Chapter 5 - Awakening in the Dark
It's been two days since they told us Willow was waking. So far, all we've seen are a few twitches, and we've heard a single moan. It's worrying. We just don't know what sort of shape she's going to be in when she wakes.
We've been thrown out of her room, as they're changing dressings. Xander's sitting beside me, and I know he's desperate to leave. Between his new-found relationship with Anya and his natural dislike of hospitals, he's not comfortable, but he is loyal. He can be irritating, ignorant, idiotic, but he's loyal. He's here because it's Willow.
"Go home, Xander," I tell him. "I doubt anything's going to happen tonight, and I'm planning on staying a bit longer. Go and see Anya."
His face lights up at the prospect, then falls again as he feels he can't do it.
"It's ok, Xander. I'll be here, and I'll let you know if anything happens."
He bounds up, and I get the irresistible picture of a huge puppy, complete with wagging tail, who knows he's going for a good, long walk. I haven't had that picture from Xander for a while, not since High School.
"Thanks, Giles," he mutters, but his thoughts have already left the hospital. He's gone.
I sigh with relief. When I'm sure he's gone, I go to the public telephone. I had to wait until the right time, and the right time would never be while Xander's here. I call my home, and Jenna answers. She's on her way.
She arrived in the country yesterday, and she's staying at my flat. She's one of the most senior members of the coven, and she's been sent to attempt to remove Willow's power. I know Xander will ask questions, maybe he'll even already know about the risks involved in the procedure we're planning, and try to stop it. He's too trusting.
While I'm waiting, a posse of staff come out of Willow's room, and they're muttering among themselves. I'm concerned, particularly when the doctor approaches me. "Mr. Giles," he starts, and I suspect it's going to be bad news.
"Miss Rosenberg, it's very unexpected, of course, and I really can't explain it."
"Spit it out, man. Is she dead? Is that what's going on?"
"No, … no. As you know, we had to change her dressings. It's policy in cases such as these to disturb the injury as little as possible, but we had to redress the burns. But, it doesn't need dressing."
"What do you mean?"
"Perhaps it'd be best if you just come and see."
He leads me into the room where I last saw Willow swathed in white, totally unrecognisable. The bandages are gone. Willow looks …. Well, not normal. Her skin looks to be healing from terrible injury, but that's just it. She's healing. Her face and hands are red and angry looking, but the skin's complete.
"What?" I manage.
"I wish I knew," mutters the doctor. "I've been treating burns for twenty years, ten of them in Sunnydale, and I've seen some damn funny things, but I've never seen a case like this."
I nod, and sit beside the bed. If I was worried before, I'm petrified now. I imagine the power that must have been expended to achieve this healing, all of it unconsciously directed, and I admit I'm scared.
I'm relieved when Jenna arrives. She listens in silence to what I tell her, then asks if she can be alone with Willow. I agree. In truth, what I really want is to run away from this. I've felt like that before, of course. Every time there's an impending apocalypse, I want to run. I don't, though, because there's always the possibility that I'll actually make a difference. Instead I go to the phone and call Buffy. There's no reply at her house, so I call Spike's, hoping they're not out on patrol. Of course, if they are, I'll have to decide whether or not to disturb that. Fortunately, I don't have to decide. They're at Spike's. Now that I think about it, they're mainly at Spike's these days. I think Buffy finds it easier not to be in the house she shared with Dawn. I explain what's happened, and what's going to happen. I ask if they can come to the hospital. If the worst comes to the worst, I'm not sure they can help, but it'll make me feel better.
Jenna takes a long time. I'm surprised that no one from the hospital approaches Willow's room, and assume that's Jenna's doing. At last, she appears in the doorway, and I know she's concerned.
"I took the opportunity to try to find out where we went wrong," she tells me. "I went into her memories. I know what happened. Something, and she doesn't have a clear memory of what it was, something force-fed her magical energy. Then, she was sent right back to her memories of after Tara died - to the depths of her despair. She felt the suffering of the world all over again. She decided to end the world, and somehow, she thought that killing this, Dawn, would achieve that. Now, I don't understand parts of it, but that seems to be what happened."
I nod. It makes sense. There was no reason for Willow to go dark again, none. If someone used her memories against her, made everything fresh again, that makes sense.
"So, can you help her?"
She sighs deeply. "I don't know. The magic's still there, that must be what's responsible for the healing. I can take that magic, there's no question of that. The problem is, how do I describe this? You know that every living creature has somewhere inside them where magic can be stored. For most people, the magic stored in so tiny, it only becomes evident at a time of great need, or maybe it never becomes evident. Others, like Willow, have a huge reservoir. Normally the power has to come from the earth, or from a dark source, but, because she can store a large amount, she is incredibly powerful. We've had some success before now with shrinking the reservoir. We remove the magic that's there, and shrink the reservoir so that they can never gather so much power again. The records of the coven provide us with details on every time it's been done. But, something happened to Willow. It's as if her reservoir's been stretched. It's so huge, like a balloon, it's been blown up to many times its original size. I can try, as the agent for the coven, to shrink it, but it's not going to be enough. I can take the magic, but the reservoir will still be there, and it'll still allow her to become incredibly powerful."
I take this in. "What could have done such a thing?"
"I have no idea. There are no records that it has ever happened before."
"I see," I murmur. "How do you 'shrink' the reservoir?"
"Well, obviously, we can't actually shrink it. What we do, is we fill it with useless magic. The sort of magic that needs something else to allow it to be used, something that doesn't exist on the earth. The problem is, there is nothing huge enough to use for Willow. I'll do what I can, but …."
"I understand. And, the psychological damage?"
"After what she's been through recently, I think any damage caused by what I'm going to do will be insignificant. She'll almost certainly need counselling, if not psychiatric help after her recent trauma."
"Do you need my help in any way?" I ask, giving my indirect agreement.
"No, it'll be simpler if you just wait here."
I nod, and she's gone. I take my seat again, and within moments, I feel the surge of magic. It's making my skin tingle, my hair seem to stand out from my body. I'm convinced that someone's going to come, want to know what's happening, but the area seems deserted. That in itself is unusual.
I'm watching the clock opposite me, and I can't believe ten minutes could last so long. I tense as I hear the lift doors open, convinced I'm going to have to stop someone investigating, but it's Buffy and Spike. I heave a sigh of relief, and explain what's happened.
The company is so welcome. I never thought I'd think in terms of Spike's company being welcome, but when I think of the two times we've lost one of them - Buffy or now Dawn, it seems he just became one of us. Even more this time than last time. I can't deny the difference he's made to Buffy.
There's not a lot of conversation once I've explained what's happening. We sit there together, in a line. They probably don't even realise it, but they've been touching the whole time. Nothing unsuitable for public consumption, just hand holding, head on shoulder, arm around shoulder, gently rubbing the back of a hand. I wonder why I even notice. Maybe it's just the contrast with before.
I'm just thinking about going into Willow's room anyway, when the tingling starts to die down. I'm immediately on my feet, and my companions are too. We move towards the door as one, and the door swings open to welcome us. We file in, I'm in the lead despite a bit of jockeying for position. All three of us seemed to feel we should go in first.
The sight before me causes my breath to catch in my throat for a second. Jenna's lying crumpled on the floor at the foot of the bed, and Willow's sitting bolt upright, her eyes wide open. I run towards Jenna, unsure what's wrong with her, and Buffy takes her cue from me. She goes to the bed, and I hear her calling gently "Will?"
I check Jenna, and I'm relieved to find she's still breathing. I hope it's just overexertion from the spell, but I'm not sure. I get up to call a doctor and I glance at Willow. There're tears running down her cheeks.
"B .. Buffy? Is that you? Buffy, where are you? Why is it so dark?"
It's dark outside, but Willow's room is well-lit. I approach the other side of the bed from where Buffy and Spike stand. "Willow, it's not dark," I say softly, already guessing the truth.
Buffy's holding Willow's hands in her own, and Willow's moving them towards Buffy's face, desperate to reassure herself she's really there.
"Buffy, why can't I see you? Can you see me?"
"Will, I can see you. What's …"
"Willow," I start. "Remember, you've been bandaged for a while now. The bandages only came off earlier today. It may take a little time for your eyes to get used to the light again."
Even as I say the words, I know they're not true. I suspect the healing which her magic had begun hadn't yet spread to her eyes. They look normal, but it's obvious she's seeing nothing. Willow is blind.
