*Author's Note part 1* Hey all! I finally finished it! Soooo, read and review, because Kokoro likes reviews, that she does! Oh yes, and much thanks to the wonderful HISO-CHAN who came up with the title for this one. *waves* Sankies so much fer helping this writer's blocked author! ^.^
Once More
Footsteps echoed softly off of the walls, lingering for but a moment in the cold, shadowed corridor before slowly fading away. I sighed to myself, putting my hand to my temple, trembling, a pitiful attempt to chase away the emptiness inside. Stopping suddenly, I leaned my body against the wall, my eyes clenched shut, a sick, hollow feeling in my chest.
And yet I could still hear footsteps, like a child's, small feet beating against the floor hurriedly towards me. His footsteps…
"Kharl-sama! Kharl-sama!" He was calling out to me. I opened my eyes, looked up, struggled to stand straight once more.
"Garfakcy!" I cried, trying desperately to answer him. Turning around, though stumbling at first, I ran towards the sound of his voice. "Garfakcy, I'm here! Garfa-"
No…no…I was met by nothing but silence and an empty hallway. He was still gone…I was still alone.
The echo…that sound of my voice calling his name slowly faded away. There was a long, heavy silence. Almost disbelieving I stared blankly down the hall, half consciously reaching out, trying with broken desperation to grab hold of him, to make him real again.
But no, I was alone.
In the silence, in this cold isolation, I could feel the urge to scream suddenly take hold of me. Scream and rid myself of this madness. Scream, cry, mourn all that I had lost with frightened, desperate tears.
But I didn't scream…I refused. This madness, this insanity that had grabbed hold of me…it was all that kept him here with me. Inside of me, he was still here, still scolding me, still huddled in my arms, warm and safe. And even though I couldn't protest, even though I couldn't run my fingers through his hair, even though I couldn't reach out and touch him, I still couldn't let go.
I couldn't let go.
Weakly pushing the door open, I stumbled into my room and slid down into the desk chair, half-heartedly sifting through the papers that blanketed the desk.
I had to find something to occupy my mind…something, anything. I needed something to lose myself in, just like I used to. Lose myself in my work and forget this pain…just for a little while. Just until he threw open the door again, just until he called me out once more…just until once more I reached out, trying to pull him to me once more, trying to make him real again.
Tossing papers and books aside, blindly searching through the clouds of dust, my hands suddenly found their way to a cool, metallic surface.
Holding on, pulling it closer to me, a small music box emerged from beneath the papers and trinkets. My heart could have stopped beating right then.
Slowly my fingers traced out the delicately carved floral patterns before they wandered to the small golden turn key. I looked on, not daring to breathe as I listened to the clicking sound of gears being wound.
Setting it down before myself, I gently flipped the lid open, closing my eyes, listening to the beautiful melody that drifted out. In my head it was more than the simple tinkling of the music box…it was a song, a gentle piano accompanied by the slow, mournful sound of a violin. It was so beautiful…so painful…
*
"Kharl-sama! Kharl-sama, I brought the books you asked for!"
Peering happily out the door, I smiled softly as he trotted quickly over to me, a small bag slung over his shoulder.
"Welcome back, Garfakcy," I grinned. He nodded slightly as I reached down and playfully mussed his soft, multicolored hair. I could have sworn he had let a smile grace his lips before he turned away and knelt down, opening up the bag, carefully lifting the books out one by one and stacking them neatly on the floor beside me. It was rare to see him smile like that…not that amusing, sadistic smirk of his, but a sweet, pure smile. The smile of a child. Such a rare treat.
"Oh…uhm, I also found this, Kharl-sama…" He looked up at me for a moment, emerald eyes shining in the dim light before looking down again and lifting a small music box from the bag. Standing, he held it out to me, somewhat of a wistful look filling his eyes before he suddenly righted himself. "Seeing as you like those trinkets so much…that only end up getting tossed into your piles of clutter…"
I took it from him, placing the small box in the palm of my hand, reaching down to turn the key. But it had already been wound. Suspiciously, I glanced back down at Garfakcy, who was already standing there glaring at me, a small stack of books in his arms.
"Do you want to me shelve these, Kharl-sama?"
"Ah…yes," I replied absentmindedly, watching as he disappeared into the study before lifting the lid of the music box, listening intently to its beautiful melody; a sweet, happy song, hinted with longing and unrequited love. Or so that was what my sometimes overly romantic imagination told me.
Garfakcy, was he…? No, I shook my head, chuckling to myself, even though something inside me was hurting. No, I was reading too much into things again. It was only a small trinket, no meaning behind it at all.
Yes, that's exactly what it was, I told myself as I slowly closed the lid.
*
Slowly the song ended, it's happy tune slowing to a halt as the gears wound down. Closing the lid, I sighed, burying my head in my arms, those last few notes echoing in my ears, making me deaf to my own sobs for just a little while.
"G-Garfakcy…" I gasped between hapless, pitiful sobs. I never thought I would be lying here, so weak, so defenseless, but here I was. Tears splashing onto the polished wood surface of the desk, puddling around my clenched fists, soaking into the sleeves of my shirt.
"Kharl-sama, hurry up!"
There was nothing left. I was so alone…so afraid. I hated this feeling of emptiness, fear slowly closing in around me. No one. There was no one. I was so alone, without even the hope that somewhere there was someone who needed to be found. No, this time he was really gone. I was really, truly alone.
"How long do you plan to keep yourself locked up in there? Kharl-sama!"
"Garfakcy, why did you have to leave me here?" Tears still flowed freely, even though I knew my eyes would soon get red and puffy and pained from the crying. "Here of all places…this damned world…why did you have to leave me here alone?"
Looking up only briefly I reached out, searching blindly with my hands, trying to find it…
"Kharl-sama!"
I had tried so many times to revive him…so many times. It was like I was powerless. Every time, failed. Every time. So, I suppose, if I couldn't bring him back to me, then…
Ah, there it was. I felt a lopsided smirk cross my face as my fingers slowly curled around the hilt of a dagger. Quickly unsheathing it, I rubbed my eyes as I hiccupped, slowly examining the blade. Truly, it was more for decoration that anything, encrusted in gold, silver, and precious gems. No doubt, the blade was quite dull, but even so…it would do.
After all, if I couldn't bring him to me, then I would have to go to him…
"I'll be right there, Garfakcy…" I whispered, trying to still my shaking body. "I'm coming…"
*
"Kharl-sama!"
I smiled softly as he threw himself into my open arms…just like a child. Just like before. Just like before…
"I-I'm here, Garfakcy…" I whispered softly, running my fingers through his soft hair. "I'm here…"
He didn't say anything in reply…at least not right away. He just stood there, in my arms, so perfect and beautiful, just like I had remembered him.
"It took you long enough…" he finally muttered, looking up, green eyes sparkling, irritated yet somehow pleased.
I looked down for a moment, chuckling silently to myself. There was no more blood. No more pain...just us. Forever.
*
*Author's Note Part 2* Okay, I know, took me long enough. Feel free to grab large rocks and stone me to death for that one. *throws hands up in the air* Corny, wouldn't you say? *points down to the 'submit review' box* See that? Yeah, that little box down there. Click it. Don't ask questions, just do it. :P
Footsteps echoed softly off of the walls, lingering for but a moment in the cold, shadowed corridor before slowly fading away. I sighed to myself, putting my hand to my temple, trembling, a pitiful attempt to chase away the emptiness inside. Stopping suddenly, I leaned my body against the wall, my eyes clenched shut, a sick, hollow feeling in my chest.
And yet I could still hear footsteps, like a child's, small feet beating against the floor hurriedly towards me. His footsteps…
"Kharl-sama! Kharl-sama!" He was calling out to me. I opened my eyes, looked up, struggled to stand straight once more.
"Garfakcy!" I cried, trying desperately to answer him. Turning around, though stumbling at first, I ran towards the sound of his voice. "Garfakcy, I'm here! Garfa-"
No…no…I was met by nothing but silence and an empty hallway. He was still gone…I was still alone.
The echo…that sound of my voice calling his name slowly faded away. There was a long, heavy silence. Almost disbelieving I stared blankly down the hall, half consciously reaching out, trying with broken desperation to grab hold of him, to make him real again.
But no, I was alone.
In the silence, in this cold isolation, I could feel the urge to scream suddenly take hold of me. Scream and rid myself of this madness. Scream, cry, mourn all that I had lost with frightened, desperate tears.
But I didn't scream…I refused. This madness, this insanity that had grabbed hold of me…it was all that kept him here with me. Inside of me, he was still here, still scolding me, still huddled in my arms, warm and safe. And even though I couldn't protest, even though I couldn't run my fingers through his hair, even though I couldn't reach out and touch him, I still couldn't let go.
I couldn't let go.
Weakly pushing the door open, I stumbled into my room and slid down into the desk chair, half-heartedly sifting through the papers that blanketed the desk.
I had to find something to occupy my mind…something, anything. I needed something to lose myself in, just like I used to. Lose myself in my work and forget this pain…just for a little while. Just until he threw open the door again, just until he called me out once more…just until once more I reached out, trying to pull him to me once more, trying to make him real again.
Tossing papers and books aside, blindly searching through the clouds of dust, my hands suddenly found their way to a cool, metallic surface.
Holding on, pulling it closer to me, a small music box emerged from beneath the papers and trinkets. My heart could have stopped beating right then.
Slowly my fingers traced out the delicately carved floral patterns before they wandered to the small golden turn key. I looked on, not daring to breathe as I listened to the clicking sound of gears being wound.
Setting it down before myself, I gently flipped the lid open, closing my eyes, listening to the beautiful melody that drifted out. In my head it was more than the simple tinkling of the music box…it was a song, a gentle piano accompanied by the slow, mournful sound of a violin. It was so beautiful…so painful…
"Kharl-sama! Kharl-sama, I brought the books you asked for!"
Peering happily out the door, I smiled softly as he trotted quickly over to me, a small bag slung over his shoulder.
"Welcome back, Garfakcy," I grinned. He nodded slightly as I reached down and playfully mussed his soft, multicolored hair. I could have sworn he had let a smile grace his lips before he turned away and knelt down, opening up the bag, carefully lifting the books out one by one and stacking them neatly on the floor beside me. It was rare to see him smile like that…not that amusing, sadistic smirk of his, but a sweet, pure smile. The smile of a child. Such a rare treat.
"Oh…uhm, I also found this, Kharl-sama…" He looked up at me for a moment, emerald eyes shining in the dim light before looking down again and lifting a small music box from the bag. Standing, he held it out to me, somewhat of a wistful look filling his eyes before he suddenly righted himself. "Seeing as you like those trinkets so much…that only end up getting tossed into your piles of clutter…"
I took it from him, placing the small box in the palm of my hand, reaching down to turn the key. But it had already been wound. Suspiciously, I glanced back down at Garfakcy, who was already standing there glaring at me, a small stack of books in his arms.
"Do you want to me shelve these, Kharl-sama?"
"Ah…yes," I replied absentmindedly, watching as he disappeared into the study before lifting the lid of the music box, listening intently to its beautiful melody; a sweet, happy song, hinted with longing and unrequited love. Or so that was what my sometimes overly romantic imagination told me.
Garfakcy, was he…? No, I shook my head, chuckling to myself, even though something inside me was hurting. No, I was reading too much into things again. It was only a small trinket, no meaning behind it at all.
Yes, that's exactly what it was, I told myself as I slowly closed the lid.
Slowly the song ended, it's happy tune slowing to a halt as the gears wound down. Closing the lid, I sighed, burying my head in my arms, those last few notes echoing in my ears, making me deaf to my own sobs for just a little while.
"G-Garfakcy…" I gasped between hapless, pitiful sobs. I never thought I would be lying here, so weak, so defenseless, but here I was. Tears splashing onto the polished wood surface of the desk, puddling around my clenched fists, soaking into the sleeves of my shirt.
"Kharl-sama, hurry up!"
There was nothing left. I was so alone…so afraid. I hated this feeling of emptiness, fear slowly closing in around me. No one. There was no one. I was so alone, without even the hope that somewhere there was someone who needed to be found. No, this time he was really gone. I was really, truly alone.
"How long do you plan to keep yourself locked up in there? Kharl-sama!"
"Garfakcy, why did you have to leave me here?" Tears still flowed freely, even though I knew my eyes would soon get red and puffy and pained from the crying. "Here of all places…this damned world…why did you have to leave me here alone?"
Looking up only briefly I reached out, searching blindly with my hands, trying to find it…
"Kharl-sama!"
I had tried so many times to revive him…so many times. It was like I was powerless. Every time, failed. Every time. So, I suppose, if I couldn't bring him back to me, then…
Ah, there it was. I felt a lopsided smirk cross my face as my fingers slowly curled around the hilt of a dagger. Quickly unsheathing it, I rubbed my eyes as I hiccupped, slowly examining the blade. Truly, it was more for decoration that anything, encrusted in gold, silver, and precious gems. No doubt, the blade was quite dull, but even so…it would do.
After all, if I couldn't bring him to me, then I would have to go to him…
"I'll be right there, Garfakcy…" I whispered, trying to still my shaking body. "I'm coming…"
I smiled softly as he threw himself into my open arms…just like a child. Just like before. Just like before…
"I-I'm here, Garfakcy…" I whispered softly, running my fingers through his soft hair. "I'm here…"
He didn't say anything in reply…at least not right away. He just stood there, in my arms, so perfect and beautiful, just like I had remembered him.
"It took you long enough…" he finally muttered, looking up, green eyes sparkling, irritated yet somehow pleased.
I looked down for a moment, chuckling silently to myself. There was no more blood. No more pain...just us. Forever.
