CHAPTER 6

**** 2 years earlier ****

" So what do you think is out here?" Alex asked Josh as they walked away from the truck. Her laughter echoed in the desert night.

" No clue, but I got you." He gave her a kiss. Her hair was a mixture of Isabel and Kyle's. Not completely brown but not exactly blonde. The wind made her hair fly all over the place. Against her face it made her look amazing thought Josh. Her hazel eyes sparkled like the stars in the sky. She laid the blanket down and she sat down looking at him. Following her steps he sat beside her she curled up next to him. She loved to do that and he loved it when she did that. She slowly began to kiss at his neck.

" Alex..." Josh moaned. She laughed as he said her name. He made it sound like poetry, and to everyone's surprise he could be a good poet.

" Yes..." She whispered. Shifting her body weight to move closer to him, she continued to kiss at his neck.

" We might not stop." He warned as she continued.

" Who said I wanted to?" Alex always knew what she wanted, plain and simple. She always went for it too. Josh stopped her though. One thought kept running through his head. " Are we ready?". Alex looked into his eyes, and they told him everything he needed to know. His hands graced her face. She could feel his fingertips shaking at her touch. He felt so warm and so caring to her. No one knew Josh like her, and that's what made it great.

" Make love to me." She whispered. His fingers traced her lips and then he began to kiss her. It was full of heat and passion.

***** End of memory ******

Alex was sitting out on the porch the next morning. " What are you doing up?" Max asked while leaning against the door with coffee in his hands.

" I usually get up around now. I'm not a big sleeper." Alex told him. " What about you?" Alex asked.

" Couldn't sleep." He sat in the chair next to Alex. " You're pretty amazing." Max told her. Alex laughed at that. " You remind me so much of Izzy." Max added.

" Max, if your going to just tell me how I'm like her. I'm going." Alex began to get up.

"Sit. We don't have to talk about her." Max told her. Alex sat back down and looked at him. "Tell me about my son." Max said.

" Which one?" Alex asked.

" Kam." Max told her.

" What do you want to know?" Alex was clueless on what to say to him.

" Is a good guy?" Max eyes looked begging. They just kept reminding her that this was her uncle, Kam's father.

" One of the best I know. He is my best friend." She looked around at the view. It was nice out there. " Are you the only one that gets up early?" She didn't want to face Max so she focused on the sunrise.

" Yeah. Michael and Maria always sleep in and Liz gets up a couple hours after me. It usually gives me peace and quite. The only one of us that gets up early anymore is Iz." Max knew Alex didn't want Isabel's name mention but he didn't care.

" Have to prove your point. He is exactly like you." Alex told him.

" Your pretty determined there yourself. I know your feelings towards Josh are pretty strong. Not many girls your age are in love like that." Max commented.

" Not many girls are aliens." Alex like the expression Max made.

" Okay, that was more Kyle." Max smirked.

" Kam's love for science is a Liz trait." Alex smiled. She enjoyed talking with Max. He gave her that same comfortable feeling she got from Kam. " So you think you understand me pretty well because of some flashes?" Alex asked.

" I felt your emotions. Pretty deep." Max took a sip of his coffee.

" Yeah, what did you see?" She was curious on what he thought he understood.

" Amy's funeral. Josh was pretty upset, so were you and Kam. But this was different for Josh Amy was his grandmother. Even though you were upset you knew he needed you. So you were his support." Max was getting Alex's respect.

" He shut me out though." Alex knew Max didn't expect that.

" Why?" Max didn't get it.

" He had to be a stonewall and losing Amy made him realize he could lose me or Kam. The heartbreak would be to much to lose another person so he shut me out." Alex remembered that day to well

****Amy's Funeral****

" Josh!" Alex screamed at him. Josh was walking out to the desert.

" Go Alex." Josh was so cold.

" Why? You can't just leave when you want, sorry doesn't work that way." Alex stopped him.

" You deserve better, so go. Leave me! I'm giving you an out so take it." Josh screamed at her.

" You think I'm going to take that, your stuck with me." Alex was trying to read him. His eyes would always tell her what she needed to know but he wasn't letting her in.

" You should go." Josh started walking.

" Don't I have a say?" Alex stayed in her spot.

" No!" Josh didn't even turn away to tell her that. She was so frustrated with him. She knew what she had to tell him but she was scared he would reject her.

" I love you!" Alex shouted at him. Josh completely stopped and looked back at her.

" Don't." He told her.

'' Too late." She said. He walked back to her.

" It's not too late. Go now and don't look back. Please just go." Josh begged. It was the first sign of feelings he had towards her.

" You don't get it. You and Kam are all I have left. This" She showed him the picture of all their parents." Means nothing without you. I can't live a day knowing you won't be there. Don't go." She was begging but she didn't care. For once Alex didn't care about begging or crying at that moment. Whatever it took to make him realize that he was her everything she'd do it.

" If I don't go now, I never will." He admitted.

" Good." She replied. " Cause I can't live without you." She confessed.

" I love you." He whispered.

*************************

Alex laughed at the memory." First time Josh ever said 'I love you'."

" Intense." Max told her.

" So what else did you see?" Alex asked.

" I probably shouldn't have seen some of them." Max admitted.

" Oh really. Now you have to tell me. Because if Kam doesn't know I need to keep it that way." Alex grinned.

" Your first time, in the desert." Max said.

" First time in desert?" She didn't get what he was saying. Then it hit her.

" Oh my god. Wait you saw our first time?" Alex couldn't believe that.

" Just bits and pieces." Max could tell by Alex's face that she was embarrassed.

" What else did you see?" Alex couldn't imagine anything worst.

" Well you and Kam joking around. Working with Nicole, meeting Seth. The only other personal one was..." Max kind of stopped.

" Say it." She demanded.

" When you found out you were pregnant." Max spit out.

" God, you had me scared." Alex said.

" Any how yours were pretty good." She mumbled.

" Wait, back up." Max said.

" Nothing to personal. Just maybe well no all-pretty personal. But nothing I figure the other ones don't know." Alex teased.

" What do you think is the worst?" Max asked.

" Tess getting pregnant or when Kam was born." She made it sound as if it was no big deal. "It's when I first realized how hard it was to give that up. Give us up." Alex confessed.

" You did?" Max didn't expect that.

" Yeah, I realized we were loved. It's something we didn't get from who we wanted it from." Alex told him.

" You weren't scared. When you knew you were going to be mother, that didn't scare you. Why is that?" Max asked.

" Because what's to be scared of? I mean Josh and I are able to handle this, what we can't handle is losing our child." Alex said.

" I just... I know what it's like at that age. I was terrified." Max explained.

" But you didn't love Tess. I love Josh with all my heart." Alex reasoned. They heard someone moving around inside and there Michael appeared.

" Maxwell, what are you doing up. It's 8 in the morning." Michael moaned. Alex couldn't hide her laughter.

" Sorry, it's just so, so Josh." Alex continued to laugh. Max smiled at her; she was so full of life. He hoped Kam was that way. They all had forgotten how to smile; maybe their children would bring it out.

" How are you doing?" Michael asked.

" I'm okay. Thanks for asking." Alex could see how much Michael looked like Josh.

" Why aren't you in bed?" Michael asked as he sat down.

" Couldn't sleep, and well I only can lay there for so long." She said. " It's pretty here." Alex commented.

" Maria loves it." Michael told her.

" I'm going to get more coffee." Max went back inside.

" Thank you." Alex said. Michael didn't understand what she was talking about.

" For what?" He didn't understand her. She seemed like Isabel but confusing like Kyle.

" For giving me your son to love." She got a smile out of Michael and she enjoyed that.

" Well thanks for being there for him when I couldn't." Michael said. Alex could spot the uneasiness in Michael's eyes. When Josh was hiding something his eyes did that.

" What are you hiding?" Alex looked at him.

" Nothing." Michael tried to play it off but Alex didn't buy it.

" No, I know that look. What is it?" Alex demanded.

" It's... it's..." Michael tried to say.

" Tell me, now!" Alex was getting mad.

" You need to calm down. It's not safe for you or the baby." Michael told her.

" How would you know if it was bad for the baby. Unless you learned the hard way?" Alex stared him straight in the eye.

" You don't want to go their Alex." Michael warned.

" Yeah, I do. If it involves my child I have every damn right to know!" Alex was furious.

" I do have experience." Michael admitted.

" What happened?" Alex was scared to ask.

" When we first hit the road, Maria got pregnant. Not only of that but they were twins. While giving birth the second one died. The other one we lost about 3 years after." Michael didn't talk about it much.

" Why did the one die during the labour?" Alex asked.

" Maria didn't get enough rest so when they were born Maria was extremely weak." Michael said softly. " You have to be careful." Michael told her.

" Wait, you said the other one was 3 years later. Did you guys keep us at first?" Alex looked at Michael.

" Someone kidnapped her, it's why we gave you three up. Josh was probably a year old. Someone took her and we didn't want to lose you guys to it too. We know what they do, and we were afraid." Michael hid his emotions pretty well.

" Her?" Alex could feel tears coming down but she didn't care.

" They both were girls." Michael whispered.

" Do I have a reason to be scared?" Alex asked. She began to wipe the tears away.

" As long as you keep quiet and resting you should be fine." Michael understood why she was scared.

" Excuse me." Alex headed upstairs to where Josh was sleeping. Josh looked so peaceful. He began to stir in his sleep. He opened his eyes to see Alex standing at the door with tears down her face.

" What's wrong?" Josh sat up as she began to walk to the bed.

" Just hold me." She sobbed. She sat on the side of the bed and Josh propped himself up so she could lie next to him. She rolled over so her face was in his chest as she began to cry. He gently stroked her hair and rubbed her back softly as he felt her hot tears stroke his t-shirt. He kissed her cheek and wiped away some of her tears when she looked up at him. Her eyes were all watery and bloodshot from her crying. It killed him to see her like this.

" What happened?" Josh asked again.

" Tell me we won't lose the baby." Alex eyes pleaded with him.

" Where did you get an idea like that?" Josh didn't get it. She was fine earlier.

" Your mother lost a baby." Alex told him. He sat up.

" Wh-What?" Josh was dumbfounded. Josh went downstairs. Alex tried to call after him but it was no use. " Excuse me, is there something I should know?" When Josh got downstairs he found Max and Michael in the kitchen.

" Josh..." Michael began to say.

" Don't you dare Josh me." Josh's voice was filled with anger.

" Josh, don't." Alex commanded him once she reached the kitchen.

" Alex, not now." Josh eyes begged her to let him at this.

" No, I'm not going to let you do this." Alex was stubborn too. She went up to him and whispered." You need to calm down. Please."

" Josh, I would have told you but it's not easy." Michael told him. Alex hand had Josh's own hand and was squeezing it.

" I had a right to know." Josh said.

" I know." Michael responded. Josh looked at Alex and her face was completely wet from her tears.

" Come on." Josh told Alex. Alex followed.

" You shouldn't have said something." Max told Michael once Alex and Josh left the room.

" If I didn't and something did happen to her. He would hold me responsible. You know it just as well as I." Michael said.

" Yeah, now their worried." Max said.

" But they know to be careful." Michael said.

" What's with all the noise down here?" Maria said coming down the stairs. " What?" Maria looked at the two.

" Josh knows about Belle." Michael admitted.

" Wait-What?" Maria didn't think this situation could get worst. " Max can you excuse us?" Max left right away at Maria's request.

" I had to." Michael tried to explain. Maria sat down in his lap and looked at him.

" I know I just wish I could have been with you." Maria ran her fingers threw his hair. She could see little hairs on his face from not shaving.

" Actually I told Alex, and she freaked. And went told Josh." Michael confessed.

" We're going to make them stay here, aren't we?" Maria looked at Michael.

" Max and I discussed it. We think it's best." Michael informed her.

" Life's never easy." Maria sighed.

" We'll get through though." Michael commented.

When Max went upstairs he found Liz in their room making the bed.

" You know what I always wondered. What if we lost Kam that day? What would we do, I mean how would we deal. That lost those two suffered. We all did, we all grew unhappy and dying to know our children. I wonder what would have happened if I never was shot. Would Maria lose a child, would Michael ever find love? Would Isabel be a supermodel, would Kyle be a football player, would Alex still be alive? Above all else would you have ended up with Tess? There's a million what ifs. You know what I can't stand out of it all. I can't scream to the world that I am Ms. Max Evans. Our son's last name is Valenti!" Liz stood there. Tears came down her face.

" Liz." Max said softly.

" But all those what ifs. I wouldn't have been with the love of my life. My soul mate but we have to help our children, Max. That's what matters." Liz told him. Liz spotted Josh walking out of the bedroom that Alex and him were sleeping in. " Josh." Liz called out to him. He stood by the doorway.

" Yeah?" He wouldn't look at Liz and Max's face.

" Try and understand." Liz told him.

" She's right." Max said.

Josh headed downstairs to see his mother in his father's lap. ' Now or Never' Josh thought. Once he reached the kitchen Maria looked at him. Her eyes were so caring and loving.

" Josh." Maria said quietly.

" How old was I when you sent me to Valenti's?" Josh took a deep breath.

" A little over a year." Michael responded.

" That old?" Josh figured he was younger.

" Yeah, you were." Maria smiled at the memory.

" How old was Belle?" Josh asked. Maria and Michael stopped.

" How did you know that was her name?" Michael asked. Josh didn't even realize he said the name until Michael asked.

" I ...I just knew. I have these memories. I always figured I was just making stuff up as a kid to justify being left." Josh said.

" Oh god." Maria said. Michael gently rubbed Maria's shoulders. For the first time Josh saw his parents as people that left him because they couldn't lose him either.

" I understand." Josh said. " And thank you." Josh added.

" I love you so much." Maria said as she hugged Josh.

" I know, I know. I love you too." Josh whispered. After Josh was out of Maria's embrace.

" Son." Michael said.

" Dad." For the first time Josh said that word and it felt good.