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~*~
Dream Keeper: Well folks, standard yada. I do not own Gundam Wing. *Sniffs* I wish I did but I don't. The G-boys and girls belong to their respectable owners. I am just using them for this twisted fic. I promise to return them, only slightly worse for the wear when we're through with them.
Christa: Ak! Sorry AGAIN for being away for so long. We've been really loaded down with homework and this idiot has had be helping her with her music and her English work! *makes a face*
Dream Keeper: No one asked you to help, though I am grateful even if it is really easy junk. *sigh* Yeah! I'm the top student in my English class! *does a dance around the room with Christa* Okay, this chapter may be a bit jerky because I'm out of practice.. So please forgive me and my muse.
Christa: And also, this chapter goes out to Ayako, Lady Star, mooncancer, and Firesong, or is it Raging Fire now? Can't keep track.... hmm.. gotta check that out.. If there are any other loyal reviewers we'll dedicate the next chapter to you also! *glomps all the reviewers* Okay, on with the fic!
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"Our he is really a she." Duo said calmly.
"What?!" Wufei finally managed to stutter after a moments shock. "How in the world. why." he trailed off, unable to finish a coherent thought.
"I can explain everything." Alex said franticly, searching each of the shocked faces in turn for some kind of sign that they'd give her a chance.
"I think you had better explain yourself _now_." Heero said as he leveled his gun at Alex. "Start by telling us your name. Your _real_ name." The voice that he'd come to associate as Alex's was much too masculine and void of emotion for the girl sitting before them.
"I told you my name was Alex, Heero." she said to them, her voice still bland and deeper than it should have been.
"That's a boy's name, not a girls!" Duo burst out.
"It is commonly associated as a boy's but it can also double as a girls. Alexander is the masculine version and Alexandra or Alexandria are the feminine versions, though I don't see what a name has anything to do with this. Its something other people give you, there's no sense worrying about it," she snapped at him. Duo faintly remembered when he'd said the exact same words to his friend Trowa.
"Knock it off with the fake voice Alex, we already know you're a girl." Heero snapped just as venomously.
"Huh, my voice? Oh." She reached behind her damp locks and unclasped a wire so thin it was almost invisible. On the wire dangled a nearly microscopic chip. A drop of blood formed at the hollow of her neck and Alex applied pressure there with the neckline of her shirt. "Happy now Heero?" she asked them. Much to their surprise, instead of her voice being sweet, it sounded old and rusty, cracking on every syllable. She smiled wryly at them. "Are you going to shoot me or not?"
"I don't have to. You are at my mercy."
"Stop it Heero." Quatre demanded, his voice carrying an edge as sharp as a knife. You will not lay a finger on that girl and if you kill her, I swear that I will kill you myself with my bare hands." Everyone in the group, including Alex, stared at him, mouths agape. Heero was so surprised that he momentarily loosened his hold on his gun.
Alex lunged and disarmed Heero in a single swift move, dropping and rolling behind him, and coming gracefully to her feet. She didn't bother to raise the gun, just held it out to Quatre. He took it and placed it in his back pocket after emptying the chamber and taking the clip out.
"Thank you Alex," he said calmly to her.
"How come you're being so calm about this Quatre? He, err, she lied to you, she got Cathy shot, and she--"
"She saved Hildie and Relena's life, she kept us all alive and on top of all this, I already knew she was a girl."
"What?!" she croaked since that was as close to a screech as she could manage.
"That memory, you looked in the mirror." Alex's eyes widened but she said nothing.
"Okay, I don't think I want to know. What in the world is that and what is up with your voice?"
"I'll explain it all to you in a moment. If you don't mind, I need to see Sally." She indicated the slight bleeding of her wound with a hand. All of them had the sense to know Sally would kill them all if they didn't allow the girl to see her.
"Fine." Was all Heero said before he stormed off down the hall to summon the resident doctor.
~*~
"Now, since I seem to be at your disposal, ask me any question you wish." Alex mentally cursed herself for being stupid enough not to lock the door to her room and for not taking the voice override device off every night like she'd thought she should have.
"Why the hell didn't you tell us you were a girl?" Heero snapped, peeved as ever at her.
"You never asked me so I wasn't inclined to tell you. Next question?"
"Why didn't you feel inclined to tell us?"
"It would have compromised my mission, I thought if I kept it from you I would be safer, and I had instructions that unless you asked, to tell you nothing more than what you absolutely needed to know."
"Why did you let Cathy get hit instead of anyone else, and where'd you get the gun?"
"It wouldn't have hit anyone if you hadn't insisted on playing hero you bastard! If you're implying that I chose for her to be the hit you're wrong! I didn't want anything to happen to any of you but I had to choice thanks to you!" she said, her voice choked with emotion and rising with every word until it was an unbearable screech. Everyone in the room, including herself, flinched.
"You're saying it's my fault?" Heero growled, his voice turning deadly.
"If I hadn't had to keep trying to go back and redo everything to keep YOU from dying Cathy wouldn't have a hole in her right now!" She shouted.
"Ouch, could you tone it down a bit Alex? Sheesh, has your voice always been like that?" Duo complained, trying to end the one on one interrogation between Heero and her. They were shooting questions back and forth so fast that no one else could get a word in edgewise.
"No, its only this way because of the device I had around my neck." She pulled her shirt collar down far enough that they could all see the four nearly microscopic puncture wounds on her neck. "It was a partial implant that made it possible for me to sound the way I did and take on the masculine role of Alex. Unfortunately, the side effect is that it warps your voice. In my case it is beyond recognition.
"If it ever goes back to normal I assume that at least one of you will be able to place me from a school you went to, or.. somewhere else. The bad thing is, at least for you, the affects may, or may not, be permanent. Had I worn in for another day, I know it would have been irreversible."
All of them stared at her for a moment before Trowa spoke up. "What are those white pills you have hidden somewhere?"
"What?!" she asked too quickly to be curious, confirming that she did indeed have them.
"I saw you taking one the morning you came, and this morning also. What are they?"
"I can't tell you," she said quietly, her dove gray eyes pleading with him to understand.
"Answer his question Alex. You're among friends, there's no reason you shouldn't trust us." Quatre said encouragingly, glad for once that the girls were all out of the house on another shopping spree with Zechs keeping watch over them.
Her face grew somber for a moment before she said something aloud that seemed to carry much heartache and anger, something that she never meant to say, something that made her sound like a frightened little girl for just a moment.
"Don't listen to any of them. All they will tell you is lies, all they will give you I deceit, all they will cultivate is doubt. None of them are worth talking with if it isn't vital. None of them are so important that they can't be taken out of the picture if the need arises. None of them can, or will, help you and none of them will offer you any shelter from what you are. You are a murderer Alex, don't forget it. That is the job you were born for and that is the job you will fulfil. None of them could ever understand you. They will only see you as an utter monstrosity. Hide what you are, right down to the fact that you are female."
A moment of silence followed and it was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. It left no doubt in anyone's minds who had trained her. As Quatre looked around the room it became evident that not even Heero was unaffected by what she'd said. In fact, much to anyone's surprise, he looked upon her with concern written all over his face.
"Why do you listen to what they said to you before you left?" Quatre asked softly.
"You know what happened Quatre. I'm a murderer of friends and enemies alike. My best friend will never be borne and my hands are so stained with blood that I'm afraid they will never be clean." She shuddered involuntarily.
"And ours are not? It doesn't matter what you did in your past, it matters what kind of future you make for yourself. As long as you live for the good of the world you will be able to live a normal life just like any of us." Trowa said quietly. "Drag yourself out of that self invoked pit of despair and get on with your life. You're here now and you're out of the Doctor's reaches. They can't control you any more."
"Trowa, you never murdered in cold blood just for the sake of revenge and you're wrong. They still control me even without being here. Do you think I'm the only one who can change the past? They can make it to where I was never borne, but that doesn't matter. I'm here and I've got a mission to finish so if you'll finish this interrogation?"
"It doesn't matter?" Wufei shouted. "What about us then?"
"They can just as easily go back, kill me, and train my older sister. It wouldn't mean more to them than swatting a fly."
"You speak of it so calmly," he said sarcastically.
Alex looked him in the eye and stated, "There hasn't been a single day that has gone by in the last four years of my life that I longed for death, slow or quick. The only reason I never killed myself is because I have a mission here to finish." She shrugged, "Maybe after this I will be able to embrace the sweet arms of the angel of death, but until then my duty is to protect you."
"What?!" Quatre shouted. "That's the only reason you didn't kill yourself? Did you ever think how your parents would feel?"
"Quatre, they're dead."
"What about your friends?"
"Also dead. Everyone around me dies Quatre."
"So why didn't you just kill yourself and save yourself the trouble of training?"
Alex looked at the floor and shrugged. For a moment she said nothing, but then a barely audible whisper was heard admitting, "I tried to once, but I couldn't. I didn't have the backbone to."
Quatre relaxed entirely and sat back in his chair. "Its not that you didn't have the backbone Alex, it's that you had too much. You knew you couldn't die because people needed you and because you weren't weak enough to choose the cowards way out of your duty. Hell, you couldn't choose the cowards way out of life." He emphasized his statement by cursing, which he VERY rarely did.
"You had a sister?" Trowa asked suddenly.
"Yes, I told you about her the night I came here to stay. She killed herself."
"Did you have any other siblings?"
"Yes." Alex said hesitantly, not sure in which direction the conversation had turned.
"Younger or older?"
"I don't know. I never met-"
"It was younger then." Trowa said, cutting him off. "Well, that definitely cuts down the number of people who could be your parents to three couples."
"What?!" Alex exclaimed, her voice returning a little bit back to normal, as she realized just how much information she had given them.
"That leaves it at just myself and whoever I marry, Quatre and his future bride, and you, Heero, and Relena."
"She is most assuredly not my daughter." Quatre said, holding up his hands.
"Quatre!" Alex cried as she realized how he'd betrayed her.
"You never swore me to secrecy Alex. You might as well tell us." Alex's face paled considerably, which he'd thought was nearly impossible since it was already a chalky white. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Heero pale also as it dawned on him what Trowa had said.
"How dare you!" She screamed at them as she ran from the room before any of them could stop her.
"I think that went well." Duo said sarcastically.
"Shove it, Duo." Heero snapped as he stalked off to some unknown location in the house. Duo followed his example. A moment later they heard a car start up and drive off.
"You two shouldn't have done that. That just proved to her what those loony scientists said about us." Wufei rebuked them sternly, his anger more than evident. "I don't care what kind of games you two are playing, but that kid is messed up really bad and you two aren't helping matters any. She's like a horse. If you're its friend it will be yours, but if you beat it, it will never trust you again. You two just blew it, maybe for all of us." With that, he too left the room.
"I'm beginning to think our plan wasn't such a good idea." Trowa said to Quatre, who just nodded.
~*~
Alex wasn't seen for two days after the incident with the men, but food was reported stolen from the kitchen every day. Quatre had ordered that the house be searched but it was a fairly large mansion and the chances of finding someone who really didn't want to be caught were slim to none. All of the men gave up looking after the initial sweep of the house, knowing that she'd come out of hiding when she was ready to.
~*~
Alex stole down the stairs with the stealth of a cat. She'd waited until past midnight to make her move to ensure that all but the most active of night owls would be in their beds and long past asleep. She stuck to the shadows just to be safe and quietly made her way to the mansions garage. There were a multitude of cars sitting there, waiting for her to choose one. Knowing that it would be the least visible Alex chose a pure black pickup truck.
She made sure to take extra care to obscure the numbers on the license plate with mud so the car wouldn't be traced back to Quatre. Then, trusting that her luck would hold, she opened the garage door and threw the car in reverse. When she was outside the garage she drove as quickly away from the mansion as possible.
***
Quatre was in the kitchen making a cup of tea. He hadn't slept much the past two nights since Alex had gone into hiding. Guilt ate away at him like a caterpillar at a leaf and it was absolutely maddening. He'd never been so helpless to do something about a mistake he'd made in his life.
He was just getting ready to head off to his room to see if he could go back to sleep when he heard the sound of one of the garage doors opening. "What in the world?" he said as he went over to a window and looked out so see his black pickup go shooting up the driveway and out onto the road. A cold chill swept over him as he realized who was driving it.
***
'Huh, I never thought I'd be doing this again. Wait a minute, I've never done this before. I've never even had a driving lesson!' Alex thought and felt fear rising like water from a spring in her chest. "Be rational now Alex. You have driven before, you've just never stolen a car. or have you. Oh great, I don't think this was such a good idea."
She knew she had to talk to herself of go completely crazy so she concentrated on saying the most obvious things she knew. It would at least keep her sane as she drove. "My name is Alex. I am twenty years old, no, I'm fifteen or. am I ten. No, I'm fifteen, I think. I have an older brother who's name is Daric, no, that's not right.. I had an older sister but she was killed. no, she killed herself. Oh damn it! Pull it together Alex! You know this crap! It's a stupid mental exercise that you've had to do a million times!" She sighed and tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "But I've never had a thousand lifetimes running around in my head before."
'I could just end it,' she thought suddenly. 'I could just drive the car off the road. Quatre would be upset that I messed up his car, but. But he'd be dead by morning you fool. Keep your mind on the mission. Besides, you don't have the guts to do it anyway. You're not a coward, so no taking the cowards way out.'
Alex fought with herself between trying to do her mental exercises as she drove along the nearly deserted road. It wasn't more than ten minutes later that she reached her rendezvous point. She pulled the car in, cut the lights, and killed the engine. If anyone drove by they'd think it was just some night worker pulled off on the side of the road to get some shut eye so they would kill themselves by running off a cliff.
A slight tap on the window made Alex look up and pale. Right outside her window stood David, Dr. J's apprentice.
"What are you doing here?" She hissed at him as he fished in the duffel bag he carried for something.
"You could be at least a little more grateful, you know," he snapped at her.
"I need Dr. J, not you David! I need to know that the situation hasn't deteriorated that badly!"
"Oh, its worse than you think!" he said cheerfully as he pulled out a bottle of white pills and handed them to her. "Professor G and Master O are dead. They were assassinated three days ago. Doctor S is in a coma and Dr. J is too scared to leave the lab. Don't know what happened to Instructor H. No one's seen or heard from him in a week so he's officially written off as MIA."
"Wonderful." A spasm of pain wracked her body and left her so weak she fell foreword onto the steering wheel. David cursed in twelve different languages and gently hauled her out of the car and lowered her carefully to the ground.
"Why didn't you tell me you were this far gone!?" he hissed at her. "At this rate you've. the mission."
"I knew the risks when I accepted the mission and I don't have a moments regret. Please though, I have to get back to the mansion before the car is missed." David moved to help her back up but she clutched at his arm. "Please, make the pain stop. I can't think straight. I've got a thousand different memories for a single action. Please, help me," she begged.
"You took your voice implant out." He said matter-of-factly as he noticed her severely mistreated voice.
"I had to. I had no choice."
"You've compromised the mission. I'm taking you back with me."
"No! Not when I'm so close. Just fix this problem and I'll go back and work everything out. I think they've only been killed in the future. I can keep them safe if I can find them. Help me."
David nodded curtly and went to retrieve something from the car he'd "borrowed."
~*~
The g-boys were all waiting outside when a black pickup came creeping sluggishly up the driveway. The engine died when it was less than seven feet from them and the door opened.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"What were you thinking?!"
"You could have gotten yourself killed!"
"You suicidal idiot!"
"I ought to shoot you myself!"
"How could you do something so stupid?!" all of them yelled at once. Alex ignored them and tried to exit the car. All she succeeded in doing was fall into a helpless heap on the gravel of the driveway. She tried to stand twice before she gave up and stayed down.
"Damn this weak body," she snarled as she slammed her fist against the ground. Her body chose that moment to rebel. She shuddered and wretched for a moment before finally loosing the fight, and the few contents of her stomach upon the ground. Finally sensing that she wasn't just acting to get out of trouble they all moved forward to help her.
"What have you done to yourself?" Quatre asked as he helped her to stand. He steadied her for a moment so she could get her balance. She took two steps towards the house and collapsed in an unconscious heap on the ground.
"Alex!" they all cried.
Amazingly enough it was Heero that bent down to pick her up and carry her into the house. "Quatre, get some extra blankets. Trowa, get a rag. I want it cold. Duo, get Sally. Wufei, please help me get her into bed. She's shivering but she's burning up with fever. Move!" he yelled when they all stayed rooted to the spot they stood, stunned.
They all did as they were told. Wufei helped Heero by opening doors for him until they reached Alex's room and the others went about their assigned tasks. "Wufei, I need you to help me undress her."
"Say what?!" Wufei balked.
"Her clothes are freezing Wufei, and they're damp. She's sick, she needs to get out of them or she'll only get worse."
"But."
"You can help me or not. Make a decision. It's only down to her undergarments. After that Sally is on her own." Wufei finally grudgingly helped him strip the girl down to her bandages and underwear before pulling the covers back so Heero could lay her down. Sally came in at the moment and shooed them both from the room.
~*~
"Geeze, you're all milling around out here like expectant fathers!" Sally joked as she stepped out into the hall. All heads snapped up to look at her. "Okay, lighten up a bit will ya'? She's fine, it's just a really bad case of the flue." A sigh of relief greeted her welcome advice and all of the young men visibly relaxed. One by one they all drifted off to complete the work they had waiting for them until only Heero remained.
He took a tentative step into the room and leaned back against the doorframe, watching the sleeping girl, wondering who she was. It was a puzzle he wanted to find out, but didn't know how to go about it. "I'll learn who you are Alex. That I promise you." He whispered as he exited the room and went back to his wife.
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Dream Keeper: Okay, it's not as long as I wanted it to be but I already have people throwing pointy objects at me so here it is. EEP! *ducks as a knife goes whizzing past her nose* HELP!
Christa: *also dodging projectiles* Don't look at me! Ak! Okay, okay! It's up already! Hope you liked it. Don't forget to R&R which means read AND REVIEW! Next chapter who knows when! Bye! AK!
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Dream Keeper: Well folks, standard yada. I do not own Gundam Wing. *Sniffs* I wish I did but I don't. The G-boys and girls belong to their respectable owners. I am just using them for this twisted fic. I promise to return them, only slightly worse for the wear when we're through with them.
Christa: Ak! Sorry AGAIN for being away for so long. We've been really loaded down with homework and this idiot has had be helping her with her music and her English work! *makes a face*
Dream Keeper: No one asked you to help, though I am grateful even if it is really easy junk. *sigh* Yeah! I'm the top student in my English class! *does a dance around the room with Christa* Okay, this chapter may be a bit jerky because I'm out of practice.. So please forgive me and my muse.
Christa: And also, this chapter goes out to Ayako, Lady Star, mooncancer, and Firesong, or is it Raging Fire now? Can't keep track.... hmm.. gotta check that out.. If there are any other loyal reviewers we'll dedicate the next chapter to you also! *glomps all the reviewers* Okay, on with the fic!
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"Our he is really a she." Duo said calmly.
"What?!" Wufei finally managed to stutter after a moments shock. "How in the world. why." he trailed off, unable to finish a coherent thought.
"I can explain everything." Alex said franticly, searching each of the shocked faces in turn for some kind of sign that they'd give her a chance.
"I think you had better explain yourself _now_." Heero said as he leveled his gun at Alex. "Start by telling us your name. Your _real_ name." The voice that he'd come to associate as Alex's was much too masculine and void of emotion for the girl sitting before them.
"I told you my name was Alex, Heero." she said to them, her voice still bland and deeper than it should have been.
"That's a boy's name, not a girls!" Duo burst out.
"It is commonly associated as a boy's but it can also double as a girls. Alexander is the masculine version and Alexandra or Alexandria are the feminine versions, though I don't see what a name has anything to do with this. Its something other people give you, there's no sense worrying about it," she snapped at him. Duo faintly remembered when he'd said the exact same words to his friend Trowa.
"Knock it off with the fake voice Alex, we already know you're a girl." Heero snapped just as venomously.
"Huh, my voice? Oh." She reached behind her damp locks and unclasped a wire so thin it was almost invisible. On the wire dangled a nearly microscopic chip. A drop of blood formed at the hollow of her neck and Alex applied pressure there with the neckline of her shirt. "Happy now Heero?" she asked them. Much to their surprise, instead of her voice being sweet, it sounded old and rusty, cracking on every syllable. She smiled wryly at them. "Are you going to shoot me or not?"
"I don't have to. You are at my mercy."
"Stop it Heero." Quatre demanded, his voice carrying an edge as sharp as a knife. You will not lay a finger on that girl and if you kill her, I swear that I will kill you myself with my bare hands." Everyone in the group, including Alex, stared at him, mouths agape. Heero was so surprised that he momentarily loosened his hold on his gun.
Alex lunged and disarmed Heero in a single swift move, dropping and rolling behind him, and coming gracefully to her feet. She didn't bother to raise the gun, just held it out to Quatre. He took it and placed it in his back pocket after emptying the chamber and taking the clip out.
"Thank you Alex," he said calmly to her.
"How come you're being so calm about this Quatre? He, err, she lied to you, she got Cathy shot, and she--"
"She saved Hildie and Relena's life, she kept us all alive and on top of all this, I already knew she was a girl."
"What?!" she croaked since that was as close to a screech as she could manage.
"That memory, you looked in the mirror." Alex's eyes widened but she said nothing.
"Okay, I don't think I want to know. What in the world is that and what is up with your voice?"
"I'll explain it all to you in a moment. If you don't mind, I need to see Sally." She indicated the slight bleeding of her wound with a hand. All of them had the sense to know Sally would kill them all if they didn't allow the girl to see her.
"Fine." Was all Heero said before he stormed off down the hall to summon the resident doctor.
~*~
"Now, since I seem to be at your disposal, ask me any question you wish." Alex mentally cursed herself for being stupid enough not to lock the door to her room and for not taking the voice override device off every night like she'd thought she should have.
"Why the hell didn't you tell us you were a girl?" Heero snapped, peeved as ever at her.
"You never asked me so I wasn't inclined to tell you. Next question?"
"Why didn't you feel inclined to tell us?"
"It would have compromised my mission, I thought if I kept it from you I would be safer, and I had instructions that unless you asked, to tell you nothing more than what you absolutely needed to know."
"Why did you let Cathy get hit instead of anyone else, and where'd you get the gun?"
"It wouldn't have hit anyone if you hadn't insisted on playing hero you bastard! If you're implying that I chose for her to be the hit you're wrong! I didn't want anything to happen to any of you but I had to choice thanks to you!" she said, her voice choked with emotion and rising with every word until it was an unbearable screech. Everyone in the room, including herself, flinched.
"You're saying it's my fault?" Heero growled, his voice turning deadly.
"If I hadn't had to keep trying to go back and redo everything to keep YOU from dying Cathy wouldn't have a hole in her right now!" She shouted.
"Ouch, could you tone it down a bit Alex? Sheesh, has your voice always been like that?" Duo complained, trying to end the one on one interrogation between Heero and her. They were shooting questions back and forth so fast that no one else could get a word in edgewise.
"No, its only this way because of the device I had around my neck." She pulled her shirt collar down far enough that they could all see the four nearly microscopic puncture wounds on her neck. "It was a partial implant that made it possible for me to sound the way I did and take on the masculine role of Alex. Unfortunately, the side effect is that it warps your voice. In my case it is beyond recognition.
"If it ever goes back to normal I assume that at least one of you will be able to place me from a school you went to, or.. somewhere else. The bad thing is, at least for you, the affects may, or may not, be permanent. Had I worn in for another day, I know it would have been irreversible."
All of them stared at her for a moment before Trowa spoke up. "What are those white pills you have hidden somewhere?"
"What?!" she asked too quickly to be curious, confirming that she did indeed have them.
"I saw you taking one the morning you came, and this morning also. What are they?"
"I can't tell you," she said quietly, her dove gray eyes pleading with him to understand.
"Answer his question Alex. You're among friends, there's no reason you shouldn't trust us." Quatre said encouragingly, glad for once that the girls were all out of the house on another shopping spree with Zechs keeping watch over them.
Her face grew somber for a moment before she said something aloud that seemed to carry much heartache and anger, something that she never meant to say, something that made her sound like a frightened little girl for just a moment.
"Don't listen to any of them. All they will tell you is lies, all they will give you I deceit, all they will cultivate is doubt. None of them are worth talking with if it isn't vital. None of them are so important that they can't be taken out of the picture if the need arises. None of them can, or will, help you and none of them will offer you any shelter from what you are. You are a murderer Alex, don't forget it. That is the job you were born for and that is the job you will fulfil. None of them could ever understand you. They will only see you as an utter monstrosity. Hide what you are, right down to the fact that you are female."
A moment of silence followed and it was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. It left no doubt in anyone's minds who had trained her. As Quatre looked around the room it became evident that not even Heero was unaffected by what she'd said. In fact, much to anyone's surprise, he looked upon her with concern written all over his face.
"Why do you listen to what they said to you before you left?" Quatre asked softly.
"You know what happened Quatre. I'm a murderer of friends and enemies alike. My best friend will never be borne and my hands are so stained with blood that I'm afraid they will never be clean." She shuddered involuntarily.
"And ours are not? It doesn't matter what you did in your past, it matters what kind of future you make for yourself. As long as you live for the good of the world you will be able to live a normal life just like any of us." Trowa said quietly. "Drag yourself out of that self invoked pit of despair and get on with your life. You're here now and you're out of the Doctor's reaches. They can't control you any more."
"Trowa, you never murdered in cold blood just for the sake of revenge and you're wrong. They still control me even without being here. Do you think I'm the only one who can change the past? They can make it to where I was never borne, but that doesn't matter. I'm here and I've got a mission to finish so if you'll finish this interrogation?"
"It doesn't matter?" Wufei shouted. "What about us then?"
"They can just as easily go back, kill me, and train my older sister. It wouldn't mean more to them than swatting a fly."
"You speak of it so calmly," he said sarcastically.
Alex looked him in the eye and stated, "There hasn't been a single day that has gone by in the last four years of my life that I longed for death, slow or quick. The only reason I never killed myself is because I have a mission here to finish." She shrugged, "Maybe after this I will be able to embrace the sweet arms of the angel of death, but until then my duty is to protect you."
"What?!" Quatre shouted. "That's the only reason you didn't kill yourself? Did you ever think how your parents would feel?"
"Quatre, they're dead."
"What about your friends?"
"Also dead. Everyone around me dies Quatre."
"So why didn't you just kill yourself and save yourself the trouble of training?"
Alex looked at the floor and shrugged. For a moment she said nothing, but then a barely audible whisper was heard admitting, "I tried to once, but I couldn't. I didn't have the backbone to."
Quatre relaxed entirely and sat back in his chair. "Its not that you didn't have the backbone Alex, it's that you had too much. You knew you couldn't die because people needed you and because you weren't weak enough to choose the cowards way out of your duty. Hell, you couldn't choose the cowards way out of life." He emphasized his statement by cursing, which he VERY rarely did.
"You had a sister?" Trowa asked suddenly.
"Yes, I told you about her the night I came here to stay. She killed herself."
"Did you have any other siblings?"
"Yes." Alex said hesitantly, not sure in which direction the conversation had turned.
"Younger or older?"
"I don't know. I never met-"
"It was younger then." Trowa said, cutting him off. "Well, that definitely cuts down the number of people who could be your parents to three couples."
"What?!" Alex exclaimed, her voice returning a little bit back to normal, as she realized just how much information she had given them.
"That leaves it at just myself and whoever I marry, Quatre and his future bride, and you, Heero, and Relena."
"She is most assuredly not my daughter." Quatre said, holding up his hands.
"Quatre!" Alex cried as she realized how he'd betrayed her.
"You never swore me to secrecy Alex. You might as well tell us." Alex's face paled considerably, which he'd thought was nearly impossible since it was already a chalky white. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Heero pale also as it dawned on him what Trowa had said.
"How dare you!" She screamed at them as she ran from the room before any of them could stop her.
"I think that went well." Duo said sarcastically.
"Shove it, Duo." Heero snapped as he stalked off to some unknown location in the house. Duo followed his example. A moment later they heard a car start up and drive off.
"You two shouldn't have done that. That just proved to her what those loony scientists said about us." Wufei rebuked them sternly, his anger more than evident. "I don't care what kind of games you two are playing, but that kid is messed up really bad and you two aren't helping matters any. She's like a horse. If you're its friend it will be yours, but if you beat it, it will never trust you again. You two just blew it, maybe for all of us." With that, he too left the room.
"I'm beginning to think our plan wasn't such a good idea." Trowa said to Quatre, who just nodded.
~*~
Alex wasn't seen for two days after the incident with the men, but food was reported stolen from the kitchen every day. Quatre had ordered that the house be searched but it was a fairly large mansion and the chances of finding someone who really didn't want to be caught were slim to none. All of the men gave up looking after the initial sweep of the house, knowing that she'd come out of hiding when she was ready to.
~*~
Alex stole down the stairs with the stealth of a cat. She'd waited until past midnight to make her move to ensure that all but the most active of night owls would be in their beds and long past asleep. She stuck to the shadows just to be safe and quietly made her way to the mansions garage. There were a multitude of cars sitting there, waiting for her to choose one. Knowing that it would be the least visible Alex chose a pure black pickup truck.
She made sure to take extra care to obscure the numbers on the license plate with mud so the car wouldn't be traced back to Quatre. Then, trusting that her luck would hold, she opened the garage door and threw the car in reverse. When she was outside the garage she drove as quickly away from the mansion as possible.
***
Quatre was in the kitchen making a cup of tea. He hadn't slept much the past two nights since Alex had gone into hiding. Guilt ate away at him like a caterpillar at a leaf and it was absolutely maddening. He'd never been so helpless to do something about a mistake he'd made in his life.
He was just getting ready to head off to his room to see if he could go back to sleep when he heard the sound of one of the garage doors opening. "What in the world?" he said as he went over to a window and looked out so see his black pickup go shooting up the driveway and out onto the road. A cold chill swept over him as he realized who was driving it.
***
'Huh, I never thought I'd be doing this again. Wait a minute, I've never done this before. I've never even had a driving lesson!' Alex thought and felt fear rising like water from a spring in her chest. "Be rational now Alex. You have driven before, you've just never stolen a car. or have you. Oh great, I don't think this was such a good idea."
She knew she had to talk to herself of go completely crazy so she concentrated on saying the most obvious things she knew. It would at least keep her sane as she drove. "My name is Alex. I am twenty years old, no, I'm fifteen or. am I ten. No, I'm fifteen, I think. I have an older brother who's name is Daric, no, that's not right.. I had an older sister but she was killed. no, she killed herself. Oh damn it! Pull it together Alex! You know this crap! It's a stupid mental exercise that you've had to do a million times!" She sighed and tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "But I've never had a thousand lifetimes running around in my head before."
'I could just end it,' she thought suddenly. 'I could just drive the car off the road. Quatre would be upset that I messed up his car, but. But he'd be dead by morning you fool. Keep your mind on the mission. Besides, you don't have the guts to do it anyway. You're not a coward, so no taking the cowards way out.'
Alex fought with herself between trying to do her mental exercises as she drove along the nearly deserted road. It wasn't more than ten minutes later that she reached her rendezvous point. She pulled the car in, cut the lights, and killed the engine. If anyone drove by they'd think it was just some night worker pulled off on the side of the road to get some shut eye so they would kill themselves by running off a cliff.
A slight tap on the window made Alex look up and pale. Right outside her window stood David, Dr. J's apprentice.
"What are you doing here?" She hissed at him as he fished in the duffel bag he carried for something.
"You could be at least a little more grateful, you know," he snapped at her.
"I need Dr. J, not you David! I need to know that the situation hasn't deteriorated that badly!"
"Oh, its worse than you think!" he said cheerfully as he pulled out a bottle of white pills and handed them to her. "Professor G and Master O are dead. They were assassinated three days ago. Doctor S is in a coma and Dr. J is too scared to leave the lab. Don't know what happened to Instructor H. No one's seen or heard from him in a week so he's officially written off as MIA."
"Wonderful." A spasm of pain wracked her body and left her so weak she fell foreword onto the steering wheel. David cursed in twelve different languages and gently hauled her out of the car and lowered her carefully to the ground.
"Why didn't you tell me you were this far gone!?" he hissed at her. "At this rate you've. the mission."
"I knew the risks when I accepted the mission and I don't have a moments regret. Please though, I have to get back to the mansion before the car is missed." David moved to help her back up but she clutched at his arm. "Please, make the pain stop. I can't think straight. I've got a thousand different memories for a single action. Please, help me," she begged.
"You took your voice implant out." He said matter-of-factly as he noticed her severely mistreated voice.
"I had to. I had no choice."
"You've compromised the mission. I'm taking you back with me."
"No! Not when I'm so close. Just fix this problem and I'll go back and work everything out. I think they've only been killed in the future. I can keep them safe if I can find them. Help me."
David nodded curtly and went to retrieve something from the car he'd "borrowed."
~*~
The g-boys were all waiting outside when a black pickup came creeping sluggishly up the driveway. The engine died when it was less than seven feet from them and the door opened.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"What were you thinking?!"
"You could have gotten yourself killed!"
"You suicidal idiot!"
"I ought to shoot you myself!"
"How could you do something so stupid?!" all of them yelled at once. Alex ignored them and tried to exit the car. All she succeeded in doing was fall into a helpless heap on the gravel of the driveway. She tried to stand twice before she gave up and stayed down.
"Damn this weak body," she snarled as she slammed her fist against the ground. Her body chose that moment to rebel. She shuddered and wretched for a moment before finally loosing the fight, and the few contents of her stomach upon the ground. Finally sensing that she wasn't just acting to get out of trouble they all moved forward to help her.
"What have you done to yourself?" Quatre asked as he helped her to stand. He steadied her for a moment so she could get her balance. She took two steps towards the house and collapsed in an unconscious heap on the ground.
"Alex!" they all cried.
Amazingly enough it was Heero that bent down to pick her up and carry her into the house. "Quatre, get some extra blankets. Trowa, get a rag. I want it cold. Duo, get Sally. Wufei, please help me get her into bed. She's shivering but she's burning up with fever. Move!" he yelled when they all stayed rooted to the spot they stood, stunned.
They all did as they were told. Wufei helped Heero by opening doors for him until they reached Alex's room and the others went about their assigned tasks. "Wufei, I need you to help me undress her."
"Say what?!" Wufei balked.
"Her clothes are freezing Wufei, and they're damp. She's sick, she needs to get out of them or she'll only get worse."
"But."
"You can help me or not. Make a decision. It's only down to her undergarments. After that Sally is on her own." Wufei finally grudgingly helped him strip the girl down to her bandages and underwear before pulling the covers back so Heero could lay her down. Sally came in at the moment and shooed them both from the room.
~*~
"Geeze, you're all milling around out here like expectant fathers!" Sally joked as she stepped out into the hall. All heads snapped up to look at her. "Okay, lighten up a bit will ya'? She's fine, it's just a really bad case of the flue." A sigh of relief greeted her welcome advice and all of the young men visibly relaxed. One by one they all drifted off to complete the work they had waiting for them until only Heero remained.
He took a tentative step into the room and leaned back against the doorframe, watching the sleeping girl, wondering who she was. It was a puzzle he wanted to find out, but didn't know how to go about it. "I'll learn who you are Alex. That I promise you." He whispered as he exited the room and went back to his wife.
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Dream Keeper: Okay, it's not as long as I wanted it to be but I already have people throwing pointy objects at me so here it is. EEP! *ducks as a knife goes whizzing past her nose* HELP!
Christa: *also dodging projectiles* Don't look at me! Ak! Okay, okay! It's up already! Hope you liked it. Don't forget to R&R which means read AND REVIEW! Next chapter who knows when! Bye! AK!
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