Setting free

Tifa walked down the deck, alone in the Highwind. The crew, Cid, Vincent, Barret, Yuffie and Nanaki were gone to find their own reason to fight, so the brunette fighter was alone here. She had nowhere to go, Nibelheim wasn't her hometown anymore. She was trying to find her real reason to fight, why would she go? Vengeance? To save the Planet? No… she couldn't. As much as she hated to admit it, she had put her father's death behind her since a long time, now, and with the elements Cloud had brought her on Sephiroth's state of mind at that time, she couldn't go as far as killing him for it. She surely wanted to save the Planet, but…

- Am I fighting for myself? Why should I go? Cloud said he had a very personal reason…

She walked, walked and walked until she had enough. Good. Now she was confused and tired. The chocobo stables were nearby, so Tifa decided to do pay a visit to Millo and Arche.

- Millo! Arche!… Cloud?!? What are you doing here?!?

The blond lifted feebly his head toward her, and even before she could notice the empty bottle she could tell he had been drinking, for some time and a lot. She got closer to him, her eyes taking a real wrinkle of worry when she saw the three empty bottles of Vodka lying next to him, without counting the one already half empty in his hands. The former barmaid sighed, bending down to help him to stand up.

- Come on, you need fresh air.

Cloud wobbled next to Tifa, both getting out to sit on the grass. The blond, after few minutes, began to be more coherent, enough for Tifa.

- You hurt, she said, embracing him, You hurt because of him. He was a friend of yours. You don't want to kill him but you have to, that's why you hurt so much, isn't it?

- He… was a very, very good /friend/ o'mine, he slurred, m'be more… (he couldn't tell her, he couldn't, no, no, no…)… like a father. He is still fightin', y'know…

Tifa raised an eyebrow.

- JENOVA… da damn bitch 's controlin' him, but his spirit his still fightin'

- Then, we only have to kill JENO-

- No, it won't work… 'Cause Seph cast meteor… if w'want t'save the Planet…

- We have to kill Sephiroth anyway… Oh Cloud… I understand, now.

She embraced him tightly, pulling his head on her shoulder. She had found her reason to fight. But beside that, Cloud began to talk more, never telling her he loved him, though, taking off everything he had on his heart, and some drunken babble. He was trembling, too, he was in need for human contact and physical warmth. After that night, nothing would be sure, nothing, and the more the hours passed, the more he felt he wouldn't come back. When he felt Tifa kiss him gently on the cheek, he couldn't help but let fall the tears he was holding back.

- What's wrong, Cloud? Why are you crying?

- I feel so… so bad for this… I need this but… but… I can't give you my heart, Tifa. I won't… come back… you know this…

- It's her, isn't it?

She was referring to Aerith.

- No. Aerith was Zack's girlfriend. I think she knew it was him in me. It's me, I-I…

- Cloud… Don't feel so guilty, we may not come back at all, so… let's have this moment, together. Just you and me, nobody have to know it, okay? I want you at peace with yourself, if only for tonight.

Although Cloud said he needed it, although he did what he did that night, his heart bled thorough it all, worrying Tifa, and remembering him his failed promise to his true love. Though his body felt the heat of a lovemaking, his heart remained cold as ice, and his eyes shed crystal tears of despair and pain.

********

Meanwhile, in Rocket Town, Reeve (in the form of Cait Sith), Shera, Cid and Vincent were taking tea. Well, the robot was, for the moment, turned off. The pilot had something very important to tell Shera.

- Listen, Shera, he started, I know I can't apologize for years of %?ing yellin' and treatin' you like shit an' all… I don't want you to think that you ever did something to piss me off, okay? It was all my fault. Now, listen, an' I don't want to hear ya yappin or anything… you see, Vincent is…

- Your boyfriend, she finished

*Can you hear crickets chirping?* Silence. Vincent was frozen in place, Cid had his mouth hanging down, both men couldn't believe that Shera could have seen /that/ when the six other person they lived with every day hadn't noticed at all.

- The way you look at him, Cid. It's the look I never had from you. I am not mad at you, Cid, I'll never will, and I don't mind, she said, smiling. So… How have you been?

- Shera…, continued Cid, We've been well, until now. What I had to say, apart that… err… relationship is that we are goin' into the pits of hell, and we may not come back. So, if it happens I want ya to have the house an' all my business, 'kay? I know you're the most qualified person in all that place able to take care of my things.

Shera suddenly let go of her tea cup; it shattered on the floor. Cid stood up and hugged the woman. Vincent put his hand on her shoulder, knowing that the pilot was at loss for words right now.

- Miss Shera, I will do everything in my power to bring him back alive.

- I know…, she sobbed, but please, be careful… And stay the night. I will prepare you a good diner, Nibel roast and an apple pie, okay?

Both men nodded. Well, it wasn't every day they could have Nibel roast…

********

 Cloud woke up with a painful migraine, and immediately upon opening his eyes he turned on his side to retch. With a certain sense of gratefulness, he noticed that someone had placed the trashcan just where it should be; beside the bed. His stomach eventually clamed down, but not his head, it was still throbbing like hell, so he just sagged back into the pillows. And then, he heard the soft 'swish' of the door and a very familiar head poked into the room.

- Hey! Spiky head!!! So you're finally awake!

The blond covered his hears in a hurry at the sudden shriek. Light popped before his very eyes and he felt like shit. Cold was laid on his forehead in the form of an smooth ice pack.

- So you really got drunk last night?, Yuffie asked, quieter this time.

- Sorry 'bout that, he whispered

- Ya really don have to apologize, he recognized Barret's voice, after what Teef told us, well, we're ain't stupid b'"*?, we can understand.

- You… you all came back?

- Hell yes we did! Who would have piloted this baby home afterward?

Cloud smiled weakly.

- Thank you.

- Now that all this is settled, stated Vincent, maybe we should leave you to rest and recover. We still have two days of travel and we have to stop to restock on items. You have plenty of time ahead of you to cure that inebriety of yours…

Groaning, Cloud just turned his back to everyone and returned to sleep. Those two days were indeed preparative for the battle that was coming. Cloud's head was strangely light and empty as he tried to come up with a plan or something. Finally, the blond just gave up, and passed the few hours he had left on the outer deck of the Highwind, looking at the stars, but as soon as his eyes fell on the bright lights, tears seeped out.

- I will keep my promise, I swear…, he said softly, wait for me…

Maybe he was just imagining the rest, but the wind seemed to wrap around him somehow, it felt warmer. I am already waiting… come and set me free… Cloud slid down to the ground, leaning against the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees. He fell asleep there, wondering if the warmth he felt was Sephiroth's spirit sticking around him.

Meanwhile, inside, Cid and Vincent were just talking together, taking time to clear up some things between them. Well, the pilot was worried about their leader, a lot more since the night he had barged in, looking like he could just throw himself off the ship. The ex-Turk had told them the blond had remembered that Sephiroth was more than a friend to him and that he was plagued by terrible nightmares.

- Cid, Sephiroth was Cloud's boyfriend. It's killing him.

As a an answer to this statement, the pilot cursed, letting himself fall on the mattress. So that was the answer… Soon Vincent slipped into his arms to cuddle, and they didn't say a word until the morning.

Yuffie was unable to sleep, so she kept company to Red XIII, listening to him talking about the stars. Barret and Tifa played cards all night long, like they used to do when they were part of the original AVALANCHE. Dawn came slowly, with his orange and golden glows. Everyone searched around for Cloud, and they finally found him on the deck.

- Okay… So you are all still here, listen to me. We are going inside the Crater. Some of us may not come back myself first, he thought, Sephiroth is waiting for me, he's waiting to be freed, so I ask, all of you to leave him to me, and prepare to battle for your life.

Avalanche nodded. They were ready to go and try to save the Planet. Cloud made the first step, and he disappeared into the dark depths of the Northern Crater.

*********

Cloud looked up high in the air, his God, his Living God was flying above him, so much magnificence was tearing him. His wings were soft but sharp as the edge of the Masamune, Cid and Vincent discovered that. They were covered by deep cuts and gashes, Vincent had the cover materia and was mostly covering Cid from being knocked out by Safer Sephiroth's attacks. Though they had defeated JENOVA, the bond linking them did not seemed to weaken yet. Sephiroth had transformed before their very eyes into a hideous form, then into this Angel of Death. Cloud was feeling pity for him, he knew his spirit was still in the Lifestream, and that he was seeing everything, he was hurting.

- Super Nova!

The giant cosmic ball engulfed them, burning their already hot skin. Red XIII retaliated immediately, but the feathery wing send him back harshly. Cloud looked around him; Cid was out cold, Vincent, exhausted tried to protect him from the next attack. Yuffie, Barret and Tifa on the ground, wounded. But the blond would have no more of that, he raised his sword and thrust it forward. Wings and feathers disappeared, leaving only a body, silver hair and black pants standing before him with a shining purple blade sticking out of his back. It was Sephiroth. He had killed Sephiroth.

- No!!! Seph! Seph, answer me!

He wrenched his sword out of his lover, who shakily fell on his knees, the Masamune clashing on the ground. Cloud caught him as Holy was released, threatening to destroy the Crater on it's way out. Tears seeped out; his heart had shattered in million pieces. Slowly, Cloud bent down his head and kissed away the blood and dirt from Sephiroth's face, noticing sadly that he was still the most beautiful thing on earth.

- I'm so sorry… please forgive me, he whispered

Green eyes opened with difficulty and his hand lifted to touch the blond's shoulder weakly.

- Thank… you, Cloud.

His voice was hoarse from lack of use, his numerous wounds and the mental wreck state in which he was prevented him from fully express what he really meant, but he did say the words Cloud awaited to hear, though not in those circumstances.

- I… love you… goodbye…

As the earth shattered around them, Cloud Strife embraced his lover, refusing to let go. He was still there, but the blond knew he would never be the same. Only a shadow would remain from this wound. Cloud Strife, at this very moment, died.

End

Author's notes

Waaaaaaaaahahahahaha!!!!! *sniffle* Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeephyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Cloud: Htress, Seph is not dead, Aerith will send him back in 'Peace upon us… Please', remember?

Htress: I knooooooooooooow!!!! But I jut watched 'Samurai X: reflection' I'm saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!! *bawls her eyes out*

Cloud: The one where Kenshin *lips shaking* dies?

Htress: Yes T_T

Silence….

Silence…

Long silence…

Cloud : Meaniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie ! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!! I hated that movie ! Kenshin dies! Sephy's dead! I want my Sephy back!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

*Sephiroth enters with grocery bags and chibi Htress and Cloud look up at him with teary eyes before glomping him in despair*

Both: Sephyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! *cry*

Sephiroth: Oka~ay, I see Htress finished the fic… You will be overjoyed to hear that She decided to re-read Peace upon us Please, and she'll be adding new scenes, and she will post the first chappie of Memories of Gold soon! Be patient! Also, she's working on few one-shots and 'A courtesan's scroll', co authored by Blue Baroness and her!