Disclaimer: Sigh...no, I do not own Zelda or even my own sanity but that's another story...

Note: Look people, this is only the SECOND CHAPTER! Neither Shiek nor Navi will show up for awhile! Ok? Ok. Oh, and I'm sorry, I made a mistake in the first chapter. Zelda is the Sage of Wisdom, not Light... my bad.

Dedication: To all Princess Zelda and Navi haters everywhere!
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Zelda spun around just as the barn door slammed shut.
"What? Wait, no, this wasn't supposed to happen!" She stood up and tried vainly to get out of her cow suit. "Don't you DARE leave me in here you meanie!" she yelled, still struggling with the zipper. "It's dark and smelly and I want Link!!!!" She finally managed to claw her way out of the confining material and started pounding on the door. "Let me out!!!! You did this on purpose!!!!" Unable to break down the door, she sat down on the dirty wooden floor and started to bawl. " WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! When...sob...I get out of here...sniffle...you're ALL going to the dungeon!!!! WAAAAAHHH!!!!"
She was so caught up in her tantrum that she didn't notice the green light filtering through the cracks in the wooden planks. In fact, she was so preoccupied with planning what she was going to do to Malon when she got out of there that she was completely oblivious to the cows slowly disappearing around her.
"Sniffle, Wha?..." she looked around, tears still streaming down her face. "I thought...sniff...that there were cows in here...huh?" A beam of green light shone straight at her face, blinding her. "Owww! Stop it! You'll ruin my beautiful princessly eyes!" She rubbed them furiously trying to clear her head, then stopped. The green light had faded, and she wasn't in the barn anymore...in fact, she wasn't even in Hyrule anymore. The ground she was sitting on was covered with velvety green grass. The only thing there other than grass was a huge tree, seeming to be exactly in the middle of her new surroundings. The sky was a peaceful blue, and it seemed as though all was right with the world...
"Ooooohhh... I like it here!" Zelda sat up and looked around, her earlier feelings already forgotten. "I wonder though, where is my Royal Escort? The people here must know that I'm a princess, and have brought me here for a wonderful ball in my honor..." She babbled on to herself about the dress she would wear and the food at the banquet and the décor of the ballroom for quite some time as she got up and wandered towards the tree. "...And the music will all be ballads composed about my beauty, and, AHHHHHHHH!!!" Suddenly, the chattering princess was surrounded by four...things. They wore odd robes, had large bulbous eyes, and seemed to float a foot above the ground. They all held instruments that looked vaguely like cattle-prods, and they hummed with electricity.
The princess stamped her foot angrily and tossed her head, holding herself proudly.
"Where have you lazy oafs been? I have been waiting for you to escort me for ages! Now get moving, we must be in time for my dress-fitting!" The beings all looked at each other, shrugged, and started to glide effortlessly towards the tree, leaving Zelda in their wake.
"Wait! Come back here! You're all supposed to come a step behind meeeeeee! Wait up!"
She started running after them still yelling. "I'll have you...pant...all thrown...gasp...in the dungeon...wheeze...for your insolence!!"
The four beings (paying no attention to the princess), continued to float towards the tree, ignoring the small masked children running around the base. They all stopped simultaneously and stared wordlessly at Zelda, who was trying to look dignified and catch her breath at the same time and was failing.
"Pant...continue...wheeze...your game...gasp...children." She tried smiling graciously at them but only succeeded in giving herself a coughing fit. The children all continued to stare at her as she made her way toward the tree.
"Stop staring you, you, miscreants!"
The children, nonplussed, looked at each other and immediately started to run around again.
"Stupid brats..." Zelda muttered under her breath, then quickly looked around to make sure no one had heard. She heard the beings moving behind her, and quickly turned around.
"Alright, I'm ready...AGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" Before she could move, the beings all pulled out small metal instruments and pointed them at the Princess, bathing her in an eerie green light.
Zelda shut her eyes tight in a pathetic attempt to protect herself. When she opened them...
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TBC. Please review!