It's the end of the world.

Medea Potter strained against the magic restraints that strapped her to the cold ass stone wall behind her, unfortunately they held good. 'Damn it all to hell' she thought. She rolled her eyes to her left and noticed Sirius doing the same thing. That's when she spoke up.

"Well Siri, we've really stepped in it this time." Sirius snorted.

"SILENCE!" The angry snaky voice thundered. Voldemort glared at the two spies before him.

"Silence, he says, silence. Well Voldie baby you wouldn't be silent if you had a mossy, slimy rock poking you in the ass." Medea snapped sarcastically.

Voldemort came forward and slapped her for her impertinence. "How dare you be so.so.vocal, in my presence?"

Medea's head swam with the slap, and her ears were ringing, but she wasn't about to let him win.

"What'd you do that for? I thought you wanted a conversation. YOU ONLY WANT ME FOR MY BODY!!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Medea whined in such a high pitch that Voldemort pushed his fingers
into his ear slits.

Sirius snickered, finally getting the gist of what she was trying to
do, he decided to join in.

"YOU BASTARD!!! You only captured us because you want Medea, she'll never want you! Hell she didn't want me! She's a lesbian you snake headed freak!" Sirius yelled at Voldemort, Medea tried not to laugh at the lesbian comment.

"I like chicks, assholio." She then stuck her tongue out.

"SHUT UP!!!!" Voldemort exploded.

They both snapped their lips shut and watched him in awe, his eyes were all glowy and he was sweating from pure aggravation.

"I want to know Dumbledore's plan, what is it?" Voldemort snarled.

"Well Dumbleydore doesn't tell me anything, so I don't know. I'm just the resident vamp expert. Ask Sirius." Medea said grinning, hoping that Sirius would give him hell, she wasn't disappointed.

"Well Black? What is Dumbledore plotting? Don't make me kill the girl, even though I might. She isn't any use to me now."

Sirius looked at Voldemort with narrowed eyes, "You can't kill her because she is the plan."

"Elaborate, blood traitor." Voldemort snarled.

"Well," Sirius said somberly, "She is supposed to unite all of the militant lesbian witches in Europe. With this extreme man-hating power Dumbledore hopes to turn them against the biggest misogynist of them all, you."

Voldemort looked back and forth between the two of them, both of their faces were serious as could be.

"An army of bull-dykes?" He said incredulously, "Yes that sounds like a plan Dumbledore would come up with."

"How dare you use THAT WORD!!?? You sexist bastard! You're just jealous that we get more tail than you do!!!!" Medea screamed at him.

"Silence, foolish girl, and prepare to see the end of the world as you know it!" Voldemort smirked.

Medea and Sirius broke out in song at the same time, off key. "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, AND I FEEL FIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEE!"

Voldemort's head exploded, and the shackles loosened.

As soon as they were free Medea punched Sirius, "Why in the hell did you tell him that I'm a lesbian?!"

Sirius held his jaw, "Well you've never been with a guy and you've never kissed anybody I know. So it's either you're a lesbian or a suckass kis.."

He couldn't get the rest out because Medea launched herself at him and snogged him like he had never been snogged before. Sirius did it right back while the remains of Voldemort smoldered behind them.