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Dream Keeper: Well folks, standard yada. I do not own Gundam Wing. *Sniffs* I wish I did but I don't. The G-boys and girls belong to their respectable owners. I am just using them for this twisted fic. I promise to return them, only slightly worse for the wear when we're through with them.
Christa: Ak! Sorry AGAIN for being away for so long. We've been really loaded down with homework and this idiot has had be helping her with her music and her English work! *makes a face*
Dream Keeper: No one asked you to help, though I am grateful even if it is really easy junk. *sigh* Yeah! I'm the top student in my English class! And my math class! *does a dance around the room with Christa* Okay, this chapter may be a bit jerky because I'm out of practice.. So please forgive my muse and me.
Christa: And also, this chapter goes out to Ayako, Lady Star, mooncancer, and Firesong, or is it Raging Fire now? Can't keep track.... hmm.. gotta check that out.. If there are any other loyal reviewers we'll dedicate the next chapter to you also! *glomps all the reviewers* Okay, on with the fic!
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"I'll find out who you are, Alex. That I promise you," Alex heard someone say through the fog that had overtaken her awareness. She struggled to make some kind of cocky response, any response, but failed. Instead she fled back into the warm, safe darkness of dreamless sleep.
When she woke again she looked at the alarm clock. "Two thirty," she muttered as she tried to sit up but a wave of dizziness assaulted her and she fell back onto the bed.
"It's about time you woke up," a much too cheerful voice scolded her.
"Ugh, please tell me I'm dead. Oh, wait, I hurt too much to be dead." She opened her eyes and smiled feebly at Quatre, but his look was hard and cold. She sighed and started to explain, "I don't normally have suicidal tendencies. That was meant as a joke, Quatre. Lighten up."
"Not until I know you are in your right mind."
"I'm sorry I stole the car okay? I had to meet someone. It was a life or death situation for all of us."
"And just why was it so important?!" Sally snapped at her as she entered the room.
"God, I haven't even sat up and already I'm being scolded for being a bad little girl," she muttered loud enough for them to hear. She tried again to haul herself up to a sitting position and finally, grudgingly accepted assistance from both of the adults. "It was so important because I couldn't think straight. I couldn't figure out what was the current future, what was past, or anything. I didn't even know my own name, let alone my age. At one point I was convinced I was thirty! I had to get it sorted out, Sally, Quatre."
"And just what are these?" Quatre demanded, holding up the bottle of pills that she had received. She looked away and folded her arms across her chest.
"Why should I tell you anything? You already betrayed me once," she snapped. "I'm starting to think everything those freaked out doctors had to say was right. No one but you have changed from the people I know, or is it knew? I'm not sure anymore. Just go away and leave me alone." Alex rolled over to where her back was facing them. Eventually they gave up and left and only then did she let her silent tears fall. She knew she'd hurt them both deeply but it was for the good of the mission. Always for the mission.
A while later she heard the soft footfalls of a child entering her room. Turning over to face her visitor made relaxed muscles protest but she ignored them. "Hello Kira! How are you today?" Alex asked cheerily.
"I'm fine," the four-year-old told her. "Daddy said you were sick so I brought you this." The little girl handed her a small yellow rose. Alex smiled broadly as she took it from her.
"Thank you Kira. That's the nicest gift anyone has given me in a long time. I really appreciate it."
"It's my birthday today!" the little girl squealed gleefully, unable to keep it a secret any longer. Alex's eyes widened a little but her smile didn't waver.
"You'll be five today then?" At Kira's nod she said, "Well, if you give me that bag I'll give you a present." She watched as Kira drug her sports bag over and when she had it in her hands she unzipped long, shallow inside pouch.
It looked like a normal compartment for pencils and pens, but upon closer inspection one would have found that a piece of Velcro held the bottom down. Alex lifted this and a dark space was revealed. She stuck her hand into it, sinking her arm in up to her elbow, then rummaged around blindly for a long moment before coming up with a medium sized, very lumpy package.
"Here you go," she said to the waiting child as she handed it to her. Kira squealed with joy, thanked her, and unwrapped it. Alex smiled happily after her as she bounded off to show her gift to her mother.
***
"Mommy! Mommy! Look what Alex gave me!" Kira squealed as she ran to her mother. "Alex knew it was going to be my biwthday and she gave me a pwesent!" Relena smiled as her daughter ran up but noted that she sill couldn't make an "R" sound.
"What did Alex give you?" she asked as she knelt down to be at eye level with her daughter. Kira proudly held up her prize. Relena looked at it joyfully for a moment before her face paled. She stood up, ran to the door, and shouted, "Heero!"
***
"So what are we going to do about your daughter?" Heero asked Trowa as they sat in the library.
Trowa sighed and started to correct him, "We don't know for sure-,"
Heero cut him off. "Yes we do know for sure. She has your social skills, your acrobatic skills, your skill with kids, your affect on most adults. Come on Trowa, what more proof do you need?"
"Heero, that doesn't necessarily prove anything," he corrected him. Not that he was against the idea that Alex was his daughter, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions, even if all of the facts pointed to that.
"Trowa, if you do need any more proof she not only has your hair, but your eyes too."
"Contacts."
"She'd just gotten out of the shower. She didn't have time to put contacts in before Duo found her, and she had to have taken them out because the steam would have ruined them." Trowa held up his hands in defeat.
"Fine, I'll concede. As to what to do with her? Isn't it obvious? We'll have to find a way to reverse all the damage those damned doctors did to her and then give her the proper care she needs. I can't ignore her like an illegitimate child. If she's my daughter I have to try to provide her with a home and a family, and pray that if I ever do want to get married that it doesn't drive away the person I want to--,"
"Heero!" Relena screamed down the hall. Both men were up and running down the hall before the sound had died away. Heero had his weapon drawn by the time they got there to find-absolutely nothing amiss.
"What is going on Relena?" Heero demanded angrily. "Why are you screaming like the devil is after you?" Relena couldn't speak, she just pointed to the present Kira was holding. Kira, by this time, was wide-eyed and frightened. Heero immediately holstered the gun. "I don't see anything wrong. Kira's just playing with a-," he stopped short, realizing why Relena was screaming.
***
Alex was just getting a shirt out of her bag to change into when Heero burst into her room yelling incoherently. He ranted for a long time before realizing that she was standing there almost completely naked.
"Haven't you ever heard of modesty?" he yelled as he turned a bright red.
"Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" she shot back tartly, folding her arms angrily in front of her. "Besides, I don't know what modesty is. When you live with five perverted doctors, one curious sixteen-year-old boy, and your father, with only a curtain to offer any privacy you learn to forget the meaning of the word. Especially when the blanket is moth eaten. Now, are you going to stand there or are you going to allow me to dress in peace?"
Heero had already turned his back on her, but at this he walked out of the room. She opened the door several minutes later for him. "Now just what do you want?" she snapped.
"Where did you get this?" Heero demanded, holding up the teddy bear that Alex had given Kira.
"If you must know I got it from Uncle Quatre. It is mine to give to whomever I choose. I did not steal it if that is what you are implying."
"Do you know who this belonged to?"
"Uncle Quatre got it from someone in his family and he gave it to me. That's all I know about it, why?"
"Did you ever see it before Quatre gave it to you?"
"I think a few times but I only vaguely remember it. Why does it matter? I gave it to Kira, it's not something that matters to me. Why are you asking me these questions?" Alex didn't know where Heero was going with the conversation and she didn't want to. Something tugged at the back of her mind but whenever she tried to capture it, the thought fled from her.
"You really didn't know, did you?" Heero's anger ebbed some and his voice lost some of its steely edge.
"Know what?" she asked shakily. Trowa entered the room, Relena right behind him.
"The bear belonged to me," Relena said. Alex shrugged noncommittally.
"So? Why should I care? It's not important."
"Alex, I'm going to ask you a question and I want the truth," Trowa said firmly. "Are Heero and Relena your parents?"
"No."
"That's the first time you've answered a direct question like that. You wouldn't tell us before even if we asked. They are your parents, aren't they?"
"No," she said again, but a little desperation crept into her voice.
"Would you be willing to test that against a DNA test?"
"NO!"
"Why do you deny it Kira?" Relena asked.
"I'm not Kira! My name is Alex!"
"That's only a name you hide behind, just like Heero isn't my real name. My only excuse is I don't know mine. You don't have one," Heero told her calmly, attacking her with calm logic.
"I'm not Kira! Don't you see that? Kira is sweet and lovable and kind! There is no way a monster like me could ever have been something as gentle as her!" she shouted at them, desperation making her voice shrill even as she fought to control it.
"People can change over time. All I ever knew was the battlefield, but now I'm a circus clown. It doesn't take much for a person to change. One who has seen too much always becomes older than they should be. Why don't you just admit it Kira?" Trowa stepped forward to put a hand on her shoulder but she jerked violently away.
"I'm not Kira! My name isn't Kira! My name is Alex! I could never be Kira! Trowa is my father! Heero has never been my father!" she shouted at them. By this time most of the others were gathered in the hall, staying out of sight, but listening intently.
"Are you saying Trowa was the one who helped give you life, or the one that took care of you? Alex, we need to know, am I your father?"
"You're not my father!" she screamed at him as she sank to the floor sobbing. "You're not my father." She sobbed. It was all anyone needed to dispel the remaining doubt in their minds. Everyone out in the hall sensed that they shouldn't be there then and left. Relena was in tears also and Heero was at a loss for anything to do. He'd had everything planned until the moment he had the truth from her.
Trowa came up to him and whispered, "The healing should start as soon as possible," before guiding Relena gently out of the room. Heero had never been a very paternal person to anyone but his own children before so he balked for a moment before he remembered that she was his daughter.
Slowly he moved toward her, knelt down before her, and put his arms around her. She struggled to get away from him but he was too strong for her to break his hold, so she gave up. Instead she lay her head on his shoulder and cried. Heero held her patiently, soothing her much as she had done for Kira, her younger self, Heero reminded himself. Finally her tears were gone and her sobs subsided.
"Done?" Heero asked calmly as he waited for her to collect herself.
He felt her tense and she suddenly pushed him violently away before struggling to her feet. "How dare you!" she hissed at him. "How dare you do something so stupid! I told you I didn't want anyone to know who I am! I told you! You know I can't have any attachments! I should have let you die when I still had the chance!"
"You'd wish death upon your own father?"
"Do not ever call yourself that Heero! You are not my father. You may be a father to Kira but you were never mine. I told the truth when I said that Trowa was my father. He's the one who took care of me after Relena died! You were too wrapped up in. never mind. I don't want to fight with you. What is done is done."
"You could always just go back in time," Heero suggested, wanting to know what she would say.
"No I couldn't. Then the risk would double of whoever is in the timestream finding out who I am. I can't risk it."
"Why didn't you let me die Alex? You said yourself that I am expendable," he probed.
"Of course you're expendable. Every one of you is. I couldn't let you die though. Relena would have been rather upset and I didn't want to deal with a mourning widow, not to mention everyone else. Relena would just be the worst," she replied angrily, but knew that she'd made a mistake when Heero's face hardened and rage burned in his eyes.
"So you're saying that I mean less to you than dirt? And you can't even bring yourself to call Relena mother?" he asked dangerously.
"Yes. That's exactly what I am saying. You are not my parents. My parents are both dead and in the graveyard. You could never replace Trowa or-or his wife. All you ever were to me was a fall-down-drunk! Now are you happy? Get out of my room!"
"How did I get that way Alex? Tell me that? Was it because I had to put up with you?" he sneered, looking for any way to hurt her as much as she was him.
"You really want to know, Heero?" she asked, "You turned down that path when Relena died!"
"How did she die, Kira?"
"Don't! Don't call me that!"
"That's your name isn't it?"
"No! The Kira you knew is dead, gone, buried, and that is where she should, and will remain for the rest of eternity! Make someone besides me into your puppet! Try little Kira! She seems to love you so much, the naive little child she is! She doesn't know that the moment life gets a little bit rough you'll dump her on someone else like a sack of rocks! And she's too young to understand that you don't care anymore! She'll just keep thinking your coming back until dooms day!"
"Is that really what you thought? Why did it affect me so much Kira? What was so horrible about Relena's death that sent me over the edge?" he asked desperately, wanting to know any way to avoid the fate she foretold for him.
"You're really want to know! Ha! Fool! You're the cause of her death! You killed her! You're the reason she's dead! You thought you would protect her by pushing her behind you! You stupid fool! You don't even know anymore how to tell just who they shoot at! You pushed her behind you and she took the bullet that was meant for you! It should have been you that died, and you couldn't handle that! It drove you mad! Madder than the mad hatter!
"But no one had the heart to put you in an institution so we're the one's who had to suffer. Are you happy now Heero? Do you know anymore than you did? Does it make you feel good to know how you made everyone suffer? It certainly doesn't make me feel good! Get out! Get out!" she yelled, picking up the lamp at the side of her bed and throwing it at him. It hit him in the head and he stumbled out the door, holding a hand to his bleeding scalp. Only then did she realize just how far she'd gone. When Sally was done bandaging Heero up she came in to check on her, but she wasn't there.
~*~
"I thought I'd find you out here." Alex spun around on her tree limb to see Zechs standing below her.
"So you found me," she said flatly. "Are you going to try to weasel something out of me too?"
"I'm surprised you have to ask. I don't want anything from you. I just came to make sure you were all right. You gave Heero a pretty nasty bump on the head," he told her as he climbed up the tree and took a seat on the branch. He sat just close enough to be there, but not close enough to invade her space.
"I guess I got really carried away."
"I think you did too. You've really got him angry with you. You also really hurt Relena." He picked a leaf off the tree and started shredding it thoughtfully.
"It's for the good of the mission," she stated firmly.
"For the good of the mission, or because you're afraid to care about them? If I got a second chance at having my parents I would jump at it, but I never will. Both of our parents were ripped cruelly away from us when we were both very young."
"Yes," she agreed dully.
"Are you really so angry with Heero that you can't forgive him? He's a different person from whoever you knew."
"How would you know?" she snapped.
"The Heero I know loves his children more dearly than life itself. The Heero I know never touches alcohol. The Heero I know would never give his problems to others, in fact, if he can help it, he takes theirs from them," he told her. The leaf he had been shredding was now totally in pieces, so he let them sit on his open palm to be carried away by the wind.
"He's never acted any differently towards me than he ever has, and until he proves me wrong, I will never trust him."
"A wound that is not treated carefully will never fully heal. You should try to see if this one can be mended," he advised her.
"It takes an effort on both sides for such a bridge to be crossed," she retorted.
"He has made an effort. You pushed his kindness away."
"It wasn't kindness, he was obligated to do so. Uncle Trowa would have hurt him if he hadn't. It's not like I didn't hear what he said. I may have been crying like a baby but that didn't mean I was deaf."
"Be that as it may, you still should see if you two can patch things up."
Alex sighed and shrugged. "I'll try not to make him any angrier with me, but I can't promise I'll go out of my way to be nice to him. I will try though."
"That's my girl," Zechs said as he gave her a one armed hug. He noted that she didn't tense when he did. He climbed down out of the tree and started back through the gardens but a question stopped him.
"Uncle Zechs, how did you know you could get me to promise?"
Zechs smiled at her and said, "I've been thinking a lot about why you would have been so disappointed in my answer to why I protected you from your father." She winced and he sighed. "I'm sorry, Kira, but that is what you are. There's no way around it. Some things you just have to accept."
"Like the sun rising in the east?"
"Yes. Exactly like that."
~*~
Alex was reading in the library when Heero came into the room. She looked up long enough to mark who it was that entered before going back to her book. Trowa and Wufei also looked up, but they said nothing.
"Hello," he said to them as he entered. Trowa and Wufei murmured a greeting but Alex stayed silent.
"Kira-,"
"Don't call me that. That isn't my name. If you keep that up you could jeopardize my mission."
"Damn the mission for three seconds! They don't mean anything here. When are you going to understand that?" he snapped.
"I can see there is no use trying to talk to you with the pet your in," she said coolly as she snapped her book shut and stood up."
"Why are you still wearing those contacts? We already know who you are," Heero asked just as coldly.
"I'm blind without them and I don't have any clear ones."
"We can get you some. I'd like you to get rid of those."
She whirled to face him. "For one, don't presume to tell me what to do, for two, I just told you that I can't see without them. I mean that."
"And I just said that we could-,"
"Get me new ones," she finished for him. "I guess I'll have to show you. Uncle Quatre, will you please hold these for me?" she asked as she walked over towards him and started to take her contacts out. When she turned around she looked at him with unfocused blue eyes. "Are you happy now Heero?"
Silently Heero moved a chair from where it had been and just as silently set it down. "Walk over to me," he commanded. Alex started forward shakily, one hand out in front of her. Wufei moved to stop her but Heero shook his head. Quatre just glared at him. All the while Heero watched her eyes. They didn't move, didn't focus when the light brightened or dimmed as she walked past the windows, and she didn't blink.
Just as she reached the chair Heero stepped forward. She fell over it and right into his waiting arms. That was all he needed to convince him. "Why didn't you tell us you were blind?"
"I did, you just didn't listen. Now if you will kindly put me on my feet and direct me back over to Quatre without putting any more furniture in my way I would appreciate it." Heero stood her back up and guided her back over to Quatre. "Thank you. Now, is there a mirror?"
"Why would you need a mirror when you're blind? And how do those help you see?" Wufei inquired curiously.
"They're connected to a chip in my head," Alex explained wearily. "The image of wherever the contacts are pointed are sent to the chip and it gets picked apart. Then it tells me if what is going on around me, like if there is a piece of furniture in my way," with this she looked towards about where Heero was and frowned. "The only bad thing is, is that I still can't see. All I get are outlines and places to move. I never get to see color, or see sparkles on things or anything. I see the bare minimum, but things are processed faster so I'm able to do things quicker than other people."
"Oh," was all Heero could say. He silently led her to a mirror and she put her contacts back in.
"Now, is there something particular you wanted, Heero?"
"No, not really, K-Alex." He noted that she smiled slightly at him.
"Then I'll go to my room and leave you to talk." She inclined her head to them and started to leave.
"Alex, Relena wanted to see you for a moment," Heero called after her as she left the room.
"Thank you."
~*~
"You wanted to see me Relena?" Alex asked, as she walked into the office Relena was using for the duration of her stay while her house was being redone.
"Yes, come in, come in." Alex did so and closed the door when Relena motioned her to. "I'm glad we know who you are now," she faltered, not knowing exactly where to begin.
"Relena, please forget you ever heard any of that. I don't want to hurt you but I can't risk making any attachments. I thought I'd explained that clearly enough, but obviously I didn't," she replied, trying to remain distant.
"You couldn't even call my mom just once?" Relena asked, almost pleading.
"It would be a lie. I never knew you Relena. You're a nice woman, but I don't remember you. All I remember. doesn't matter. I couldn't lie to you like that. Besides, if I called you that I might be tempted to again, and that could get Kira or Daja hurt. I couldn't risk that. They're much too precious to risk."
"Oh." Tears glistened on her lashes. "Well, I got this for you anyway," she said as she slid a small package across her desk.
"Relena, you didn't have to."
"No, I wanted to. It's the least I could do to say thank you." She managed a small smile. "Go on, open it." Alex didn't wait to be told again. She tore open the wrapping paper with trembling fingers and opened the small box that it had adorned. She let out a squeal of joy as into her hand tumbled the beautiful necklace she had looked at when they were shopping.
It was a beautiful thin chain made of white gold, with a small sapphire on the teardrop shaped pendant. A matching ring was also contained in the box.
"Relena, I can't except this. It must have cost a fortune and. well I can't ever wear it," Alex stuttered.
"Actually you will have something to wear it with soon. There is a formal engagement going on in three days that I want to take you to. It's only another stuffy old dinner party with a bunch of politicians, but I'm quite sure you would have fun. Everyone is going, well, not the children of course, but still. I thought you might like to go." Her eyes sparkled and Alex couldn't do anything but say yes.
"Then lets go downtown. I don't want to stay around this house another minute." Alex hesitated a moment. "Oh Alex, if something happens I have a cell phone. You worry too much."
"And you don't worry enough," Alex muttered under her breath as she followed Relena out the door.
~*~
"Man where the heck are the girls?" Duo muttered as he checked his watch for the tenth time.
"Maxwell, its exactly a minute after the last time you checked," Wufei ribbed. "The girls will get done when they get done."
"I bet I know what's taking so long."
"Well spit it out Quatre!" Duo pleaded.
"I heard Relena telling the other girls that, well, Alex hasn't ever worn a dress before and she doesn't know how to use makeup." Most of the men's jaws fell to the floor.
"You've got to be joking!" Zechs said. "She's actually letting them use her as a living Barbie doll?" he shuddered at even the thought.
"Oh god, we're doomed."
"Shut up, Maxwell," Wufei said, punching Duo in the arm.
"Hey man, watch the suit."
"Finally," they heard Trowa say and they all looked up to the second story. Four beautiful women had begun descending the stairs. Relena wore a lovely gown of white with her hair drawn up into a bun. Hildie wore silver with white trim around the hem of the dress. Noin had opted to go with a black gown, but whatever it lacked in color, it made up for on provocation. It was daringly low cut and had a slit in the side up to her thigh. Sally followed behind them wearing a light blue kimono with silver trim.
"Where's Alex?" Heero asked when Relena reached him.
"Oh, she's coming. She's just a little nervous."
"Nervous?" he asked dubiously.
"You'll see," she replied mischievously.
A moment later Alex appeared. She was wearing a floor length dress of midnight blue that showed off her hourglass figure. It was held to her shoulders with spaghetti straps, and it was somewhat low cut. The edges of the dress were trimmed with an intricate design on black, hardly noticeable, but adding character just the same. Her hair was left down but a small part was braided on the sides, then drawn back to wrap around a small piece of hair in a V shape. All this was topped off by a little bit of lip gloss and her jewelry.
Whey the guys saw her, their mouths hit the floor for a second time. In place of the self assured tomboy that they had known, and accepted, there stood a nervous girl just accepting that she was a woman. She descended the stairs and came to stand before Heero.
"Well?" she asked self-consciously.
"You look lovely," he said. Then he offered her and Relena an arm to walk them to the door. Alex looked back over her shoulder at Zechs who gave her an encouraging smile.
~*~
After being at the party for an hour Alex vowed never to come to another one again. Her feet hurt from where her shoes rubbed her differently from her usual ones and her back was killing her from having to stand so straight. She'd tried her hand at dancing but she had given up after the first attempt. It if hadn't been obvious before that she had two left feet it was now. She'd tried to make conversation with the other girls but all they wanted to talk about were guys and clothes. They wouldn't even talk about music. The guys wouldn't even let her into their group to talk with them because they considered themselves above her.
She sighed as she got a glass of punch and sat down at a vacant table to stare out the window. She didn't know where any of her relatives had gone, seeing as they had scattered the moment they walked in the door, leaving her to do as she willed. "Maybe I should have stayed with Uncle Zechs."
It had started to snow outside and the way the snowflakes fell hypnotized her. It was like flying through outer space but without the danger. It was so beautiful that she became lost in their motions and spun around in surprise when someone said, "Is there something really interesting out there?"
Alex found herself looking into the eyes of a tall boy about 5'8" with beautiful silver eyes and black hair. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew I was behind you."
"No, I was just lost in thought. I didn't hear you." She blushed at her own foolishness.
"What were you thinking so hard about?" he asked as he seated himself after her nodding her approval.
"I'm not sure. I was watching the snowflakes and my mind wandered off on its own. No telling where it was." 'Oh god, I sound like an idiot!,' she thought.
"Do you not get snow a lot where you come from?" he asked, ignoring how what she'd said could be interpreted.
"No, at least not this nice."
"Really? We get it a lot. It's really a bother sometimes. It's hard to drive through and it's cold!"
"I always enjoyed it. I love making snow forts or having snowball fights. Oh, where are my manners. My name is Alex."
"Is there a last name to go with that?"
"No," she replied a touch uncomfortably.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry. I'm Jamal Swift."
"Swift?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah, my dad own a big steal company. There's a big old fuss over a merger so I ended up here with him tonight." He wrinkled his nose to show his distaste.
"So why aren't you talking with the boys?"
"I could ask you why you aren't with all the girls."
"Pardon me for saying, but they're all airheads. If those are suppose to be our leaders I think I'll get off at the next stop around the sun."
He laughed and she felt heat rising in her cheeks. "I could say the same about the guys. All they want to discuss is the latest additions to their favorite sports teams and who is going to win the "ESUN's strongest man" this year. Its disgusting how narrow-minded they can be."
"So why'd you want to talk to me? Aren't you afraid I'll be just like them?" she joked.
He shuddered. "Perish the thought. Besides, why would you be sitting over here all alone if you were like the normal politician. Why aren't you with the others discussing what you're going to be doing next week about that big narcotics case?"
"Narcotics case? What?"
"You are a politician, aren't you?"
"Aya, how old do I look?" she asked, wondering if she looked as old as he made her sound.
"About twenty two, why?"
She laughed and he raised an eyebrow. "No, no, no, no, no. I'm only sixteen. I couldn't be a politician even if I wanted to!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I didn't mean to insult you."
"Don't worry about it. Besides, I should take it as a compliment. You're the first person here who hasn't treated me as a child," she said as she began to doodle on a piece of paper.
"Really?"
"Yeah." He looked slightly distracted and she turned to see what he was looking at. "Is something wrong?" she asked when she could see nothing amiss.
"Yeah, I guess. It's just that this creepy guy keeps looking over here. That one there. The one with the weird hair."
"Trowa?" she asked in surprise. She'd never heard him described as creepy before, but then she'd never been on the receiving end of one of his looks without knowing him.
"That's his name? Well whoever he is, he looks like he's plotting my death," he joked.
"Trowa's harmless. I guess he could be creepy if you don't know him, but unless you really do something to make him mad you've got nothing to worry about. He's just checking on me. Thanks for pointing him out thought. I couldn't find him earlier when I was looking for him. Too many people here tonight."
"You know him?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Just wondering," Jamal assured her.
"Will you excuse me a moment?"
"By all means."
"I'll be right back then," she said as she stood and headed in the direction of the bathrooms. She bumped into Quatre on the way out. "Quatre, are you leaving?"
"Yes, I've just got a call from Rachide. He says I need to come home immediately; something about a servant. He wouldn't give me any specifics."
"Okay then, take care. I'll see you tonight." She held up her hand and Quatre grasped it, and kissed it before turning and striding out the doors. Alex waited long enough to see that he got to the car safely before going to the bathroom. She returned to the table a few minutes later.
"You know Quatre Winner?"
"Vaguely," she said guardedly.
"I was just wondering." He put his hands up in mock defeat. They passed the next hour or so talking about whatever came to mind. Just as they were running out of things to talk about Trowa came up and laid his hand on her shoulder.
"It's about time we get going, Alex," he said.
She nodded. "Thank you for a wonderful evening Jamal. I hope I'll be able to see you again some time."
"And I you, fairy lady," he said as he kissed her hand in a parting gesture. She smiled at him and then followed Trowa towards the door. The others were already waiting for her and they all wore anxious looks on their faces. No one spoke on the drive to the mansion but Alex didn't want to talk to anyone. Her stomach was killing her.
"Oh no!" Noin whispered as they rounded a bend in the road and small portion of the mansion came into view, or, more precisely, a section of the mansion that was missing. Instead of seeing part of the roof, they saw only a section of flame that was eating at the wood.
~*~
"It appears that a bomb went off," Rachide said brokenly as he looked at the blackened wood of the once beautiful mansion. I'm just glad that everyone but me was gone tonight. Master Quatre gave us the night off." He was reduced to tears again; all of the adults were. None of them wanted to accept that Quatre was gone; killed by a bomb planted in his house.
Alex was picking her way through the rubble; her dress hiked up to a very indecent level to keep it from getting soiled with soot. Her shoes were already past hope as she stepped on still live coals and broken fragments of things that had once been walls or furniture.
"Why Quatre? Why didn't you save him Alex?" Duo demanded from behind her. She turned and looked at him with a cold, distant expression.
"Why?"
"Why didn't you save him? You had to have known it was going to happen!" he shouted at her.
"Yes, I did." She started picking her way out of the rubble, stopping only long enough to retrieve a VERY battered sports bag. It had scorch marks on it, along with bullet holes, but a ceiling had fallen in on it, saving it from the worst of the fire.
"Then why didn't you do anything about it?!" Wufei demanded.
"I told you when I arrived that I would sacrifice any one of you if it was for the good of the future."
"After all he did for you? After all the kindness he gave you, you let him die?!" Heero demanded.
She stopped before him. "I told you I would, Heero. I meant it then, and I do not regret my decision."
"How could you?!" Noin shrieked at the same time as Hildie.
"You ungrateful cur!" Sally shouted at her. "No, even that word isn't horrid enough to describe you!" Relena tried to say something hateful to her but she couldn't get her voice to work. Instead she slapped her. Alex's head snapped sideways but she said nothing.
"You were right about more than one thing, Alex. You aren't Kira and you aren't our daughter. Our daughter could never be such a monster. That's all you could ever be," Heero growled before he spat on the ground before her.
"Get out of here Alex," Zechs said finally. If this is the kind of protection you offer, we don't need you."
*"Watashiwa shinimegami," she replied steadily, and as the others looked to Heero for a translation she said, "Since you wish me out of your lives, so be it. But remember, if ever you need help, you have only to ask for it."
~*~
As Trowa parked his car in front of his trailer he noticed that one of the lights was on inside. "That's funny. I thought I turned all the lights out," he said to himself as he got out of the car and walked to the door. Out of habit he turned the knob before he inserted his key and, to his surprise, found it unlocked. Immediately he reached for the gun he always carried with him. He yanked the door open and jumped inside the trailer. "Freeze!" he shouted, but it was he who froze instead.
"Quatre?"
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Dream Keeper: Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you like it!
Christa: Yeah! We're almost done! Only another chapter or two at most to go! YEAH! No more sharp, pointy objects to be chucked at me! Yeah!
Dream Keeper: Okay, calm down. Okay, well, time for all good little muses and such to be in bed, so that's where we're headed. Can't wait until this is finished!
Christa: Please don't forget to R&R which means read AND REVIEW!!!!! That is all. Bye! We'll have another chapter up sometime before 2003!
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*Watashiwa-I am * Shinimegami: Shi-death, ni-of/ is/ be/ etc., megami-goddess === Goddess of death. Cool huh? No word for THE though.
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Dream Keeper: Well folks, standard yada. I do not own Gundam Wing. *Sniffs* I wish I did but I don't. The G-boys and girls belong to their respectable owners. I am just using them for this twisted fic. I promise to return them, only slightly worse for the wear when we're through with them.
Christa: Ak! Sorry AGAIN for being away for so long. We've been really loaded down with homework and this idiot has had be helping her with her music and her English work! *makes a face*
Dream Keeper: No one asked you to help, though I am grateful even if it is really easy junk. *sigh* Yeah! I'm the top student in my English class! And my math class! *does a dance around the room with Christa* Okay, this chapter may be a bit jerky because I'm out of practice.. So please forgive my muse and me.
Christa: And also, this chapter goes out to Ayako, Lady Star, mooncancer, and Firesong, or is it Raging Fire now? Can't keep track.... hmm.. gotta check that out.. If there are any other loyal reviewers we'll dedicate the next chapter to you also! *glomps all the reviewers* Okay, on with the fic!
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"I'll find out who you are, Alex. That I promise you," Alex heard someone say through the fog that had overtaken her awareness. She struggled to make some kind of cocky response, any response, but failed. Instead she fled back into the warm, safe darkness of dreamless sleep.
When she woke again she looked at the alarm clock. "Two thirty," she muttered as she tried to sit up but a wave of dizziness assaulted her and she fell back onto the bed.
"It's about time you woke up," a much too cheerful voice scolded her.
"Ugh, please tell me I'm dead. Oh, wait, I hurt too much to be dead." She opened her eyes and smiled feebly at Quatre, but his look was hard and cold. She sighed and started to explain, "I don't normally have suicidal tendencies. That was meant as a joke, Quatre. Lighten up."
"Not until I know you are in your right mind."
"I'm sorry I stole the car okay? I had to meet someone. It was a life or death situation for all of us."
"And just why was it so important?!" Sally snapped at her as she entered the room.
"God, I haven't even sat up and already I'm being scolded for being a bad little girl," she muttered loud enough for them to hear. She tried again to haul herself up to a sitting position and finally, grudgingly accepted assistance from both of the adults. "It was so important because I couldn't think straight. I couldn't figure out what was the current future, what was past, or anything. I didn't even know my own name, let alone my age. At one point I was convinced I was thirty! I had to get it sorted out, Sally, Quatre."
"And just what are these?" Quatre demanded, holding up the bottle of pills that she had received. She looked away and folded her arms across her chest.
"Why should I tell you anything? You already betrayed me once," she snapped. "I'm starting to think everything those freaked out doctors had to say was right. No one but you have changed from the people I know, or is it knew? I'm not sure anymore. Just go away and leave me alone." Alex rolled over to where her back was facing them. Eventually they gave up and left and only then did she let her silent tears fall. She knew she'd hurt them both deeply but it was for the good of the mission. Always for the mission.
A while later she heard the soft footfalls of a child entering her room. Turning over to face her visitor made relaxed muscles protest but she ignored them. "Hello Kira! How are you today?" Alex asked cheerily.
"I'm fine," the four-year-old told her. "Daddy said you were sick so I brought you this." The little girl handed her a small yellow rose. Alex smiled broadly as she took it from her.
"Thank you Kira. That's the nicest gift anyone has given me in a long time. I really appreciate it."
"It's my birthday today!" the little girl squealed gleefully, unable to keep it a secret any longer. Alex's eyes widened a little but her smile didn't waver.
"You'll be five today then?" At Kira's nod she said, "Well, if you give me that bag I'll give you a present." She watched as Kira drug her sports bag over and when she had it in her hands she unzipped long, shallow inside pouch.
It looked like a normal compartment for pencils and pens, but upon closer inspection one would have found that a piece of Velcro held the bottom down. Alex lifted this and a dark space was revealed. She stuck her hand into it, sinking her arm in up to her elbow, then rummaged around blindly for a long moment before coming up with a medium sized, very lumpy package.
"Here you go," she said to the waiting child as she handed it to her. Kira squealed with joy, thanked her, and unwrapped it. Alex smiled happily after her as she bounded off to show her gift to her mother.
***
"Mommy! Mommy! Look what Alex gave me!" Kira squealed as she ran to her mother. "Alex knew it was going to be my biwthday and she gave me a pwesent!" Relena smiled as her daughter ran up but noted that she sill couldn't make an "R" sound.
"What did Alex give you?" she asked as she knelt down to be at eye level with her daughter. Kira proudly held up her prize. Relena looked at it joyfully for a moment before her face paled. She stood up, ran to the door, and shouted, "Heero!"
***
"So what are we going to do about your daughter?" Heero asked Trowa as they sat in the library.
Trowa sighed and started to correct him, "We don't know for sure-,"
Heero cut him off. "Yes we do know for sure. She has your social skills, your acrobatic skills, your skill with kids, your affect on most adults. Come on Trowa, what more proof do you need?"
"Heero, that doesn't necessarily prove anything," he corrected him. Not that he was against the idea that Alex was his daughter, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions, even if all of the facts pointed to that.
"Trowa, if you do need any more proof she not only has your hair, but your eyes too."
"Contacts."
"She'd just gotten out of the shower. She didn't have time to put contacts in before Duo found her, and she had to have taken them out because the steam would have ruined them." Trowa held up his hands in defeat.
"Fine, I'll concede. As to what to do with her? Isn't it obvious? We'll have to find a way to reverse all the damage those damned doctors did to her and then give her the proper care she needs. I can't ignore her like an illegitimate child. If she's my daughter I have to try to provide her with a home and a family, and pray that if I ever do want to get married that it doesn't drive away the person I want to--,"
"Heero!" Relena screamed down the hall. Both men were up and running down the hall before the sound had died away. Heero had his weapon drawn by the time they got there to find-absolutely nothing amiss.
"What is going on Relena?" Heero demanded angrily. "Why are you screaming like the devil is after you?" Relena couldn't speak, she just pointed to the present Kira was holding. Kira, by this time, was wide-eyed and frightened. Heero immediately holstered the gun. "I don't see anything wrong. Kira's just playing with a-," he stopped short, realizing why Relena was screaming.
***
Alex was just getting a shirt out of her bag to change into when Heero burst into her room yelling incoherently. He ranted for a long time before realizing that she was standing there almost completely naked.
"Haven't you ever heard of modesty?" he yelled as he turned a bright red.
"Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" she shot back tartly, folding her arms angrily in front of her. "Besides, I don't know what modesty is. When you live with five perverted doctors, one curious sixteen-year-old boy, and your father, with only a curtain to offer any privacy you learn to forget the meaning of the word. Especially when the blanket is moth eaten. Now, are you going to stand there or are you going to allow me to dress in peace?"
Heero had already turned his back on her, but at this he walked out of the room. She opened the door several minutes later for him. "Now just what do you want?" she snapped.
"Where did you get this?" Heero demanded, holding up the teddy bear that Alex had given Kira.
"If you must know I got it from Uncle Quatre. It is mine to give to whomever I choose. I did not steal it if that is what you are implying."
"Do you know who this belonged to?"
"Uncle Quatre got it from someone in his family and he gave it to me. That's all I know about it, why?"
"Did you ever see it before Quatre gave it to you?"
"I think a few times but I only vaguely remember it. Why does it matter? I gave it to Kira, it's not something that matters to me. Why are you asking me these questions?" Alex didn't know where Heero was going with the conversation and she didn't want to. Something tugged at the back of her mind but whenever she tried to capture it, the thought fled from her.
"You really didn't know, did you?" Heero's anger ebbed some and his voice lost some of its steely edge.
"Know what?" she asked shakily. Trowa entered the room, Relena right behind him.
"The bear belonged to me," Relena said. Alex shrugged noncommittally.
"So? Why should I care? It's not important."
"Alex, I'm going to ask you a question and I want the truth," Trowa said firmly. "Are Heero and Relena your parents?"
"No."
"That's the first time you've answered a direct question like that. You wouldn't tell us before even if we asked. They are your parents, aren't they?"
"No," she said again, but a little desperation crept into her voice.
"Would you be willing to test that against a DNA test?"
"NO!"
"Why do you deny it Kira?" Relena asked.
"I'm not Kira! My name is Alex!"
"That's only a name you hide behind, just like Heero isn't my real name. My only excuse is I don't know mine. You don't have one," Heero told her calmly, attacking her with calm logic.
"I'm not Kira! Don't you see that? Kira is sweet and lovable and kind! There is no way a monster like me could ever have been something as gentle as her!" she shouted at them, desperation making her voice shrill even as she fought to control it.
"People can change over time. All I ever knew was the battlefield, but now I'm a circus clown. It doesn't take much for a person to change. One who has seen too much always becomes older than they should be. Why don't you just admit it Kira?" Trowa stepped forward to put a hand on her shoulder but she jerked violently away.
"I'm not Kira! My name isn't Kira! My name is Alex! I could never be Kira! Trowa is my father! Heero has never been my father!" she shouted at them. By this time most of the others were gathered in the hall, staying out of sight, but listening intently.
"Are you saying Trowa was the one who helped give you life, or the one that took care of you? Alex, we need to know, am I your father?"
"You're not my father!" she screamed at him as she sank to the floor sobbing. "You're not my father." She sobbed. It was all anyone needed to dispel the remaining doubt in their minds. Everyone out in the hall sensed that they shouldn't be there then and left. Relena was in tears also and Heero was at a loss for anything to do. He'd had everything planned until the moment he had the truth from her.
Trowa came up to him and whispered, "The healing should start as soon as possible," before guiding Relena gently out of the room. Heero had never been a very paternal person to anyone but his own children before so he balked for a moment before he remembered that she was his daughter.
Slowly he moved toward her, knelt down before her, and put his arms around her. She struggled to get away from him but he was too strong for her to break his hold, so she gave up. Instead she lay her head on his shoulder and cried. Heero held her patiently, soothing her much as she had done for Kira, her younger self, Heero reminded himself. Finally her tears were gone and her sobs subsided.
"Done?" Heero asked calmly as he waited for her to collect herself.
He felt her tense and she suddenly pushed him violently away before struggling to her feet. "How dare you!" she hissed at him. "How dare you do something so stupid! I told you I didn't want anyone to know who I am! I told you! You know I can't have any attachments! I should have let you die when I still had the chance!"
"You'd wish death upon your own father?"
"Do not ever call yourself that Heero! You are not my father. You may be a father to Kira but you were never mine. I told the truth when I said that Trowa was my father. He's the one who took care of me after Relena died! You were too wrapped up in. never mind. I don't want to fight with you. What is done is done."
"You could always just go back in time," Heero suggested, wanting to know what she would say.
"No I couldn't. Then the risk would double of whoever is in the timestream finding out who I am. I can't risk it."
"Why didn't you let me die Alex? You said yourself that I am expendable," he probed.
"Of course you're expendable. Every one of you is. I couldn't let you die though. Relena would have been rather upset and I didn't want to deal with a mourning widow, not to mention everyone else. Relena would just be the worst," she replied angrily, but knew that she'd made a mistake when Heero's face hardened and rage burned in his eyes.
"So you're saying that I mean less to you than dirt? And you can't even bring yourself to call Relena mother?" he asked dangerously.
"Yes. That's exactly what I am saying. You are not my parents. My parents are both dead and in the graveyard. You could never replace Trowa or-or his wife. All you ever were to me was a fall-down-drunk! Now are you happy? Get out of my room!"
"How did I get that way Alex? Tell me that? Was it because I had to put up with you?" he sneered, looking for any way to hurt her as much as she was him.
"You really want to know, Heero?" she asked, "You turned down that path when Relena died!"
"How did she die, Kira?"
"Don't! Don't call me that!"
"That's your name isn't it?"
"No! The Kira you knew is dead, gone, buried, and that is where she should, and will remain for the rest of eternity! Make someone besides me into your puppet! Try little Kira! She seems to love you so much, the naive little child she is! She doesn't know that the moment life gets a little bit rough you'll dump her on someone else like a sack of rocks! And she's too young to understand that you don't care anymore! She'll just keep thinking your coming back until dooms day!"
"Is that really what you thought? Why did it affect me so much Kira? What was so horrible about Relena's death that sent me over the edge?" he asked desperately, wanting to know any way to avoid the fate she foretold for him.
"You're really want to know! Ha! Fool! You're the cause of her death! You killed her! You're the reason she's dead! You thought you would protect her by pushing her behind you! You stupid fool! You don't even know anymore how to tell just who they shoot at! You pushed her behind you and she took the bullet that was meant for you! It should have been you that died, and you couldn't handle that! It drove you mad! Madder than the mad hatter!
"But no one had the heart to put you in an institution so we're the one's who had to suffer. Are you happy now Heero? Do you know anymore than you did? Does it make you feel good to know how you made everyone suffer? It certainly doesn't make me feel good! Get out! Get out!" she yelled, picking up the lamp at the side of her bed and throwing it at him. It hit him in the head and he stumbled out the door, holding a hand to his bleeding scalp. Only then did she realize just how far she'd gone. When Sally was done bandaging Heero up she came in to check on her, but she wasn't there.
~*~
"I thought I'd find you out here." Alex spun around on her tree limb to see Zechs standing below her.
"So you found me," she said flatly. "Are you going to try to weasel something out of me too?"
"I'm surprised you have to ask. I don't want anything from you. I just came to make sure you were all right. You gave Heero a pretty nasty bump on the head," he told her as he climbed up the tree and took a seat on the branch. He sat just close enough to be there, but not close enough to invade her space.
"I guess I got really carried away."
"I think you did too. You've really got him angry with you. You also really hurt Relena." He picked a leaf off the tree and started shredding it thoughtfully.
"It's for the good of the mission," she stated firmly.
"For the good of the mission, or because you're afraid to care about them? If I got a second chance at having my parents I would jump at it, but I never will. Both of our parents were ripped cruelly away from us when we were both very young."
"Yes," she agreed dully.
"Are you really so angry with Heero that you can't forgive him? He's a different person from whoever you knew."
"How would you know?" she snapped.
"The Heero I know loves his children more dearly than life itself. The Heero I know never touches alcohol. The Heero I know would never give his problems to others, in fact, if he can help it, he takes theirs from them," he told her. The leaf he had been shredding was now totally in pieces, so he let them sit on his open palm to be carried away by the wind.
"He's never acted any differently towards me than he ever has, and until he proves me wrong, I will never trust him."
"A wound that is not treated carefully will never fully heal. You should try to see if this one can be mended," he advised her.
"It takes an effort on both sides for such a bridge to be crossed," she retorted.
"He has made an effort. You pushed his kindness away."
"It wasn't kindness, he was obligated to do so. Uncle Trowa would have hurt him if he hadn't. It's not like I didn't hear what he said. I may have been crying like a baby but that didn't mean I was deaf."
"Be that as it may, you still should see if you two can patch things up."
Alex sighed and shrugged. "I'll try not to make him any angrier with me, but I can't promise I'll go out of my way to be nice to him. I will try though."
"That's my girl," Zechs said as he gave her a one armed hug. He noted that she didn't tense when he did. He climbed down out of the tree and started back through the gardens but a question stopped him.
"Uncle Zechs, how did you know you could get me to promise?"
Zechs smiled at her and said, "I've been thinking a lot about why you would have been so disappointed in my answer to why I protected you from your father." She winced and he sighed. "I'm sorry, Kira, but that is what you are. There's no way around it. Some things you just have to accept."
"Like the sun rising in the east?"
"Yes. Exactly like that."
~*~
Alex was reading in the library when Heero came into the room. She looked up long enough to mark who it was that entered before going back to her book. Trowa and Wufei also looked up, but they said nothing.
"Hello," he said to them as he entered. Trowa and Wufei murmured a greeting but Alex stayed silent.
"Kira-,"
"Don't call me that. That isn't my name. If you keep that up you could jeopardize my mission."
"Damn the mission for three seconds! They don't mean anything here. When are you going to understand that?" he snapped.
"I can see there is no use trying to talk to you with the pet your in," she said coolly as she snapped her book shut and stood up."
"Why are you still wearing those contacts? We already know who you are," Heero asked just as coldly.
"I'm blind without them and I don't have any clear ones."
"We can get you some. I'd like you to get rid of those."
She whirled to face him. "For one, don't presume to tell me what to do, for two, I just told you that I can't see without them. I mean that."
"And I just said that we could-,"
"Get me new ones," she finished for him. "I guess I'll have to show you. Uncle Quatre, will you please hold these for me?" she asked as she walked over towards him and started to take her contacts out. When she turned around she looked at him with unfocused blue eyes. "Are you happy now Heero?"
Silently Heero moved a chair from where it had been and just as silently set it down. "Walk over to me," he commanded. Alex started forward shakily, one hand out in front of her. Wufei moved to stop her but Heero shook his head. Quatre just glared at him. All the while Heero watched her eyes. They didn't move, didn't focus when the light brightened or dimmed as she walked past the windows, and she didn't blink.
Just as she reached the chair Heero stepped forward. She fell over it and right into his waiting arms. That was all he needed to convince him. "Why didn't you tell us you were blind?"
"I did, you just didn't listen. Now if you will kindly put me on my feet and direct me back over to Quatre without putting any more furniture in my way I would appreciate it." Heero stood her back up and guided her back over to Quatre. "Thank you. Now, is there a mirror?"
"Why would you need a mirror when you're blind? And how do those help you see?" Wufei inquired curiously.
"They're connected to a chip in my head," Alex explained wearily. "The image of wherever the contacts are pointed are sent to the chip and it gets picked apart. Then it tells me if what is going on around me, like if there is a piece of furniture in my way," with this she looked towards about where Heero was and frowned. "The only bad thing is, is that I still can't see. All I get are outlines and places to move. I never get to see color, or see sparkles on things or anything. I see the bare minimum, but things are processed faster so I'm able to do things quicker than other people."
"Oh," was all Heero could say. He silently led her to a mirror and she put her contacts back in.
"Now, is there something particular you wanted, Heero?"
"No, not really, K-Alex." He noted that she smiled slightly at him.
"Then I'll go to my room and leave you to talk." She inclined her head to them and started to leave.
"Alex, Relena wanted to see you for a moment," Heero called after her as she left the room.
"Thank you."
~*~
"You wanted to see me Relena?" Alex asked, as she walked into the office Relena was using for the duration of her stay while her house was being redone.
"Yes, come in, come in." Alex did so and closed the door when Relena motioned her to. "I'm glad we know who you are now," she faltered, not knowing exactly where to begin.
"Relena, please forget you ever heard any of that. I don't want to hurt you but I can't risk making any attachments. I thought I'd explained that clearly enough, but obviously I didn't," she replied, trying to remain distant.
"You couldn't even call my mom just once?" Relena asked, almost pleading.
"It would be a lie. I never knew you Relena. You're a nice woman, but I don't remember you. All I remember. doesn't matter. I couldn't lie to you like that. Besides, if I called you that I might be tempted to again, and that could get Kira or Daja hurt. I couldn't risk that. They're much too precious to risk."
"Oh." Tears glistened on her lashes. "Well, I got this for you anyway," she said as she slid a small package across her desk.
"Relena, you didn't have to."
"No, I wanted to. It's the least I could do to say thank you." She managed a small smile. "Go on, open it." Alex didn't wait to be told again. She tore open the wrapping paper with trembling fingers and opened the small box that it had adorned. She let out a squeal of joy as into her hand tumbled the beautiful necklace she had looked at when they were shopping.
It was a beautiful thin chain made of white gold, with a small sapphire on the teardrop shaped pendant. A matching ring was also contained in the box.
"Relena, I can't except this. It must have cost a fortune and. well I can't ever wear it," Alex stuttered.
"Actually you will have something to wear it with soon. There is a formal engagement going on in three days that I want to take you to. It's only another stuffy old dinner party with a bunch of politicians, but I'm quite sure you would have fun. Everyone is going, well, not the children of course, but still. I thought you might like to go." Her eyes sparkled and Alex couldn't do anything but say yes.
"Then lets go downtown. I don't want to stay around this house another minute." Alex hesitated a moment. "Oh Alex, if something happens I have a cell phone. You worry too much."
"And you don't worry enough," Alex muttered under her breath as she followed Relena out the door.
~*~
"Man where the heck are the girls?" Duo muttered as he checked his watch for the tenth time.
"Maxwell, its exactly a minute after the last time you checked," Wufei ribbed. "The girls will get done when they get done."
"I bet I know what's taking so long."
"Well spit it out Quatre!" Duo pleaded.
"I heard Relena telling the other girls that, well, Alex hasn't ever worn a dress before and she doesn't know how to use makeup." Most of the men's jaws fell to the floor.
"You've got to be joking!" Zechs said. "She's actually letting them use her as a living Barbie doll?" he shuddered at even the thought.
"Oh god, we're doomed."
"Shut up, Maxwell," Wufei said, punching Duo in the arm.
"Hey man, watch the suit."
"Finally," they heard Trowa say and they all looked up to the second story. Four beautiful women had begun descending the stairs. Relena wore a lovely gown of white with her hair drawn up into a bun. Hildie wore silver with white trim around the hem of the dress. Noin had opted to go with a black gown, but whatever it lacked in color, it made up for on provocation. It was daringly low cut and had a slit in the side up to her thigh. Sally followed behind them wearing a light blue kimono with silver trim.
"Where's Alex?" Heero asked when Relena reached him.
"Oh, she's coming. She's just a little nervous."
"Nervous?" he asked dubiously.
"You'll see," she replied mischievously.
A moment later Alex appeared. She was wearing a floor length dress of midnight blue that showed off her hourglass figure. It was held to her shoulders with spaghetti straps, and it was somewhat low cut. The edges of the dress were trimmed with an intricate design on black, hardly noticeable, but adding character just the same. Her hair was left down but a small part was braided on the sides, then drawn back to wrap around a small piece of hair in a V shape. All this was topped off by a little bit of lip gloss and her jewelry.
Whey the guys saw her, their mouths hit the floor for a second time. In place of the self assured tomboy that they had known, and accepted, there stood a nervous girl just accepting that she was a woman. She descended the stairs and came to stand before Heero.
"Well?" she asked self-consciously.
"You look lovely," he said. Then he offered her and Relena an arm to walk them to the door. Alex looked back over her shoulder at Zechs who gave her an encouraging smile.
~*~
After being at the party for an hour Alex vowed never to come to another one again. Her feet hurt from where her shoes rubbed her differently from her usual ones and her back was killing her from having to stand so straight. She'd tried her hand at dancing but she had given up after the first attempt. It if hadn't been obvious before that she had two left feet it was now. She'd tried to make conversation with the other girls but all they wanted to talk about were guys and clothes. They wouldn't even talk about music. The guys wouldn't even let her into their group to talk with them because they considered themselves above her.
She sighed as she got a glass of punch and sat down at a vacant table to stare out the window. She didn't know where any of her relatives had gone, seeing as they had scattered the moment they walked in the door, leaving her to do as she willed. "Maybe I should have stayed with Uncle Zechs."
It had started to snow outside and the way the snowflakes fell hypnotized her. It was like flying through outer space but without the danger. It was so beautiful that she became lost in their motions and spun around in surprise when someone said, "Is there something really interesting out there?"
Alex found herself looking into the eyes of a tall boy about 5'8" with beautiful silver eyes and black hair. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew I was behind you."
"No, I was just lost in thought. I didn't hear you." She blushed at her own foolishness.
"What were you thinking so hard about?" he asked as he seated himself after her nodding her approval.
"I'm not sure. I was watching the snowflakes and my mind wandered off on its own. No telling where it was." 'Oh god, I sound like an idiot!,' she thought.
"Do you not get snow a lot where you come from?" he asked, ignoring how what she'd said could be interpreted.
"No, at least not this nice."
"Really? We get it a lot. It's really a bother sometimes. It's hard to drive through and it's cold!"
"I always enjoyed it. I love making snow forts or having snowball fights. Oh, where are my manners. My name is Alex."
"Is there a last name to go with that?"
"No," she replied a touch uncomfortably.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry. I'm Jamal Swift."
"Swift?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah, my dad own a big steal company. There's a big old fuss over a merger so I ended up here with him tonight." He wrinkled his nose to show his distaste.
"So why aren't you talking with the boys?"
"I could ask you why you aren't with all the girls."
"Pardon me for saying, but they're all airheads. If those are suppose to be our leaders I think I'll get off at the next stop around the sun."
He laughed and she felt heat rising in her cheeks. "I could say the same about the guys. All they want to discuss is the latest additions to their favorite sports teams and who is going to win the "ESUN's strongest man" this year. Its disgusting how narrow-minded they can be."
"So why'd you want to talk to me? Aren't you afraid I'll be just like them?" she joked.
He shuddered. "Perish the thought. Besides, why would you be sitting over here all alone if you were like the normal politician. Why aren't you with the others discussing what you're going to be doing next week about that big narcotics case?"
"Narcotics case? What?"
"You are a politician, aren't you?"
"Aya, how old do I look?" she asked, wondering if she looked as old as he made her sound.
"About twenty two, why?"
She laughed and he raised an eyebrow. "No, no, no, no, no. I'm only sixteen. I couldn't be a politician even if I wanted to!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I didn't mean to insult you."
"Don't worry about it. Besides, I should take it as a compliment. You're the first person here who hasn't treated me as a child," she said as she began to doodle on a piece of paper.
"Really?"
"Yeah." He looked slightly distracted and she turned to see what he was looking at. "Is something wrong?" she asked when she could see nothing amiss.
"Yeah, I guess. It's just that this creepy guy keeps looking over here. That one there. The one with the weird hair."
"Trowa?" she asked in surprise. She'd never heard him described as creepy before, but then she'd never been on the receiving end of one of his looks without knowing him.
"That's his name? Well whoever he is, he looks like he's plotting my death," he joked.
"Trowa's harmless. I guess he could be creepy if you don't know him, but unless you really do something to make him mad you've got nothing to worry about. He's just checking on me. Thanks for pointing him out thought. I couldn't find him earlier when I was looking for him. Too many people here tonight."
"You know him?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Just wondering," Jamal assured her.
"Will you excuse me a moment?"
"By all means."
"I'll be right back then," she said as she stood and headed in the direction of the bathrooms. She bumped into Quatre on the way out. "Quatre, are you leaving?"
"Yes, I've just got a call from Rachide. He says I need to come home immediately; something about a servant. He wouldn't give me any specifics."
"Okay then, take care. I'll see you tonight." She held up her hand and Quatre grasped it, and kissed it before turning and striding out the doors. Alex waited long enough to see that he got to the car safely before going to the bathroom. She returned to the table a few minutes later.
"You know Quatre Winner?"
"Vaguely," she said guardedly.
"I was just wondering." He put his hands up in mock defeat. They passed the next hour or so talking about whatever came to mind. Just as they were running out of things to talk about Trowa came up and laid his hand on her shoulder.
"It's about time we get going, Alex," he said.
She nodded. "Thank you for a wonderful evening Jamal. I hope I'll be able to see you again some time."
"And I you, fairy lady," he said as he kissed her hand in a parting gesture. She smiled at him and then followed Trowa towards the door. The others were already waiting for her and they all wore anxious looks on their faces. No one spoke on the drive to the mansion but Alex didn't want to talk to anyone. Her stomach was killing her.
"Oh no!" Noin whispered as they rounded a bend in the road and small portion of the mansion came into view, or, more precisely, a section of the mansion that was missing. Instead of seeing part of the roof, they saw only a section of flame that was eating at the wood.
~*~
"It appears that a bomb went off," Rachide said brokenly as he looked at the blackened wood of the once beautiful mansion. I'm just glad that everyone but me was gone tonight. Master Quatre gave us the night off." He was reduced to tears again; all of the adults were. None of them wanted to accept that Quatre was gone; killed by a bomb planted in his house.
Alex was picking her way through the rubble; her dress hiked up to a very indecent level to keep it from getting soiled with soot. Her shoes were already past hope as she stepped on still live coals and broken fragments of things that had once been walls or furniture.
"Why Quatre? Why didn't you save him Alex?" Duo demanded from behind her. She turned and looked at him with a cold, distant expression.
"Why?"
"Why didn't you save him? You had to have known it was going to happen!" he shouted at her.
"Yes, I did." She started picking her way out of the rubble, stopping only long enough to retrieve a VERY battered sports bag. It had scorch marks on it, along with bullet holes, but a ceiling had fallen in on it, saving it from the worst of the fire.
"Then why didn't you do anything about it?!" Wufei demanded.
"I told you when I arrived that I would sacrifice any one of you if it was for the good of the future."
"After all he did for you? After all the kindness he gave you, you let him die?!" Heero demanded.
She stopped before him. "I told you I would, Heero. I meant it then, and I do not regret my decision."
"How could you?!" Noin shrieked at the same time as Hildie.
"You ungrateful cur!" Sally shouted at her. "No, even that word isn't horrid enough to describe you!" Relena tried to say something hateful to her but she couldn't get her voice to work. Instead she slapped her. Alex's head snapped sideways but she said nothing.
"You were right about more than one thing, Alex. You aren't Kira and you aren't our daughter. Our daughter could never be such a monster. That's all you could ever be," Heero growled before he spat on the ground before her.
"Get out of here Alex," Zechs said finally. If this is the kind of protection you offer, we don't need you."
*"Watashiwa shinimegami," she replied steadily, and as the others looked to Heero for a translation she said, "Since you wish me out of your lives, so be it. But remember, if ever you need help, you have only to ask for it."
~*~
As Trowa parked his car in front of his trailer he noticed that one of the lights was on inside. "That's funny. I thought I turned all the lights out," he said to himself as he got out of the car and walked to the door. Out of habit he turned the knob before he inserted his key and, to his surprise, found it unlocked. Immediately he reached for the gun he always carried with him. He yanked the door open and jumped inside the trailer. "Freeze!" he shouted, but it was he who froze instead.
"Quatre?"
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Dream Keeper: Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you like it!
Christa: Yeah! We're almost done! Only another chapter or two at most to go! YEAH! No more sharp, pointy objects to be chucked at me! Yeah!
Dream Keeper: Okay, calm down. Okay, well, time for all good little muses and such to be in bed, so that's where we're headed. Can't wait until this is finished!
Christa: Please don't forget to R&R which means read AND REVIEW!!!!! That is all. Bye! We'll have another chapter up sometime before 2003!
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*Watashiwa-I am * Shinimegami: Shi-death, ni-of/ is/ be/ etc., megami-goddess === Goddess of death. Cool huh? No word for THE though.
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