PRE FIC RANTINGS AND A SPRINKLE OF DISCLAIMER: You know how the grass is always greener on the other side? And how things never turn out exactly the way you want them to? Well, Sammy's old keyboard had this defective 'm' key that sometimes didn't want to cooperate. My NEW computer's keyboard has a similarly disobedient 'g' key and a 'd' key that always takes three taps to work. Just goes to show.
Now, whatever, does this have to do with the fic, you might wonder? Well, let's just say you can either take it as a Yamora, a Taito, or a crappy attempt at justifying the infamous last five minutes of ep. 50 of 02. w00t.
Don't own Digimon, but would like to offer Yamato some serious counseling. This is written... um... differently. Present tense and like a script. Err, you'll see.

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Sweetest Thing

Izzy Girl

"Funny how something so simple is the hardest thing in the world to ask."

"It wouldn't be so hard, if only..."

"If only? Yamato, if only the world were a perfect place full of perfect people, wouldn't life be perfect?"

"Yeah..." [Yamato sighs heavily and lights a cigarette taking a heavy drag before continuing. (This takes too long and the pause between his words makes them almost awkward) ] "I guess I'm being a bit silly, aren't I?" [A nervous laugh. Nervous laughter does not suit Yamato.]

" 'Silly' is not the word I would use. You're being... irrational. And rash." [Sora shakes her head and turns her gaze towards the kitchen slightly, where Gabumon (sensing a nee for privacy) took Biyomon in search of food (or some other such convenient excuse). She looks back to Yamato and shrugs.] "I suppose that I don't completely understand where your..." [she forces this word out] "... proposal came from. It's rather sudden."

"Not really. We've been dating for," [Yamato counts on his fingers (he's never been a great math student. He was always better with words having been raised by a pair of journalists).] "Five years now. Well, I guess this past year hasn't really counted ever since I put the singing on a hiatus of sorts and..."

[Sora cuts him off.] "Note the quotation marks we always used when talking about our relationship. Note how Mimi always giggles whenever someone brings it up;" (can't keep a secret unless it's important) "how Koushiro gets all awkward and hesitant when someone tries to talk about it;" (gives away everything in his mannerisms unintentionally) "Jyou gets all smug about it and the kids all wink and smile at each other knowingly. And God knows Taichi always got the biggest kick out of it, even though he had the hardest role to play." [she looks at Yamato searchingly. He sucks on his cigarette and soaks the words in] "We never even tried to pretend it was real, so why all of a sudden..." [she inhales deeply, glances at the kitchen again, then at the coffee table (strangely tidy. It was never that way when Taichi...).] "I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought up..."

"It's... okay." [Yamato finishes his cigarette and crushes the tip on the edge of his empty coffee mug. His gaze flickers almost longingly towards the door where an open luggage box is laying haphazardly with a few university texts poking out and a sock hanging over the edge. Yamato lights up another cigarette (Sora almost asks him not to, but notices the sadness that is beginning to dominate his fair features).]

"It was so sudden." [she tips her head upwards and watches the lazy patterns of smoke unraveling their way towards the ceiling.] "For all of us. I mean, granted you two fought so much it bordered on ludicrous, but that was just how you two were." [she pauses and studies Yamato's face. Her voice lowers.] "You just seemed so happy."

[Yamato isn't smoking this cigarette, just twirling it between his fingers and watching the orange ring ash the paper down towards the center.] "We were. The fighting wasn't the problem."

"Oh." [folds her hands in her lap.] "What was the problem?"

[Yamato crooks a pale eyebrow at her as if to say if she were anyone else but Sora Takenouchi he would have kicked them out of his apartment then and there.] "There's not really much to say about that." [He relaxes an leans back, finally taking a drag from the dwindling cigarette. The spent ash falls to the floor and scatters against the carpet. Yamato (usually a fanatical neat-freak) does not notice this.] "I don't really understand it myself. I guess in the end we both just had a different definition of happiness." [He chuckles. An ugly forced noise.] "Strange how you can love someone so much only to move in with them and discover that you're totally wrong for each other."

[Sora honors the pain in Yamato's voice with a respectful silence. When she feels like this due has been paid, she says:] "Well, then I don't see how you expect this arrangement to work."

[Yamato answers quickly.] "I want a family. Don't you?"

"Well... yes..." [Sora shifts uncomfortably.] "I just don't..."

"We're just friends. The best marriages are built on friendship. Marriage isn't about love and reckless desire. It's a partnership."

[Sora raises an eyebrow and gives Yamato an incredulous look.] "Yamato, we both come from broken homes, remember. I don't exactly trust you opinions on the institution of holy matrimony anymore than I trust my own." [she grins, almost wryly, but mostly truthfully.] "Aren't I the wrong gender anyways?"

[Yamato blushes an snuffs out his cigarette (thankfully, he does not reach for a third).] "And so we come back to the exact point I was trying to make in the first place."

"Which is?"

"That you understand. You know me and you understand and... I wouldn't have to lie."

"Ah." [Sora nods somberly. She is beginning to understand.] "But what if I meet someone?"

"I'll let you go, of course. You'd be my wife, not my prisoner." [He leans forwards in his seat and begins straightening the magazines and papers on the table (they were already neat).] "Gods, Sora, who do you think I am?"

"What if you meet someone?"

[This one gives Yamato pause. He takes his hands away from the table and knits them together.] "I won't."

"But..."

"Haven't we been through this already? I wasted all my capacity for mindless devotion an obsessive puppy love. I'm looking for something a bit more permanent."

"Oooh. And a wife who doesn't love you and is prepared to divorce you at the drop of a hat is much more secure than your honest fool, wandering-eyed Yagami."

[Yamato looks faintly insulted.] "Sora, you're not like that."

"Well, if we don't love each other what's the point? I'm reallly missing something here, Yamato, aren't I?" [Sora is obviously beginning to lose her patience.]

"True Friendship lasts longer than any other sort of affection." [Yamato grins faintly.] "Trust me, I would know."

"And romantic love conquers all." [Sora's lip twists.] "You forget that I too am, in the end, a caricature of my crest. But I think I'm beginning to see your point."

"So we've achieved bargaining ground?"

[Sora considers.] "Ask me again in three months." [Yamato nods, but she cuts off the gesture sharply.] "There is, however, one condition."

[Yamato looks almost afraid to ask. His left hand stops between the arm of his chair and his cigarettes apprehensively.] "Condition?"

[Sora nods and stands, pulling on her coat and doing up the buttons. She smiles at him, a genuine and encouraging smile.] "Call Taichi." [he chokes out a protest and she shakes her head.] "I don't care if it's to give him the rest of his things or to just talk, but I want you to call him and I want to hear about it from him, otherwise..." [she paused reflectively. Calls out to the kitchen.] "Biyomon! We're leaving!" [The buoyant digimon bounds out of the kitchen a bit too eagerly. Sora nods to Yamato and then she is gone.]

[Yamato stares at the open-lidded box for a long time. At some point, Gabumon asks him what he wants for dinner (he doesn't remember making an audible reply. More something like a shrug and a mumbled "whatever."). Finally, when the sun is beginning to dip down beneath the horizon he rises and picks up the phone, dialing the number he has memorized a thousand times but never actually dialed. (He almost hopes no one picks up and when they do, he notes the differences in the voice- The freedom and the easiness- and wants to cry.) ]

"Hi, Taichi?" [Suddenly, the looseness is gone from the other end and Yamato can taste the terror and tenseness rising. He gulps and uses every ounce of will power he possesses not to hang up.] "It's me..."

[end?]

?in the stillness of the memory of what you lost and what you can't have

POST FIC REFLECTIONS: Wah. I don't know how I feel about this. How do you feel about it, Rusty?
Rusty: "Wah! I want Yama and Taichi to get back together!" *cries*
Jenn: *grumbles* "I should have know better than to ask him. Koushiro?"
Koushiro: "... I can SO keep a secret!"
Jenn: *sweatdrop*
*sincerely
Jenn Sparky Young aka Izzy Girl aka Cephied Variable
cephied_variable@yoishness.zzn.com

- 26/7/03 12:46-120 AM