Chapter 3: Her Demons
The night passed very slowly for San. The thundering kept going and her thoughts of how to sway Ashitaka back to her plagued her mind. At first her thoughts were clear but slowly she began to wonder off. Soon she wasn't thinking of the present situation. Instead she was idly staring at her pendant the Ashitaka had given her long ago. She thought of the times they had together and of the times even before he had come into her life. She missed the old ways. She had been brought up to kill humans but now she lived with them in a very uneasy peace.
'How would mother think about this?' she wondered. And she couldn't really answer that question. San could only remember back to just prior to the major fighting between the forest and Iron Town. It had been raging for a few years before Moro died. Before Ashitaka ended it all. Her memories of the forest were mostly of fleeing until she was old enough and strong enough to fight for her mother. Very few memories that she had were happy and most of those were with Ashitaka during the short time they had spent together.
But now this had happened but San wasn't willing just to let go. Before fighting to save the forest and please Moro had been the driving force in her life. Now Ashitaka was. But he had changed so much in his absence that she wasn't sure who he was any more. That was why she kept her distance from him. She wanted to find out what he had become without asking questions. Questions that she feared might make him leave again and she didn't think she could handle his absence again.
The past year had been slow and almost painful for her. Her days were dreary for the most part as she stayed in the forest with her brothers hunting and sleeping. The cycle continued mostly except when San would make occasional trip into town to see Toki. But now that he was back San felt so much happier. Just being in his presence at night allowed her to sleep peacefully, something she hadn't done in a long time.
But being in bed with him was also very hard. She longed to have the old days back when they would cuddle together at night and share the occasional kiss, lick or soft bite. Now they just lay there with their backs to each other but San was afraid of Ashitaka as well. Afraid of what he had become and if his feelings had changed.
But if something that he needed and that she longed for could solve the problem then she would gladly give herself to him despite all her fears. But she knew nothing about how humans did these sorts of things and only a vague idea as to how the animals in the forest did it.
That made her think back to how Ashitaka had painstakingly made their physical relationship go so slowly way back when. He had done it for her sakeā¦
Deeply consumed in her thoughts San did not notice the distance thundering sounds had stopped not the sun slowly creeping up over the mountains.
Ashitaka finally stopped. Around him was a gaping whole in the forest canopy as the ground showed the remains of trees that were scattered. Several were smoldering as he had struck with such force they had caught ablaze. Several more trees were in chunks floating in the water of the lake and yet Ashitaka smiled. He was hot and sweaty and tired but he was happy for it because these were things he hadn't felt in over 600 years. And he was happy that he had retained his powers though he had wondered briefly if he had lost them for until last night he hadn't tried to use any of them out of concern for the villagers.
And his powers answered some questions. They explained how he had gotten from the furnace to the bed. He had punched a hole through the side of one and had stumbled out before he had lost consciousness. From there the metal had run off him and his horribly burned body had healed itself all in the view of the working shift at the time. That would explain why the villagers were taking extra pains to avoid him and not to talk to him for fear he was something else.
Toki acted like nothing had changed and had told him those old rumors about him and his powers that he had used a year back had resurfaced and now all the new people were afraid of him. Some of the older folks who knew him were uneasy because of the rumors but thought that he was still the same since he didn't display anything unusual during his work in the day. Toki had also asked him why he didn't display his power and he had answered truthfully, he didn't know if he still had them. Disregarding that Toki asked him about his travels and he told her all about them because he knew she would never repeat them to anyone. And who would believe her if she did? His travels as she put them were very far fetched by any standards.
But now that he had confirmed his powers he had to think of a way to slowly break it to San. The rest of the village would just have to take it or leave it but he had to break it softly to San so that she understood and would stop pushing him away. He knew that she love him but he also knew that she was afraid of him at the same time. That was why he had to tell her softly in order not to scare her away.
Ashitaka stood there in his clearing that he had made and laughed. The thought of his San, the Princess Mononoke afraid of anything was laughable and yet she was keeping her distance from him out of cold fear. He would have to warm her up but how? Ashitaka gave a wave and started to walk back to the town. Behind him the trees were all there in one piece and there was no evidence of what had transpired in the little clearing.
