8

Twelve Years Before

Planning to meet with Murphy at one for a late lunch, Laura decided to take advantage of the free time she had. She'd been forbidden to even mention the case, so she spent the morning lying around in bed, being unproductive in a way she very rarely was. At about twelve she got out of bed and took a quick shower before dressing in a light summer dress she'd brought. When she was dressed, she peered into the mirror and pulled her hair back into a partial ponytail, then swallowed hard when her stomach began to churn. The churning didn't stop, but it quieted, and Laura chose that moment to leave for Murphy's.

When, after following his directions, Laura arrived twenty-five minutes later, she couldn't wait to get inside and see everything. She walked steadily to the front door and was greeted by a grinning Murphy, who enveloped her for a few moments before standing back to inspect her. They exchanged greetings as he led her into the front room, but before long, they had ended up in the kitchen talking like the old friends they were.

"So what is it you aren't telling me?" Murphy finally asked after they'd finished their lunch and moved into his living room. The room was silent but for a few familiar noises and it seemed open in its width and color.

"What makes you think I'm not telling you something?" she asked as a sad smile played on her lips. Lifting the ceramic cup to her lips for a sip of iced tea, Laura glanced around at the French doors that led into his backyard, of which she could see only a small garden and bright colors. "I like the house. It seems awfully big for one person, though."

"I'm not the only one who lives here. My dogs live here too," he said, in all seriousness. "And so does my girlfriend. But no more changing the subject. What's got you looking so pale and worried?"

"Girlfriend?" she threw her eyebrows up, but catching his stern look, she stopped. "I caught a bug," she shrugged, giving it the brush off.

Murphy stared for a moment. "I may not have seen you in the last two years, or talked to you even, but I know that with as much change as you could possibly go through, personalities like yours die hard. So tell me what's on your mind. Is it him?" he ended as he edged forward in his seat.

Laura shot him a look from over the top of her cup, which was still poised at her lips, though she'd ceased drinking. Finally, she set the cup on the table in front of her and glanced back upwards, heaving a deep, steadying breath as she gathered the courage to voice her suspicions aloud. "It's just...the thing is...well...I think I might be pregnant," she finally blurted out.

For an instant, Murphy looked stunned, but grinned immediately after and said, "Pregnant. Congratulations!"

"No; I mean...I'm not sure yet, and it's more of a curse than a blessing, I think."

"Is it because he isn't happy with the news?" Murphy accused.

"He doesn't know. He just thinks I have a bug, which was what I thought before all the other things...I need to get a test before I think about anything else."

"Do you love him?" he asked. When she didn't respond, he said, "Does he love you?"

Dropping her head back, Laura waited a moment before she looked back up, and when she did, Murphy could see the fear in her expression. "I don't know. I don't know if he loves me, because the only reason we got married was so he could get a green card and this is just an added complication. I mean, we've already been married six months longer than required, and he's stayed, but would he really stay if we had a baby? No, because this wasn't something he bargained for." She sat back again and quieted, catching her breath, praying she was wrong, caught somewhere between hope and fear that she was indeed, pregnant.

"Before you do anything else, you need to find out for sure. There's a drugstore around the block. I'll go get you a test or two, and you can find out for certain. And if you are, then you can go from there, okay? I'll be back in about ten minutes," Murphy said as he strode to the front door and opened it, glancing back only to give her assurance. "Go ahead and look around, all right?"

Laura nodded slowly and bit her lip as she watched him go. She hadn't wanted to blurt everything out at once, but she had, and now that it was done, she felt slightly better. It didn't ease her worries, however, when she again thought of her husband and the possibility of him leaving if and when he discovered he might be a father. Besides the possibility of an infant, there were still unresolved issues from their marriage that needed to be dealt with, and neither could seem to broach that subject either. Standing and flexing her muscles, Laura slipped off her shoes and slowly made her way through the room. She let her hands glide along the odds and ends of furniture that had been placed in the room before she drifted to another, not feeling like a trespasser, but more of an explorer. It was easy to slip into someone else's life and things, she thought as she picked up an expensive silver picture frame and noted the woman inside.

When Murphy returned, all the calming that had come from the distractions immediately disappeared. He handed her the plain paper sack and directed her towards the first floor bathroom. "Come out when you're done," he said, knowing that there was nothing he could say that would ease her nerves or help the situation. "It's going to be okay, you know."

Laura didn't bother to reply as she slipped into the tiled room with the sack. She completed the test, then sat down on the side of the bathtub to wait the time required, during which she continuously brushed the hair on her head from one side to the other. When the time was up, she could barely look to see, and finally, she appeared in the doorway of the room, holding the product in her hands.

"Well?" he prodded with more calm than he felt.

"Um-hmm," she said, looking down at the floor.

A faint smile traced his lips. "Laura, that's terrific." Wrapping her in a hug, Murphy wasn't surprised when she broke free and began to pace across a small spot, trembling.

"What am I going to do?" she said aloud, rhetorically, wishing that the answer would appear and she could simply grasp it and know that it was right.

"Tell him."

"Tell him? I'm not going to use this baby to make him stay. I couldn't do that."

"You need to tell your husband. It wouldn't be making him stay if you simply would tell him. He might not say it, but I think he must love you much more than you think if you two have been together even after the time requirement has passed. Go back to your hotel tonight, and find a way to tell him the truth. Don't just stop there, though. I can tell you've got more on your mind, and you won't be able to solve anything if you don't say it aloud."

Laura almost laughed. "You have an answer for everything, don't you?"

"I'd like to think so."

"Don't go getting a big head," she added, relieved to have someone backing her up.

"Me? Never. Now, how about we go have some dessert?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Remington was very nearly to the point of calling the case quits. There was nothing at all to suggest that Ellie's husband had been murdered by his ex-business partner. In fact, the more digging he did, the more the evidence suggested that Mrs. Graves had been involved in the death of her husband. Through a few interviews he'd conducted earlier in the day, Remington learned that Mr. Graves had taken out a life insurance policy worth well over half a million dollars and the Mrs. was the sole beneficiary. Barring that, there was also the fact that the two had been separated and at the brink of divorce when the man was murdered, and the pre-nuptial they'd signed didn't entitle Mrs. Graves to anything but a tiny fraction of the billions the couple held. However, it was all circumstantial, nothing proving her guilt straight out, so Remington decided to hold off on any further research into Ellie Graves.

"Hello there, Mr. Steele," a voice cut clearly from the open doorway of the hotel room. "How is the case going?"

"It's going fine, although there's quite a bit of work left to do," he said, clearing his throat suggestively so that she might get the message.

Apparently though, she didn't. Ellie entered and crossed the room to where he sat on the bed. He managed to shove the papers pertaining to the case into a folder before Ellie could see them, but as he suspected, she wanted very little to do with the case itself.

"That's alright. I have faith in you."

"Ah, that's good to know," he said uncomfortably. "If you'll forgive me, I should be getting back to this."

"Oh, you can get to it later. I wouldn't be mad if you decided you needed a break away from this mess. Honestly, I don't believe there's going to be a way to prove that James actually murdered Richard."

Remington watched as she tilted her head towards him, expecting a reply. "Well, if my wife and I are given the chance to work the case long enough, I'm sure we'll find out who killed your husband."

"Take a break. Come have dinner with me," she said, grinning.

"Actually, I was going to wait for Laura so that we could have dinner together."

"I'm sure your wife wouldn't mind."

Remington stood, stretching as he contemplated his choices. "Even so, I'll just wait here. Perhaps we could both join you for dinner in the restaurant later."

Ellie stood as well, smoothing her dress as she looked at the man standing in front of her. Without warning, the widow leaned towards Remington and placed her hands around his neck, drawing his face to hers for a seductive kiss.

At the same time, Laura was striding down the hallway, fully intending to tell Remington everything that needed to be spoken between them. When she reached their room, she began to dig out the key, only to notice that the door was slightly ajar. Pushing it open just a bit, Laura peeked in and caught sight of Ellie Graves and Remington kissing, and nimbly, she pulled the door back into the position it had been in. She stood for a moment, shocked and scalded from the door's touch, before she turned and ran down the hallway, down the stairs, and out through the lobby doors into the cool air. Gasping for breath, she hunched over and heaved, imagining exactly what else was going on upstairs.

Meanwhile, no flush of embarrassment crept onto Ellie's cheeks as she stood in the same spot Remington had just pushed her into. In fact, the woman seemed quite pleased with herself. "Is something wrong?" she asked innocently.

"That was completely inappropriate. Besides the fact that you are a client of my firm, I am also married, and I love my wife very much." The room's silence suddenly buzzed in his ears. "I think it would be better if we resigned the case and you got someone else to investigate."

"I suppose you're right," she murmured. The woman looked quite lost, as though she was not used to being told no, as she frowned, turned heel, and left the room.

When she was gone, Remington breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't realized it until that moment, but all he wanted was to have Laura come back to the room so that he could tell her everything and let her know that she was the one he wanted for life. He rubbed his eyes and decided it would be a while before Laura came back from Murphy's. After all, they were friends who hadn't seen each other in a very long time. To pass the time, he decided to go down to the indoor swimming pool and do a few laps. Then he would be back up to have dinner with his wife so that they could talk.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Stricken, Laura hailed a cab from under the darkness of the hotel's shadow. The backseat was humid and dark, and the cabby didn't speak much after she told him to simply drive around for a little while because she wasn't sure of where to go.

"Lady like you should be home with her husband and kids on a night like tonight," he said in passing.

Laura didn't respond. She didn't want to go to Murphy's to be soothed, and she didn't want advice from the driver, who looked like he didn't quite belong to his own life let alone anyone else's. Instead, she needed the time in the backseat to think without another's presence within those thoughts. Every time her thoughts were aimed in one direction, everything took a turn, and she was standing outside the hotel room, watching the scene unfold, her heart breaking a little more each time. Even when Wilson left and confirmed her worst beliefs about men, she hadn't felt so betrayed and hollowed as she did at the moment. Wilson's leaving caused her to lose a part of her personality that was linked to him, but it hadn't reached the innermost place inside her that was aching right at that moment.

She began to rock back and forth as the tears came, silent sobs wrenching her back and forth with the hum of the cab's engine. She wrapped her arms around her middle, wanting to hold on for life's promise; just to never let go of what she feared were now only distant memories of a marriage and what she had hoped was love. But dread sunk deep and overrode the sweet memories she had retained, and convinced her that her fears were correct. A wild sense of that same fear gripped at her, and she hit at the driver, motioning him to pull over so that she could again vomit, but there was nothing, only dry heaves that refused to stop.

When they could go again, the man asked her if she was alright, and if a trip to the hospital was necessary. She shook her head violently, hoping he wouldn't continue to push and cause her to explain, but he didn't say anything more, just turned the corner and drove steadily on. Staring out the window, she watched the scenery go by until it all became just one blur, and her mind turned back to the thoughts she'd had just a few minutes before. What would she do? She couldn't take it if he told her that he was leaving. She knew that if he left her, she would never be able to face that, and that, therefore, could never happen. But neither would she use the baby she carried to make him stay. She wouldn't allow the baby to be the determining factor in their marriage, the one thing that had caused him to stay or the one thing that made him run. In every case she had ever seen, things like that only caused more damage in the long run, and she vowed then and there that she would never allow her child to know hurt like what she'd known. No, she wouldn't sink to that level.

Then what was she to do? Laura felt the tears spring up again, and took a calming breath to force them away. She didn't want to be the one left alone in the hotel room they'd shared, wondering what would become of her and the baby. If he felt like he wanted out, then Laura wouldn't be the one to stop him. She couldn't be that person, didn't want to be that person. Instead, she'd bow out gracefully. He didn't need to know that he had a child because that would only result in disaster, and she was sure that if she could handle being a female dick then she could handle single parenting. He would be free to go about, never having known that he was the one for Laura, the only man in the entire world that she had fallen in love with. She would go back to LA alone, split the agency, draw up divorce papers, and send him on his way. She wouldn't deny that she loved him now, but she simply acknowledged her love for him as one-sided. That was that.

"Could you take me back to the hotel now?" she asked in a quiet voice, with dried salt on her cheeks from the tears.

"Sure, lady. You need anything else?"

Again, she shook her head. "I just need to go back."

The ride back was short and uninterrupted. Her destination reached, she pulled out the money she had with her and paid him in full with a handsome tip for keeping quiet when she needed the quiet most. As she trudged up the stairs to the room, she pulled forth all the strength she had so that if he was there, she could leave knowing that even if he disagreed, she would handle it.

She put on a cold façade, preparing herself to explain things briefly before packing up and leaving, but Remington was no longer in the room, and neither was Mrs. Graves. Laura packed quickly and efficiently, stuffing her things back into her suitcase and jamming it closed so she could zipper it shut. It was only when she had finished gathering everything and packing it all away that Remington entered the room. Glancing at her oddly, he said, "What are you doing?"

When she only looked at him for a moment, then turned away to drag the suitcase to the door, his stomach dropped and a heavy feeling replaced it. "I'm leaving."

"Nice of you to tell me that we were leaving," he commented as he sat on the edge of the bed, hoping her next reply would squash the inkling he had.

"We aren't. I am." She faced him as she stood next to the door. "You can stay. If you plan to stay here for a long time, let Mildred know. I'll have her send you the papers and the money."

"What papers? And what money?"

"Divorce papers, and the money from the sale," she replied, trying to seem calm. "I'll compensate Mildred and Gina accordingly."

"What the bloody hell is going on?" he finally exploded.

Laura turned on him icily. "I'm leaving you, and I'm done with the agency. I'm moving on. I suggest you do the same."

In all the times he'd seen Laura mad, Remington had never known her to act as coldly as she was at the moment. A split second later, she had both suitcases in her hands and was out the door. He stood, confused for a moment, then ran down the hall after her. "I don't understand," he said, hoping that he'd get through to her.

She stopped at the elevator to wait, and faced him again. "Then I'll spell things out for you. I'm leaving, because you are now free to legally stay in the U.S. without a wife to pull you down."

"Laura, you...I'm not being pulled down," he said in disbelief. The elevator doors shifted open, and Laura stepped in, facing Remington for the few seconds before the doors closed.

"You and I both know that's not true." The doors closed, and he stood, breathing hard in the silence for just a minute before he went for the stairs, hoping to catch her in the lobby. But it was too late; Laura was already in a cab that was barreling down the street, her back to him so that he couldn't see the stifled tears falling, caught only in her lap.

He was breathing heavier still as he stood in the doorway to the hotel's lobby, looking after the cab, wondering if he had imagined their marriage. Had she really been that unhappy with him that she had to make up a lie about his feeling tied down so she could leave? He didn't know. Maybe she had never loved him as he loved her, and she simply didn't want to break that to him. Whatever it was, she was gone, and he had the sinking feeling that no amount of calling and following and talking could change that. So instead of going after her, he wearily headed back to the elevator, pressed the button to the floor he needed, and closed the door to the room for the night so that he could be tortured in silence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Laura kept her promise and broke apart the agency, gave Mildred and Gina fabulous severance packages, and had Mildred forward both the divorce papers and the money from the agency to Remington. And that was that.