Usually, after my victim is dead, I'll take the body to be properly displayed. This involves picking the corpse up, slugging it over my shoulder, so that the flesh is not torn when scraping along the sidewalk, and going to work on dismembering and other finishing touches.
But, as I gazed at the body of that giant, Carlos, I was starting to think that carrying him was going to be a bigger problem than I'd thought it would be. I estimated his weight to be a rough three hundred pounds, while mine was somewhere from one hundred sixty to one hundred eighty; I wasn't sure considering the fact that the last time I weighed myself was back at Manticore, which was over eleven years ago.
I'd always been one of the smaller of the X5 males, which led to vicious teasing about being a "girly boy" when back at Manticore. I have a vague memory of when I was much younger-approximately four or five-and going outside to climb the treacherous training walls. Perhaps it was a rather immature age to start military training and discipline, but in Lydecker's eyes it was, "the sooner, the better".
We, my main squad and I, had all lined up and then, with a signal from dear old daddy 'Deck, we were off. Zack, being the asshole that he is, had to be first to prove that he was a strong enough leader to take care of all of us. Zane was next, eagerly trying to catch up with Zack as they sailed over the walls. Jack was close behind those two idiots; I'd always liked Jack a little better than the rest, and I was hoping that he'd be the one to push Zack's nose into the dirt. Unfortunately, Jack's dead, leaving behind only dimwitted X5 males. Anyhow, at that time, it was competition, fierce, nasty competition to see who could be "all that they could be".
Tinga, Max, and Jondy were next, staying close together in their little circle of friends that they had. All three girls were far too "I'm so much better and sweeter than you" for my preference. Max was one of the worst, always whining and pleading with one of us to do something, anything, to please her. Bite me.
Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if she and Zack were hooked up now with a couple kids from her heat cycles; he always did have more than brother-sister emotional attachment with her, and even though he denied it-still does-the fact remains that he wants her. I'd have to ask him how she was doing the next time that he decided to stop by.
After the trio of brats, came Syl, followed closely by Brin who was determined to push the little blond out of her way so that she could lead. Brin always was a person who wouldn't take shit from anybody. I'd have to see what I could do about convincing her to join me in my mission to serve the Blue Lady-if I could find her, that is.
Eva ran from behind Brin, with Krit in tow. Krit, the arrogant jerk that always thought he was better than you for reasons that I can't explain. He's touchy and conceited with something shoved up his ass that isn't coming out anytime soon.
At the very end of our training were just two. Just Jace and I. She was weak with hollow eyes and skinny twig-like arms that looked like you could snap them just by blowing on her. Maybe that's why she never escaped from Manticore-she was afraid of the real world. But, now, she's probably a killer stronger than any of us-even Zack-could imagine.
Anyhow, she, seeing that we were being left behind, took off running on lean little legs, nearly flying over the walls, and not wanting Lydecker to get pissed off with us.
I hesitated, watching the others running and jumping with such a grace. My cheeks may have been heavy with baby fat, but on the inside, I was still the runt. Everyone knew it, but were smart enough not to say anything.
Finally, I headed towards one of the walls, ready to pull myself up and over it. My tiny hands couldn't even fit all of the way around the weathered rope, and I continuously fell down. But I was determined not to give up as I heard the labored breaths of Zack and Zane walking back to the building, finished with their race. They were done, and I couldn't even get a start.
My hands were bleeding, staining my nightgown like uniform that hung sloppily on my bony shoulders. I was crying in frustration and anger because I didn't have enough damned strength to get over that wall. A burning sensation had spread throughout my body due to muscle fatigue, while my eyes stung with tears. I was screaming and yelling, using words that were half-sane and half psychotic.
Night arrived, and I was still out there, moving sluggishly, but determined not to give up, despite the fact that I could no longer stand from pure exhaustion. The others had gone inside hours ago and were most likely in bed. Probably Zack was laughing at me through his barred window.
"Ben."
I turned around and with my childish eyes I saw a shadow man standing before me. He was tall and massive, built stocky with silver hair.
Unsure, I stayed where I was, but wiped the grimy tears away with bloody, dirty fists. This process, however, only got sand in my eyes, which caused more watering and sniveling. "I'm sorry, sir," I apologized to Lydecker. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't."
Then, he did something, that to this day, I am unable to explain. He grabbed me by the hand, pulled me to my feet, then lifted me up, letting my knees loop over his arms, while he hugged me tightly to his leather chest, and carried me inside the building like a true child-not a solider child.
"Ben, you're different from the rest of them, you know that-don't you?"
I didn't know that, but I nodded nonetheless, wanting nothing more than to go back to the stiff cot and sleep-even if I did have to put up with many of my annoying siblings.
"You'll go on and make something of yourself, I can guarantee it. Don't worry about how much faster Zack and the others are. They may be shot because of their own arrogance, or may destroy their owns lives because of emotional issues. You, Ben, will not."
He then, pulled me closer to him like a father would to a son and didn't let me go until we reached my bed. I instantly fell asleep, forgetting his words until now.
Carlos' body may have been as massive as a moose, but I knew that I couldn't stand back and cry like I had done so many years ago.
So, using all of my strength, I heaved the body up onto my shoulder, groaning under the weight, grabbed his weapons, and headed off into the night.
