Okay a HUGE thanks to ZilentZombie for contributing the Captain Canada song to the good cause!!
Back on the liner
"Okay Gambit you will be sharing a room with Bobby this time!" The Professor informed the Cajun
"Ohh Merde!"
"Oh Goody!"
"But Professor, me and Kurt will share and then Bobby can have my room!" Mel piped up
"Don't be so stupid! That's indecent!" Scott and Jean exclaimed shocked in unison. Yuck!
"Scott and Jean are right" the Professor agreed
The Summers did a freaky little celebration dance
"Idiot's!" Jubes growled in their direction
The next morning
"What's wrong Gambit?" I asked the X-man who was wandering around like a member of the night of the living dead cast, and who was strangely wearing a baseball cap
"Dat…dat boy!?"
"Who? Bobby?"
"Oui! First of all he sat banging my head….but Gambit could sleep through dat, den I woke up like dis!" Gambit took off his hat and revealed the monsters handy work
Gambit's once luxurious long hair was now marred by a shaved section right down the middle.
I inhaled air quickly "It's hideous!!" I couldn't lie
"You fink dat dis is bad…it wasn't just my head dat he shaved!"
I looked at him as sympathetically as I could with out laughing "Don't worry Gumbo, hair grows back!" and with that I was gone.
I walked down to find Kat in her room, however as I approached the door I saw it was wide open and Kat was curled in a tight ball hand over ears.
"What's up?" I asked
Kat pointed to the ceiling, from where banging sounds, screams and gasps for air could be heard.
"Isn't that…?" I said worriedly
"Kurt's room!" Ev's voice came from behind me
"D'ya think that they're…"
"Undoubtedly"
Me and Ev both looked at each other, if the Summers ever found out.
We both ran up to Kurt' room and banged unceremoniously on the door, it opened surprisingly quickly considering what they were doing? And what they were doing was circus tricks, yes you heard right CIRCUS TRICKS!! Mel was being taught how to walk a tight rope, and kept falling off hence the banging, causing her to scream in frustration and Kurt to sigh exasperated. Funny how clear things become in the light of day!
In the bar
As Mel and Kat were still spending all of their time with their new boyfriends, Hank and Gambit were still taking their place. Today's conversation was revolving around the Institutes lookers, hell the world's lookers and mingers!
"Well, I think that old Colossus is pretty damn fine and he's sooo tall!" I pointed out to the group all of whom nodded in agreement. "And have you seen the guy's hands, talk about swoon!"
"I agree after all tall men are always, you know, more attractive!" Jubes said taking a sip of her Malibu
Both Hank and Gambit perked up at this comment, both being taller than average.
"I wouldn't let Wolverine hear you say that!" Hank commented
"MMmmm…you know Hank, you were quite a looker in your time, not to say you ain't now but when you were our age you was a damn fine piece of real estate!" Jubes said earnestly.
"You should have told the girls in my school that! They thought I was ugly!"
"Awww bless! Hank that's really sad we would have loved you right gals!" Ev said
"Course we would! Those girls must have been blind and you're such a nice fella! And look at those lovely muscles who would say no?" Me and Jubes said together before giggling insanely about doing so.
"You know Gambit too was called ugly!" Remy moaned, waiting for us to tell him how good looking he was too, unfortunately he would have to wait on.
"Really! So what is your opinion on Sam Gunthrie? He can look really you know drool worthy one day then the next he look's like some kind of monster!" Ev asked
"I think he's a monster all the time personally, I mean have you looked at his ears?" I snorted; he didn't meet my standards at all.
"You know da girls used to say dat Gambit had funny eyes!" Gambit was still fishing for a compliment
"Really! Anyway so who have you got your eye on at the moment Henry?" I asked Hank
"Well, no one in particular although I do think that Storm is a very nice specimen of a female!"
"Come on Hank you do not, I repeat do not refer to women as specimens! They like to feel special, sheesh no wonder your single!" Evelyn said giving him a playful tap on the arm
"Really, you know I'm rather bad with the female of the species!"
Gambit perked up "Really? Dat's Gambit speciality!"
"You know females aren't such an enigma, their just the same as every other human/mutant on the planet, all this stuff about us being complex is rubbish right?" Jubes informed him curtly as we nodded our heads in agreement.
"What so you think of Wolvie? He's got a nice body!" Jubes said leaning into the table so Wolverine wouldn't hear us from where he had just walked through the door.
"It is my opinion that Wolverine has some of the best defined muscles in the X-men and is certainly the most…er….manly of us!" Hank interjected as Gambit scowled
"And he's got nice hands and sideburns!" Ev pointed out for my benefit (she knew my feelings on hand's and sideburns!)
"Yuck! He's like really old and besides he's got such an attitude! Look at him he's so bloody cocksure!" I said glancing at him out of the corner of my eye as he strutted to the bar before pulling out a cigar.
"I'm wit da petite wit dis one!" Gambit nodded in agreement
An hour later
Wolverine who had left the bar earlier had now returned and had sat at a new table. Hank sprang up from his seat and knocked Kat off of the stage unceremoniously, grabbing the microphone out of her hands.
"Ladies and Gentlemen I am proud to present the Retribution X choir singing their debut hit Captain Canada!" He had the air of Missy Elliot at the beginning of the 'Lady Marmalade' Video.
Ev and Jubes rushed onto the stage and I cowered behind them peering over Jubes shoulder from time to time as we launched into song.
"Captain Canada!
Captain *hic* Canda!
He has these huge sideburns,
So sometimes we call him Elvis,
Captain *hic* Canada!
Captain Canada!"
Kat then jumped onto the stage to join in, even though she neither knew the words or the tune but hell, when did that ever stop her??
"We heard that someone once tried to shave all his body hair,
Then we heard her body was buried over there! We all pointed in different directions
Captain **Hic** Canada!
Captain Canada!
He drinks alot of beer!
Captain **Hic** Canada!
Whatever you do don't drink it,
**Hic**
Cause He can smell your fear!
Captain Canada!"
Wolverine
shot us a murderous glare before putting on that pre-beserker
rage potato face.
Captain Canada!
**Hic**
Captain Canada! SNICKT
He doesn't look to happy right now!
We think He's about to have a cow!
So we're going to leave now!
*We all sang as we ran in different directions* Captain Canada!"
We bolted for the door, but alas, Kat got distracted by a shiny nickel on the floor so she was the one who faced his wrath. We heard her screams as we ran to the bottom levels of the ship, she was either singing again as a way to deter him, or she was in a lot of pain!
Oh this is the time where you review me!! Come on, you know you want to!
