Chapter Six - Because I love you
Manga: Chidaruma Tenshi (Angel covered in blood) by Tsukino Usagi
Excerpt:
If we die, what becomes of us?
a girl with waist length hair appears to be sinking into the ocean>
Do we go to heaven or another spiritual world?
a fish swims by>
No. Of course not. Thats not for me.
the girl's expression appears pained>
For I will never enter heaven - because I love you. Because I love, I will burn
in hell. Even if u leave me, I'm condemned. Maybe I don't love you after all.
the fish swims by, the girl is no longer in the picture>
Hikawa Jinja
"What!" exclaimed Minako after she arrived at the Hikawa Jinja to learn of Pluto's new guests. "Why is future me here? Last time I saw you we died." Minako set herself in line with the inner senshi while indignantly scolding her future self.
"Myself, it was imperative that we come here. In fact, the Queen threatened a court marshal if we didn't leave immediately. Do you honestly think I'd abandon Usagi-chan?" snapped Venus. Looking at the two of them did not give one the uncanny feeling of seeing double. Quite the opposite. Their faces and figures were identical but something in Venus' voice, a certain charm, a certain suggestive lilt, was yet to be achieved by Minako. Then there was the obvious difference of clothing. Venus wore, not her fuku, but a peach-coloured evening dress that hinted at what lay underneath but never revealed the secret, while Minako wore a dark green shirt which brought out the green in her eyes. All in all it looked like a teenager and mother in the middle of a silly argument.
While Minako was occupied with Venus, Setsuna turned to Pluto, all eyes on her.
"Pluto" she said, ackowleding her future self with a slight lowering of the head.
"Setsuna" replied Pluto and it seemed that they had conversed more than the love goddesses.
"Quite a paradox we have here huh Setsuna-san, time guardian meets herself. Somehow I expected something drastic to happen, like the end of the world as we know it!" grinned Haruka, who was maintaining physical contact with Michiru by stroking the ends of Michiru's skirt. Michiru turned away from the senshi to bestow an adoring and playful look at Haruka. Her hand slipped underneath the table and stroked Haruka's thigh. The more the wind senshi tried to speak, the higher the hand stroked. Needless to say, Haruka would be occupied with other things for the remainder of the meeting.
'Those two' thought Rei irritatingly. She was in a snappish mood and had yelled at just about everyone who came into yelling range.
"Paradoxes aside," answered Venus, "we're here to ensure the protection of the senshi while our comrades battle the enemy in the future."
"In the future!" exclaimed Ami who had remained observant until she could no longer hold back the multitude of questions she wanted to ask.
"Yes, the enemy is being waylaid in the future, we have disrupted their link to the past. We're out of danger, for now" said Pluto solemly, leaning against a white-washed wall.
"If we're out of danger then what's the point in being here?" questioned Makoto as she regarded Pluto and Venus.
"Makoto-san" interrupted Hotaru who was sitting behind Chibiusa, looking over her shoulder. "I believe it would be detrimental to the time stream and thats the reason they cannot reveal their purpose. We can trust Setsuna-mama in the present and the future to ensure our safety"
"Puu has her reasons and I'm sure Venus-chan does too. I think we should trust them with all we have. They're our friends after all." said Small Lady in childish words which seemed to ring truer than any flowery speech she would have made. She looked over at Usagi and Rei to ask for the approval of the last two senshi who had withheld their opinion.
Usagi stared into Venus' eyes until the deity of love flicked them away to rest on Pluto.
"I
have an inkling as to why you're here Venus but I have only
conjectures." Usagi glanced at Pluto. Then turned her eyes back to
Venus. "For now we'll take your word that the future is stable. I
suggest we all go home and have a good rest. When and if the time comes
we will be rested enough to fight our best."
"Yes, Usagi-chan, also I would like to propose something. I realize I'm not the leader in this century-" seeing Usagi shake her head, Venus continued, "I suggest, for safety sake, we make sure no senshi is ever alone and in a position to be cornered. Its harder to corner a senshi if another is constantly with her."
"Thats a sound idea Minako. It might inconveniece a little but I suppose it must be done."
Senshi business settled, the inners had plenty of questions for Venus and Pluto. How was the future? Am I still a chef? Do I have time to perform surgeries? Are corporations in existence or have they been abolished? Questions which could not be answered without breaking the oath of time. The future senshi avoided the questions easily and spoke of other, less incriminating things.
Soon everyone began to leave, pair by pair. Haruka and Michiru, Setsuna and Minako with their future selves, Chibiusa grabbing Hotaru's hand and talking excitedly in her ear, probably about a boy she'd met. Ami took leave with Makoto trying to place her jacket around the both of them for the evening was chilly. At last all those left in the room were Rei and Usagi.
Rei looked over at Usagi who seemed uncharacteristically on edge.
"My place?"
Minatoku - Hama Rikyu Detached Palace Garden
Setsuna walked a little ahead of the blonde who followed uncertainly. 'What is she doing? I mean the place is beautiful and under other circumstances I'd say it was meant to be romantic. If she doesn't stop walking with that scared expression on her face I think I might slap her, to bring her to her senses.'
Setsuna abruptly stopped walking, causing Minako to bump her nose into Setsuna's shoulder. Without a word she led them to a fairly secluded spot and they sat down on a bench.
"Minako, there's something you need to know. Its about when I found Pluto and Venus in my room. Its hard to say this but-" Setsuna staggered but was stopped curtly by Minako's hand held up in front of her face.
"Let me guess, they were kissing, making out, almost doing the deed" said Minako with nonchalance. Setsuna stared at her and then her eyes narrowed.
"Don't worry Setsuna, I didn't need to break any time rules to know how I would behave. You said at the meeting you found them in your room. Then I saw Venus' dress had a rip down its side which looked like it was caused by a perfect fingernail slice. I also noticed that Pluto's shirt buttons were buttoned only enough to cover her skin, the rest were left open hazphazardly, a thing I know you never do."
"And this doesn't make you in the least bit uncomfortable?" prodded Setsuna with a gentle smile.
"If you're asking me wether it bothers me to be with you in the future - No, it does not. I know it was inevitable. We've run from each other more than an entire track team put together. I went to England for a year to get rid of you but ended up moving back in 3 weeks. You throw yourself in your work pretending that we're acquaintances, friends at most." Minako said, her voice contained a trace of hurt over the last sentence.
"I know. I always thought that if I ignored it, it would go away. The truth is that we're both afraid of getting hurt. I, because I know what true loneliness is and how painful it is to return to it after taking a lover. You, because you are the Godess of Love. You see love, give it, bathe in it and yet you are afraid to experience such an all-consuming fire. I'm afraid I won't give enough to sustain us while you're afraid that you'll give so much that we'll be burdened." Setsuna's eyes had taken on that far away look which was often used when talking about the Silver Millenium. "The question is - what now?"
"Now" said Minako with a smile on her lips, "now we watch the stars"
Rei's place
Usagi sat on Rei's bed with the satin sheets clinging to her almost bare body. The apartment was pleasantly cool but Satin sheets made Usagi "icky". She was drawing the next issue to her manga while waiting for Rei to get out of the shower. 'Why is she in there for so goddamned long? Its been over an hour and a half. No one, not even a pissed off Rei, needs that much time in the bathroom.'
Meanwhile, Rei sat on the edge of the empty bathtub fully dressed and cleaned, as she had been an hour ago. For one hour Hino Rei, a woman no longer an adolescent with uncontrollable hormones, sat on the uncomfortble space because she dreaded sleeping beside her best friend. Rei's thoughts were too chaotic to make any cohesive sense but whatever they were, they made her dread even more. She managed to stop the shivering in her shoulders and got up. 'This is ridiculous. Why should she spend the night in my bed? This is one of the reasons I moved to my apartment, no excuse for her to stay in my bed. No reason for me to fear my body position in my sleep. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it.' She headed out and into the bedroom. 'God! she's barely covered. Whoever wears a lace bra and shorts to sleep in winter!'
Usagi looked up to see Rei dressed in pajamas that seemed to highly irritate Rei. "Rei you can wear a t-shirt or something. It is just me. You look so uncomfortable in that. Why don't you wear whatever it is that you usually do. I don't mind."
"Because, Odango, I don't wear bedclothes" said Rei as she slid into bed and hogged her share of the sheets.
"Don't wear bedclothes? No one wears real bed- Oh!" the meaning suddenly struck Usagi and she blushed so much that she had to look down and pretend to concentrate on drawing.
"What do you have there?" Rei inquired politely, leaning into Usagi a little, to see the picture better. "Your new manga volume. Well so what happened to the girl? Did she drown?" asked Rei. She had always been impatient over things and hence never finished watching a soap opera or reading a romance novel.
"Thats the fun part Rei-chan! I can't spoil it for you. Even though you make fun of me I saw the collector sets of my Manga you have. They cost a small fortune. Besides, even I don't really know, myself. I'm making it along as we go" explained Usagi as though she were to explain to an uneducated lass who didn't know a thing about manga, which Rei did only through reading a few funny ones.
"Making it up along the way seems a little risky, doesn't it. Aren't you afraid you'll mess it up?" said Rei cocking her head to the right and laying her ear onto her hand.
"Not really. I don't do this for money or fame, you know that. I do it merely because I want to put into words what I feel. It doesn't really matter if the manga is popular. I know I'll always have you to come back and cry to" here she smiled in a coquettish way which completely immobilized Rei.
'She seems less angry now. I wonder whats going on with her. She doesn't talk to me like she did before. Maybe she knows that I - No. If she knew, she'd say something. She's horrible at lying to me. She's sprawled with her eyes closed now. She looks so peaceful. Its almost strange for a person whose element is fire to be so calm. If there is one thing I know about Rei, its how volatile she is. Yet somehow, these days especially, she seems less agitated.' Usagi was snapped out of her thoughts when Rei mumbled something. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that again?"
"I said I'm going to sleep. Put work away and come to bed." repeated Rei as she moved positions trying to get comfortable. Usagi kept the unfinished drawing on the armoire and slipped underneath the sheets. The bed was large enough for them to sleep quite apart. They slept on extreme ends of the bed.
Rei's place : 2am
Rei was pulled out of a dreamless sleep. Something had disturbed her peace but she didn't know what it was yet. Then all of a sudden Rei realized that she wasn't on the edge of the bed anymore and neither was Usagi. No, Usagi was quite close. Too close. She was practically draped over Rei. Her entire body was wrapped around the fire senshi as though seeking a constant heat source.
'Thats just great. I'm aroused by the almost naked Usagi even in my sleep. God must really hate me to do this. First I fall in love with my best friend who's engaged to be married. Then I almost make her daughter roadkill when picking her up from high school. Then I tell her fiance that he's not good enough for her. If she knew all these things I wonder what her reaction would be.' Usagi murmured in her sleep and Rei strained to listen.
"No. Stop it. Please. Let them go." Usagi murmured.
'She's having nightmares from the battles. I hate it. I hate this. She shouldn't have had to do it. Its unfair.' Usagi's nightmare seemed to be escalating. Suddenly, with no preamble, Usagi jerked away and fell off the bed. She lay there disoriented for a few seconds. Realizing what had happened she got up and crawled back onto the bed.
"Usagi?" said Rei tentaively, unsure wether she should make her presence apparent.
"Rei. You're awake. Can't sleep?"
"Something like that. Do you want to go back to bed?"
"No. I don't think I can sleep anymore."
"Want some coffee?" asked Rei.
4am -
"Amazing. We downed 3 pots of coffee." giggled Usagi. She felt relaxed and at ease. She and Rei had talked for quite a while and neither of them wanted to budge. Usagi found out that Rei was planning an expansion of her company in Hokkaido. Rei found out that Usagi was thinking about quitting the business.
"I still don't think you should quit. Despite my constructive criticism, you're very good at drawing manga. Not only that, your stories are meaningful. People learn things and are left with a feeling of having gained something precious. Its a powerful gift Usa. You shouldn't throw it away." said Rei, still adamant that Usagi be the best she could be. Usagi traced the rim of her cup and thought of the reasons she wanted to quit.
"I don't really want to quit but I can't write anymore. There are nights when I rip everything I draw because somehow it feels wrong. It feels wrong to write about happiness when I don't experience it. It feels wrong to write about a happy end when I know it don't exist. It feels wrong to write about true lov-" Usagi stopped abruptly, realising that she had already said too much. Rei knit her eyebrows together.
"Continue that sentence Usa" said Rei sternly. A thousand thoughts ran through her head. 'Is she unhappy? Is that idiot Mamoru mistreating her? If he is I swear to any God that I'll kill him. I knew from the beginning he didn't deserve her.'
Usagi, somewhat intimidated, continued her sentence in a whisper. "It feels wrong to write about true love when I've never felt it" Usagi saw Rei's shell shocked expression. Minutes passed by while Rei stared into Usagi's tearful eyes.
"You love Mamoru-san in the past, present and future. Isn't that your 'true love'?" said Rei with a bitterness in her voice that she couldn't hold back.
"He's not. I can't explain whats happened but I don't love him anymore. I don't think I ever did. I felt so helpless against Serenity's love for him but I'm not Serenity. She loved him. I don't. Its really as simple as that. Still, I stayed with him for Chibiusa. I never wanted her to dissapear. It was horrible seeing it when we fought Galaxia. I couldn't live if it actually happened. So here I am, stuck in an engagement with a man I don't love, living a life of total lies." sighed Usagi, suddenly tired. She stood up. heading to the room, not pausing to see the look of pain pass Rei's face. Usagi went to the room and lay down. Rei soon followed her and stretched out beside her.
They both lay there in silence for a while. Then Usagi rolled over and placed her hand on Rei's cheek. "You're beautiful" whispered Usagi breathelessly. She kissed the side of Rei's mouth and then settled her face in the hollow of the stunned woman's neck. Usagi then promptly fell asleep. Rei lay in bed, sleep eluding her. She puzzled over Usagi's behaviour and how she had gone from talking about Mamoru to calling her beautiful. She hated to admit it but it had felt good to be enveloped in Usagi's arms, to be called beautiful. It felt too good. Even now, Usagi's warm breath caressed Rei's neck, sending shivers though her body and jolts to lower areas. Rei didn't fall asleep that morning.
10am -
Crash! The cup slipped from Rei's hand and smashed against the floor, shattering. "Sorry" muttered the distracted miko and reached for another cup to pour Usagi and then herself some coffee. She discarded the shards. Having had no sleep the entire morning while Usagi used her as a body pillow made the firebird clumsy and slightly irritated. She handed Usagi her coffee and sank into the opposite chair. They drank in relative silence. Usagi, unfazed by the sleepless miko, sipped her drink while smiling at it.
"I have to go to work in an hour Usa. Do you need to be dropped off somewhere?" asked Rei, hoping fervently that Usagi did not need a ride. If Usagi remained in such close proximity Rei might do something they both would regret.
"You can't go to work. That was one of the inconvevniences I was talking about last night. We have to remain together at all times. Besides, how long has it been since you've taken a vacation? I know you never fall sick, you've never taken a vacation and I heard from your secretary that you even come in on sundays. Its madness Rei! This will be good for you, you'll see." Usagi rose and walked over to Rei. She hugged the girl then kissed her cheek. However, she had lingered and Rei had felt her warm breath against her own relatively cool face.
'This is how it would be. It would be no different. If Usagi and I had spent the night doing something besides sleeping and talking, this is the way we would act.'
11am -
Rei sat in the tub, letting all the tension of the night melt into the water. She had expected it to be hard to sleep near Usagi but she had never been prepared for all that happened. Outside the slightly open door she heard Usagi call the office to arrage a long vacation for her. Rei flashed an irritated glance at the door. Usagi's leaving the door open would do nothing to stop an enemy from separating them. Rei heard Usagi hang up the phone and make her way to the bathroom.
"All done. Now you can just rest fo-" Usagi's words faded as she realised that she'd just walked in to see a very naked Rei in the bathtub. She blushed and turned away. Rei, extremely conscious, snapped at Usagi asking her what she wanted.
"I just wanted to let you know that I called the office. They know you're on vacation. So ... umm.. you can relax." stammered Usagi, unable to get the image of Rei out of her mind.
"Well thats just great. Fine. You had your way. Now could u please pass me the towel?" Rei said in an annoyed voice. Usagi took the towel and went towards the tub while averting her eyes sideways. If you've ever fallen because of a wet floor and because you weren't watching where you were going, you'd realise that Usagi's inevitable fall into the tub was purely accidental. She absolutely did not want to fall in a tub full of water which happened to have a nude senshi in it.
Seeing Usagi fall, Rei had instinctively reached out, so that now she had one hand on the small of the princess' back and one on her shoulder. Usagi had managed to, purely accidentally of course, fall with both hands bracing the back of the tub with Rei's head between them. The thigh of her left leg loomed threateningly close to the spot in between Rei's legs that seemed to be controlling her thoughts and actions. Neither of them moved for a few seconds, waging a war with their eyes. Then Usagi dropped her thigh, causing Rei to bite her lip from crying out. Usagi got out of the tub, soaked to the skin.
ne ne high time for some Rei/Usagi action. don't worry I haven't forgotten the other couples but its kinda hard to cram everything into a chapter. If you're wondering what the hell happened to the Epousers, stop wondering. You'll only cause yourself pain by witnessing my neglect on the villians.
