A/N: Thanks for all your suggestions about what I should do with this story. I have, however, decided that I'm going to finish this story. It's been 7 months since I started this story, 7 months I've enjoyed a lot, but I've decided it's time to bring this one to a close and work on something else. I'm not just going to drop it, but instead go to the end I originally planned for the story. There will be two more chapters after this one, and then probably an epilogue. Thanks to everyone who's read this story, I hope you've enjoyed it, and like the ending as much as the rest of it!

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Buffy glanced over at the clock on the mantle-piece, and slowly registered the time. Midnight. She should probably go to bed soon, or at least go on patrol, but she just couldn't seem to be able to move from her position on the couch. She was stretched all along it, her feet curled up at one end and her head cushioned in Spike's lap at the other. She'd been lying in that position for hours, watching yet more videos with him. They had both booed and thrown popcorn at the screen when Riley came. Buffy had been grateful to see her bridesmaid dress *before* the wedding, and made a mental note to try to talk Anya out of it later. Spike had watched himself sleep with Anya, and after a moment of insane jealousy from Buffy, she had accepted that she had been a bit of a bitch to him, and couldn't really blame him after the way she had treated him.

Now the last episode on that tape was starting, and Buffy grinned as she saw Willow and Tara lying in bed together, laughing and joking like they used to. She really hoped this was one thing that wouldn't change, because everything else had worked out so perfect apart from that. Willow had never gone over the edge with her spells, Jonathon, Andrew and Warren were in jail after her tipping the police off about their planned jewellery heist, Xander and Anya were still happily together, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she was completely happy in a relationship. Okay, so Spike wasn't exactly a normal guy, but she'd done the normal guy thing several times, and it had never turned out well. Admittedly, she'd done the vampire thing before as well, and that had turned out even worse, but it wasn't like Spike had a soul to lose, and she knew he'd never do anything to hurt her.

She was brought out of her thoughts when she glanced at the screen and saw herself attacked by buzz saws in the Trio's lair.

"Oh my God, how lame!" she said cockily to Spike, still not moving from her position on the couch. "You'd think if they wanted to kill me they'd actually use something useful like a time-bomb or a room with walls that moved in or something. I mean, sure, go for the geek look, but they've been tracking me all year and that's the best they can come up with? Don't you think, Spike?"

He paused for a moment, and then said, "How about, when they get out of jail, I give them some lessons in villainy, so that next time they try to kill you, it works? Is that what you want?"

"Yeah, that works. As long as these guys get a little better at it, you know?"

"You are a very strange girl."

Buffy looked up at him then, a questioning look on her face. "What? Why?"

He dodged the question, and instead nodded towards the screen, saying, "Look, that Amber bird made the opening credits. Must be nice for her."

Buffy looked over at the screen to see Tara there doing magic, with the words 'Amber Benson' written underneath in white. She smiled slowly. "I guess that means Tara's going be back in the scene then. A fully fledged Scooby again. That'll be nice for Willow."

"And for you. I know you miss the girl."

"Yeah," Buffy said. "Yeah, I do."

*******

"Is that your solution for everything, Spike? Get drunk?"

"Well, every time I try a more active approach, things just end up worse. At least by getting drunk I'm not gonna end up inadvertently staked by a certain Slayer we both know."

"When has taking a 'more active approach' made things worse?"

He looked down at her and grinned. "How about the time you found out I loved you and I chained you up in the basement?"

"Okay, good point."

"Or the time you rejected me so I made a robot version of you instead?"

"Well. . ."

"Or the time I came to Sunnydale to kill you because you broke me and Dru up, but ended up with this bloody chip in my head?"

"I guess. . ."

"Or the time. . ."

"Okay, I get it! Proactive Spike not of the good. Point proven. Now shut up and let me watch it."

"Well, you did ask, luv."

*******

"Looks like you decided to be Proactive Spike after all," Buffy said with a grin. "Good for you."

"I don't like this," Spike said slowly. "These things never turn out well, whether I mean them to or not."

"Well, maybe this time it'll be different, you know? You can't get all worked up over a few bad experiences, can you?"

"Well, that stings, pet."

"You know as well as I do this stuff is different. Besides, it's so obvious I'm being denial girl."

"You think?"

"I know."

Spike looked at the screen, when his doppelganger seemed to be trying to convince her it was true. "Looks like he knows too."

"Wait. What the hell. . ."

Buffy saw herself stumble and crack her back against the bathtub, Spike landing on top of her, pinning her down. "What the hell are you doing?!"

She was sitting up now, looking madly at Spike, but he didn't answer, just stared wide-eyed at the screen. He wanted to look away, but he was like a rabbit caught in the headlights, totally unable to stop watching what he was doing.

"Oh my God."

For a second Buffy thought she had spoken, then she realised it was Spike. He was standing up now, fists clenched, confusion all over his face.

"You got that right."

"What was that?! What. . . I wouldn't. . . I'd never. . ."

Buffy laughed bitterly. "Proactive Spike strikes again."

He turned to look at her then, as if he had only just remembered she was there. "God, Buffy, I'm sorry." He reached towards her but she jumped back, so that she was standing just out of his reach.

"Don't. . . don't touch me right now."

Spike hung his head, frowning. Then he turned and headed for the door.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"Away. I should have left the minute I found out I could hurt you."

"What? Why?"

"You saw what I did when I found out. I hunted you down to fight you. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened."

"But that never did happen!"

"But it could do," Spike said angrily, digging his fingernails into his palms so hard Buffy could see the slow trickle of blood coming out.

"I thought we agreed that what happened on the videos was nothing like what was really happening any more."

"Yeah, but that was fucking different, wasn't it? That wasn't this. You told me yourself you didn't want me to touch you." He set off towards the door again, but she hurried after him, teary eyed.

"I was confused! Seeing yourself almost get raped by a guy isn't something you get over straight away. I still love you."

"Yeah," he said bitterly. "Well, maybe you should rethink that one." And with that he swept out of the door and onto the street.

"Spike!"

He just kept going, breaking into a run as he disappeared into the shadows, not looking back.

*******

Buffy lay curled up on the couch, her eyes red as she watched the rest of the episode. A part of her wanted to go after Spike, but her voice of reason told her there was no point until they had both calmed down. Another part of her wanted to re-watch that scene, to find the proof that it was an accident, but most of her just wanted to watch it to the end to see what would happen.

She had waited for too long to see Spike appear on the screen again, and when he did it was in a way that reminded her of what she was sure Spike was doing now. He swept into his crypt, his face contorted with anger and guilt.

The screen flashed to show his thoughts, and she saw herself struggling on the bathroom floor. It was gone as suddenly as it had come, and the screen show Spike again. He turned and poured himself a drink, but then the screen flashed to show his thoughts again. The glass smashed in his hand as he squeezed it in frustration.

Buffy wiped more tears from her eyes as she realised that almost all the horrible things that had happened on the tapes were her fault. And she had blamed Spike for all of them.

That triggered something in Buffy's memory from a long time ago. What had he said, when they went to collect weapons to fight Glory? 'I know that I'm a monster, but you treat me like a man.' And after a year of treating him the way she did, he didn't even believe that anymore. Buffy felt sick.

She got to her feet, and stumbled glumly into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. She grabbed a tumbler and filled it from the tap, then went to the freezer to get some ice. She frowned as she saw the blood bags hanging there, then shut the door with a bang. She had forgotten those were there. He spent so much time at her house these days that she probably had more blood for him here than he had in his own crypt. He always needed blood. And marshmallows. She didn't know why, but he always seemed far more fussed when she didn't have marshmallows for his hot chocolate than if she didn't have anything else. *What a macho vampire,* she thought weakly. *What kind of evil villain craves marshmallows anyway? Shouldn't he be craving the still-beating heart of a young maiden or something stupid like that?*

Deciding against the ice, Buffy went slowly back into the living room, and almost dropped the glass at what she saw on the TV. Spike was riding his motorbike on the highway, leaving Sunnydale far behind.

"He left. He really left." She sank back down onto the couch, trying not to cry. *This isn't real,* she reminded herself. *This never happened, and will never happen.*

Now she was watching what she hoped would be the touching reconciliation moment between her and Xander. She hated it when they fought, even if it wasn't real.

Buffy giggled at that. It was funny how no matter how bad she felt, Xander could still make her laugh.

*Or boyfriend,* Buffy thought sadly. *Not much good without him either.*

Buffy jumped a mile when she saw Warren coming up the path, a gun raised in his hand.

He fired wildly bullets flying through the air. She saw herself shove Xander to the ground and out of the way, and breathed a sigh of relief that he was safe.

Then the screen changed to show a bullet fly through the upstairs window and hit Tara in the chest.

"Tara!"

Her eyes got blurry again as she saw Tara fall to the floor, Willow bending over her.

*It's not real,* Buffy tried to remind herself. *It's not real, it's not real, it's not real.*

But another voice broke into her thoughts. *It could be.* That's what Spike had said, right? It could be.

*But it isn't,* Buffy thought adamantly. *It's not going to happen. Everything's different now.*

She gasped as Willow threw her head back, her eyes black. The kind of black they went when she was about to use dark magick. Then, suddenly, then turned red.

It could be.

*Time to call the others,* Buffy thought wildly. *This has gone far enough.*

*******

Half an hour later all the Scoobies, minus Dawn and Spike, were gathered in the living room. As each one had arrived, they had asked about her tearstained face, but each time she had shook her head, telling them only that they would understand soon enough.

She had sat them all on the couch, then taken a deep breath and started to explain.

"Do you all remember that a couple of months ago Spike and I found out that our lives were a TV show?" They all nodded in confirmation, so she continued. "Well, I sorta ordered a few episodes."

"What do you mean, you ordered a few episodes?" Xander asked, eyes narrowed.

Buffy went over to her weapons chest, and rummaged around. A few seconds later she pulled the box sets out of their hiding places under the battle axes, and put them on the table in front of the others. "Here," she said. "These are them. Me and Spike have been watching them since we found out."

Anya picked the S6 box off the table and read the back of one of the videos. "But the back of this one says you became invisible. That never happened."

"No, it didn't. We found out that some of the tapes had stuff that hadn't happened yet on it. You know, stuff from the future."

"And you still watched them? What did I say about meddling with that?" Anya said, outraged. "Why does nobody listen to me? I said it was dangerous. Who knows what you've done by watching them!"

"We haven't done anything! Well, a few things have changed, but they're all good things. I saved a few lives is all. It's all of the good. I promise."

"How can you know? Something might have happened that you don't know about yet!" The ex-demon turned to her boyfriend for support. "Xander, tell her!"

"I don't know. I'm still freaked by the fact that people watch us on TV!"

Buffy chewed her lip, then said, "Well, you're gonna have to get used to it 'cause I've got an episode I think you ought to see."

"We can't watch that!" Anya said indignantly.

"Well, if Buffy wants us to see it," Willow said slowly, "then I guess we'd better see it. I mean, she's been keeping it secret from us for all this time, so to tell us now. . . it must be important."

*******

*This is way weird.* That was the only thought that was running through Willow's head at that moment. That, and *Yay! Me and Tara are gonna get back together.* She didn't get how Buffy and Spike could have done this night after night without getting seriously creeped out. It was so weird, watching yourself on TV doing stuff you'd never ever done.

Almost as if she'd read her mind, Buffy said, "I know it's weird. But you get used to it after a while, and you really need to see this. Just remember what I said. Just because it's shown here doesn't mean it's gonna happen. It took Spike and I a long time to figure that one out."

"It shouldn't be different at all," Anya said bitterly. "It should be *exactly* as it's shown here." Willow ignored her. She didn't know why Xander put up with her. She was always whining about something. Or embarrassing him. Or both.

"Okay, so who are these guys again?" Willow asked, waving her hand at the screen.

"You remember the guys I caught robbing that museum? Well, I didn't catch them on here. They kept doing geeky, 'world conquering' things. They're them."

"Oh. So are they like the bad guys?"

"Yep. They should've been our resident bad guys this year. Of course, I stopped them before they got the chance," Buffy said proudly.

"Good for you, Buff," Xander said, grinning, causing Anya to give him a steely glare.

*******

They'd watched almost half the episode, and the time had passed in silence apart from a few questions from each of them. Buffy side-stepped some of them, not wanting to talk about some of the stuff, such as Spike sleeping with Anya. That was an argument she didn't need to start right now.

She noticed suddenly that they were coming up to the 'bathroom scene'. She realised suddenly that that was what all the people in the chatrooms had been talking about. *No wonder they never actually mentioned it,* she thought bitterly. *It's bad enough without everyone talking about it.*

"Do you guys wanna skip this bit?" she asked quickly. "Nothing really important happens here. If you're all getting freaked out we could skip to the bit I wanted you to see."

"No," Anya said adamantly, while munching the popcorn she had nicked from the kitchen. "I wanna watch it."

"I thought you didn't agree with it. I thought it was dangerous."

"Yeah, well you've already watched it, so us seeing it can't do any more damage, right?" Buffy shook her head in despair at the girl, and then remembered what they were about to watch. Not wanting to be there when they saw it, she said, "I'm just going to get myself a drink."

She raced out of the room as fast as she could, and then lent against the counter, waiting for the explosion. She tried not to cry when she thought about what she'd seen. He'd never do that to her though, would he?

"BASTARD!"

Xander's cry carried through to the kitchen, and Buffy braced herself. A moment later he came storming towards her, Willow on his heels.

"I thought you said you and Spike were happy! I thought you said he wouldn't hurt you! Is that the sort of thing that's been going on between you two?"

"No, that's just. . ."

"Buffy," Willow said slowly, "I know you love him, but if he's going to do stuff like that, do you think it's wise to be with him?"

"He's not going to do that. I told you guys, everything's different now! That's not gonna happen."

"Then how come you came in here to avoid watching it?" Xander said accusingly. "And how come you're shaking right now."

"I'm not shaking," Buffy said, but it wasn't true. She hadn't realised it before that moment, but she was trembling all over, and there were tears in her eyes. "I just. . . I'm a bit upset at the moment. Who wouldn't be? But it doesn't matter. He'd never do anything to hurt me."

"But he obviously would!" Xander yelled. "That son of a bitch." He turned and headed towards the door. "I'm gonna make sure he never can."

"Don't." Buffy said it so quietly she barely heard it herself. He did though, and turned back to look at her. His eyes widened as if he was seeing her for the first time. She was bent over, leaning on the worktop for support. Tears were silently rolling down her face now, and she was trembling. He didn't see all that, however. All he saw was her eyes, wide and sorrowful, begging him to listen to her. "Please don't."

He nodded, trying to calm himself down. If Buffy was that desperate to stop him. . . he'd stop. After an awkward moment of silence, Buffy said, "We really should go back in. You haven't seen what I needed you to yet."

She walked shakily back to the living room, Xander and Willow following slowly behind. When she got back to the couch, Anya gave her a big grin, not seeming to have heard what was going on in the kitchen. "You missed some excitement! That Warren guy attacked this other guy and was super strong. Then Xander came to the rescue and got beaten up a bit. He was alright though. Then he came home and found you on the bathroom floor, and tried to go get Spike, but you wouldn't let him. Now you're researching some of Warren's files. It's very good TV. Like a soap opera, only more realistic!"

Buffy smiled and pretended to be interested. Sometimes she wished she could be Anya. Just happily plodding along, not noticing what was going on around her. Must be nice.

She turned back to the TV and registered that it was once again showing Spike storming around his crypt. She wondered what he was doing now. Probably drinking himself under the table. Either that or fighting a bunch of demons to get it out of his system. She'd go and see him tomorrow, when he'd calmed down or sobered up, whichever it was. For one thing she'd have to explain to him that their private TV viewings probably wouldn't be private any more. It seemed that Anya would definitely be tagging along.

*******

Buffy took a deep breath as she saw Spike leaving on his motorbike. *This is it,* she thought. *Showtime.*

"Okay," she said to her friends. "Just remember that it's very unlikely this will happen. I just had to show it to you all so that we can guarantee it never happens, okay?"

Everyone nodded, and carried on watching. Although they didn't want to admit it, both Willow and Xander had got as into the show as Anya had. They didn't know what Buffy wanted them to see, but they were both glad she was showing them. Apart from anything else, it was fun being able to see what the others were doing.

Buffy cringed and looked away as Warren fired wildly into the air.

"Tara!"

Buffy looked over at Willow, who was staring wild-eyed at the screen, tears already falling down her cheeks.

"Oh my God. Tara!"

The scene cut to show Buffy lying on the ground with a wound on her shoulder bleeding profusely.

"Buffy," Xander said quietly, also staring at the screen. Anya stopped eating popcorn then.

"Xander!" she said. "Xander! Is he okay? He's not shot too, is he?"

"Shut up, Anya!" Willow screeched, crying as the screen showed her again, cradling Tara's dead body in her arms. Then the TV Willow threw her head back, her eyes black with dark magic. The screen faded to black, and Buffy shakily reached forward and turned it off.

"I'm sorry guys," she said quietly. "I'm sorry, but I had to show you. I had to make sure it never happened."

"It won't," Willow said, her voice trembling as she got to her feet. "I'll make sure of it. I can't ever see Tara again. If I do then she'll die!"

"No!" Buffy said. "It's not like that. All the stuff we've seen hasn't happened. I just wanted to be sure."

"Well, now you can. I won't see her again. That'll make it sure. And what about my eyes at the end? I went all dark magicky. I. . . that can't happen. Tara left me because of that. It can't happen. It can't." Willow started shaking her head, tears spilling onto the floor. "I'm sorry. I can't, I can't do this right now." She started to run, and before Buffy could stop her she had disappeared up the stairs.

"Willow!"

Buffy started after her, but Xander grabbed her arm. "Leave her, Buffy. She's just seen the person she loves the most die. I don't think she wants you there telling her it wasn't real."

"But. . ."

"What were you thinking, Buff? Why did you show her that?"

"I wanted to be sure. . ."

"So you keep saying. Why didn't you just tell us? Saved her having to watch that? And, now I come to think of it, I didn't particularly enjoy watching you almost get raped by a monster I hate the guts of, then being told that it doesn't matter. Well, next time you want to ruin some people's feelings, leave me out. Come on, Anya."

He grabbed Anya's arm and pulled her towards the door.

"Xander, wait!"

He stopped and turned to face her, waiting for her to sat whatever she was going to in her defence. But she couldn't think of anything. After a moment he opened the door and left, leaving Buffy all alone. She sank down onto the couch, yet more tears forming in her eyes.

*Way to go, Buffy,* she thought bitterly. *That really worked out well.*

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Okay, next chapter up tomorrow. Please review!