Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, Joss does. I do not own Lord of
the Rings, Tolkien does. I do not own this idea fully, the people who wrote
the stories mentioned on the page before (the page before the page before
the page before the page.etc.) do mostly. The idea of putting Dawn in is
definitely MINE! (I second that, wait I firsted it, BLASTED!!)
I've changed a few of Joss's ideas, and a few of the things that happened after Buffy jumped. * = thinking " = saying (( and )) = doing (past)
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Dawn's Point of View After the Council
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I was in my room trying to figure out why I had to go with the 'fellowship.' I had tried to go to sleep, but it just wouldn't come.
*Why do I have to go with them? It makes no sense. I should stay here away from the Sauron dude they're so afraid of. It's not fair! I didn't even get a choice in the matter. Buffy just said that I would go if she could go. I'm usually searching for approval from her, but right now, I wanna get away from her. She thinks I'm so weak and that I can't fight. She still thinks that after I've saved her butt like, fifty times or so. How many times has she been ambushed and me come as her saviour. I even almost killed a black wraith thingy, and she still doesn't trust me to take care of myself. I mean, come on. I'm eighteen!*
I never understood why my head went in circles. It did though. I kept thinking and pondering over things that were going on.
*Why won't Buffy tell them about me? About who I am, or more precisely, that I'm not a who. They'd understand, wouldn't they? They'd understand that a human wasn't standing in front of them, that it was actually a mystical ball of energy. Wait, what am I thinking? No one would understand. If they did, they'd probably pity me. Pity's great and all, but it kinda gets a little... old. Buffy acts all concerned for me, but she really thinks that I'm incapable and can't take care of myself. My thoughts are going in circles. I'm gonna have a really big headache when I'm done contemplating this reality. Is it a reality? This place is a dream. Men are polite. There are actually such things as ELVES!!! I still haven't gotten over that shock. And hobbits! Hobbits are so cute! Especially Frodo. I could drool every single time I see him. Merry is cute too, though Pippin ranks on the same level as Frodo. Poor Sam doesn't catch my attention much, though he is really sweet. But, I can't say a thing. My lips are sealed, even from my hero, my sister.*
*She's my hero that worries over me daily and thinks me incapable of walking a mile, much less fighting the big bad. I want to scream, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. I screamed when I woke, and the whole Rivendell was worried for hours on end. Really, I was just freaked for a second, or two. Then Sam was there and I saw I had on a dress. Poof! I was back in dreamland. Buffy was there when I woke up. My hero, Buffy, worrying and scolding me. And that Strider guy was there. Dang, he was hot! He wasn't to cute on the road, but once he showers..bloody hell, he's hot! I'm talking like Spike, now. Spike was cute too. Pippin and Frodo are a little cuter than him. There I go thinking about all the cute guys again. There isn't one ugly man I have seen since Bree, notice I said man. Not dwarf. The dwarfs are so ugly. The look like some punk rock star that's short and fat.*
Alright, my head really goes in circles. From why I have to go with the fellowship to why Buffy won't tell anyone what I am, to cute guys, and cute hobbits. And now it was going to the past.
(( "Is this real? If I'm not real, then I'm not really bleeding. Nothing's real. I'm not." I had slit my wrists, and they were bleeding. Buffy was looking on in horror as I stood there, bleeding. ))
*Buffy has never understood me since then, since I tried to figure out if cutting myself meant anything. I was tempted to do so now, go down to the kitchen, grab a knife, and come back to my room. I would slice my wrists, see if anything would happen. Nothing would happen though, because I'm not here, and I'm not real. No matter how many times Buffy will say that I'm real to her, I know the truth. I'm not real to anyone, because I'm not real. Where's my mom when I need her to comfort me? Mom's gone, dead. Where's my sister when I feel lonely? She's making friends, though she doesn't think so. She's always been the spotlight, no matter how long I screamed for it. Where is a friend to brighten my day? They are with each other, making merry. Should I even call them friends? The poor hobbits would be yelling at me for thinking like this, if I told them. Buffy won't allow me to tell them. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone at school, and I'm not allowed to tell anyone here. Can't tell of my troubles, no one would understand. Can't tell Buffy, she's always been busy. Trying to look after me, trying to slay, trying to bring in money. I should be grateful.*
(( A fourteen-year-old girl was hugging a bleach blond vampire very tightly. They both missed the slayer very, very much. The girl never went to school, there was no reason to. No reason to not be with foster parents. No reason at all. No reason for anything, except there was a reason to cry. ))
*There was no reason for any of this. Why can't I just kill myself? The hobbits would be heartbroken, and Buffy wouldn't deal. Or would she? Would she care? She'd probably like the attention she got? No, I shouldn't think that way. Buffy would feel really sad, really sorry, for herself, and that she had to deal. I am being so selfish right now. Thinking all about myself. I try to care for others. I do care for others. On the outside, I care. On the inside I care. In between reality and non-reality, I don't know if I do or not.*
I now sit here, crying. Crying because I can't sleep. Crying because I can't get away from it all. Crying because I miss my friends, though I don't miss Earth, or Sunnyhell, or the graveyards, or school. I cry because I try to find reason, when the only reason is so others don't grieve. So others don't cry. I hear a noise, but choose to ignore it. It's probably someone walking past the door, not knowing that I sit here, crying my heart out for someone to hear me. For someone to actually care, not because they have to. Buffy cares because she thinks it her responsibility. Why can't someone care just because they care? They actually feel even a tad bit for me. I hear the noise again. It's knocking. Someone's knocking on my door. I wipe of my tears and put on a happy face. The one that fools everyone and gets me through the day. The one the hobbits see. The one Buffy sees. The one the elves see, and believe, at least most of them. I think Lord Elrond guy is gonna give me a big talking to soon. I stand and walk over to the door. I open it and see a smiling Frodo. He talks about how he wishes I would go with him. Go stroll around the gardens. He says I've been in this room to long. He says its not healthy. I'm about to tell him that I'm okay, and that I'm tired, that I just want to be alone. But then, he smiles. He smiles that impossible smile and gives you the most innocent look. The one you can't say no to. I love his smile. It makes me think he cares. Maybe he does! Maybe he might actually care. He might care for me. My day will always brighten when he smiles.
"Sure," I hear my voice, and wander if that happy tone is mine. It sounds so fake. I know it is. I care for him, I really do, but how do I voice that in emotion? I can't seem to be able to get myself to say my emotions aloud. He doesn't notice. He only smiles and wide, Xander-y smile. The Xander I used to have a crush on. The Xander I miss. I talk again, though it seems far off. "I was just a bit tired, I'm alright now. Come on!" I hop out of the room and hook my arm with his, laughing. Laughing the fake laugh. The one only Tara could see past. Oh gawds, I miss Tara. Where is Tara? She's dead. Like mom. Like Giles. Poor Giles, died in a plane crash, going back to England after Willow's..what would you call it? Willow's obsession? Willow's killing-spree? Or poor Willow's aggravation being let out? I had understood her. I had acted mad so Buffy would see me. So Buffy would notice that I was hurt. Buffy only saw me as an annoying sister, like everyone else. I heard them talking about me once. They were talking about how annoying I wise, and that I wasn't capable of anything. That had come from Buffy. That's how I know she really doesn't care. I was skipping now, faking happy. Going to the gardens, where I saw Buffy. Buffy talking to Strider. It unnerved me. I had found out that Strider loved that Arwen lady. She was pretty, very, very pretty. But she and him were doomed, just like Angel and Buffy. They just weren't meant to be. Buffy, however, seemed to be warming up to him. You could see on his face that he enjoyed her company, too. When I get back in touch with my emotions, maybe I could set them up?
*Wish I had that. Someone who I actually enjoyed being with.* Pippin was the closest to that. Frodo came in next. Then Merry, and then Sam. *Oh gawds, I just want to go home. Back to Sunnyhell. I just want to see Xander and Willow. That's all that's left now.* Anya had moved away after becoming a vengeance demon. *I even miss her sex talk. Mostly because she said that it isn't bad, and told the truth about what could happen. I miss the money dance. I miss the happy times. The times before Willow went evil. The times before Xander's wedding. The times before Buffy died, and came back...wrong. She never recovered. She thinks that she can understand me.* I look at Frodo, he's been talking about the Shire, and about the peace there. *There won't be peace if Sauron gets me, or the ring.*
Dawn had finally figured out why Sauron would want her. It was one of two theories. Either A) He knew some way to channel her energy to be used for magic, or B) He wanted to use her to open up entrances to other dimensions, so he could either get new recruits and servants, or so he could conquer that dimension. Dawn didn't like any of these ideas. Neither did Buffy. Buffy would sooner kill herself then let that happen. Dawn would sooner kill herself if that happened. Scratch that, if the hobbits stopped caring, then Dawn would kill herself, period. If one of her friends died, she'd kill herself. It was as simple as that. Dawn never noticed how the eyes of Aragorn followed her, confused, and yet, understanding. She never noticed the Lord Elrond, watching her with a sad expression. A expression that clearly said that he knew what she was thinking.
I've changed a few of Joss's ideas, and a few of the things that happened after Buffy jumped. * = thinking " = saying (( and )) = doing (past)
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Dawn's Point of View After the Council
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I was in my room trying to figure out why I had to go with the 'fellowship.' I had tried to go to sleep, but it just wouldn't come.
*Why do I have to go with them? It makes no sense. I should stay here away from the Sauron dude they're so afraid of. It's not fair! I didn't even get a choice in the matter. Buffy just said that I would go if she could go. I'm usually searching for approval from her, but right now, I wanna get away from her. She thinks I'm so weak and that I can't fight. She still thinks that after I've saved her butt like, fifty times or so. How many times has she been ambushed and me come as her saviour. I even almost killed a black wraith thingy, and she still doesn't trust me to take care of myself. I mean, come on. I'm eighteen!*
I never understood why my head went in circles. It did though. I kept thinking and pondering over things that were going on.
*Why won't Buffy tell them about me? About who I am, or more precisely, that I'm not a who. They'd understand, wouldn't they? They'd understand that a human wasn't standing in front of them, that it was actually a mystical ball of energy. Wait, what am I thinking? No one would understand. If they did, they'd probably pity me. Pity's great and all, but it kinda gets a little... old. Buffy acts all concerned for me, but she really thinks that I'm incapable and can't take care of myself. My thoughts are going in circles. I'm gonna have a really big headache when I'm done contemplating this reality. Is it a reality? This place is a dream. Men are polite. There are actually such things as ELVES!!! I still haven't gotten over that shock. And hobbits! Hobbits are so cute! Especially Frodo. I could drool every single time I see him. Merry is cute too, though Pippin ranks on the same level as Frodo. Poor Sam doesn't catch my attention much, though he is really sweet. But, I can't say a thing. My lips are sealed, even from my hero, my sister.*
*She's my hero that worries over me daily and thinks me incapable of walking a mile, much less fighting the big bad. I want to scream, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. I screamed when I woke, and the whole Rivendell was worried for hours on end. Really, I was just freaked for a second, or two. Then Sam was there and I saw I had on a dress. Poof! I was back in dreamland. Buffy was there when I woke up. My hero, Buffy, worrying and scolding me. And that Strider guy was there. Dang, he was hot! He wasn't to cute on the road, but once he showers..bloody hell, he's hot! I'm talking like Spike, now. Spike was cute too. Pippin and Frodo are a little cuter than him. There I go thinking about all the cute guys again. There isn't one ugly man I have seen since Bree, notice I said man. Not dwarf. The dwarfs are so ugly. The look like some punk rock star that's short and fat.*
Alright, my head really goes in circles. From why I have to go with the fellowship to why Buffy won't tell anyone what I am, to cute guys, and cute hobbits. And now it was going to the past.
(( "Is this real? If I'm not real, then I'm not really bleeding. Nothing's real. I'm not." I had slit my wrists, and they were bleeding. Buffy was looking on in horror as I stood there, bleeding. ))
*Buffy has never understood me since then, since I tried to figure out if cutting myself meant anything. I was tempted to do so now, go down to the kitchen, grab a knife, and come back to my room. I would slice my wrists, see if anything would happen. Nothing would happen though, because I'm not here, and I'm not real. No matter how many times Buffy will say that I'm real to her, I know the truth. I'm not real to anyone, because I'm not real. Where's my mom when I need her to comfort me? Mom's gone, dead. Where's my sister when I feel lonely? She's making friends, though she doesn't think so. She's always been the spotlight, no matter how long I screamed for it. Where is a friend to brighten my day? They are with each other, making merry. Should I even call them friends? The poor hobbits would be yelling at me for thinking like this, if I told them. Buffy won't allow me to tell them. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone at school, and I'm not allowed to tell anyone here. Can't tell of my troubles, no one would understand. Can't tell Buffy, she's always been busy. Trying to look after me, trying to slay, trying to bring in money. I should be grateful.*
(( A fourteen-year-old girl was hugging a bleach blond vampire very tightly. They both missed the slayer very, very much. The girl never went to school, there was no reason to. No reason to not be with foster parents. No reason at all. No reason for anything, except there was a reason to cry. ))
*There was no reason for any of this. Why can't I just kill myself? The hobbits would be heartbroken, and Buffy wouldn't deal. Or would she? Would she care? She'd probably like the attention she got? No, I shouldn't think that way. Buffy would feel really sad, really sorry, for herself, and that she had to deal. I am being so selfish right now. Thinking all about myself. I try to care for others. I do care for others. On the outside, I care. On the inside I care. In between reality and non-reality, I don't know if I do or not.*
I now sit here, crying. Crying because I can't sleep. Crying because I can't get away from it all. Crying because I miss my friends, though I don't miss Earth, or Sunnyhell, or the graveyards, or school. I cry because I try to find reason, when the only reason is so others don't grieve. So others don't cry. I hear a noise, but choose to ignore it. It's probably someone walking past the door, not knowing that I sit here, crying my heart out for someone to hear me. For someone to actually care, not because they have to. Buffy cares because she thinks it her responsibility. Why can't someone care just because they care? They actually feel even a tad bit for me. I hear the noise again. It's knocking. Someone's knocking on my door. I wipe of my tears and put on a happy face. The one that fools everyone and gets me through the day. The one the hobbits see. The one Buffy sees. The one the elves see, and believe, at least most of them. I think Lord Elrond guy is gonna give me a big talking to soon. I stand and walk over to the door. I open it and see a smiling Frodo. He talks about how he wishes I would go with him. Go stroll around the gardens. He says I've been in this room to long. He says its not healthy. I'm about to tell him that I'm okay, and that I'm tired, that I just want to be alone. But then, he smiles. He smiles that impossible smile and gives you the most innocent look. The one you can't say no to. I love his smile. It makes me think he cares. Maybe he does! Maybe he might actually care. He might care for me. My day will always brighten when he smiles.
"Sure," I hear my voice, and wander if that happy tone is mine. It sounds so fake. I know it is. I care for him, I really do, but how do I voice that in emotion? I can't seem to be able to get myself to say my emotions aloud. He doesn't notice. He only smiles and wide, Xander-y smile. The Xander I used to have a crush on. The Xander I miss. I talk again, though it seems far off. "I was just a bit tired, I'm alright now. Come on!" I hop out of the room and hook my arm with his, laughing. Laughing the fake laugh. The one only Tara could see past. Oh gawds, I miss Tara. Where is Tara? She's dead. Like mom. Like Giles. Poor Giles, died in a plane crash, going back to England after Willow's..what would you call it? Willow's obsession? Willow's killing-spree? Or poor Willow's aggravation being let out? I had understood her. I had acted mad so Buffy would see me. So Buffy would notice that I was hurt. Buffy only saw me as an annoying sister, like everyone else. I heard them talking about me once. They were talking about how annoying I wise, and that I wasn't capable of anything. That had come from Buffy. That's how I know she really doesn't care. I was skipping now, faking happy. Going to the gardens, where I saw Buffy. Buffy talking to Strider. It unnerved me. I had found out that Strider loved that Arwen lady. She was pretty, very, very pretty. But she and him were doomed, just like Angel and Buffy. They just weren't meant to be. Buffy, however, seemed to be warming up to him. You could see on his face that he enjoyed her company, too. When I get back in touch with my emotions, maybe I could set them up?
*Wish I had that. Someone who I actually enjoyed being with.* Pippin was the closest to that. Frodo came in next. Then Merry, and then Sam. *Oh gawds, I just want to go home. Back to Sunnyhell. I just want to see Xander and Willow. That's all that's left now.* Anya had moved away after becoming a vengeance demon. *I even miss her sex talk. Mostly because she said that it isn't bad, and told the truth about what could happen. I miss the money dance. I miss the happy times. The times before Willow went evil. The times before Xander's wedding. The times before Buffy died, and came back...wrong. She never recovered. She thinks that she can understand me.* I look at Frodo, he's been talking about the Shire, and about the peace there. *There won't be peace if Sauron gets me, or the ring.*
Dawn had finally figured out why Sauron would want her. It was one of two theories. Either A) He knew some way to channel her energy to be used for magic, or B) He wanted to use her to open up entrances to other dimensions, so he could either get new recruits and servants, or so he could conquer that dimension. Dawn didn't like any of these ideas. Neither did Buffy. Buffy would sooner kill herself then let that happen. Dawn would sooner kill herself if that happened. Scratch that, if the hobbits stopped caring, then Dawn would kill herself, period. If one of her friends died, she'd kill herself. It was as simple as that. Dawn never noticed how the eyes of Aragorn followed her, confused, and yet, understanding. She never noticed the Lord Elrond, watching her with a sad expression. A expression that clearly said that he knew what she was thinking.
