Teddy Bear
Disclaimer : Harry and Draco are completely owned by J.K. Rowling the awesome! I'm just playing with them and after this I'll let them come home safely. And Teddy Bear is Ayumi Hamasaki's song that inspirate me to do this fic.
Summary : When Draco opened his eyes and found nothing except a teddy bear and Harry's gone. Draco's POV
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aikawarazu sono senaka ha
chiisaku tayorinakute
dakedo tanoshii hanashi nara
waraiaete ita
sore nanoni hito ha doushite
onaji you na ayamachi
ato nando kurikaeshitara koukai dekiru no
You weren't always there for me,
But we could laugh together at funny stories
But how can people regret mistakes
That they keep making over and over again?
~Teddy Bear~ Ayumi Hamasaki
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I opened my eyes, feeling warm but empty at the same moment. The morning sunlight gleamed towards the un-curtained glass window against my face and the blankets that covers half of my body. I stared at the empty side next to myself. Empty. So that's why I felt such an emptiness.
I sat slowly. Eyes wandering all around the room, seeking for an answer for my little nasty question. The white sheet of my bed is very neat, and the room was no mess at all. The curtain had opened, letting the sunlight to crept inside the room. But I found no answer. I found no others in my bed room. None. And also my lover.
I remembered suddenly about what you said to me last night. You are going away. So far away that even I couldn't reach. So far away that even you couldn't tell how long will you go. So far that you even don't sure will you be able to come back.
And I didn't pay attention of what you said. I refused to pay attention. Refused to apply the reality, to bear the truth that I don't own yourself anymore. Hoping that you would change your mind if I show my disagreement. Hoping for you to cancel your dangerous way for me.
But I found you didn't. Because you're not here. Because you eventually living. You chose to accept the important mission instead of me. Because you chose to go living me alone. Because you are you. You with your principle to lose against people's necessity and sacrifice yours.
I chuckled for nothing. Chuckled for losing you finally after so long time we were together. Still I remember your last caress on my cheek. Your last stroke on trough my hair soothingly. Your last whisper of those three words of love you've said to me many times before, even though that's the most desperate for me. When the last time you sucked my neck to leave the mark of yours which I wished to last forever. And your kiss upon my lips. Kiss of raw and pain. Kiss of unreachable love. Kiss of grate and regret. Kiss of goodbye.
I understand. Of course, I understand. It doesn't mean I don't know if I say nothing about this. Just as I say, I'm not stupid. That's my consequences for being with you, the most famous wizard in the world. That's my consequences for staying with you without considering your nature to help other people and the possibilities for you to leave me someday. That's my consequences for so badly love you.
You have your own nature. Your own way to think and solve the problem. And I won't say it will be same with me. You're a Gryfinddor and I'm Slytherin. Of course we're completely different. From the way we face the problem, the reality, the truth. From the way we treat another person. From the way we solve our problems. From the way we act among people. From our decision. Your decision to go, and my decision to love you.
And I know I'm selfish. Slytherin like me is selfish, I admit it. I want to own you for my own and let no one touch any parts of you. I want to have you stay with me for the rest of my life and let no one interfere our pure sanctuary. I want no one to interrupt our affection. I want no one to take you away from me.
And no one take you from me. No one else except yourself. You yourself leave me. Leave me with no choice except to wait until the fate let us meet again. Since my heart is already yours and your heart is already mine.
With no tears. No words of goodbye. No memories of separating. Only with hugs, kisses and caress you gave me last night to accompany me before I step inside the door of my dream and fast asleep. Only with that, and woke up in the next morning and found you are no where anymore.
I closed my eyes. I hope I could shed a tear. Only one, I guess it will be fine. At least I could throw away all my indescribable feeling with that small tear. But I couldn't. Somehow I couldn't. A Malfoy aren't supposed to cry. Mostly I'm a guy. Guy should never cries. But now I understand that's not true. That's not true at all. I'm a human even though I'm a guy. I can afford to cry. To let my burden away with those drift of the small stream. But once again, I couldn't cry at all.
And slowly I turned again to the empty side of my bed. Seeing those neat sheet once again. Trying to imagine how will you look like if you still there, laying peacefully instead going for the war with that dark master. It seems real for a moment, but then turns vague and became solid into a tiny shape of a teddy bear. Laying peacefully, like I imagine you would be. Wearing a tiny smile on its lips. Holding a small card written carefully. I love you, Draco.
I know, Harry. I know… I love you too.
I took the teddy bear. Hold it for a few moments before hugged it tightly finally. "Harry…" I heard my mouth whispered as I realized the sheet beneath me is wet by the drops of my tears. I cried eventually. Silently. Raw and desperately. Could only wait for uncertainty, whether I could see you again or only hear the rumors of your death.
I will always love you…
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The End
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A/N: Done! Okay… I don't why I always write angsty things. But well, this story is done. Review me, kay!?
