A/N: Didn't think I'd ever say this but. . . First Date was great! Aww, the
end was so sweet, and now Spike can kill Wood! Please let him kill Wood. I
don't care that he's not evil, I want him dead! Lol. I've finally got a
website - nothing special, but still, it's a start! Sorry this chapter took
a while but I went away and had no laptop to type with. It's here now
anyway, so enjoy!!! BTW, thanks to the person who told me there was a
problem with this chapter, it's all fixed now! (I hope. . .)
**********
Buffy yawned slightly as she put the next tape in. She needed to keep an eye on the time. Willow could come back from the Bronze, and if she saw them watching themselves on the TV, there would definitely be questions.
Trying to ignore that thought for the moment, she snuggled back onto the couch, and watched the episode start. It was a fairly slow start, mind. Just the other Scoobies sitting around, talking about her. It sounded like she had got herself a job, but none of them were mentioning what it was. *Not good* she thought. *If they're not mentioning it, it can't be good.*
She blushed crimson when she saw herself enter the room, dressed completely in orange with the world's stupidest hat on her head.
"Nice look, luv."
"Shut up, Spike."
"It was a compliment!"
"Whatever."
"I mean it. Orange is a good colour for you. Makes you look all. . . traffic coney."
Buffy smacked Spike round the head, as hard as she could.
"Ow! What was that for?"
She just glowered at him, and turned back to the screen.
A few minutes later, he spoke again.
"What I wanna know, luv, is if you're so poor, why do you keep buying all these brand new designer clothes to wear? Aren't your other 5 million pairs of trousers decent enough? And do you really need *another* jumper to go with them?"
Buffy scowled, and tossed her hair over her shoulder like the girl in the shampoo commercial. "A girl needs to keep up with the latest style. It's not like you, who only has one t-shirt, one pair of jeans and one pair of boots."
"I'll have you know I have lots of different shirts!" Buffy gave him a look, and he continued. "They're all exactly the same, but I still have a bunch of 'em."
Buffy shook her head, and tried to carry on watching the episode. After a while, though, she got fidgety.
"Luv, could you at least try to sit still. You're causing a mini earthquake here."
"It's just. . . this episode is so *boring*. Can't we do something else?"
"Like what?"
"Like. . . go on the internet?"
"If we must, luv."
Buffy giggled, bounced of the couch, and ran into the dining room. Spike slowly followed her, not bothering to stop the tape. When he got to the table he saw that Buffy had already logged on, and was quickly typing something into the search engine.
He leaned closer to read what she had put. "Fanfiction?"
"Yeah! It was so funny last time we read some, so I thought, why not read some more?"
Spike pretended to collapse in the chair from shock. "*Buffy Summers* wanting to do some reading? Willingly?!"
"Shut up, Spike." She pressed search, and watched as the options appeared. "FanFiction.net. That sounds good." She clicked the link, and then proceeded to make her way to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer section of the site.
"Right, there we go. Now all we need to do is choose a fic."
They scrolled through the options for a few minutes, before Spike noticed one which sounded good.
"Hey, look at this one, Slayer. 'Fifty Fifty, by PassionFish.' Says it has audience participation. Shall we have a look?"
"Your call."
Spike clicked the link and started to read the fic.
"'Buffy smirked at her opponent, brandishing her stake threateningly.'
'Her opponent just smirked right back, as they continued to circle one another.'"
"Alright, Spike. You don't have to read it out loud!"
"Just thought you'd want a little help, luv, seeing as you haven't read anything since High School."
"I have too!"
"What?"
"Well. . . fashion magazines, and the TV guide, and the menu at McDonalds. See, I read lots of things!"
"Well, if you can read, Slayer, then do so!"
She stuck her tongue out at him, but he didn't notice, as he was too busy reading the fic in front of him. It was about him making a bet with Buffy. Kinda like real life, in fact, as he and Buffy often made bets to pass the boring hours in the cemetery. This was a stupid bet though. If Buffy won, he had to give her driving lessons, which was very scary. He'd experienced Buffy's driving, and never wanted to again. However, if he won, she had to ask him to dance. Such a lame bet. He'd come up with much better ones in his unlife. Could have possibilities though, depending on how it went.
When he got to the end, he started tapping his fingers on the desk, waiting for Buffy.
"Right, Slayer. So, what are we picking?"
"What?"
"Red-and-black or coral?"
"What?"
Spike sighed, and started to read out the last few sentences on the page.
"'If you want Spike to win....choose the red and black pill! If you want Buffy to win, choose the coral pill.'"
"Oh! I didn't read that bit. I don't bother reading the notes at the bottom. They're just people rambling on about their favourite characters, what happened in last night's ep, and begging people to review. What's the point? I mean. . ."
"As much as I love to hear you ramble, pet, you gotta choose one."
"Right. Well, obviously coral. There's no way *you* would win!"
Spike scowled, and choose the fic that had Buffy Wins at the top. Resisting the urge to read it out loud, he started to scroll down the page.
While Spike was shaking inwardly at so much as the thought of giving Buffy driving lessons, Buffy was grinning. *Driving lessons with Spike* she thought with a giggle. *Could be fun.* She was annoyed at the writer's portrayal of her skills though. She wasn't *that* bad a driver. She opened her mouth to comment on the idea of lessons, but was quickly cut off.
"No."
"But. . ."
"No!"
"You don't even know what I was going to say!"
"Yes I bloody well do! I'm not getting in a car with you at the wheel. I wouldn't even go near a car with you at the wheel."
"That's really un. . ."
"Sorry, luv, but I value my unlife."
"I'm not *that* bad."
"Yes you are. The answer's no."
Buffy turned away from him then, crossed her arms and pouted.
"Sulking now, are we, luv? Very mature."
She stuck her tongue out at him, and continued to sulk. Sighing, he tried to finish reading the story.
About a minute later, however, Buffy let out a sound of disgust.
"What now, pet?"
"This is disgusting. It's like porn or something! These people are really sick! I don't want to read any more." She clicked the back button, and started to look for another fic to read.
"Hey! I was reading that!"
"Tough. Now you're not."
He tried to wrestle the mouse of her, desperate to read the rest. "I'm the one who chose the fic in the first place, and I wanna finish it!"
"Well, you can't. I'm the slayer, and I say you can't!"
"You stole that line from the fic!"
Buffy blushed, but tried to act as though she hadn't. "So?"
In the end, Spike gave up. She was definitely in one of those moods.
*******
Buffy let the mouse hover over one of the fic names, then clicked it, deciding that this time she would read the summary before she let Spike get any further. She was sure he watched enough porn without her helping him.
"'Elizabeth Anne Summers is a champion show jumper, who can no longer jump due to a wrist injury. William "Spike" Giles is a Triple Crown winning jockey. The two meet when their parents join in a business venture and neither are on the other's good side. And yet despite the hatred that flows between they, something more starts to happen.'" She frowned, and clicked the back button.
"What was that for?"
"It sounded like it would have more sick stuff, so I decided we aren't reading it. Besides, it was ridiculous!"
"Why?"
"You? A champion jockey?"
"I'll have you know that was my life ambition when I was human!" The instant he said that, he regretted it.
"What? *You* were a jockey? That nerd I saw was a jockey?!"
"Well, no," Spike mumbled, obviously ashamed of what he was about to say. "I was scared of speed and crowds and loud noises. I liked horses though."
Buffy giggled. "I hate the things!"
"What?"
"That's another reason why it could never happen. I hate them. They bite, and kick, and squeal and all sorts. They're scary things."
"Lemme get this straight. Buffy, the Slayer, the Chosen One, will go out every night and fight vampires and demons and the forces of darkness without a thought, but is terrified of horses."
"Yeah. So?"
"And you think I was pathetic, luv."
"Hey!" Buffy was cross to say the least, but couldn't think of a decent comeback, so she tried to ignore it and scrolled through the list once more.
"You know," she said thoughtfully, "these people seem to know a lot about us. And they all seem to speak the same code. We should ask one of them what it means!"
Without waiting for Spike to reply, she selected a random user, elven- princess88, and clicked the link to email them.
^Hi^ she typed.
^Me and my friend are new to this website, and we don't really understand what people are talking about sometimes. We're wondering if you could help us.^
"Why do you keep putting 'we' all the time, luv. I don't give a toss either way."
"Shut it, Spike."
^Could you please tell us what 'AR' and 'the bathroom scene' are, as everyone seems to be talking about them, and we don't know what they are.
Thanks a lot,
Buffy and Spike.^
"You can't put that!"
"Why not?"
"Because these people don't know that we're real. Put that and they'll think you're stupid, insane or both."
"Fine!" she said, and changed it to ^Spuffy Fan^.
Before Spike could object again, she clicked send and grinned as her message went through cyber space.
Closing the email program, she looked at the fics this person had written. "Look at this one, Spike. 'Surfing With Spike.' Do you wanna reads it?"
Spike nodded. "You pestered the poor girl with your email, so you'd better at least read her fic."
Buffy clicked on it, and was about to start reading when. . .
"SPIKE!"
Jumping, Buffy quickly closed down the internet program. She'd have to read it another time.
Spike had already gone into the hallway, to find Dawn standing at the top of the stairs.
"Spike? Is Buffy back yet?"
"Yeah, Nibblet. She's here." Buffy followed him into the hall, and glared up the stairs at her sister.
"What are you doing, Dawn?"
"I want a snack. Sorry if I was *interrupting* anything."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Dawn."
"Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes, and started into the living room. She stopped dead, however, when her eyes fell on the TV screen.
"What's that?"
The couple ran after her, to see what she was looking at. They had left the TV on, and now all three of them were treated to a show of Spike and Buffy having sex against a wall.
Buffy leapt forward, and quickly turned it off. Looking daggers at Spike, she said, "Why don't you get your snack and then go back to bed, Dawn."
"What was that?"
"Home video," Spike said quickly.
"What?! You guys taped yourself doing *that*?!"
"Dawn," Buffy said warningly.
"I mean, if you guys are trying to be all secretive, the least you could do is not leave tapes of you two getting it on playing where anyone could see it."
"Dawn!"
"And couldn't you find a more romantic spot than outside a fast food restaurant?"
"Dawn! Go back to bed!"
"But. . ."
"Now!"
She glared at Buffy for a second, then stormed upstairs. As she went, she said, "I'm just saying, you must have been *really* horny. I mean, a fast food restaurant?!"
"DAWN!" ********** A/N: The fics mentioned are Fifty Fifty by Passion Fish, Trail to the Roses by Angelchick007, and Surfing With Spike by ME!!! Please review! Happy Easter everyone!
Buffy yawned slightly as she put the next tape in. She needed to keep an eye on the time. Willow could come back from the Bronze, and if she saw them watching themselves on the TV, there would definitely be questions.
Trying to ignore that thought for the moment, she snuggled back onto the couch, and watched the episode start. It was a fairly slow start, mind. Just the other Scoobies sitting around, talking about her. It sounded like she had got herself a job, but none of them were mentioning what it was. *Not good* she thought. *If they're not mentioning it, it can't be good.*
She blushed crimson when she saw herself enter the room, dressed completely in orange with the world's stupidest hat on her head.
"Nice look, luv."
"Shut up, Spike."
"It was a compliment!"
"Whatever."
"I mean it. Orange is a good colour for you. Makes you look all. . . traffic coney."
Buffy smacked Spike round the head, as hard as she could.
"Ow! What was that for?"
She just glowered at him, and turned back to the screen.
A few minutes later, he spoke again.
"What I wanna know, luv, is if you're so poor, why do you keep buying all these brand new designer clothes to wear? Aren't your other 5 million pairs of trousers decent enough? And do you really need *another* jumper to go with them?"
Buffy scowled, and tossed her hair over her shoulder like the girl in the shampoo commercial. "A girl needs to keep up with the latest style. It's not like you, who only has one t-shirt, one pair of jeans and one pair of boots."
"I'll have you know I have lots of different shirts!" Buffy gave him a look, and he continued. "They're all exactly the same, but I still have a bunch of 'em."
Buffy shook her head, and tried to carry on watching the episode. After a while, though, she got fidgety.
"Luv, could you at least try to sit still. You're causing a mini earthquake here."
"It's just. . . this episode is so *boring*. Can't we do something else?"
"Like what?"
"Like. . . go on the internet?"
"If we must, luv."
Buffy giggled, bounced of the couch, and ran into the dining room. Spike slowly followed her, not bothering to stop the tape. When he got to the table he saw that Buffy had already logged on, and was quickly typing something into the search engine.
He leaned closer to read what she had put. "Fanfiction?"
"Yeah! It was so funny last time we read some, so I thought, why not read some more?"
Spike pretended to collapse in the chair from shock. "*Buffy Summers* wanting to do some reading? Willingly?!"
"Shut up, Spike." She pressed search, and watched as the options appeared. "FanFiction.net. That sounds good." She clicked the link, and then proceeded to make her way to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer section of the site.
"Right, there we go. Now all we need to do is choose a fic."
They scrolled through the options for a few minutes, before Spike noticed one which sounded good.
"Hey, look at this one, Slayer. 'Fifty Fifty, by PassionFish.' Says it has audience participation. Shall we have a look?"
"Your call."
Spike clicked the link and started to read the fic.
"'Buffy smirked at her opponent, brandishing her stake threateningly.'
'Her opponent just smirked right back, as they continued to circle one another.'"
"Alright, Spike. You don't have to read it out loud!"
"Just thought you'd want a little help, luv, seeing as you haven't read anything since High School."
"I have too!"
"What?"
"Well. . . fashion magazines, and the TV guide, and the menu at McDonalds. See, I read lots of things!"
"Well, if you can read, Slayer, then do so!"
She stuck her tongue out at him, but he didn't notice, as he was too busy reading the fic in front of him. It was about him making a bet with Buffy. Kinda like real life, in fact, as he and Buffy often made bets to pass the boring hours in the cemetery. This was a stupid bet though. If Buffy won, he had to give her driving lessons, which was very scary. He'd experienced Buffy's driving, and never wanted to again. However, if he won, she had to ask him to dance. Such a lame bet. He'd come up with much better ones in his unlife. Could have possibilities though, depending on how it went.
When he got to the end, he started tapping his fingers on the desk, waiting for Buffy.
"Right, Slayer. So, what are we picking?"
"What?"
"Red-and-black or coral?"
"What?"
Spike sighed, and started to read out the last few sentences on the page.
"'If you want Spike to win....choose the red and black pill! If you want Buffy to win, choose the coral pill.'"
"Oh! I didn't read that bit. I don't bother reading the notes at the bottom. They're just people rambling on about their favourite characters, what happened in last night's ep, and begging people to review. What's the point? I mean. . ."
"As much as I love to hear you ramble, pet, you gotta choose one."
"Right. Well, obviously coral. There's no way *you* would win!"
Spike scowled, and choose the fic that had Buffy Wins at the top. Resisting the urge to read it out loud, he started to scroll down the page.
While Spike was shaking inwardly at so much as the thought of giving Buffy driving lessons, Buffy was grinning. *Driving lessons with Spike* she thought with a giggle. *Could be fun.* She was annoyed at the writer's portrayal of her skills though. She wasn't *that* bad a driver. She opened her mouth to comment on the idea of lessons, but was quickly cut off.
"No."
"But. . ."
"No!"
"You don't even know what I was going to say!"
"Yes I bloody well do! I'm not getting in a car with you at the wheel. I wouldn't even go near a car with you at the wheel."
"That's really un. . ."
"Sorry, luv, but I value my unlife."
"I'm not *that* bad."
"Yes you are. The answer's no."
Buffy turned away from him then, crossed her arms and pouted.
"Sulking now, are we, luv? Very mature."
She stuck her tongue out at him, and continued to sulk. Sighing, he tried to finish reading the story.
About a minute later, however, Buffy let out a sound of disgust.
"What now, pet?"
"This is disgusting. It's like porn or something! These people are really sick! I don't want to read any more." She clicked the back button, and started to look for another fic to read.
"Hey! I was reading that!"
"Tough. Now you're not."
He tried to wrestle the mouse of her, desperate to read the rest. "I'm the one who chose the fic in the first place, and I wanna finish it!"
"Well, you can't. I'm the slayer, and I say you can't!"
"You stole that line from the fic!"
Buffy blushed, but tried to act as though she hadn't. "So?"
In the end, Spike gave up. She was definitely in one of those moods.
*******
Buffy let the mouse hover over one of the fic names, then clicked it, deciding that this time she would read the summary before she let Spike get any further. She was sure he watched enough porn without her helping him.
"'Elizabeth Anne Summers is a champion show jumper, who can no longer jump due to a wrist injury. William "Spike" Giles is a Triple Crown winning jockey. The two meet when their parents join in a business venture and neither are on the other's good side. And yet despite the hatred that flows between they, something more starts to happen.'" She frowned, and clicked the back button.
"What was that for?"
"It sounded like it would have more sick stuff, so I decided we aren't reading it. Besides, it was ridiculous!"
"Why?"
"You? A champion jockey?"
"I'll have you know that was my life ambition when I was human!" The instant he said that, he regretted it.
"What? *You* were a jockey? That nerd I saw was a jockey?!"
"Well, no," Spike mumbled, obviously ashamed of what he was about to say. "I was scared of speed and crowds and loud noises. I liked horses though."
Buffy giggled. "I hate the things!"
"What?"
"That's another reason why it could never happen. I hate them. They bite, and kick, and squeal and all sorts. They're scary things."
"Lemme get this straight. Buffy, the Slayer, the Chosen One, will go out every night and fight vampires and demons and the forces of darkness without a thought, but is terrified of horses."
"Yeah. So?"
"And you think I was pathetic, luv."
"Hey!" Buffy was cross to say the least, but couldn't think of a decent comeback, so she tried to ignore it and scrolled through the list once more.
"You know," she said thoughtfully, "these people seem to know a lot about us. And they all seem to speak the same code. We should ask one of them what it means!"
Without waiting for Spike to reply, she selected a random user, elven- princess88, and clicked the link to email them.
^Hi^ she typed.
^Me and my friend are new to this website, and we don't really understand what people are talking about sometimes. We're wondering if you could help us.^
"Why do you keep putting 'we' all the time, luv. I don't give a toss either way."
"Shut it, Spike."
^Could you please tell us what 'AR' and 'the bathroom scene' are, as everyone seems to be talking about them, and we don't know what they are.
Thanks a lot,
Buffy and Spike.^
"You can't put that!"
"Why not?"
"Because these people don't know that we're real. Put that and they'll think you're stupid, insane or both."
"Fine!" she said, and changed it to ^Spuffy Fan^.
Before Spike could object again, she clicked send and grinned as her message went through cyber space.
Closing the email program, she looked at the fics this person had written. "Look at this one, Spike. 'Surfing With Spike.' Do you wanna reads it?"
Spike nodded. "You pestered the poor girl with your email, so you'd better at least read her fic."
Buffy clicked on it, and was about to start reading when. . .
"SPIKE!"
Jumping, Buffy quickly closed down the internet program. She'd have to read it another time.
Spike had already gone into the hallway, to find Dawn standing at the top of the stairs.
"Spike? Is Buffy back yet?"
"Yeah, Nibblet. She's here." Buffy followed him into the hall, and glared up the stairs at her sister.
"What are you doing, Dawn?"
"I want a snack. Sorry if I was *interrupting* anything."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Dawn."
"Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes, and started into the living room. She stopped dead, however, when her eyes fell on the TV screen.
"What's that?"
The couple ran after her, to see what she was looking at. They had left the TV on, and now all three of them were treated to a show of Spike and Buffy having sex against a wall.
Buffy leapt forward, and quickly turned it off. Looking daggers at Spike, she said, "Why don't you get your snack and then go back to bed, Dawn."
"What was that?"
"Home video," Spike said quickly.
"What?! You guys taped yourself doing *that*?!"
"Dawn," Buffy said warningly.
"I mean, if you guys are trying to be all secretive, the least you could do is not leave tapes of you two getting it on playing where anyone could see it."
"Dawn!"
"And couldn't you find a more romantic spot than outside a fast food restaurant?"
"Dawn! Go back to bed!"
"But. . ."
"Now!"
She glared at Buffy for a second, then stormed upstairs. As she went, she said, "I'm just saying, you must have been *really* horny. I mean, a fast food restaurant?!"
"DAWN!" ********** A/N: The fics mentioned are Fifty Fifty by Passion Fish, Trail to the Roses by Angelchick007, and Surfing With Spike by ME!!! Please review! Happy Easter everyone!
