A/N: I know I promised more updates, but I haven't had time. Like the naïve little person I am, I thought that after the exams there would be no more homework. Instead, I got 10 lectures on 'the importance of GCSEs' and then was given a pile of coursework to do, meaning I didn't have time to write until the start of the summer holidays, ie today. Sorry!

Anyway, here it is, and I hope you like it! I'll update again sometime over the weekend!
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Buffy picked her way through the gravestones, looking around intently for any signs of demonic activity. It had been a week since she'd had the argument with Spike, and she hadn't seen him since. Every day she thought of going to his crypt to see him, and every day she decided against it. She knew that if she went it would mean she'd have to talk feelings with him, and that was something she'd never been good at. So instead she patrolled the cemeteries all night, hoping she would 'accidentally' bump into him.

She'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't noticed where she was going, and was surprised to see she was standing outside Spike's crypt. For a second she contemplated going inside, but then wrapped her arms around herself and hurried past. She was thinking about moving on to a different cemetery to remove herself from temptation, when a vampire jumped out of nowhere and tackled her to the ground.

Buffy sprung into fighting mode immediately, pushing all thoughts of Spike out of her mind as she kicked the vamp out of the way and jumped to her feet. The vamp seemed very surprised that she had fought back and stared at her in amazement for a moment. A moment was all Buffy needed. She lunged forward and drove the stake through the stupid vampire's heart. The vamp screamed in pain as he exploded into dust.

*I've never heard a vampire scream when it's staked before,* Buffy thought idly. *What a wuss.*

She sensed another one coming up behind her, and spun around, stake raised, to see Spike standing there, looking apprehensive.

She lowered her stake slowly, and said, without even thinking, "What do you want?"

The minute she said it, she regretted it. It had come out a lot more pissed off then she had meant, and Spike visibly winced at the coldness of her words.

"Nothing, Slayer. Just saw you were out patrolling and thought you might want a bit of help. Looks like I was mistaken." He turned round, and started to storm back to his crypt. Buffy stumbled after him.

"Spike, wait."

"What?" He turned back to face her, and stared at her expectantly. Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't think what to say under his fiery gaze.

There was a long pause. After a moment, Buffy said, "Have you noticed how things have been different since we started watching those videos? How things that they showed were going to happen never did?"

"Yeah. What's your point, luv?"

"Well. . ." Buffy trailed off, trying desperately to think of the words to say what she felt without bearing her heart open too much. "Maybe some of the things that people said or felt on the videos aren't what they feel now. Maybe things are so different now that some of the stuff will never happen. Maybe people said things that they didn't really mean. Maybe. . ."

"Maybe? You don't sound too sure of yourself, luv."

Buffy groaned, her temper getting the better of her. "Why do you always do this? How come whenever I have something important to say to you, you're always cocky and sarcastic? I try to talk to you and all I get back is your cooler-than-thou attitude. I mean, what the hell is wrong with you!"

"Sorry, pet. I didn't think you had a point. I thought you were just rambling."

"I'm trying to tell you something!"

"Well, you can't be trying that hard or else you would've said it already!"

"I'm trying the best I can!" Buffy looked away from him then, tears starting to form in her eyes. Spike took a step towards her, but she moved until there was several feet between them, and she fidgeted agitatedly on the balls of her feet with her back to him. "I just. . . I'm not good with talking about my feelings. Cos, you know, every time I do I get chewed up and spit out. Maybe you can do the whole heart on your sleeve thing, but it's just not my style." She wiped her eyes, then added as an afterthought, "At least, not any more."

"Buffy. . ."

"Don't. Don't make this any harder than it already is." She took a deep breath as she raked her fingers through her hair, then started again. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry about what happened. I know it doesn't make it better, but I need you to know. I don't know why I'm sorry, because I haven't done anything wrong, but I am!"

"Haven't done anything wrong? I think using me does actually count as a mistake, luv!"

Buffy spun around to face him, her face flushed with rage. "Have I ever said I was using you? Ever? You're basing my feelings on something that I never really said. You know how much has changed since we started watching those videos. What, do you just assume that I still feel the same way, despite everything else? You're such a self-obsessed prat sometimes. And I've just realised I've veered away from what I've been practising all week, but I just don't seem to care! That's a feeling I've been having a lot lately when I've been around you. I don't care what my best friends think about us being together! I don't care that you're a vampire! I don't care that you don't have a soul! I don't care about anything anymore except you! You know, maybe if I didn't love you so damn much I'd get along a lot better!"

Buffy's eyes went wide when she realised what she'd said. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth, and she started edging backwards.

"What did you just say?"

"I don't know. I didn't mean to say that." Buffy avoided his gaze as she started to turn away, but Spike grabbed her arm and spun her round to face him.

"Did you just say you loved me?"

"I didn't mean to say that. It just came out."

"Doesn't matter if you meant to say it. What matters is if you meant it."

"I can't talk about this now."

"Oh, I think you can. All you have to is say yes or no. S'not that hard."

Buffy looked up into his eyes, and felt them penetrating deep inside her. "Yes, okay! I love you! Are you happy now?"

"Not nearly." And before Buffy could blink, he'd moved down and gently pressed his lips against hers. It was unlike any other kiss they'd ever shared. It was slow and sweet, caring and gentle. It lacked the fire they usually had, but it had a loving feel that they'd never had before. After a long moment, Spike pulled away. "Now I'm happy."

"Mmmm. Me too." Buffy smiled, and melted against his chest. "I've missed you."

"Yeah. Missed you too."

Buffy suddenly jumped onto her own feet, and grinned. "I almost forgot, I've got a surprise for you back home."

"A surprise, huh?" Spike said slowly, raising his eyebrow. "What kind of surprise are you talking about?"

Buffy giggled at the look on his face, then said, "One of the none naughty variety." Seeing his face fall slightly, she added, "But you'll love it. I promise."

********

Half an hour later, Buffy and Spike settled down in front of the computer. Buffy was grinning madly, but Spike was looking confused.

"No offence, luv, but I don't see why this is such a surprise. We go on the net all the time."

"You'll see."

She logged on, and clicked onto her favourites list. Before she could choose the link, however, Spike said, "Did that chick ever email you back?"

"Which chick?"

"The one you emailed about what the AR is and stuff."

"Oh, yeah. You can read it if you like." Buffy quickly navigated through the email account until she found it. She gave Spike the mouse as he scrolled through it.

^Hi^ It said in bright purple letters.

^Thanks for emailing me! I know how you feel. I was so confused when I first started reading fanfic. Everyone's always talking in code! Hope you've sorted it out now.^

^You don't know what the AR is? You're a BBC viewer, right? Sorry, but I don't want to spoil it for you. You'll find out as soon as Seeing Red's shown. Try to not read spoilers before then, cos you'll be happier not knowing!^

^Luv Rhi^

Spike started at the screen in disgust. "She didn't answer our question at all! Stupid cow."

"Yeah, but you know how she said we'd find out once we watched Seeing Red? Well, I looked, and Seeing Red is one of the episodes we've got, so we won't have to wait long to find out."

"Yeah, I guess." Spike stayed quiet for a moment, then said, "So, what's this surprise you've got me? Is it porn?"

"No! It's better."

Buffy clicked on a link in her favourites, and Spike watched as the page loaded. He broke out into a grin as he read the title.

"'Reasons why Spike is better than Angel.' Aww, Buffy, you shouldn't have!"

Buffy grinned. "I knew you'd like it."

Spike started to read, thinking he'd died and gone to heaven.

"'Let's talk about handling failure: When Angel fails something, he tries to kill himself. When Spike fails something, he kills the boss and watches TV.' The poofter tried to kill himself?"

Buffy nodded mutely.

"Always knew he was too pathetic to survive in the real world."

Buffy smiled and read the next one. "'Spike isn't stupid enough to bite a gypsy in the first place.'"

"Too right I'm not. I'm not stupid enough to get cursed! Always thought it was his own bloody fault."

"'Two words: the car. I WANT that car!'"

"Well, they can't bloody have it! That car's unique!"

"I thought you got rid of it."

Spike avoided Buffy's gaze. "Yeah. Got rid of it. Right."

Buffy rolled her eyes, and turned back to the list. "'Spike doesn't brood!!!'"

"That's right! I never brood! Brooding's for poofs!"

Buffy ignored him as she read down to the bottom of the page, then burst out laughing.

"What's so funny, luv?"

"This must have been written quite a while ago!"

"Why?"

Buffy pointed at a sentence and Spike, leant closer to read it. "'One thing you can say about Spike: he's not conflicted. If he wanted Buffy he wouldn't let fear, angst, or a poor, tortured soul stop him.' I don't see what's so funny, luv."

"That s totally wrong. You were such a little puppy dog when you fell in love with me! All sad and pathetic, digging around for any little compliment from me. It nearly made me sick! You were far worse than Angel!"

"Yeah, well I'm better than Angel at other things, right luv?" Spike asked suggestively, but Buffy wasn't listening.

"Yeah, Spike, sure. You know, I'm kinda tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"Really, luv?" Spike asked, grinning.

"Okay, gutter much? I wanna sleep."

Spike looked disappointed. He stood up and started towards the door. "Oh. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, luv."

Buffy hurried after him. "You can stay if you want. Dawn and Willow won't mind. As long as sleep's the only thing you do."

Spike smiled gratefully. "Thanks, luv."

"I'm gonna have a shower first though. Wanna come with?" She licked her lips, and started up the stairs. Spike hurried after her right on her heels. Now *that* was an offer he wasn't going to miss!
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A/N: I know that Seeing Red has already shown on the BBC, but when I planned that, it hadn't, so just go with me.

Thanks to everyone who voted for this fic at Spuffy Awards! It was runner up! *grins madly* Thanks!!!

Please review!