. She knew Spike was a damn good actor, and she still wasn't sure if he was lying. She watched Spike give up, toss the flowers on the floor and storm off. Willow leaned forward and picked them up of the floor, looked at them for a moment, then said something that made Buffy re-assess everything.

"He didn't leave a card."

Her tears now falling freely, she turned to look at Spike once more. "You bought my Mom flowers, and you didn't even leave a card?"

Spike nodded slowly, looking down at his lap. Buffy leaned forward and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "You are so sweet."

*******

Buffy sat snuggled against Spike's side, as though he could protect her from the images of her mother's funeral. It was as though she was reliving it, and she almost wanted to fast forward it, skip it all as though it never happened.

"I wish I could've been there for you, luv."

"Yeah, well I doubt I would've wanted you there. Not then, anyway." She glanced up at Spike, and he caught a glimpse of her tear-streaked face. "I'm glad you're here now, though. I don't think I could've got through watching this without you."

"We can stop it, if you want."

"No. I have to watch it. I need to."

Buffy pressed herself closer to Spike, and he carefully wrapped his arms around her. She could get through this. She knew she could.

She realised too late what was going to come next. She felt Spike stiffen in shock as he saw Angel come onto the screen.

"You never told me he came," Spike said quietly, sounding hurt.

"I never told anybody. It was too painful to talk about it." Spike nodded silently, but Buffy could still sense the hurt he was feeling. The hurt, and the betrayal.

*******

Buffy watched sadly as Dawn lay in Willow and Tara's dorm room. She had been so wrapped up in her own pain that she hadn't even noticed that of her sisters. And how had that worked out? Dawn had tried to raise her Mom from the dead, and that never ended well. She knew that first-hand. She was still wondering how Dawn had known how to do it in the first place.

She jumped with shock as she saw Willow raise a finger and magically pull a book out of the shelf for Dawn to read.

"I can't believe her! I can't believe she helped Dawn raise my Mom! Doesn't she realise how dangerous that was?"

Spike went stiff, and didn't reply, but Buffy just assumed that was because he was marvelling at how irresponsible Willow had been. She sure was.

She watched Dawn gather the ingredients at the Magic Box, then go to Joyce's grave and start to gather dirt.

"I hope it's just dirt you're after. If the spell calls for anything else, you're into zombie territory, and that's bad news."

"What?!" Buffy looked at Spike in disbelief. "Why didn't you stop her?"

Spike wriggled uncomfortably, and couldn't look her in the eye as he answered. "I was trying. I wanted to make sure what she was doing was safe first, is all. If she was getting something other than soil, then I would've known I'd have to stop her quicker."

Buffy had rarely heard Spike babble before, and that meant he was nervous. Something wasn't right.

"I'm not here to tell, Little Bit. I'm here to help."

"You HELPED her?!"

Spike wriggled even more then, and looked away. "I just, didn't like you two being so sad. That's all it was. Look, I'm sorry, but I just thought. . ."

"Shut up." Buffy pushed herself away from Spike, feeling betrayed. He had helped her little sister perform some really dark magic. She just couldn't believe it.

******

The episode ended, and Buffy remained at the opposite end of the couch from Spike. He had tried to comfort he at the end of the episode, tried to say something to stop her tears as she watched herself and Dawn fight, and then collapse, crying into each others arms, but she had shoved him away. She didn't want him to comfort her. She didn't want him to apologise. She just wanted him to go away.

She knew he wasn't going to go, though. He wanted to see the next episode as much as she did, and besides, there was no way he was going while she was still mad at him.

*******

Buffy stared in disgust as Spike "fought" the BuffyBot on the screen. She knew all about the BuffyBot and what Spike had programmed her for, but it was still gross to watch. Spike couldn't meet her eyes, and she was glad. She didn't want to so much as look at that pig.

She was even more disgusted, however, later on when she saw her friends meet the BuffyBot. How could they not tell her apart from that *thing*. It made her feel sick.

But the worst part was her friends' reactions when they thought she had slept with Spike. They were all feeling varying degrees of shock and disgust, and it hurt Buffy to realise that if they found out about what had almost happened between her and Spike, they would all be just as disgusted with her then.

She felt happier when Xander went to Spike's crypt to yell at him. It was nice to know that, even after all that had happened, he would still defend her. And she was glad he was defending her from Spike. She felt she needed defending, not just from Spike, but from her own conflicting feelings. She just didn't know what to think at the moment. Everything was so screwed up. She just wished something would happen, or that there would be as sign, just something to show her what to think, what to do.

*******

She watched sadly as Glory tortured Spike. She had been so sure he would tell Glory everything about Dawn, but instead he had take her beating. He was standing there, bleeding, in serious pain, and he hadn't breathed a word to her. Not a word.

"I'll tell you who the sodding key is."

Buffy stood up from the couch, staring at the screen in total disbelief now. She had thought he had kept quiet. She had thought he had been brave, been everything a vampire wasn't supposed to be. Instead, he had told Glory it all, and had lied about it.

"Buffy. . ."

"Don't say anything. I don't want to hear it."

She watched the screen, willing it to show Spike once more. When it finally did, she listened intently, barely daring to breathe.

"It's that guy, on TV. What's his name? On that show, the price show, where they guess what stuff costs."

"You told her that the Key was Bob Barker?" She said, half laughing, half crying with relief. He hadn't told her at all. He had lied to her. She didn't think she had ever felt this relieved before.

"Yeah. He bugs me a bit. Thought it'd be good if she polished him off."

"Guess what, bitch. I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding Key."

Buffy collapsed on the couch, tears now streaming down her face.

"What's wrong, pet?"

Buffy tried to answer, but a new wave of tears streamed down her face and all she could do was let out a little gasp.

"Look, I'm sorry, luv. I didn't realised Bob Barker meant so much to you."

"No! I'm not crying about Bob Barker, you idiot," she said between sobs. "I'm crying because you didn't tell her."

"I don't get your meaning, luv."

"She tortured you for hours, and all you had to do to make her stop was tell her who the Key was. But you didn't. And when I went to Glory's, I went to kill you, because I knew, I *knew* that you would've told her. I was such a bitch to you, and all you did to deserve it was love me." She fell against Spike's side, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Don't fuss about it. I didn't mind. As long as you were happy, I didn't mind."

"But I wasn't happy. I treated you like an animal, even after that. I was so horrible to you. And you still put up with it."

*******

Spike had eventually convinced Buffy to calm down, and they had watched the rest of the tape together. To Buffy, it was like she was seeing Spike in a new light as she watched. For the first time, she was seeing just how caring he was towards her and Dawn, and just how much he did for them.

Now they were nearing the end of the last episode on the last tape of this box set, "The Gift."

She watched as Spike charged up to the top of the tower. This she didn't know about. She'd never heard about her friend's part of what had happened, and she certainly hadn't heard anything about Spike climbing the tower to help.

She stared intently at the screen as Spike charged at the Doc, trying to get him away from Dawn, and let out a scream as he was stabbed in the gut. Expecting him to leave it be then, she was amazed when he spun around, putting himself between the Doc and Dawn.

"You don't come near the girl, Doc."

"You still defended her."

"What was that, luv?"

"He stabbed you, but you still defended her."

"I promised you, luv. I told you I'd protect her to the end of the world. I don't make promises I don't mean to keep."

"You used to."

"I don't to you, though."

"I don't smell a soul anywhere on you. Why do you even care?"

Buffy was reminded once again of his lacking in the soul department. He didn't have a soul, but he still cared. He still defended Dawn. He still loved her.

"I made a promise to a lady"

He still kept his promise.

Buffy was suddenly hit with a thought, but it wasn't a very comforting one. If Spike had defended Dawn, where had he been when she had climbed the tower herself? She almost didn't want to know the answer.

She gasped as Doc tripped Spike, and held him to the edge.

"I'll send the lady your regrets."

"NO!" Buffy screamed as Doc pushed Spike off the edge.

"I'm sorry."

Buffy turned to him, wide eyed.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I broke my promise. I said I'd protect her. But I failed. I should've protected her. If I'd done that, you wouldn't have died. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be."

Buffy looked into his eyes and felt it. This was it. This was her sign, the thing to tell her what she needed to do. She had been so confused before, but now it was as clear as day. She carefully leaned forwards and kissed Spike gently on the lips.

He pulled back, and looked at her confused. "What are you doing?"

"Making my choice."

*******

A/N: I found this chapter very hard to write, so please review and tell me how I did. Then, read the next chapter. : ) See, aren't I good, posting two chapters at once? The next one's a bit of a fluffy, silly chapter, but I need it to help me recover from Sleeper. Man, that was a good episode. Poor Spike. I'm guessing that weird song's important, you know the one that Morphy Spike kept singing, and that was played on the harmonica. Anyway, please read and review!