Chapter 4
Ron stood with his back stiff, in front of the fireplace, while Severus stood in the back of Dumbledores desk. Both men looked like they would rather be any place but here. Ron eyed Dumbledore wearily as the older wizard began to speak.
"Ron I understand that you want this to go to the Ministry, and that is your choice. But I really feel that you and your family should visit the pensive before you make your final decision. Hermione made her Pensive when she made her Muggle will, in which she left full custody of Jillian to Professor Snape. As we both know under normal circumstances, you as Jillian biological father would be given full custody in any Wizarding Court. But I don't feel that this is "normal circumstances" by any means. The end of your final year here was most stressful, and I think that there are a lot of things that happened that you might not remember. It was an emotional time for all of us, but for you and Hermione most of all. I think if your going to ask a Ministry panel to judge this that it would be in your best interest to see first. After all if it is used in a Wizarding Custody battle, it will not only to the Ministry, but to any reporters who wishes to view it." By the tone in his voice, everyone in the room knew that it was not a request, but an order.
A Pensive made of shiny black stone sat on a high alter off to one side of the room. Ron was unable to read the etchings around the rim; it was unlike any other pensive he had ever seen. It seemed to have an aura that hung heavily in the room. Dumbledore seeing Ron eyeing the bowl answered his unasked question.
"This is a "Last Testament Pensive". It is very similar to the kind of Pensive that your father would use for MoM business, but there are a few differences. First, it needs at least two witness signatures on the bowl to be legal. Both Professor McGonagall and I were chosen to be witness; therefore we have viewed its contents. Second, you are able to deposit a vast amount of information on it. Because of this, it can be quite time consuming to view it, so anyone who has witnessed it, that being Hermione, Severus, Minerva, and myself can move to specific memories if we need to," he said as he walked over to the bowl and traced a finger gently over the unreadable script. As he did so the letters unscrambled to form his name. "You really only need one legal witness to activate the pensive." He said. "But Severus is going to be in charge of the viewing, as he has seen it more than once."
Everyone moved to the pensive, and with some trepidation slipped into Hermione's memories. One moment they were standing in Dumbledore's comfortable office, the next second they were standing on the edges of a bloody battlefield watching as Harry Potter was making his last stand against Lord Voldemort.
Ron's shoulders visibly sagged, and his breath started coming in low harsh gasps at the sight. To watch your best friend in the world die once was bad enough, but watching it a second time was excruciating. He felt like something heavy was sitting on his chest, and a cold sweat broke out all over his body, chilling him. Fleur, sympathy in her eyes, took her husbands hand in hers for reassurance, and whispered soothing words in his ear. But he dident appear to even notice.
It would come anytime; their wands would connect, and then unexpectedly explode killing both Harry and Voldemort. Yes here it was, it was coming, now, now, Ron couldn't see, as a thick gray fog threatened to pull him under. "OHGODOHGOD.OH GOD" Ron was chanting under his breath, as he began to shake uncontrollably.
There was a deafening roar, and then a heavy emerald green mist thick as the proverbial pea soup blanketed the field. When at last it started to clear, you could see that the carnage was vast. Here and there people who had only been knocked unconscious by the blast were beginning to stir. Off to one side they watched as a frantic Severus worked to pull the Headmaster from under the lifeless body of Hagrid. Hagrid, who loved Dumbledore above all else, had somehow managed to throw his large body between Voldemort and his champion, and had died a hero saving him. Because of Hagrids bulk, Severus and Minerva who had flanked Dumbledore during the battle had also been saved.
Ron was pulled from this sight as the sounds of deepest loss rocked them. He turned only to see that it was his younger self who was the source of that horrible wailing. He was kneeling next to Harry, his head thrown back keening, the sound carried eerily over the field. Hermione who had reached Harry first, had managed to pull his bloody torso onto her lap. Both were so covered in bloody mud and muck, that was hard to tell where one body ended and the other began.
Ron's face so pale that you could see the blue veins underneath the surface, as he stared at his best friends body. His anguish was evident in every shallow breath he took.
Severus who himself was having trouble revisiting this horrific memory, took pity on the Ron, who to his discomfort reminded him of Jillian after she had one of her particularly bad nightmares. "I can control this if needed, we don't need to see everything, unless you want to."
Ron could only nodded his head in acceptance.
Severus added. "You can go back and view the whole thing if you want, but for now we'll just see the memories that I feel are the most significant."
Ron who was still looking at Harry's lifeless eyes, once again nodded.
With one word, suddenly they were in Hermione's head-girl room. She was holding Ron in her arms, his head in her lap. She was gently running her fingers through his hair and talking softly to him. He remained unresponsive; his eyes open but not really focusing on anything.
"Ron, please talk to me. Ron. Ron, please don't leave me too. What am I going to do without my two best friends? You can't leave me Ron, please. Please."
Ron rose to his knees his face inches away from hers. "Hermione I feel like I'm dead inside, like they should just put in the ground with Harry tomorrow. Help me feel alive again. Help me feel something, anything other than this emptiness." His eyes were begging his hands clutching harshly at her arms that were sure to leave bruises.
"Oh, Ron," She said helplessly "what are we going to do with out him?"
Desperately they clung together lips that were unfamiliar pressed clumsily, hands clutching..
Severus couldn't stand to watch his beloved Hermione with another man, even if it was long before she had ever been his. He once again moved them into another memory.
Ron could be seen sitting at the Gryffindor table talking with Dean, from Ron's appearance you could tell that some time had past. He was very pale, and had lost too much weight for his tall frame. He seemed to have picked up a nervous tick, and kept yanking at his collar as if it was much too tight.
Suddenly Hormone appeared beside him. "Ron, I've been waiting for you. You said you would meet me." She hissed exasperated, as if this was not the first time she had been left to wait for him.
"Can't talk now 'Mone, I've got to go, and" His eyes shifted away from her. "ummmm, pack." He said in a unconvincing voice.
"Oh please." She snorted. "Your room was the first place I checked, everything is packed and ready to go, I bet you've been packed and ready to go for a week at least. I need to talk to you now, we can do this here, or we can go to someplace where we can talk alone. Its up to you, but this time we are going to talk." She said firmly.
Ron got up and followed her out into the garden; where they sat down on a bench in an unused area.
"I've been trying to talk to you for weeks now, but you just keep avoiding me. I guess I really didn't try too hard, didn't quite know what to say." She said in one long breath. "Oh Bugger, I don't know how to tell you Ron, "but we're going to have a baby. My scholarship," She wailed. "I'm going to loose my scholarship.what are we going to do?" The last was said in a frustrated half whisper.
Ron jumped to his feet, hand out in front on him as if warding of a vicious animal. "What do you mean, "we're going to have a baby", I aint having no God-Dammed baby! You might me having one, but not me."
The look of hurt on Hermione's face broke Ron's heart. Why had he not noticed it then? Before he could make any more observations, she was speaking again.
"Oh Ron! Really of course you're going to have a baby too. I can guarantee you that I'm not the Virgin Mary, what do you want me to do tell everyone it's Harry's, and give it the Potter name so you don't have to take responsibility?"
Ron could have kicked his younger self, at the look of hope on his face. "You'd do that?"
"GOD NO, RON! Do you think a child with the Potter name would be safe? We may have won the war, but I'm sure that there are still Death Eaters alive who are loyal to Voldemort. There is no way I'm leaving the Wizarding world, I've worked to long and hard to let this life go." She said angrily.
"Hermione, I never thought.never asked you would leave the Wizarding world. I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now. You just sprung it on me, after all." Ron said going to sit next to her, taking her hand in his. "I need to think! Oh God, what a mess we've gotten ourselves into." He said looking out into the night sky.
"Hermione" he said after a second. "Have you thought about taking a abortive potion?" he asked gently. When she didn't respond he continued softy. "It would be for the best. You can't go to collage and take care of a baby at the same time, its impossible. Babies are so much work, so much responsibility, and I for one know I'm not ready for this. Hell I can't even take care of myself yet."
She shook her head sadly "I can't do that. Just get rid of it, as if it meant nothing, as if it was nothing more than a piece of trash to throw away. There has been so much death already; we lost so many good friends. To kill it, to take away its life because it's a bit of an inconvenient time for the both of us, just seems so, so wrong! It was our mistake, not the babies. I can't do it, I won't do it, so please don't ask it of me." She gave a sad shake of her head.
She squared her shoulders. "Really it's only eleven years out of our life, then it will be time for him to go away to good ol' Hogwarts." She nodded her head determinedly "Eleven years isn't so bad.is it? If we work together, we could pull it off.don't you think?"
Ron put his head in his hand, shaking it back and forth in frustration. "I don't want to "Pull it off" God Hermione am I being punished? It was just that one time, just that one time after Harry, after Harry" He stopped not being able to go on.
"What am I suppose to do about Fleur, Hermione? God, I really think that I love her, and I think that she love's me too. Someday, in a few years when we were older, I was hoping to marry her, to have my children with her." Ron, who had walked a short distance away, now turned and walked back to her, getting on his knees in front of her.
"Now.Now, I'll be in a loveless marriage. To take care of a mistake for the next eleven years? You want me to give up Fleur, to give up on all my dreams? Is that what your asking me to do? Because it is, if you're going to keep it, well then I'll marry you, and I'll stay with you and help raise it, but don't expect me to love you or it, because that just asking too much of me."
The tears were running down her face. "No Ron I didn't expect you to love me, but I thought you might still love your child. I thought you had the right to know, and now that you do, I just need to take some time to formulate a plan." She said stoically.
They sat in complete silence for a while. Ron was thinking of Fleur.beautiful, smart, sexy Fleur. The one person that made him feel like a winner. When he was with her he was not longer just the youngest son in a long line of sons, not the sidekick to the savior of the wizarding world, or the underachieving friend to the smartest witch in a century. Fleur could have anyone, and she wanted him, Ron Weasley. She made him feel special; made him feel like he could do anything, made him fell like he was someone.
"As I said before with your families genes I don't think we will be able to deny that it's yours, or could we. Maybe we can work around this, if we do it together." She said her brow wrinkled in thought.
"For this to work we need to appear to be as close as before Harry died. The leaving feast is only in a few weeks, so it shouldn't be too hard." In her best know-it-all voice she continued, but we need to start the rumors now. "I' have a Muggle photo of me with my cousin and her ex-boyfriend, he has red hair. Ask me about him at dinner and I'll bring out the photo, pass it around to everyone to see. I'll say that I met him at spring break this year, then timing will work out. I can send you letters all about him; send you another photo of us, I know I have some at home. Show your family, comment on his hair color. Make sure they remember it. We will slowly lose contact; I will be gone for a while I'm getting my degree. If you tell everyone about me and my boyfriend, maybe nobody will think a twice about it, if after collage I turn up with a child that may look like you."
The look of happiness on the younger Ron's face at the idea of not being involved with Hermione and her child did not go unnoticed by her, or their future "guests".
"Oh Ron." Breathed both his parents in the same breath.
Ron cringed at the look of disappointment on Fleur's beautiful face, but it was nothing to the disappointment he felt in himself. Wishing he could go and kick his younger self in the arse, to yell at him. To tell him to love her now, because in a few years time this wonderful, smart young woman, the one who was supposed to be his best friend, would be dead. And he would never apologize to her; never make his peace with her. And this point right here, at this very point in time, it was the beginning of the end. The end of their friendship, and he had single handedly destroyed it. And the fact that despite his own personal pain at losing Harry, he should have noticed. But he didn't, not until this very moment.
Severus could see that Ron was having a hard time watching this. "Good" he thought in burst bitterness "Let him! Let him feel her pain, let him know the hell she went through. He took one last look at Hermione's tear streaked face, and felt his resolve harden.
Ron stood with his back stiff, in front of the fireplace, while Severus stood in the back of Dumbledores desk. Both men looked like they would rather be any place but here. Ron eyed Dumbledore wearily as the older wizard began to speak.
"Ron I understand that you want this to go to the Ministry, and that is your choice. But I really feel that you and your family should visit the pensive before you make your final decision. Hermione made her Pensive when she made her Muggle will, in which she left full custody of Jillian to Professor Snape. As we both know under normal circumstances, you as Jillian biological father would be given full custody in any Wizarding Court. But I don't feel that this is "normal circumstances" by any means. The end of your final year here was most stressful, and I think that there are a lot of things that happened that you might not remember. It was an emotional time for all of us, but for you and Hermione most of all. I think if your going to ask a Ministry panel to judge this that it would be in your best interest to see first. After all if it is used in a Wizarding Custody battle, it will not only to the Ministry, but to any reporters who wishes to view it." By the tone in his voice, everyone in the room knew that it was not a request, but an order.
A Pensive made of shiny black stone sat on a high alter off to one side of the room. Ron was unable to read the etchings around the rim; it was unlike any other pensive he had ever seen. It seemed to have an aura that hung heavily in the room. Dumbledore seeing Ron eyeing the bowl answered his unasked question.
"This is a "Last Testament Pensive". It is very similar to the kind of Pensive that your father would use for MoM business, but there are a few differences. First, it needs at least two witness signatures on the bowl to be legal. Both Professor McGonagall and I were chosen to be witness; therefore we have viewed its contents. Second, you are able to deposit a vast amount of information on it. Because of this, it can be quite time consuming to view it, so anyone who has witnessed it, that being Hermione, Severus, Minerva, and myself can move to specific memories if we need to," he said as he walked over to the bowl and traced a finger gently over the unreadable script. As he did so the letters unscrambled to form his name. "You really only need one legal witness to activate the pensive." He said. "But Severus is going to be in charge of the viewing, as he has seen it more than once."
Everyone moved to the pensive, and with some trepidation slipped into Hermione's memories. One moment they were standing in Dumbledore's comfortable office, the next second they were standing on the edges of a bloody battlefield watching as Harry Potter was making his last stand against Lord Voldemort.
Ron's shoulders visibly sagged, and his breath started coming in low harsh gasps at the sight. To watch your best friend in the world die once was bad enough, but watching it a second time was excruciating. He felt like something heavy was sitting on his chest, and a cold sweat broke out all over his body, chilling him. Fleur, sympathy in her eyes, took her husbands hand in hers for reassurance, and whispered soothing words in his ear. But he dident appear to even notice.
It would come anytime; their wands would connect, and then unexpectedly explode killing both Harry and Voldemort. Yes here it was, it was coming, now, now, Ron couldn't see, as a thick gray fog threatened to pull him under. "OHGODOHGOD.OH GOD" Ron was chanting under his breath, as he began to shake uncontrollably.
There was a deafening roar, and then a heavy emerald green mist thick as the proverbial pea soup blanketed the field. When at last it started to clear, you could see that the carnage was vast. Here and there people who had only been knocked unconscious by the blast were beginning to stir. Off to one side they watched as a frantic Severus worked to pull the Headmaster from under the lifeless body of Hagrid. Hagrid, who loved Dumbledore above all else, had somehow managed to throw his large body between Voldemort and his champion, and had died a hero saving him. Because of Hagrids bulk, Severus and Minerva who had flanked Dumbledore during the battle had also been saved.
Ron was pulled from this sight as the sounds of deepest loss rocked them. He turned only to see that it was his younger self who was the source of that horrible wailing. He was kneeling next to Harry, his head thrown back keening, the sound carried eerily over the field. Hermione who had reached Harry first, had managed to pull his bloody torso onto her lap. Both were so covered in bloody mud and muck, that was hard to tell where one body ended and the other began.
Ron's face so pale that you could see the blue veins underneath the surface, as he stared at his best friends body. His anguish was evident in every shallow breath he took.
Severus who himself was having trouble revisiting this horrific memory, took pity on the Ron, who to his discomfort reminded him of Jillian after she had one of her particularly bad nightmares. "I can control this if needed, we don't need to see everything, unless you want to."
Ron could only nodded his head in acceptance.
Severus added. "You can go back and view the whole thing if you want, but for now we'll just see the memories that I feel are the most significant."
Ron who was still looking at Harry's lifeless eyes, once again nodded.
With one word, suddenly they were in Hermione's head-girl room. She was holding Ron in her arms, his head in her lap. She was gently running her fingers through his hair and talking softly to him. He remained unresponsive; his eyes open but not really focusing on anything.
"Ron, please talk to me. Ron. Ron, please don't leave me too. What am I going to do without my two best friends? You can't leave me Ron, please. Please."
Ron rose to his knees his face inches away from hers. "Hermione I feel like I'm dead inside, like they should just put in the ground with Harry tomorrow. Help me feel alive again. Help me feel something, anything other than this emptiness." His eyes were begging his hands clutching harshly at her arms that were sure to leave bruises.
"Oh, Ron," She said helplessly "what are we going to do with out him?"
Desperately they clung together lips that were unfamiliar pressed clumsily, hands clutching..
Severus couldn't stand to watch his beloved Hermione with another man, even if it was long before she had ever been his. He once again moved them into another memory.
Ron could be seen sitting at the Gryffindor table talking with Dean, from Ron's appearance you could tell that some time had past. He was very pale, and had lost too much weight for his tall frame. He seemed to have picked up a nervous tick, and kept yanking at his collar as if it was much too tight.
Suddenly Hormone appeared beside him. "Ron, I've been waiting for you. You said you would meet me." She hissed exasperated, as if this was not the first time she had been left to wait for him.
"Can't talk now 'Mone, I've got to go, and" His eyes shifted away from her. "ummmm, pack." He said in a unconvincing voice.
"Oh please." She snorted. "Your room was the first place I checked, everything is packed and ready to go, I bet you've been packed and ready to go for a week at least. I need to talk to you now, we can do this here, or we can go to someplace where we can talk alone. Its up to you, but this time we are going to talk." She said firmly.
Ron got up and followed her out into the garden; where they sat down on a bench in an unused area.
"I've been trying to talk to you for weeks now, but you just keep avoiding me. I guess I really didn't try too hard, didn't quite know what to say." She said in one long breath. "Oh Bugger, I don't know how to tell you Ron, "but we're going to have a baby. My scholarship," She wailed. "I'm going to loose my scholarship.what are we going to do?" The last was said in a frustrated half whisper.
Ron jumped to his feet, hand out in front on him as if warding of a vicious animal. "What do you mean, "we're going to have a baby", I aint having no God-Dammed baby! You might me having one, but not me."
The look of hurt on Hermione's face broke Ron's heart. Why had he not noticed it then? Before he could make any more observations, she was speaking again.
"Oh Ron! Really of course you're going to have a baby too. I can guarantee you that I'm not the Virgin Mary, what do you want me to do tell everyone it's Harry's, and give it the Potter name so you don't have to take responsibility?"
Ron could have kicked his younger self, at the look of hope on his face. "You'd do that?"
"GOD NO, RON! Do you think a child with the Potter name would be safe? We may have won the war, but I'm sure that there are still Death Eaters alive who are loyal to Voldemort. There is no way I'm leaving the Wizarding world, I've worked to long and hard to let this life go." She said angrily.
"Hermione, I never thought.never asked you would leave the Wizarding world. I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now. You just sprung it on me, after all." Ron said going to sit next to her, taking her hand in his. "I need to think! Oh God, what a mess we've gotten ourselves into." He said looking out into the night sky.
"Hermione" he said after a second. "Have you thought about taking a abortive potion?" he asked gently. When she didn't respond he continued softy. "It would be for the best. You can't go to collage and take care of a baby at the same time, its impossible. Babies are so much work, so much responsibility, and I for one know I'm not ready for this. Hell I can't even take care of myself yet."
She shook her head sadly "I can't do that. Just get rid of it, as if it meant nothing, as if it was nothing more than a piece of trash to throw away. There has been so much death already; we lost so many good friends. To kill it, to take away its life because it's a bit of an inconvenient time for the both of us, just seems so, so wrong! It was our mistake, not the babies. I can't do it, I won't do it, so please don't ask it of me." She gave a sad shake of her head.
She squared her shoulders. "Really it's only eleven years out of our life, then it will be time for him to go away to good ol' Hogwarts." She nodded her head determinedly "Eleven years isn't so bad.is it? If we work together, we could pull it off.don't you think?"
Ron put his head in his hand, shaking it back and forth in frustration. "I don't want to "Pull it off" God Hermione am I being punished? It was just that one time, just that one time after Harry, after Harry" He stopped not being able to go on.
"What am I suppose to do about Fleur, Hermione? God, I really think that I love her, and I think that she love's me too. Someday, in a few years when we were older, I was hoping to marry her, to have my children with her." Ron, who had walked a short distance away, now turned and walked back to her, getting on his knees in front of her.
"Now.Now, I'll be in a loveless marriage. To take care of a mistake for the next eleven years? You want me to give up Fleur, to give up on all my dreams? Is that what your asking me to do? Because it is, if you're going to keep it, well then I'll marry you, and I'll stay with you and help raise it, but don't expect me to love you or it, because that just asking too much of me."
The tears were running down her face. "No Ron I didn't expect you to love me, but I thought you might still love your child. I thought you had the right to know, and now that you do, I just need to take some time to formulate a plan." She said stoically.
They sat in complete silence for a while. Ron was thinking of Fleur.beautiful, smart, sexy Fleur. The one person that made him feel like a winner. When he was with her he was not longer just the youngest son in a long line of sons, not the sidekick to the savior of the wizarding world, or the underachieving friend to the smartest witch in a century. Fleur could have anyone, and she wanted him, Ron Weasley. She made him feel special; made him feel like he could do anything, made him fell like he was someone.
"As I said before with your families genes I don't think we will be able to deny that it's yours, or could we. Maybe we can work around this, if we do it together." She said her brow wrinkled in thought.
"For this to work we need to appear to be as close as before Harry died. The leaving feast is only in a few weeks, so it shouldn't be too hard." In her best know-it-all voice she continued, but we need to start the rumors now. "I' have a Muggle photo of me with my cousin and her ex-boyfriend, he has red hair. Ask me about him at dinner and I'll bring out the photo, pass it around to everyone to see. I'll say that I met him at spring break this year, then timing will work out. I can send you letters all about him; send you another photo of us, I know I have some at home. Show your family, comment on his hair color. Make sure they remember it. We will slowly lose contact; I will be gone for a while I'm getting my degree. If you tell everyone about me and my boyfriend, maybe nobody will think a twice about it, if after collage I turn up with a child that may look like you."
The look of happiness on the younger Ron's face at the idea of not being involved with Hermione and her child did not go unnoticed by her, or their future "guests".
"Oh Ron." Breathed both his parents in the same breath.
Ron cringed at the look of disappointment on Fleur's beautiful face, but it was nothing to the disappointment he felt in himself. Wishing he could go and kick his younger self in the arse, to yell at him. To tell him to love her now, because in a few years time this wonderful, smart young woman, the one who was supposed to be his best friend, would be dead. And he would never apologize to her; never make his peace with her. And this point right here, at this very point in time, it was the beginning of the end. The end of their friendship, and he had single handedly destroyed it. And the fact that despite his own personal pain at losing Harry, he should have noticed. But he didn't, not until this very moment.
Severus could see that Ron was having a hard time watching this. "Good" he thought in burst bitterness "Let him! Let him feel her pain, let him know the hell she went through. He took one last look at Hermione's tear streaked face, and felt his resolve harden.
