Ranma - Mallet Happy!
Mallet Happy![PG]
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson


Summary: Just a stupid little song based on Weird Al's 'Trigger Happy'.

Disclaimer: Ranma ½, the characters, Trigger Happy and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as iamhawk@yahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.

*** Writer Rant ***

Regarding mallets.

Well, it's certainly more common in fics then in either the anime or the manga and don't you worry about it, my own fics defenetively don't see as much mallet action as the average Ranma ½ fic. This little thing is merely the result of reading Ranma ½ fanfiction for nearly two hours prior to going to sleep, then getting up way too early in the morning afterwards with Weird Al playing in the background.

This little thing just popped into my head and I just had to get it down before I forgot all about it.

*** Writer Shutting Up ***




Mallet-Happy

Got a mallet, well you know it makes me feel all right.
Got a piglet by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night.
There's no feeling any greater.
Then to smack first and ask questions later.
Now I'm mallet happy, mallet happy every day.

Well, you can't take my mallet away, I got a litterary right.
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the pervert attacks me tonight.
I'll bash his brain in with my trusty Mallet & Wesson.
That ought to teach the freak a darn good lesson.
Now I'm mallet happy, mallet happy every day.


CHORUS
Oh yeah, I'm mallet, mallet happy
Yes, I'm mallet, mallet happy
(Oh baby, I'm) mallet, mallet happy
Yes, I'm mallet, mallet happy
(Oh, I'm so) mallet, mallet happy
Yes, I'm mallet, mallet happy
Better watch out, Ranma, or I'm gonna have
to blow you away.


Oh, I accidentally made Daddy cry last night in the den.
I misstook him in the dark for a perverted pig-tailed boy again.
Now why'd you have to get so sad?
It's just a lousy flesh wound, Dad.
You know I'm mallet happy, mallet happy every day.

Oh, I still haven't figured out how to control my temper yet.
Little P-Chan took a smack, better take him to the vet.
I gave that piglet a whack in the head, killed him dead.
Now I'll have to use him as a decoration instead.
Well, I'm mallet happy, mallet happy every day.

CHORUS

Come on and grab my ass.
What have you got to lose?
I'll get all infuriated.
And smack at everything that moves.

Got a brand new stainless steel mallet, what a sight.
Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight.
I always keep a mallet in my trunk.
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?
Because I'm mallet happy, mallet happy every day.

CHORUS


The End! ( For now... )