Disclaimer: It's not yours if you don't have your name on it! And I can't see Joss's name on Spike an-y-where. *checks Spike all over to check*. Nope, hasn't put his name anywhere. Unfortunately, his name is on every episode of Buffy, so I guess that's his. Spike, on the other hand, is up for grabs. Form an orderly queue, ladies, please!

A/N: Told you I was updated regularly! Thanks for all your reviews, especially ello, who wrote a mini essay in hers! Reviews don't count for extra credit, you know ; ). Thanks ello, seeing you take the time to write that much about my fic really made my day!

WARNING: Parts of this contain serious Riley bashing. If you're a Riley lover, beware!!! ********** Buffy lazily scanned through the list of links, not really impressed by anything she saw. She and Spike had been on the internet all morning, but they'd found nothing new so far. Episode guides, quizzes, obsession lists, chat rooms full of strange people speaking in code, the same as always really. What was that AR thing anyway? It got mentioned so many times, but no-one would tell her what it meant. It was kind of like Voldemort on Harry Potter, she thought with a laugh. A thing that struck so much terror into people's hearts, they dare not name it. She giggled again.

"Find something, luv?"

"No. I just thought of something funny, is all."

"Do you want me to have a look?"

"I can find good stuff on my own!"

"You won't if you keep searching for Buffy Summers all the time."

"Fine!" Buffy pushed her chair away from the computer, and put on her best pouty face. "Lets see you do better!"

Spike moved his chair in front of the keyboard, then sat and thought for a second. After a moment, he remembered one of the usernames of the people they'd met in the chatrooms. 'RileySux'. Smirking, he typed "Riley" and "Hate" into the search box, and clicked enter.

He was amazed a few seconds later when the search results came up. 3,456,283 matches! Grinning, he clicked on the first site listed, "FishBoy."

"Hey, I found a good site, Slayer."

Buffy turned back to the computer in time to see a picture of Riley doing a Marilyn Monroe impression before they were taken to the main page.

"What is this?" she asked, confused. "What's Fishboy? And what are all these links?" She looked down the table of contents. "Jokes, The Riley Spinoff, The Story of Riley, Christmas Cheer. . . what is all this?"

"Well, I'm not sure about the second question, but if you wanna answer your first one, click the first link."

Buffy looked to where he was pointing to see the words "Who is Fishboy?" Figuring she had nothing to lose, she clicked the link, and started to read out what it said.

"So, you don't know what FishBoy is then? Fish Boy is a name a lot of Riley Finn haters call him." She looked at Spike. "Riley haters?!"

"Yeah, there's a lot of us, apparently."

"How did you find this?"

"I looked for Riley and Hater on the search engine."

Buffy gave him an incredulous look, but then turned back to the computer and started scrolling up and down the contents. "Well, as long as we're here, we might as well make the most of it."

"So, all the people in this dimension called him 'Fish Boy'. Fish boy." He said the name slowly, as though trying it out for size. "I like it. Fishboy it is. I always thought he looked like a fish anyway." He looked at Buffy, who was still indecisively looking for a page. One particular one caught his eye.

"Do that one." He pointed to one near the bottom. "Say Riley Sucks in other languages. I've always wanted to be able to do that!"

Buffy complied, and soon they were staring at a page of phrases in what they assumed was Dutch.

"Riley zeikt. I like it!"

"What about this one?" Spike said with a smirk. "Riley is een mislukte kip."

"What's it mean?"

"Riley is a deformed chicken."

"Ooooh, I have to learn that one."

Spike looked the page up and down, and found some of the phrases quite useful.

"You can put any twerp's name in here. Like. . . Peaches is een sul. The Whelp is achterlijk. We're going to have to have to bookmark this page! Learn myself some new insults."

While Spike was busy trying to figure how to work the favourites, Buffy looked at some of the other phrases Spike hadn't seen, hiding at the bottom of the page.

"Spike is een schatje."

"What's that, love?"

"It means Spike is a hottie."

"I'd pretend to be modest, but I'm not going to lie to you, pet."

"I'm not going to fall for the ego trap again, so don't even try!"

"Fine!" Spike's eyes trailed over the links to the side again, and he spotted one that sounded like fun. "You Know You Hate Riley When. . . Shall we try that one, luv?"

She nodded, and as he clicked the link, she noticed one phrase near the bottom. "Ik houd van Spike."

"What's that mean, luv."

"Err, Spike's an idiot."

Spike grinned to himself. Buffy might not know it, but he spoke Dutch. Not much mind, but enough. He knew just what Buffy had just said, even if she wasn't going to admit herself.

Spike looked at the new page that had just loaded.

"You Know You Hate Riley When." He paused, then read out the first one on the list. "You've never been to Iowa, but you're sure you hate it."

"Oh, that one applies to me! If I heard him say 'Iowa, born and raised' one more time, I'd scream! How boring can you get?!"

"When your friend mentions that she/he likes cheese, you give him/her an evil glare."

"Do NOT mention cheese. Every few days he'd start talking about that stupid stuff! You know, we'd have just finished doing. . . stuff, and he'd start talking about it. And he didn't even know the names of any of them, so it was always 'That holy cheese' or 'that strong British one'. It made me want to kill him!"

Spike grinned, then carried on reading. "You have a new-found hate for anything military."

"Oh yeah. Why did he always wear that uniform? I mean, he got kicked out. He shouldn't even be *allowed* to wear it, but he never took it off. I mean did Riley think it was sexy or something?"

Spike snorted.

"What?"

"You used the words 'sexy' and 'Riley' in the same sentence, and you expected me to keep a straight face?!"

"Good point."

Spike turned back to the list, and read, "You just know he fantasises about having a secret orgy affair with the Backstreet Boys."

"Oh my god! What was his deal with them! To start with, his obsession was cute, but after a while it was just like, 'THEY'RE CRAP, YOU STUPID CORN FED FREAK!'"

"Right, Slayer. You would kill to take that damn scarf and choke him with it."

Buffy's eye started twitching, and her hands started clenching and unclenching. She looked like she was about to go insane.

"Maybe we should go to another site, luv, before you explode."

She nodded, and he clicked on the links page. After looking through the options for a while, he found one that sounded fun.

"Look at this one, Slayer. 'Midnight's Child: Why Buffy and Spike belong with each other.'"

"Well, go on it then. Give us a chance to see what these people think of us being together."

"Guessing they're fans considering that title."

"Good point."

Spike clicked the link, and was quickly taken to the site. When it loaded, he looked at it in amazement.

"Reasons why Buffy and Spike belong together. Reasons why they are so alike. Reasons why Spike is waaaaay better than Angel." He stopped reading for a moment. "I like this chick. She thinks I'm better than Angel."

"Must be blind."

"Hey!"

Buffy elbowed him out of the way, and started scanning through the list. Most of them were the typical lovey dovey stuff she had been expecting, but the fifth one was a bit different.

"B/A doesn't have a cool name like "Spuffy". I mean..."Bungel?" or "Anffy?" Uhh...Bagel?"

"What, luv?"

Buffy grinned. This was too cute. "Looks like the fans have got a name for us being together. At least we know what 'Spuffy' means now. Everyone was talking about how great it was, and I didn't have a clue what they were on about!"

"But what's B/A, luv?"

"I dunno." She frowned, thinking deeply. "Well, Spuffy is obviously Spike and Buffy, right? So Bungel is. . . Buffy and Angel!"

"Let me get this straight. These guys are making fun of you being with Angel?"

Buffy nodded. "I think so."

"I'm liking these people even more!" Spike took the mouse off her, and looked further down the list.

"Look at number seven. 'Blonde! Blonde is in, both Buffy and Spike have gone blonde. They match!'"

Buffy nodded, smiling, then realised something. "Hey! I did not 'go blonde'! My hair is naturally this colour!"

"Yeah, I believe you, pet."

"It is! I've never dyed my hair. Ever!"

"Maybe it's time you did. It'd look good green."

"Gross, Spike!"

"Just a suggestion. Think you'd look kinda formidable to the vamps if your hair was green."

"Formidable, or comical?"

"Same thing, luv."

Buffy turned to read the next one, but Spike stopped her.

"What is it?"

"Red's coming. Don't want her to see what site we're on, do we now?"

"'Spose not." Buffy reluctantly shut down the internet connection, then prepared her and Spike's alibi. They'd decided that if Spike sensed anyone coming, she would pretend to be reading some book on demonology, and Spike would read the book that Buffy had got him for Christmas.

A few moments later, Willow came into the dining room.

"Hi Buffy, Spike. What'cha doing?"

"Oh, just doing some studying. Staying on top of the demons, that sort of thing."

"Right." Her eyes glanced over Spike's book. "Evil for Dummies?!"

"Gotta read summit. Besides, there are some pretty good schemes here. And I'm mentioned several times."

"Oh-kay." She turned back to Buffy. "I'm going to the Magic Box. Wanna come with?"

"No, thanks. Busy reading."

"And then we're going to have some Spuffy, aren't we, luv?" Spike butted in, grinning.

"Spuffy?!"

"Yeah," Buffy said, looking daggers at Spike. "It's a band. I just love em."

"Uh huh. Not that clueless, Buff. Where'd you come up with that codeword? Or don't I wanna know?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Right, okay then. Maybe I'll see you tonight, at the Bronze?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Willow grinned, nodded at Spike, then headed out the door. The minute she was gone, Buffy turned to Spike.

"I hate you," she said with a laugh "You know that, right?"

********** A/N: Please, please review! It's easy! Just click the little box in the bottom left hand corner, and fill out the pop up box. It's that simple! The two sites they visit are: for the Fishboy site, which is really hilarious if you're a Riley basher. You have to read the Riley Spinoffs, and the jokes. So, so funny! The other site was which was the Spuffy site, and it's one of the best Spuffy sites I've ever seen. Another good one, which I sadly couldn't work into this fic, is which has 110 ways to kill Riley - also very funny! If you know any sites they should visit, especially funny ones to do with Buffy or Spike, please tell me in your reviews! *hint* review *hint* lol =)