Chapter 7
Night Terrors
Insomnia ruled Severus' nights, and he considered it a good thing if more than three hours of sleep were to be had. Working on potions had always been relaxing to him, and if that somehow failed there was always walking the cold damp halls.
He had seen Hermione many a night, walking with the toddler. Trying to get the little girl to sleep. Never before had announced himself, choosing instead to fade back into the shadows till they had passed him by. Sometimes he would walk just far enough behind her that he could just hear her talking softly to her daughter. Sometimes a snatch of a lullaby would float down the hall to tease his ears. She didn't have what he would say was a beautiful voice; it was a bit too low in pitch for that. But he found her voice, bringing to mind lazy Sunday mornings in bed with a good book. He would often follow them, until child sleeping and they were safely slipping back through the portrait hole to her rooms.
This went on for some time until one night it was different, the child's cries were disturbing in the fact that they reminded him of his own after waking from a particularly bad nightmare. They walked down one hallway, and up another with Severus following closer and closer behind them. Hermione singing to the baby, and rubbing her back. If anything the child's cries were getting worse. Not being able to take it any more, he finally approached her.
"Hermione, is there anything I can do to help you?" He asked walking silently up behind her.
She turned around, her eyes wide with fright and mouth in a
perfect O of surprise.
"Severus! You frightened me; I didn't
realize you were there. I hope that we
didn't wake you." She said
apologetically. He couldn't help but
noticed that her eyes had a bruised look about them.
"No, no of course not" He said, biting back any cutting reply that would normally come out.
"I patrol the hallway at nighttime as part of my duties. Do you need me to make you a calming potion for her?" He asked, trying to sound helpful and not too hopeful as Jillian's cries were in fact quiet loud.
The ear splitting wails stopped abruptly as the baby turned her head and laid it upon he mothers breast, firmly wedging her thumb into her mouth up to the second knuckle. She watched him out of her tear-swollen eyes, an occasional whimper coming out around the thumb.
"I don't know…I don't want to give her anything addictive. She has night terrors, and wakes up most nights screaming. The Doctors say she should out grow it, said it's best not to giver her any Dreamless sleep at this age." She said, rubbing slow comforting circles on Jillie's back.
"Well I can relate to that." He said, as he almost bucked under a great tide of empathy that hit him like a tidalwave, making him soften towards the baby.
Hermione wasn't sure if he meant he could relate to the night terrors, or not wanting to give the baby something too additive. So she just smiled weakly at him, her exhaustion showing.
"Here…let me take her for you." He said, holding out his hands to the baby.
Jillian reached out for him immediately, but Hermione pulled slightly away.
"Oh for Goodness sake, I'm not going to pitch her out the first open window." He said in an exasperated voice. "You look like you need a break, that's all. Let me take her, before you drop with exhaustion. The last thing this school needs in a lawsuit. I'll walk with you up to your rooms."
"Your right, I'm just being silly. Please don't take offence, mothers sometimes tend to think that only they themselves can care for their children." She said handing Jillie to him with a sigh of relief.
Jillian immediately snuggled her head into the nook between his shoulder and chin. Taking her thumb out of her mouth she said in a contented voice. "Up, Sev-us."
"Wow." Hermione said looking from her semi-calm baby back to Severus. "Your really good with her…I would have never guessed that you had a knack with children, Severus."
"I don't. And don't try and tell anyone I do. This little creature can't be a child, I think you've been duped and the hospital kept you baby and they gave you this changeling. She's probably a forty year old dwarf." He said looking menacingly down his large nose at her. Hermione just grinned and started to walk toward her rooms.
"Yes, I got you" He said awkwardly trying to mimic Hermione by rubbing clumsy circles on the child's back.
When they reached the portrait to her rooms He carried Jillian in. "Do you have any Chamomile Tea?" He asked her.
"If you do, why don't you make some? It will have a calming influence on you both, and is non-additive. If you give her some before bedtime each night, it could help." He said sitting in the glider rocking chair in front to the fireplace.
Hermione walked to out to the small kitchenette, to check her cupboards. In her absence he had the chance to look around. Comfort seemed to be her style, no stuffy antiques like you found in most of the other professors rooms. He thought many items were muggal, and that made them all the more interesting. Taking up a big part of the room stood a large L-shaped couch in moss green chenille a muted burgundy chenille throw was artfully draped over one arm. In front of a wall of bookcases stood two overstuffed chairs in the same moss green, just begging to be sat in. A few toys sprinkled in front of them. The chair he was sitting in, well it was in all likely hood for nights just like this one.
Noticing the photograph on the low table next to him, he picked it up. In it stood a younger Hermione arms about the slim hips of a tall red haired young man. Yes Minerva, had mentioned something about this young man. Scanning the young man, his face and body, Severus quickly dismissed him as the babies' father. Jillian shared his hair color but nothing else. His face was long and narrow, with an overly square chin. Large hands, that ended in large square fingers and nails, nothing like Jillian's. Severus being an observant man knew on a gut level that this was not her father. For the hundredth time he thought that Jillian was most defiantly a Weasley. Fathered by what Weasley now there was the question. Why Hermione wanted everyone else to believe otherwise he could only hazard a guess.
Looking down he was surprised to see Jillian was still awake and staring up at him in fascination.
"You weed a dory?" She asked, in a voice husky from crying.
"Excuse me, I didn't catch that," He said.
"Dory…weed a dory. Peas?" She said pointing to the pile of books on the floor.
"Of course, your wish in my command." Was said in a mocking voice.
"Dood…weed 'Pwin-sess Bride…K…is a dood one." She said leaning over and picking up a worn paperback novel, shunning all the colorful children's books. As Severus opened the pages and began to read to her, he was swept away with her in the story.
Hermione stood just in side the door, not wanting to put an end to what she was witnessing. The image she had of Snape, the great greasy git, the overgrown bat, was forever gone. He sat cuddling her child so gently, lulling her to sleep with his silky voice. Jillian was listening in the intent way she had, watching Severus' face as she twirled a lock of her hair between the fingers of one hand, while rubbing the corner of his cape against her cheek with the other.
She felt a lurch in her stomach or was it in her heart…she wasn't quite sure. "Oh, God…" she thought to herself "This is what I want…A man who can be this gentle…if only he was like this all the time, I could fall in love with a man like this."
When he noticed Hermione, she was standing in the doorway, an odd expression on her face he couldn't quite decipher. He put the book down being careful not to damage the spine, as she walked over and put the sippy-cup in Jillie's pudgy little hands. The baby, whose eyes at half-mast stared up at him, but seemed unconcerned that he had stopped reading.
Hermione handed him a large mug, when he gave her a questioning look she said with a shrug "I thought we would all have a cup. Muggles say that Doctors are notorious for not following their own advice, thought I would if that went for Potion Masters too. Drink up while it's still hot."
He smirked, "Ok, you caught me. Chamomile isn't my favorite tea, but I guess I can force a cup down." Taking a small drink he deciding it tasted better the way she made it, with just a dollop of honey.
After a while he began to read again, the chair smoothly gliding. Finally lulling Jillian into a deep sleep with the comfort of the movement and his voice. Almost embarrassed to feel like he had accomplished a great task.
Thinking that they were both asleep, he put the book down and finished his tepid tea.
Hermione rolled over and opened her sleepy eyes to look at him.
"Fezzik always reminds me of Hagrid," She said a little sadly, pausing she added "and strangely enough I always pictured Indigo to look something like you."
"Well thank you, I think that is the first time a literary character other than Dracula was applied to me." He said with in a sardonic voice.
As if confessing a sin, Hermione said softly, "You know late at night I often wonder if somehow I did this to her." Using her eyes to gesturing at Jillian. "I had a hard time after the war, nightmares almost every night when I was pregnant with her. The fact that I don't get them much anymore, and she has too many…I feel like it's my fault."
"I'm not the best judge, but as far as I can tell, you're doing a wonderful job with her. You don't let her get away with too much, nor are you to too hard on her. The only thing you should worry about is her appalling taste in men." Was his laconic reply.
Hermione looked at him considering before replying softly. "I for one would have never thought that you were just a big softy, Severus Snape."
"Well, just make sure you keep that thought to yourself…we don't want to ruin the image I've worked so hard on." He said, not really knowing how to reply to her.
"Hermione, I had wanted to ask you why you did not stay in collage? I'm not in the habit of handing out letters of recommendation, especially outside of my own house. I felt…and still do feel that you would make a fine Potions Mistress."
"Originally the plan was for me to get a double Masters, but you need four years of collage just to become a Jr. Potions Master. But you need only three to become an Arithmancy Master. I was Professor Vector's assistant the sixth and seventh year, and that counted towards my Arithmancy Masters. I needed to do what was best for Jillian…a full time job, a home…this is what is important now. When she is older I can go back and to collage, I still have time to do all the things that I want to. But raising a baby and living your life using a time turner is no way to raise a child. I did it for little over a year. I went to night school when Jilly was sleeping, then went back with the time turner, sometimes three times a night to get my Masters in a year. I did what needed to be done, so that I could give Jillian the life she deserves. In no time at all she will be a student here…then it will be my time. I can wait till then. Besides I have the library here…and that will be enough…for now."
They sat in silence; the only sound was the heavy breathing of the child in his arms. "You know that I'm not an easy teacher to have…"
"Yes, I remember that quite clearly. And if I had forgotten, today when Miss. Patterson came into my class in tears after attending your class, well…that brought back a lot of memories." She said.
"Yes. Well I thought I would remind you of my teaching methods, before making you this ridiculously unheard of offer. "I could use your assistance, and in return I would be willing to give you advanced tutoring. If you did not know, as a Potions Master any teaching I give you can go towards your Masters. But you will have to still pass the test. But knowing you I don't foresee any problems there."
He waited for her answer, but when none was forthcoming, he looked up. She sat, head cocked to one side, staring at him. So overwhelmed that all she could do was give a small nod of acceptance.
Tearing his eyes away from Hermione's he looked down at the baby, as he shifted her to his shoulder.
"Here let me put her to bed." She said slowly getting up from the couch.
"No, I have her." He said quickly not feeling ready to give up the comfortable weight of her. Then seeing Hermione's curious look added. "The less we move the better, why don't you just show me where to put her?"
Following her down a short hallway, he found himself watching the gentle sway of her hips. Before mentally slapping himself, and staunchly raising his eyes to the back of her head. They went in the second doorway of the three. What had once been Vector's tiny office had now been turned in to Jillies' room. A small bed under a fairy like netting sat in the corner. Severus placed her gently under the covers. Hermione standing next to him gently pushed the little girls copper curls away from her face.
"Sweet dreams baby girl, Mama loves you." She said brushing a kiss over her forehead.
She followed Severus to the front door, Hermione her face serious said. "Jillian may have a truer grasp of your personality then I've had in the past from what I've seen tonight." She said softly before standing on her toes she gently pulling his head down. And as she had done with the baby moments earlier, she brushed a kiss on his forehead.
"Thank you, for everything Severus." She said as she shut the door softly on him.
He stood there for a moment a look of disbelief written plainly on his face. He ran his fingers over the spot she had just kissed. It was the first time in years that anyone other that Albus Dumbledore had dared to touch him, and had not been flayed by his acid tongue.
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Thank you all for your wonderfully kind reviews. I know that I still have a lot to learn about the art of writing, but I will continue to do my best. As my first time fanfic, I know that some of the characters are a bit OOC, but unfortunately they all seem to be stubborn and they do pretty much as they please.
When I first started this story it was to have been terribly tragic and full of angst and a few lemony tidbits. But I don't do angst or lemons very well…so hence the story you have before you. I seem to do sweet and fluffery.
Angel Apple, your review made me blush, thank you so much.
