A Meeting of the Mindless

"I do not believe this," The Leader watched on his monitor. "Not only are those…children communicating with the Hulk they are actually keeping him calm."

"They're playing with him," Gargoyle blinked. "Very interesting. Kind of funny if you think about it. For years everyone's attacked the beast with everything from robots to mutated creatures and these children are actually succeeding by just playing with the Hulk."

"Hmmm," For once the Leader was too engrossed in his own thoughts to insult Gargoyle. "It does make sense if you think about it. The Hulk, while possessing enormous power has limited intelligence. Like a child. And what better way to deal with a child than thinking like a child?"

"Not that surprising. You've always acted like a spoiled brat," Gargoyle grumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I said you should have thought of that," Gargoyle said quickly. "I mean with your superior intelligence and all…"

"Yes well," The Leader looked slightly miffed. "If I had known that all it would have taken to capture the Hulk was to play a game of patty cake maybe I wouldn't have wasted so much time on your failed schemes!"

"My schemes?" Gargoyle yelped.

"Yes your schemes," The Leader snapped. "I want to get a closer look at this." He fiddled with the controls.

"Careful my Leader!" Gargoyle warned him. "You could damage the spy droid!"

"Gargoyle I am a gamma ray enhanced being endowed with superior intelligence," The Leader sniffed. "I mean this large head I have isn't just for show you know! It houses one of the most complex brains on the planet, capable of creating thousands of scientific achievements in moments. I think I can pilot a simple piece of machinery."

Just then the spy droid collided with something else that looked like a fly as well. The screen fizzled and turned into static. "You were saying?" Gargoyle glared at him and folded his arms.

"It's not my fault! I crashed into something!" The Leader snapped. "I think I hit another fly!"

"Let me get this straight," Gargoyle looked at him. "Out of all the huge things in the forest you could have crashed the droid into, you crashed into an insignificant fly? Your piloting skills really are unbelievable!"

"Watch it, lackey!" The Leader made a fist at him. He then turned his attention to the monitor. "Maybe if I change the frequency I can get the picture back."

A picture did come into view, but it was not the Hulk. Instead there were three people at a console on a bizarre console. "Scrap Iron what's going on here?" A man in a metal helmet spoke.

"It appears to be another spy droid Destro," Scrap Iron said.

"What do you mean another spy droid?" The Leader snapped. "What's going on here?"

"That's what I want to know! Who is this?" Cobra Commander hissed.

"I am… The Leader," The Leader pronounced.

"The leader of what?" Cobra Commander asked.

"No just The Leader," The Leader told him. "That's my name."

"Well that's a stupid name," Cobra Commander said.

"It is not a stupid name," The Leader bristled. "It is the perfect name that symbolizes my greatness!"

"Greatness at what? Looking like an oversized broccoli sprout?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"Look who's talking you blue cowled cretin!" The Leader snapped. "Who the devil are you to interfere with my operation?"

"I am Cobra Commander! Supreme Leader of Cobra!"

"And you say my name is stupid?" The Leader chuckled.

"Hey at least with my name you know what I'm the Commander of!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Not some stupid vague title of some pathetic wannabe!"

"Who are you calling a pathetic wannabe you slimy…" The Leader started to sneer.

"Uh my Leader can we get back to the point here?" Gargoyle interrupted. "I'm Gargoyle by the way."

"I'm Scrap Iron and this is Destro," Scrap Iron introduced them.

"Nice to meet you," Gargoyle said.

"Likewise," Destro nodded.

"If you're through with the introductions would you mind keeping your mouth shut?" The Leader snapped.

"It doesn't hurt to be polite you know," Gargoyle told him.

"Why should we be polite to them?" The Leader snapped. "They are interfering with our operation!"

"Your operation?" Cobra Commander snapped. "This is our operation! You're on our turf!"

"Oh really? Then what is this…travesty doing in my lab?" The Leader pointed to the bug spy camera in his hand. "How dare you copy my idea of using a bug spy camera!"

"Your idea?" Gargoyle looked at him.

"This is an outrage!" The Leader bellowed.

"Actually that looks like a pretty sophisticated design," Gargoyle spoke. "What kind of wiring did you use for the video up link?"

"Well I started out with beta aluminum," Scrap Iron spoke. "But I found that the latest digital modem cables size x-3 works best."

"Really?" Gargoyle spoke. "I've got to try that."

"You cabbage headed imbecile!" Cobra Commander hissed. "Do you have any idea who you are addressing?"

"Yes a cowled costumed lunatic who wouldn't know an ingenious plan if it bit him in the butt!" The Leader snapped.

"Who are you to be making comments about a person's fashions?" Cobra Commander snapped. "I'm taking a guess here, you're color blind? No one would purposely wear such a tacky outfit!"

"TACKY?" The Leader snapped. "TACKY!"

"And obviously cheap," Cobra Commander continued. "Did you get your mommy to sew it for you?"

"You take that back you…" The Leader fumed.

"Oh what are you gonna do Cabbage Head? Throw creamed corn at me?"

"You shall suffer for your insolence!" The Leader shouted.

Destro looked at the two men bickering. He then looked at Gargoyle. "All right, since it's obvious that you Gargoyle are the only one there with an IQ higher than a bruised rutabaga would you mind informing us what's going on?"

"We are doing a routine surveillance of the Hulk," Gargoyle told him. "We are trying to capture him in order to create an army of super mutants."

"GARGOYLE YOU SIMPLETON!" The Leader turned away from his argument with Cobra Commander. "DON'T TELL THEM THAT! YOU JUST GAVE AWAY OUR SECRET PLAN!"

"Oh like they probably didn't have the same idea?" Gargoyle told him.

"He has a point," Scrap Iron said. "We did actually. How long have you been doing this?"

"Oh for a few years," Gargoyle told him. "We actually did create one group of soldiers but that really didn't work out so well."

"Don't tell them that you dolt!" The Leader shouted.

"So in other words you're going back to a plan that obviously failed!" Cobra Commander laughed. "What a moron!"

"WHO ARE YOU TO LAUGH AT ME? I AM THE LEADER!"

"The Leader of what?" Cobra Commander snapped. "What exactly are you the leader of?"

"Of me," Gargoyle sighed. "Unfortunately."

"HA!" Cobra Commander laughed. "What a fool! You don't even have your own army!"

"Well I did but they kind of ran off on me, what was left of them," The Leader grumbled.

"I should have gone with them," Gargoyle sighed.

"Let me guess," Destro sighed. "Your 'Leader' is as big an idiot as our Cobra Commander? Am I right?"

"Don't you laugh at me! I've heard a lot about you! I may not have an army as large as yours but at least my failures aren't as big!" The Leader snapped.

"I think maybe mine is a bit bigger," Gargoyle sighed.

"Who are you to judge my past plans? At least I have a better sense of style than you!" Cobra Commander snapped at the Leader.

"Actually I think it's a close race between the two," Destro told Gargoyle.

"Style? You call that orange monstrosity you're wearing style you broccoli headed fool?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"Well at least it's not as tacky as that blueberry outfit you're wearing you snake faced sissy!" The Leader shot back.

"SISSY? SISSY!" Cobra Commander shouted. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THAT!"

"Okay how about I insult you like this?" The Leader made a rude gesture.

"Just out of curiosity you wouldn't happen to have any positions for a mutated ex-Soviet Union scientist willing to do nearly anything in exchange for a cure for his condition would you?" Gargoyle asked.

"Well we could always use fresh talent," Destro shrugged.

"Stay out of my way Serpent Breath!" The Leader shouted.

"You stay out of Cobra's way Cabbage Head!" Cobra Commander snapped. "The Hulk's power will be added to the might of Cobra!"

"The only thing mighty about Cobra is its stench!" The Leader shouted. "Gargoyle cut them off! This conversation is over! So says the Leader!"

"I'll send you my resume," Gargoyle whispered. "Over and out." He shut off the console.

"So this is a race is it?" The Leader paced back and forth. "Well this is a race for the swift of mind as well as foot! And we shall be victorious! So says the Leader!" He stormed out of the cavern.

"Swift of mind? Pah!" Gargoyle grumbled. "I have seen sloths with faster brains than those two fools! Now…where did I put my resume?"

Next: Who will capture the Hulk? Will the Misfits get caught in the middle? Stay tuned to find out!