Chapter 6 - You're Being Watched

After a while, the hospital staff insisted we leave and let Willow have some rest. They seemed less surprised that Willow was blind than by the fact that she looks so well-healed. But then, that's hardly surprising.

Giles left us for a while, when Jenna was taken to be examined. She came around quickly, and managed to persuade them she was just over-tired, so they allowed her to go home with Giles. He promised to get in touch with us later to let us know what happened, once he's heard the details from Jenna.

Spike and I leave the hospital in companionable silence. In truth, I don't know what I think about this recent development. When Willow called for me, wanting me close, I responded instinctively, but, now I've had time to think, I don't know how I feel about her. The news that she's potentially even more dangerous now than when she tried to end the world is pretty big. But, blind, wow, that was a shock. It's hard to imagine a world where it's always dark. I glance at Spike, and imagine what it'd be like to never see his face again. I reach up and trace a finger over his cheek, and he looks around, surprised.

"Just imagining how it'd be if this is the only way I could 'see' you," I explain.

He nods.

We reach his car, and get in. "Patrol or home?" he asks.

I glance at the time. It's still early enough to patrol, but I just don't feel like it.

"Home?"

"Next question," Spike smirks back at me. "Whose?"

I shrug. I've hardly spent any time at home since … Dawn. But I should. "Mine," I tell him.

He nods.

Once there, he seems unsure. He hovers in the hallway while I pick up the mail that's accumulated.

"What's the matter, Spike?" I ask.

"I'll go, then, shall I?"

"What? Why?"

"I thought we were going to take it easy," he reminds me. "If you're ok with being here, then I should go."

"If that's what you want," I reply. I'm hoping it isn't, but …. I couldn't have suggested what he just did.

"It's not what I want, but, maybe it'd be for the best."

"Best for who?"

He sighs deeply. "I can't help thinking we're going too fast. I'm scared this is all just fallout from Dawn, and that when you realise that, it'll be gone."

How could I ever have doubted that he loves me? Everything from the expression on his face to the stance of his body shows the complete dejection even the thought of losing me would cause. I walk up to him, and put my arms around his waist.

"I don't feel any differently now than before we lost Dawn. Well,…."

I pause. That's not quite true. "If anything, I do love you more, because … you're the only one who's really shared her loss with me. The others feel it, but, not like you and me. I'm not sure I understand why it was like that, but it was. But, I loved you before, and I don't think that's going to change."

I feel him relax against me, and I hope I've persuaded him. I know he's not going to leave, but he's not sure of me yet. So, I'll keep trying.

We settle down to watch TV, and eventually find a movie we can agree on. It feels right, sitting like this, with him, my head on his shoulder. The funny thing is, I can feel Dawn, too. I know she's here too, and I keep waiting for her to interrupt, but she doesn't.

*-*-*

I watch the lights go on in her house. It's a while since I've been here. It's better. This way, I know the layout inside, and I can get in. I'm feeling stronger with every day. Things are making more sense. Right after Sam died, I was lost. I felt all the anger, but it wasn't focussed. I even thought it was my fault for a while. I know better now. I know what I've got to do. It's funny, 'cos at first, I thought Spike was the big problem. Now, I see the truth. It's Buffy. She's the one who needs to die, but, if I have to kill Spike to get to her, I'll be happy. And, if not, then I can enjoy that afterwards like a reward for a job well done.

I spent a lot of time wondering how to do it. My first thought was, slow and painful. Then, I realised, the main thing was to kill her. If I get to take my time with Spike, that'd be a bonus.

I feel the other thoughts trying to get through. I've been getting better at pushing them back, but, tonight, they're winning.

It's not her, not Buffy. Spike. He's the one. Need to hurt Spike. Kill him slowly, keep Buffy. Need her. No Sam, not any more, need Buffy. Need …. Need to feel, need the pleasure, need the contact, need to be in control. Want her, want her now. Spike's been using her. Filthy monster, stealing her, defiling her. Suppose I'll have to cleanse her first, before I can let her know that I'll take her back.

I'm trying so hard to bury those other thoughts, and slowly, I push them back. I was going to move tonight. Now, I'm not so sure. I've lost focus, and I need to do something. Maybe, I need to get some .... relief. That's what's driving the other thoughts. Lust. He can't have her – never will have, but maybe, I can do something to keep him down.

I'm considering the possibilities. The obvious one is the one I used before. It'll mean losing some blood, but that's not a problem. I'm just turning around to head into town, when I spot them. There're four of them, and they're positioned so as to make it impossible for me to run. I don't recognise them, not as individuals, but I know they're military, even without uniform.

"Agent Finn," one of them starts. They're all alert, expecting trouble.

"Yes?""

"We'd like you to accompany us, please. There are some questions that need to be answered."

"Fine, I'll report first thing in the morning. It really isn't convenient at the moment."

"Orders, sir," he apologises as something hits me in the back, sending waves of agony through me. I know what it is, used it often enough myself. There's a second hit from the taser, and then ....

"He's a mess."

"What'd you expect? He saw his wife die!"

"I know, but ...."

"No buts. Did you see the tape? I'm still having nightmares about it, and I didn't know anyone in the room."

I slowly come back to consciousness, listening to voices above me. I'm restrained, but something's cleaning me up. I open my eyes slowly, but the light's too bright, and I close them again.

"He's awake," someone says.

"Hello, Soldier." Another voice. This one seems familiar. I'm trying to work it out, but I can't. I try another look. Still bright, but bearable this time. The face, yeah, I recognise him. Ex-Initiative doctor. Not one of the bigwigs, just a common or garden doctor.

"Tell them he's awake," I hear.

Tell who?

"You got yourself into a bit of a state, here," the doctor comments.

There's a nurse wiping my body down. Hardly surprising I need it. I haven't washed since ...

Haven't slept either.

I hear footsteps, and I know someone else has come in. I look around, and I know who it is. I saw him, outside Buffy's. He's been looking for me.

I think back to what happened. Oh yes. The other thoughts pushed forwards, and I was concentrating on getting them out of the way. That must be how they were able to get close. No matter, I'll get away. Sooner or later, they'll believe I'm just a traumatised widower, and they'll relax security. Then, I'm off. But, this one'll probably have to die.

"How is he? Is he up to questioning?"

"As regards the taser blast, yes, he's ok for questioning. There's an unidentified mark - looks like a burn, on his back, between his shoulder blades. Doesn't look like a taser burn, but it doesn't fit any other likely cause either. As regards the rest? Who knows? I think we should get a psychologist in here, but I'm outranked."

"Yes, Doctor, you are."

They're talking about me, but they're not talking to me. I feel my muscles tense, and the restraints seem to stretch to accommodate the extra bulk. I note that for future consideration. Come to think of it, I have been feeling pretty good – strong, fast. Haven't needed to sleep. Not sure why, unless it's my purpose. At least that's clear again. The other voice has been silenced for now.

"Let him sit up," the newcomer orders. Hands adjust the restraints, and I'm pulled into a sitting position. For the first time I realise I'm naked except for a sheet that's currently stationed around my middle.

"Finn, I'm going to have to ask you some questions. I understand this is a painful time for you, but we have to have answers. We need to understand what killed your wife, if only to make sure it doesn't happen again. We know you witnessed everything first-hand, and your information will be invaluable. My name is Simon Westgate."

He holds his hand out to shake mine. Why would I want to shake his hand? Why would I want to touch him? The lack of response seems to throw him for a moment, but then he sits down, pulls out a clip board and starts to ask questions.

I tell the truth about what happened. It's documented anyway, he's seen the movie, although I can't imagine the T-shirts will sell very well. Then he asks where I've been. I stay silent for a while, then I make my decision. I'll tell the truth, or at least as much of it as serves my purpose.

"Where did you go after you left the complex?"

"I followed the energy. It went into town, to a store there called the Magic Box."

"That's the store owned by a friend of your ex-girlfriend, one Buffy Summers?"

"That's right. Rupert Giles, Englishman."

"And, what happened there?"

"I saw the energy, and it went back to whoever summoned it. They were there, Buffy, and Hostile 17. He summoned it, and he held onto her, as it returned to him."

"Who is Hostile 17?"

"I'm sure you know very well who he is. He's a vampire who was chipped by the Initiative. But, for some reason, Buffy, who you'll find from Initiative records is the Slayer, wouldn't stake him. He was chipped, so he couldn't harm humans. But, somehow, he did something to her. It's like he had hypnotised her. He was even screwing her, like he was human or something."

"I see. Tell me, is this Hostile 17?"

He holds up a photograph. "Yes, that's him."

I continue to look at the photo, then I realise. It's clearly Spike, and his arm's around Buffy as the two walk into a building, looks like a school – in daytime. I gawk at the photo.

"As I understand it, vampires cannot stand the touch of the sun. So, how could it be him?"

"I don't know," I manage. I'm wracking my brain, desperate to think of an explanation. Then it comes to me. Xander. He told me, Spike had a ring. It made him invulnerable, until Buffy took it from him. She gave it to Angel, but he destroyed it. Could there be another?

"There are things, magical charms that could let him walk in daylight. He must have something. He did before, but it was supposed to be destroyed."

Then I realise. Whose word do we have that it was destroyed? Angel's. A demon's word. It's not worth anything.

"It could be the Gem of Amarra. We were told it was destroyed, but, maybe it wasn't. It didn't make a lot of sense anyway. Buffy took it from Spike, and she sent it to Angel. He's supposed to be fighting the good fight in LA. I never did understand why he'd destroy it. What if he didn't, and either he gave it to Spike, or Spike stole it?"

"That all sounds a bit far-fetched, and who, exactly, is Angel?" he comments.

"So does the whole 'Chosen one' thing. I thought I was doing well when I could kill a couple of hostiles in a night. She regularly gets six or eight. Since she was sixteen, she's dusted thousands of vampires, not to mention other demons. That's far-fetched, too. And Angel, he's a vampire too. Apparently cursed with a soul, he was Buffy's first," I spit out the word, "Lover!"

He nods, apparently accepting what I've said.

"We'll investigate this - gem. Now, going back to what happened. You say this, Spike, summoned the energy that killed your wife. I've seen the tapes, and it looked like the energy came from the sphere. You say it didn't."

I think about that. At the time it seemed that way to me, too.

"Well, I thought so, until I saw what happened later. The energy that killed everyone, he soaked it up. He just stood there, and took it. It didn't hurt him. So, he must have controlled it. It makes sense that he would find a way to kill which could get around the chip."

"I see. We'll have to investigate, but, from what you say, I think we should bring in this Spike, or Hostile 17 as soon as possible."

That's good. If they get him out of the way, there'll be nothing to stop me killing Buffy. And then, when she's gone, I'll get him - assuming he's still alive. But, he should be. They won't kill him, although I don't think he's going to enjoy their company very much, either.