Jason and Caitie walked down the Pine Street, each holding a cup of hot
chocolate.
"Did you like the movie?" Jason asked, trying to engage in conversation. Caitie had been quiet ever since they left the theater.
"Huh? It was okay. Did you like it?" She replied, feigning interest.
Jason remained silent for a few moments. "Caitie . . . can I ask you something? I don't know if it's inappropriate, but I really have to know."
Caitie nodded her head, as she continued to walk down the busy street.
"Let's sit down," Jason suggested, eying a bench a few feet away.
Jason and Caitie sat down at the wooden bench, outside the park. It was a cool brisk night. While sipping her hot chocolate, Caitie turned her attention to Jason.
"It's about Jamie. Is there, something I should know about?" Jason asked sheepishly.
"What do you mean?" she questioned, slightly taken aback.
"I know he's your best friend, but I sense that there's something more. He seemed almost jealous when I showed interest in you."
"Did he say anything?" she quickly asked, while a million scenarios ran through her mind.
"No, he didn't. It's just something I picked up on." Jason held his hot chocolate in his hand, bracing himself for the worst of news.
Silence once again dominated the conversation.
"He kissed me today," Caitie finally replied, after contemplating the event over and over again. She wondered if it was the right thing to do, but keeping it inside her drove her crazy. She couldn't bring herself to tell Val, not yet anyway. That was a phone call she was not looking forward too later that night. After Caitie dismissed Val's intuition about this entire matter, she felt foolish. She should have heeded the advice of her friend. The kiss defied the laws of her universe.
"Oh." Jason turned his gaze downwards, fixing it to the white paper cup.
"Now, there's a response," Caitie commented sarcastically.
"How do you feel about this? Listen, if there is something going on between you two, far be it for me to interfere. I just need to know where I stand."
"I don't know what's going on. He caught me completely off guard. Completely." Caitie felt defeated. She was sitting next to a wonderful guy, sabotaging their budding relationship.
"I really like you. I think we can be something meaningful together . . . I just need to know that you're interested in me too. I need to know where we stand, you know? It seems like you and Jamie have some issues to resolve, and until they are, I'll back off." Jason arose from the bench.
"I'll wait for you . . . until you're ready. I want to do this right." Jason smiled warmly at Caitie.
Caitie stood up from the wooden bench. It amazed her how understanding Jason was being. She had a difficult choice to make, between two wonderful guys. "You're really sweet. It's somewhat surprising, no offense," she replied in a manner too true to herself.
"Come on, I'll walk you home," Jason offered.
*
Jamie sat at the station early Saturday morning. An American History textbook remained opened and untouched since his arrival. Positioned comfortably on the couch, Jamie resided in a silent gaze.
Val entered the common room with a cup of tea in hand. She watched Jamie momentarily, fully aware of his melancholy state of appearance.
"Hi Jamie. Want a cup of tea?" she offered politely. She had a long talk with Caitie last night. She explained the event that occurred between Jamie and herself, as well as Jason's reaction.
Jamie broke his gaze from the wall momentarily to decline Val's offer.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"You probably know. You do know, don't you?" Jamie questioned.
Val nodded her head.
"Does she hate me?" Jamie asked sadly.
Val shook her head. "Why would you say that? I mean, what happened . . .confused her."
"I know. I ruined our friendship." Jamie buried his head in his hands. He let out a frustrated sigh.
"Listen, if your friendship is as strong as you believe it is, then it's not ruined. Caitie's a good friend, and she thinks the world of you. It might be awkward, but it'll work out," Val said reassuringly. "I promise."
Jamie nodded his head in agreement, not completely believing the statement himself.
"You liked her for a long time, didn't you?"
Surprised by the question, Jamie stared at Val. "Obvious?"
"I pick up on these things," Val replied with a warm smile.
"If you can, why can't she?"
"I guess, it's different when you're watching from the outside of a situation, then being a part of it. It took me awhile to figure out my relationship with Tyler."
"I remember that," Jamie replied. "You two danced around the prospect of dating for like a year."
"It worked out well, I would say!" Val stated positively, thinking of her happy relationship with Tyler. "He's really great."
"I better get some studying done," Jamie stated, not moving from his current position.
Val took the hint and decided to leave. "I'm going to stock some supplies. Give Brooke a load off, you know?" She began to leave the common room, heading towards the supply closet.
Although Val and Jamie have been working together on the same squad for over a year, the only common ground between the two was Caitie. They had a good working relationship that was developed with time and experience, yet their friendship remained distant. Val often wondered why Jamie seemed to be closer with the other squad members, and not herself . . . probably because they had nothing in common. The squad was like family, yet Jamie still saw her as a co-worker.
Lingering in the doorway, Val decided to make the first step in establishing their friendship. "If you need to talk, I'm here. We both care about Caitie, so that gives us something in common right?"
"Thanks Val. That means a lot." Jamie managed to smile slightly. He knew she tried time and time again to create a friendship. He concluded she was a friendly person.
Val returned the smile and walked into the supply closet.
*
Later that night, Caitie walked around her neighborhood. She quietly enjoyed the brisk weather Kingsport had been experiencing recently. She wrapped her sweater around herself tighter while walking in the leaves piled up on the side of the streets.
Caitie left for her walk an hour before, intent on speaking to Jamie. For some reason, she could not seem to bring herself to his house a few blocks away. Every time his block came within view, she turned the other way. Whether it was fear, nervousness or uncertainty, she was reluctant to face her best friend.
Once again Caitie approached Jamie's block. A motorcycle was parked in the driveway. 'He's home. . .' she thought to herself. Mustering all the courage she could, she began to walk down the familiar block. She walked up the stairs of the front porch. Taking a deep breath, she rang the doorbell.
Moments later, Jamie answered the door.
"Hi," Caitie muttered quietly, unable to look him in the eye.
He couldn't help by stare at her beautiful face, her shiny hair, and her full lips. Breathing no longer became an automatic bodily process. He gasped for a breath of air before he could return the awkward greeting.
"Want to come in?" Jamie asked after an uncomfortable period of silence.
"Actually, why don't we go for a walk."
Jamie grabbed his leather jacket from the hall closet and closed the door behind him.
With his hands shoved in his pockets, Jamie stared at his feet while walking. Caitie wrapped her arms around herself and concentrated on the sound of rustling leaves.
Although a destination wasn't stated, it was clear that they were headed towards the bleachers. The green football field came into view.
Jamie followed Caitie up the bleacher benches. He sat down next to her, staring at the space in front of him.
"We need to talk," Caitie began.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything," Jamie blurted out. He didn't know what else to do. All he could think of is apologizing profusely.
"Why did you do it?" she asked.
"I kissed you because I'm in love with you." Jamie stated clearly with a sense of bravery supporting him. He told himself that the hard part was already over . . . he already changed their friendship forever by the kiss. Jamie clenched his jaw, waiting for a reaction.
"In love with me?" Caitie repeated. "You suddenly felt this way after you realized Jason was interested in me?"
"I've felt this way for a long time now. It just never seemed like the right time to tell you."
"And this was the right time?" she questioned.
"No. I didn't mean to surprise you like that. You have no idea how many times I planned on telling you, in the perfect way," Jamie admitted.
"I don't know what to do," Caitie stated with a soft sigh.
"Jason knows what happened. I told him yesterday."
Jamie nodded. "And?"
"He was understanding. Surprisingly. He told me to take my time resolving this."
"Do you really like him?" Jamie finally asked.
"Jamie . . ." Caitie began.
Jamie stopped her before her sentence could be uttered. He couldn't bear hearing what was already apparent. It was in her tone of voice.
"I understand." Jamie closed his eyes; trying to conceal the stabbing pain he was experiencing. He had finally revealed his feelings and received rejection instead. It wasn't the way he planned it. In his mind, she would return his love, and they would be happy. But the reality is that . . . his love was unrequited.
"He can't understand you the way I do. I don't think he can love you more than I can." His statement wasn't intended to persuade Caitie. It was what his heart felt.
"Please don't tell me we can't be friends anymore," Caitie pleaded. Her voice wavered while tears began to form in her eyes.
Jamie remained quiet. He wanted to give her an ultimatum; either him or Jason . . . but knew he couldn't make her choose. He refused the risk. He didn't know what he'd do if they couldn't be friends anymore.
He put his arm around Caitie and pulled her in closer for a hug. "I'm not going anywhere."
Taking in the sweet scent of Caitie's shampoo, he rested his head on hers. "I won't stop loving you. I can't. I want our relationship to be romantic, but platonic is almost as good," he reassured, lying through his teeth. Jamie secretly blamed himself for not telling her sooner, and mostly for going about it the wrong way. He put her in an awkward situation, and for that, he felt guilty.
Caitie pulled in closer realizing the intense depth of their friendship. "Jamie?"
"Yeah?" he responded.
"I'm really sorry," Caitie apologized. She'd hurt him. It was unintentional yet she hurt him nonetheless. She always promised she wouldn't harm him in any way, but she was doing just that.
The thought of change scared her. The new boundaries . . . nothing would ever be the same.
"Don't be," he commanded. He hoped that one day she'd return his feelings. Clinging on to that one possibility, he hugged her even tighter.
*
A/N: What did you think? Please review. I want to thank the wonderful people that reviewed my previous chapters! Also, a thanks is necessary for my beta reader.
"Did you like the movie?" Jason asked, trying to engage in conversation. Caitie had been quiet ever since they left the theater.
"Huh? It was okay. Did you like it?" She replied, feigning interest.
Jason remained silent for a few moments. "Caitie . . . can I ask you something? I don't know if it's inappropriate, but I really have to know."
Caitie nodded her head, as she continued to walk down the busy street.
"Let's sit down," Jason suggested, eying a bench a few feet away.
Jason and Caitie sat down at the wooden bench, outside the park. It was a cool brisk night. While sipping her hot chocolate, Caitie turned her attention to Jason.
"It's about Jamie. Is there, something I should know about?" Jason asked sheepishly.
"What do you mean?" she questioned, slightly taken aback.
"I know he's your best friend, but I sense that there's something more. He seemed almost jealous when I showed interest in you."
"Did he say anything?" she quickly asked, while a million scenarios ran through her mind.
"No, he didn't. It's just something I picked up on." Jason held his hot chocolate in his hand, bracing himself for the worst of news.
Silence once again dominated the conversation.
"He kissed me today," Caitie finally replied, after contemplating the event over and over again. She wondered if it was the right thing to do, but keeping it inside her drove her crazy. She couldn't bring herself to tell Val, not yet anyway. That was a phone call she was not looking forward too later that night. After Caitie dismissed Val's intuition about this entire matter, she felt foolish. She should have heeded the advice of her friend. The kiss defied the laws of her universe.
"Oh." Jason turned his gaze downwards, fixing it to the white paper cup.
"Now, there's a response," Caitie commented sarcastically.
"How do you feel about this? Listen, if there is something going on between you two, far be it for me to interfere. I just need to know where I stand."
"I don't know what's going on. He caught me completely off guard. Completely." Caitie felt defeated. She was sitting next to a wonderful guy, sabotaging their budding relationship.
"I really like you. I think we can be something meaningful together . . . I just need to know that you're interested in me too. I need to know where we stand, you know? It seems like you and Jamie have some issues to resolve, and until they are, I'll back off." Jason arose from the bench.
"I'll wait for you . . . until you're ready. I want to do this right." Jason smiled warmly at Caitie.
Caitie stood up from the wooden bench. It amazed her how understanding Jason was being. She had a difficult choice to make, between two wonderful guys. "You're really sweet. It's somewhat surprising, no offense," she replied in a manner too true to herself.
"Come on, I'll walk you home," Jason offered.
*
Jamie sat at the station early Saturday morning. An American History textbook remained opened and untouched since his arrival. Positioned comfortably on the couch, Jamie resided in a silent gaze.
Val entered the common room with a cup of tea in hand. She watched Jamie momentarily, fully aware of his melancholy state of appearance.
"Hi Jamie. Want a cup of tea?" she offered politely. She had a long talk with Caitie last night. She explained the event that occurred between Jamie and herself, as well as Jason's reaction.
Jamie broke his gaze from the wall momentarily to decline Val's offer.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"You probably know. You do know, don't you?" Jamie questioned.
Val nodded her head.
"Does she hate me?" Jamie asked sadly.
Val shook her head. "Why would you say that? I mean, what happened . . .confused her."
"I know. I ruined our friendship." Jamie buried his head in his hands. He let out a frustrated sigh.
"Listen, if your friendship is as strong as you believe it is, then it's not ruined. Caitie's a good friend, and she thinks the world of you. It might be awkward, but it'll work out," Val said reassuringly. "I promise."
Jamie nodded his head in agreement, not completely believing the statement himself.
"You liked her for a long time, didn't you?"
Surprised by the question, Jamie stared at Val. "Obvious?"
"I pick up on these things," Val replied with a warm smile.
"If you can, why can't she?"
"I guess, it's different when you're watching from the outside of a situation, then being a part of it. It took me awhile to figure out my relationship with Tyler."
"I remember that," Jamie replied. "You two danced around the prospect of dating for like a year."
"It worked out well, I would say!" Val stated positively, thinking of her happy relationship with Tyler. "He's really great."
"I better get some studying done," Jamie stated, not moving from his current position.
Val took the hint and decided to leave. "I'm going to stock some supplies. Give Brooke a load off, you know?" She began to leave the common room, heading towards the supply closet.
Although Val and Jamie have been working together on the same squad for over a year, the only common ground between the two was Caitie. They had a good working relationship that was developed with time and experience, yet their friendship remained distant. Val often wondered why Jamie seemed to be closer with the other squad members, and not herself . . . probably because they had nothing in common. The squad was like family, yet Jamie still saw her as a co-worker.
Lingering in the doorway, Val decided to make the first step in establishing their friendship. "If you need to talk, I'm here. We both care about Caitie, so that gives us something in common right?"
"Thanks Val. That means a lot." Jamie managed to smile slightly. He knew she tried time and time again to create a friendship. He concluded she was a friendly person.
Val returned the smile and walked into the supply closet.
*
Later that night, Caitie walked around her neighborhood. She quietly enjoyed the brisk weather Kingsport had been experiencing recently. She wrapped her sweater around herself tighter while walking in the leaves piled up on the side of the streets.
Caitie left for her walk an hour before, intent on speaking to Jamie. For some reason, she could not seem to bring herself to his house a few blocks away. Every time his block came within view, she turned the other way. Whether it was fear, nervousness or uncertainty, she was reluctant to face her best friend.
Once again Caitie approached Jamie's block. A motorcycle was parked in the driveway. 'He's home. . .' she thought to herself. Mustering all the courage she could, she began to walk down the familiar block. She walked up the stairs of the front porch. Taking a deep breath, she rang the doorbell.
Moments later, Jamie answered the door.
"Hi," Caitie muttered quietly, unable to look him in the eye.
He couldn't help by stare at her beautiful face, her shiny hair, and her full lips. Breathing no longer became an automatic bodily process. He gasped for a breath of air before he could return the awkward greeting.
"Want to come in?" Jamie asked after an uncomfortable period of silence.
"Actually, why don't we go for a walk."
Jamie grabbed his leather jacket from the hall closet and closed the door behind him.
With his hands shoved in his pockets, Jamie stared at his feet while walking. Caitie wrapped her arms around herself and concentrated on the sound of rustling leaves.
Although a destination wasn't stated, it was clear that they were headed towards the bleachers. The green football field came into view.
Jamie followed Caitie up the bleacher benches. He sat down next to her, staring at the space in front of him.
"We need to talk," Caitie began.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything," Jamie blurted out. He didn't know what else to do. All he could think of is apologizing profusely.
"Why did you do it?" she asked.
"I kissed you because I'm in love with you." Jamie stated clearly with a sense of bravery supporting him. He told himself that the hard part was already over . . . he already changed their friendship forever by the kiss. Jamie clenched his jaw, waiting for a reaction.
"In love with me?" Caitie repeated. "You suddenly felt this way after you realized Jason was interested in me?"
"I've felt this way for a long time now. It just never seemed like the right time to tell you."
"And this was the right time?" she questioned.
"No. I didn't mean to surprise you like that. You have no idea how many times I planned on telling you, in the perfect way," Jamie admitted.
"I don't know what to do," Caitie stated with a soft sigh.
"Jason knows what happened. I told him yesterday."
Jamie nodded. "And?"
"He was understanding. Surprisingly. He told me to take my time resolving this."
"Do you really like him?" Jamie finally asked.
"Jamie . . ." Caitie began.
Jamie stopped her before her sentence could be uttered. He couldn't bear hearing what was already apparent. It was in her tone of voice.
"I understand." Jamie closed his eyes; trying to conceal the stabbing pain he was experiencing. He had finally revealed his feelings and received rejection instead. It wasn't the way he planned it. In his mind, she would return his love, and they would be happy. But the reality is that . . . his love was unrequited.
"He can't understand you the way I do. I don't think he can love you more than I can." His statement wasn't intended to persuade Caitie. It was what his heart felt.
"Please don't tell me we can't be friends anymore," Caitie pleaded. Her voice wavered while tears began to form in her eyes.
Jamie remained quiet. He wanted to give her an ultimatum; either him or Jason . . . but knew he couldn't make her choose. He refused the risk. He didn't know what he'd do if they couldn't be friends anymore.
He put his arm around Caitie and pulled her in closer for a hug. "I'm not going anywhere."
Taking in the sweet scent of Caitie's shampoo, he rested his head on hers. "I won't stop loving you. I can't. I want our relationship to be romantic, but platonic is almost as good," he reassured, lying through his teeth. Jamie secretly blamed himself for not telling her sooner, and mostly for going about it the wrong way. He put her in an awkward situation, and for that, he felt guilty.
Caitie pulled in closer realizing the intense depth of their friendship. "Jamie?"
"Yeah?" he responded.
"I'm really sorry," Caitie apologized. She'd hurt him. It was unintentional yet she hurt him nonetheless. She always promised she wouldn't harm him in any way, but she was doing just that.
The thought of change scared her. The new boundaries . . . nothing would ever be the same.
"Don't be," he commanded. He hoped that one day she'd return his feelings. Clinging on to that one possibility, he hugged her even tighter.
*
A/N: What did you think? Please review. I want to thank the wonderful people that reviewed my previous chapters! Also, a thanks is necessary for my beta reader.
