A/N: Thanks for all your reviews for the last chapter. Then again, I've put
this up on the same day, so there haven't been many. . . but you can make
up for that, can't you *hint**hint* lol. I did say I was going to update
fast now! = )
**********
Buffy continued to munch on her popcorn as the opening credits for the next episode rolled. She really hated the last picture of her, the one which had the words "created by Joss Whedon" underneath. First of all, it was an awful picture. It made her look kind of possessed. Or like she was being hanged. Or like she was being hanged while possessed. And secondly, she really hated this Joss Whedon guy. If he was the one who was taking credit for all the pain in her life, he deserved to die.
As the scrolling credits came on, Buffy read the name of the writer and let out a moan of disgust.
"What is it, luv?"
"That writer. Marti Noxon, or whatever she's called. She wrote this episode. I hate her!"
"Have you ever even met her?"
Buffy wriggled uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, no, but I hate her even so!"
"Is this the point where I'm supposed to act all interested and ask why?" Buffy nodded in confirmation. Spike sighed. "Alright, luv. Why do you hate this bird?"
"Because, that's why! Every single episode I've seen with her as the 'writer' has had something horrible happening to me. No jokes or happy moments, just horrible, horrible things! And as she's the one who's credited for the times that were so unhappy, she's the one I'm blaming."
Spike seemed unmoved by her speech, however. "Isn't that the same thing you've told me *repeatedly* about this Whedon bloke?"
Buffy blushed, and grabbed another fistful of popcorn. "Yeah, well, I'm blaming him as well!"
Spike shook his head, and muttered something that sounded to Buffy something very much like 'women'.
"What was that Spike?"
"Nothing, luv."
They both turned their attention back to the TV, where they were having yet another argument.
"Is this what this is about? Doing a Slayer?"
"Well, I wouldn't throw stones, pet. You seem to be quite the groupie yourself."
Now that was harsh. Buffy shot a steely glare in the direction of Spike. He was going to pay for that one. Or at least he would, when he actually said it. She frowned. All this 'in the future' stuff was making her head hurt.
"You're just. . . you're just convenient."
Ouch. Buffy winced at that statement, and by the feel of Spike, he did too. Since when did she become such a bitch? If that Marti person had something to do with it. . .
She turned and put a comforting hand on Spike's arm.
"You know I don't mean it, right Spike?" she said quietly. "I just. . . well, you know, I get upset sometimes, and I say things, and. . ."
"Don't fuss yourself, luv. It's not like I never say stuff I don't mean when I'm all hot and bothered."
Buffy smiled, and snuggled back against Spike's chest. She didn't want Spike taking offence from what she said. She would never hear the end of it.
"You're gonna want these, too."
"What is with you and underwear, Spike. Just tell me that."
Spike just smirked at her.
*******
"I know this guy ... and he knows spells that last for days. And the burnout factor is like, nothing."
"Really? He's a warlock?"
"I guess. Look, I am not kidding you. This guy ... will blow your mind. He will take you to places that you can't even imagine."
Buffy frowned as she heard this. What was Willow getting into? It sounded bad, whatever it was. She always knew Amy was trouble, right from day one. She made a mental note to put rat poison in her water bottle next time Willow got her to clean her cage out. That would mean no trouble for Willow in the future, and no more cage cleaning for Buffy. She grinned. Two birds, one stone. . . not a bad plan.
Pushing these thoughts from her mind, she leaned forward slightly, staring intently at the screen, wondering what Willow was going to do. Then they walked into the horrible, tacky hidden place that they were going to, and Buffy burst out laughing.
"What now, luv."
"Oh my god! Can you say 'unsubtle metaphor'? You can so tell where they're going to go with this!" she said, tossing a few pieces of popcorn in the air and trying to catch them in her mouth.
"Aren't you concerned about Red?"
"She can take care of herself."
"Buffy, that's Rack's place. He does some seriously dangerous stuff."
"Yeah, but none of this has actually happened yet. I can still stop her." Buffy shrugged away any concern she had for Willow, and continued to catch popcorn in her mouth.
"Buffy. . ."
"Don't talk to me right now, Spike. I'm busy."
"Busy doing what? Tossing popcorn?"
"Yeah, actually! It needs a lot of concentration."
"Right!" Spike scoffed, looking disgustedly at her as she continued with her sport. "I could do it with me eyes closed."
"Prove it then!" Buffy shoved the huge tub of popcorn into his hands, then folded her arms across her chest, and waited.
Spike picked a small piece of corn from the tub, threw his head back, tossed it in the air, and winced as it bounced off his nose.
"Ow!" He said, rubbing his sore spot, as Buffy burst out laughing.
"See? Not so easy!"
"It were a fluke! Give us another one, and this time I'll do it easily."
"No way," Buffy said, yanking the tub out of his hands. "You're not wasting the rest of my popcorn!"
She turned back to the screen to see Willow and Amy still at Rack's place, both high on magic. She giggled as Amy started spinning faster and faster under Rack's control.
"I'm spinning around, move out of my way! I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this!" she sang, the tune being lost completely under her endless giggles.
"What is wrong with you today, luv." Spike said, frowning at her strange outburst. Buffy giggled again, blushed and hiding her head like a schoolgirl caught talking in her first grade maths lesson. He frowned as he tried to put two and two together. Giddy Buffy always meant. . .
"Buffy, are you drunk?"
"No," she said, in a tone that definitely meant yes.
"What have you been drinking?"
"Nothing!" Buffy blushed, and held out her now empty mug with a grin. "I put rum in my hot chocolate!"
"And now you're mega drunk?"
"Not mega drunk. Just. . . a lot drunk. Why, aren't you having fun?"
"Course I am pet. I'm with you, aren't I?"
Buffy giggled again.
"Just please, for the sake of us all, no more singing."
Buffy put on her best pout, hoping he'd 'try and get it', like he did all those years ago, but he'd already turned his attention back to the TV. Sighing, she turned back to the screen also, thinking of missed opportunities.
*******
"I'll leave a note for Buffy on the refrigerator. That's the first place she goes after patrolling. She's such a pig after she kills things."
"Hey!" Buffy said, indignantly. "I am so not a pig! I mean, I can't even do a good pig impression. I sort of make this weird snorting noise in the back of my throat when I try and. . ."
"Are you always this gobby when you're drunk?"
Buffy hit him lightly on the air, and then added, "Besides, it's like Faith always said. 'Slaying makes you hungry and horny.'"
Spike smirked at her. "I'll have to remember that."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, and carried on munching on her popcorn. The endless munching was starting to get on Spike's nerves. He'd have to remember to give her something else to eat next time. Maybe a milkshake. He mentally shook his head at the thought. Over an hour of listening to Buffy make weird little sucking noises? Not when he was trying to watch the telly.
*******
Buffy watched with disgust as Willow made Dawn wait in the waiting room as while she got high on magic. Which, by the way, high on magic? Who came up with that lame idea? She mentally slapped herself. She was thinking like this was just a TV show that somebody created, instead of real life. Maybe she'd been hanging round Spike too long. *He* always acted like all TV was really, so maybe she'd started instinctively doing the opposite.
Spike frowned at the screen, seemingly more worried about Dawn than Buffy was. "What's she doing, taking The Bit there? Can't she see it's dangerous? She's left the poor thing out in the waiting room with all those addict guys while she's getting all high in a bubble!"
Buffy giggled at Spike's outburst. He always was kind of protective of Dawn. It was sweet when she thought about it. The thing that made her giggle even more, though, was the image she was now seeing, of Willow seemingly zooming through the stars. She couldn't resist, she really couldn't.
"And now we're flying through the stars, hope this night will last forever!" she sang.
"Very nice, luv," Spike said, still endlessly fretting about Dawn. "And what did we say about singing?"
******
"There's some guy named Rack."
"I know who he is, he deals in magic. Black stuff, dangerous."
"Hey!" Buffy said, suddenly realising something. "If you knew who Rack was, why didn't you tell me before?"
"I would've done," Spike said with a smirk, "but you were so busy singing I never got the chance."
Buffy turned back to the TV, and gasped as a very naked Spike stood up from the bed. *Move the camera a little lower,* she willed the screen, but the shot didn't change. She's just have to make do with memory then.
"Hello, salty goodness. . ." she muttered under her breath, so quiet she could barely hear it herself.
"What was that, pet?"
"Uh, nothing!"
"Vampire hearing, remember? I know exactly what you said. Then again, I haven't seen myself in over a hundred years, and I have to admit, I look hot."
"Talk about having an ego as big as. . ." Buffy searched for the word inside her head. "As big as. . . other parts of you."
"Hmm, so how big an ego are we talking?"
"Oh, big. The biggest out of all the people I've ever met!" She sat back, hoping she'd done a good job in humbling him a big, but then she noticed his self-satisfied smirk, and realised what she had said, and what she'd compared it to before.
She blushed crimson.
********
Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes as she saw a shot of Willow in bed, obviously going into withdrawal.
"Oh, puh-lease," she said, disgusted. "Can you say 'drug addiction'?"
"You have. Many times."
"I just mean, how obvious and lame a metaphor can you get?"
"I know. You told me that the last time you mentioned that." He paused. "And the time before."
"Hey! Don't you make fun of me!" Buffy tossed a handful of popcorn at him. It all got tangled in his hair, making him look hilarious.
She burst into a fit of giggles, but it was abruptly stopped by him throwing a handful back.
Buffy jumped up from the couch, bits of popcorn flying everywhere as she did so. "Oh, you are *so* dead, mister!"
She grabbed the biggest handful she could get, then started pinging each individual piece at him one by one, aiming everywhere she could. And having, Slayer accuracy, every shot was on target. She was stopped, however, when Spike strode forward, snatched the tub from her hands, and emptied it all over her head.
"Spike! Look what you've done!" She got down on her hands and knees, and started picking up each individual piece of popcorn off the floor. "Now it'll all stick to the carpet."
"Well, clean it up quick then."
"Nah." Buffy stood up, and glanced around the popcorn filled room. "I'll just say Dawn did it. Willow can clean it up with a spell, anyway."
Spike raised his eyebrow in that oh-so-sexy way that made Buffy go weak at the knees. "You still letting her do the magics, after watching that."
"Yeah. You see, that was all caused by Amy, and I've got this plan. . . Oh, you wouldn't understand. Let's just say, she won't be a problem." She looked round the room once more. "Anyway, I'm off to bed."
"It's only 11 o'clock. I'd of thought you wouldn't even be tried by now."
"Who said I was going to sleep. Besides, if I'm not tired, you'll have to tire me out, won't you," she said suggestively, before heading off up the stairs. After a moment, Spike followed. ********** A/N: Please review? PLEASE!!!! Luv y'all!
Buffy continued to munch on her popcorn as the opening credits for the next episode rolled. She really hated the last picture of her, the one which had the words "created by Joss Whedon" underneath. First of all, it was an awful picture. It made her look kind of possessed. Or like she was being hanged. Or like she was being hanged while possessed. And secondly, she really hated this Joss Whedon guy. If he was the one who was taking credit for all the pain in her life, he deserved to die.
As the scrolling credits came on, Buffy read the name of the writer and let out a moan of disgust.
"What is it, luv?"
"That writer. Marti Noxon, or whatever she's called. She wrote this episode. I hate her!"
"Have you ever even met her?"
Buffy wriggled uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, no, but I hate her even so!"
"Is this the point where I'm supposed to act all interested and ask why?" Buffy nodded in confirmation. Spike sighed. "Alright, luv. Why do you hate this bird?"
"Because, that's why! Every single episode I've seen with her as the 'writer' has had something horrible happening to me. No jokes or happy moments, just horrible, horrible things! And as she's the one who's credited for the times that were so unhappy, she's the one I'm blaming."
Spike seemed unmoved by her speech, however. "Isn't that the same thing you've told me *repeatedly* about this Whedon bloke?"
Buffy blushed, and grabbed another fistful of popcorn. "Yeah, well, I'm blaming him as well!"
Spike shook his head, and muttered something that sounded to Buffy something very much like 'women'.
"What was that Spike?"
"Nothing, luv."
They both turned their attention back to the TV, where they were having yet another argument.
"Is this what this is about? Doing a Slayer?"
"Well, I wouldn't throw stones, pet. You seem to be quite the groupie yourself."
Now that was harsh. Buffy shot a steely glare in the direction of Spike. He was going to pay for that one. Or at least he would, when he actually said it. She frowned. All this 'in the future' stuff was making her head hurt.
"You're just. . . you're just convenient."
Ouch. Buffy winced at that statement, and by the feel of Spike, he did too. Since when did she become such a bitch? If that Marti person had something to do with it. . .
She turned and put a comforting hand on Spike's arm.
"You know I don't mean it, right Spike?" she said quietly. "I just. . . well, you know, I get upset sometimes, and I say things, and. . ."
"Don't fuss yourself, luv. It's not like I never say stuff I don't mean when I'm all hot and bothered."
Buffy smiled, and snuggled back against Spike's chest. She didn't want Spike taking offence from what she said. She would never hear the end of it.
"You're gonna want these, too."
"What is with you and underwear, Spike. Just tell me that."
Spike just smirked at her.
*******
"I know this guy ... and he knows spells that last for days. And the burnout factor is like, nothing."
"Really? He's a warlock?"
"I guess. Look, I am not kidding you. This guy ... will blow your mind. He will take you to places that you can't even imagine."
Buffy frowned as she heard this. What was Willow getting into? It sounded bad, whatever it was. She always knew Amy was trouble, right from day one. She made a mental note to put rat poison in her water bottle next time Willow got her to clean her cage out. That would mean no trouble for Willow in the future, and no more cage cleaning for Buffy. She grinned. Two birds, one stone. . . not a bad plan.
Pushing these thoughts from her mind, she leaned forward slightly, staring intently at the screen, wondering what Willow was going to do. Then they walked into the horrible, tacky hidden place that they were going to, and Buffy burst out laughing.
"What now, luv."
"Oh my god! Can you say 'unsubtle metaphor'? You can so tell where they're going to go with this!" she said, tossing a few pieces of popcorn in the air and trying to catch them in her mouth.
"Aren't you concerned about Red?"
"She can take care of herself."
"Buffy, that's Rack's place. He does some seriously dangerous stuff."
"Yeah, but none of this has actually happened yet. I can still stop her." Buffy shrugged away any concern she had for Willow, and continued to catch popcorn in her mouth.
"Buffy. . ."
"Don't talk to me right now, Spike. I'm busy."
"Busy doing what? Tossing popcorn?"
"Yeah, actually! It needs a lot of concentration."
"Right!" Spike scoffed, looking disgustedly at her as she continued with her sport. "I could do it with me eyes closed."
"Prove it then!" Buffy shoved the huge tub of popcorn into his hands, then folded her arms across her chest, and waited.
Spike picked a small piece of corn from the tub, threw his head back, tossed it in the air, and winced as it bounced off his nose.
"Ow!" He said, rubbing his sore spot, as Buffy burst out laughing.
"See? Not so easy!"
"It were a fluke! Give us another one, and this time I'll do it easily."
"No way," Buffy said, yanking the tub out of his hands. "You're not wasting the rest of my popcorn!"
She turned back to the screen to see Willow and Amy still at Rack's place, both high on magic. She giggled as Amy started spinning faster and faster under Rack's control.
"I'm spinning around, move out of my way! I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this!" she sang, the tune being lost completely under her endless giggles.
"What is wrong with you today, luv." Spike said, frowning at her strange outburst. Buffy giggled again, blushed and hiding her head like a schoolgirl caught talking in her first grade maths lesson. He frowned as he tried to put two and two together. Giddy Buffy always meant. . .
"Buffy, are you drunk?"
"No," she said, in a tone that definitely meant yes.
"What have you been drinking?"
"Nothing!" Buffy blushed, and held out her now empty mug with a grin. "I put rum in my hot chocolate!"
"And now you're mega drunk?"
"Not mega drunk. Just. . . a lot drunk. Why, aren't you having fun?"
"Course I am pet. I'm with you, aren't I?"
Buffy giggled again.
"Just please, for the sake of us all, no more singing."
Buffy put on her best pout, hoping he'd 'try and get it', like he did all those years ago, but he'd already turned his attention back to the TV. Sighing, she turned back to the screen also, thinking of missed opportunities.
*******
"I'll leave a note for Buffy on the refrigerator. That's the first place she goes after patrolling. She's such a pig after she kills things."
"Hey!" Buffy said, indignantly. "I am so not a pig! I mean, I can't even do a good pig impression. I sort of make this weird snorting noise in the back of my throat when I try and. . ."
"Are you always this gobby when you're drunk?"
Buffy hit him lightly on the air, and then added, "Besides, it's like Faith always said. 'Slaying makes you hungry and horny.'"
Spike smirked at her. "I'll have to remember that."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, and carried on munching on her popcorn. The endless munching was starting to get on Spike's nerves. He'd have to remember to give her something else to eat next time. Maybe a milkshake. He mentally shook his head at the thought. Over an hour of listening to Buffy make weird little sucking noises? Not when he was trying to watch the telly.
*******
Buffy watched with disgust as Willow made Dawn wait in the waiting room as while she got high on magic. Which, by the way, high on magic? Who came up with that lame idea? She mentally slapped herself. She was thinking like this was just a TV show that somebody created, instead of real life. Maybe she'd been hanging round Spike too long. *He* always acted like all TV was really, so maybe she'd started instinctively doing the opposite.
Spike frowned at the screen, seemingly more worried about Dawn than Buffy was. "What's she doing, taking The Bit there? Can't she see it's dangerous? She's left the poor thing out in the waiting room with all those addict guys while she's getting all high in a bubble!"
Buffy giggled at Spike's outburst. He always was kind of protective of Dawn. It was sweet when she thought about it. The thing that made her giggle even more, though, was the image she was now seeing, of Willow seemingly zooming through the stars. She couldn't resist, she really couldn't.
"And now we're flying through the stars, hope this night will last forever!" she sang.
"Very nice, luv," Spike said, still endlessly fretting about Dawn. "And what did we say about singing?"
******
"There's some guy named Rack."
"I know who he is, he deals in magic. Black stuff, dangerous."
"Hey!" Buffy said, suddenly realising something. "If you knew who Rack was, why didn't you tell me before?"
"I would've done," Spike said with a smirk, "but you were so busy singing I never got the chance."
Buffy turned back to the TV, and gasped as a very naked Spike stood up from the bed. *Move the camera a little lower,* she willed the screen, but the shot didn't change. She's just have to make do with memory then.
"Hello, salty goodness. . ." she muttered under her breath, so quiet she could barely hear it herself.
"What was that, pet?"
"Uh, nothing!"
"Vampire hearing, remember? I know exactly what you said. Then again, I haven't seen myself in over a hundred years, and I have to admit, I look hot."
"Talk about having an ego as big as. . ." Buffy searched for the word inside her head. "As big as. . . other parts of you."
"Hmm, so how big an ego are we talking?"
"Oh, big. The biggest out of all the people I've ever met!" She sat back, hoping she'd done a good job in humbling him a big, but then she noticed his self-satisfied smirk, and realised what she had said, and what she'd compared it to before.
She blushed crimson.
********
Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes as she saw a shot of Willow in bed, obviously going into withdrawal.
"Oh, puh-lease," she said, disgusted. "Can you say 'drug addiction'?"
"You have. Many times."
"I just mean, how obvious and lame a metaphor can you get?"
"I know. You told me that the last time you mentioned that." He paused. "And the time before."
"Hey! Don't you make fun of me!" Buffy tossed a handful of popcorn at him. It all got tangled in his hair, making him look hilarious.
She burst into a fit of giggles, but it was abruptly stopped by him throwing a handful back.
Buffy jumped up from the couch, bits of popcorn flying everywhere as she did so. "Oh, you are *so* dead, mister!"
She grabbed the biggest handful she could get, then started pinging each individual piece at him one by one, aiming everywhere she could. And having, Slayer accuracy, every shot was on target. She was stopped, however, when Spike strode forward, snatched the tub from her hands, and emptied it all over her head.
"Spike! Look what you've done!" She got down on her hands and knees, and started picking up each individual piece of popcorn off the floor. "Now it'll all stick to the carpet."
"Well, clean it up quick then."
"Nah." Buffy stood up, and glanced around the popcorn filled room. "I'll just say Dawn did it. Willow can clean it up with a spell, anyway."
Spike raised his eyebrow in that oh-so-sexy way that made Buffy go weak at the knees. "You still letting her do the magics, after watching that."
"Yeah. You see, that was all caused by Amy, and I've got this plan. . . Oh, you wouldn't understand. Let's just say, she won't be a problem." She looked round the room once more. "Anyway, I'm off to bed."
"It's only 11 o'clock. I'd of thought you wouldn't even be tried by now."
"Who said I was going to sleep. Besides, if I'm not tired, you'll have to tire me out, won't you," she said suggestively, before heading off up the stairs. After a moment, Spike followed. ********** A/N: Please review? PLEASE!!!! Luv y'all!
