Disclaimer: Look, if I owned Zelda, why would I be writing this? I would be off extorting the characters for my own profit and enjoyment, not writing pathetic pieces of fiction with little to no plot. Sigh..now I'm depressed..

Note: Sorry people, I know that the last chapter wasn't at all funny, but in order to have some semblance of a story, I have to have a plot. Chapter three was just a stupid ploy to appease the evil plot-bunnies that torment me so.. Oh, and before I forget, I LOVE YOU DARK COMET!!! You have given me the only constructive criticism yet! See you bloody freakish-type people? You CAN constructively flame someone! What a bloody revelation..She ALSO didn't argue about which pairing is better like SOME people I could name, but instead actually told me WHAT SHE THOUGHT!! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!! ..Ok, I'm done ranting now.

Link rode out of Lon Lon Ranch on Epona later that night. He frowned as he ran over the events of the evening in his head. Malon had seemed so.distant tonight. Not like usual. She also hadn't been impressed by his feats of heroism in Termina when he had filled her in on them. Well, not nearly as impressed as she should have been anyways. She should have gasped in delight, oohed and ahhed in amazement, really have listened! But, she didn't, and Link couldn't figure out why. He sighed and shrugged. Oh well, he'd figure it out tomorrow. All that riding had exhausted him; all he really wanted to do was get home and sleep. Yawning deeply, he steered Epona towards the entrance to the Lost Woods, happily visualizing his bed in his cozy little treehouse.
"Hoo! Hoo! Wait Link! Hero of Time, I beseech thee, waaaaait!!"
Link jerked his head up and twisted around in the saddle to see who was calling him. Squinting into the darkness, he could make out a large blobby shape winging its way towards him. He groaned, recognizing it instantly.
"Dammit!" he muttered, realizing escape was hopeless.
A large owl landed in a tree besides Epona, blinking peevishly in the dim light. It ruffled its feathers importantly, not seeming to notice the death-glare Link was giving it.
"Didn't I leave you in Termina?" Link grated, scowling.
The owl blinked again, quite oblivious to the disgust dripping from Link's words.
"Of course not, dear boy! I have to look after you after all!" The owl hooted loudly as if at a joke while Link continued to glare, refusing to comment. The owl quieted down again, ducking and bobbing its head all the while.
"But, all pleasantries aside, I have some urgent news for you!"
Link snorted in disgust. "Oh yeah? And what would that be?"
"It's the princess Zelda! She has been kidnapped!" The owl opened its eyes wide in distress.
Link shrugged. "Yeah, so?"
The owl blinked again, confused. "And, eh, we need you to, um, rescue her." it trailed off uncertainly, tilting its head at the Hylian.
Link sighed impatiently. "Look birdbrain, Zelda is ALWAYS in some type of trouble, and if you hadn't noticed, I really don't care. She's always all over me anyways." He shuddered, picturing the simpering blonde in his mind. "She practically stalks me.it's creepy."
"Nonsense! She's just fond of you, that's all!"
"Fond?? I don't think fond quite covers it. Does 'fond' include sending you messages every hour of the day? Does fond include showing up at your house at ungodly hours to graciously allow you to take her shopping? Does fond include simpering at me every second about how strong and handsome and brave I am till I just want to scream? Does fond-"
"Hoot! Alright, maybe she is a bit taken with you," the owl amended hastily, ruffling its feathers nervously. "But she is our princess and she has been kidnapped - "
Link cut in. "And the kingdom will thrive without her, trust me." Clucking to Epona, he started to ride forward again.
"Hoot-ho! Don't go Link! We need you! You are our hero, our champion!..." It continued to babble on in this fashion as Link headed for the woods, completely ignoring the overgrown bird.
A deep sigh from somewhere in the shadows caused the Hylian to freeze.
"Who's there?" He demanded, casting about fruitlessly in the dark, picturing poes and peahats and every other unpleasant thing that roamed the fields at night.
"I'm sorry Link, but that overgrown pigeon is right," A figure melted out of the shadows, carrying a lute in slender fingers.
Link relaxed, leaning back in the saddle. "Sheik," He acknowledged, giving a wry smile. He and the Sheikah had become friends shortly after Sheik had come into his own; literally. Sheik was a little like Shadow Link; a manifestation of a person that had fissioned off and become its own deity. Although, Link had to admit, Sheik was a bit more talkative than his own manifestation. For one thing, they both enjoyed adventuring and shared a heated dislike of the princess that had unknowingly spawned the Sheikah. He had absolutely no desire to find out what other than looks he and Shadow Link had in common.
Link nodded a greeting to his friend, then spoke up, puzzled. "The owl was right? How do you mean?"
Sheik returned Link's nod, coming forward to stroke Epona's neck. "As much as I hate to admit it, we, or to be more exact, you, need to rescue Zelda." He heaved another sigh. "Unpleasant as it may be."
"You're right about that anyway," Link looked skyward, thoroughly exasperated by this point. "Ok, I'll bite: Why do I need to rescue Hyrule's beloved Princess?"
"Well, Zelda is not so much the objective here as the one who kidnapped her." Sheik pushed his long bangs out of his face as Link glowered down at him. As fond as he was of the odd Sheikah, he wished that just for once he would give him a straight answer.
Sheik, noticing the look he was getting, grinned sheepishly.
"Sorry.sometimes I forget that you don't have powers of Shadow at your command. Navi. Navi the fairy and your former partner has kidnapped Zelda."
Much to Sheik's surprise, Link threw his head back and laughed.
"NAVI?? You mean that stupid pink thing that followed me around Hyrule for what seemed like forever? How could she have accomplished something like this?"
"Well.from what we understand, it was kind of..um..an accident. Zelda got herself kidnapped by Aliens -"
"Not THOSE guys again." Link groaned, smacking himself in the forehead.
Sheik cleared his throat and continued. " - and ended up on the Moon. Navi somehow has made herself monarch of the place and apparently nurses quite a grudge against you."
"A grudge? What did I ever do to her?" Link demanded. "And how do you know all this anyway? Who is 'we'?"
"As I said earlier," Sheik ground his teeth at his friend, finally annoyed. "Impa has, for my services against Gannondorf, allowed me use of the powers of Shadow. Shadows, I have found make excellent spies. Now, if I may continue." He shot a warning glare at Link, who returned it with a "who, me?" look.
"Anyway, the Sages think that Navi may present some form of a threat. Thus, they need you to eliminate that threat. Got it?"
"Loud and clear." Link sighed again, realizing escape from this one was impossible. "But I have just one question for you;" He leaned down, Sheik looking at him expectantly. "What's in it for me?"
Despite himself, Sheik grinned, approving of Link's mercenary attitude.
"I asked them that myself when they presented it to me," He replied with a chuckle. "And they promised, swore actually, that they would keep Zelda entertained and/or away from you for the rest of your life."
"Done." Link didn't hesitate. He offered the Sheikah his hand, and Sheik shook it, grinning.
"I thought you'd like that," He shook his hair out of his eyes again. "I'd certainly go any lengths for that kind of prize!"
Link laughed. "You and me both!" With a slight grunt, he swung himself out of the saddle to stand beside his friend. "So, the objectives are, get to the moon, eliminate fairy threat, rescue damsel in distress. Is that all?"
Sheik nodded an affirmative. "Yep. But you know the Sages; they aren't willing to do anything more that sit on their almighty arses and watch. Plus, they've got me doing all the spy work. So you're on your own for this one."
Link shrugged indifferently. "Aren't I always?"
Sheik clapped him on the shoulder. "You know I've always got your back." He told the Hylian seriously.
"I know, I know," Link grinned back.
Sheik returned the grin, then dropped his arm. "Well, back to the grind then." He gave Link a mock salute, backing up several paces. Raising his arm again, he dropped it sharply, as if throwing something at the ground. Link shielded his eyes against the blinding flash that followed, accompanied by a sharp clanging noise. When he could see again, he was unsurprised to find that Sheik was gone.
Heaving another sigh, Link pulled himself back into the saddle. "Back to the grind indeed," He murmured, clucking to Epona. The mare moved forward obediently and Link rubbed the bridge of her neck absently. Now all he needed was a way to get to the moon.he blinked as it hit him, then gave a predatory grin. Aw yeah.he was gonna have FUN with this one.

R&R as always! Sorry this one took so long.I have a long list of excuses for you, but I don't think anyone wants them..