-=*=-To Austria With Love -=*=-
Chapter II
Neil was marvelous! He listened to all of my complaints and excuses, but he never became angry with me, not even once! I was often ashamed of the way I acted, but he never wavered. He kept telling me I could do anything I set my mind to.
Each evening we'd play waltzes and other music that we would dance to. We played 'On the Beautiful, Blue Danube' and 'The Emperor Waltz' which were popular. Usually we played the latest favorites in Austria. It had only been a few years since they were written. Although Mr. Strauss had passed away in 1899 his music was still very popular in Austria. Neil told me that Dr. Fuchs had known Johann Strauss Jr. personally, so naturally his music would be played at the dance.
Neil could whirl me around effortlessly and with such grace I didn't feel I needed to even know how to waltz to dance with him.
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My daily Bible study with our Pastor's wife, Lisle, continued each day. Monday through Friday afternoon Lisle was here for me. She read to me and then we'd discuss what she'd read. I looked forward to our times together.
During this time of preparation for the dance, Lisle and I were going through the book of I Corinthians in our studies. When we reached Chapter 7 verses 4 and 5 which read: "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again that satan tempt you not for your incontinency."
I stopped her reading, "Lisle what does that mean?" I asked.
"Well, it means…" She cleared her throat. "It's discussing the relationship between a husband and wife. The--intimate--relationship between them. You understand don't you?"
"Yes, of course, but--well--Neil and I have a different relationship then that." I paused. "You see I can't take care of children, you know, being--the way I am--and all. I couldn't even keep track of where they were--"
Lisle was quiet for a moment. "You mean this subject is never broached between the two of you?"
"Neil promised me before we were married that he wouldn't even bring up the subject unless I really wanted children. It's been half a year and I'm still terrified to have *a* child, let alone *children*!!"
"This topic is obvious on your mind or you wouldn't have felt it necessary to bring it up to me just now. Christy, the Bible also says, 'I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.' That's found in Philippians 4:13. And then there is also Philippians 4:19 which states; But my God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.' If the Lord would bless you with a child, He would provide a way to care for it. Whether it is through someone coming to help out or you and Neil find a way to care for the child on your own."
"I know that. But how on earth can strength help me to *see* where my child is or what it's doing?"
"You don't need to *see*, Christy. How do you know where I am if you can't see *me*?"
"That's easy, I'm talking to you and you're talking to me! But babies can't talk."
"But they do make noise Christy." Lisle began. "You can tell where they are better then you realize. When my children were small I didn't always *see* where they were, but I used my ears to keep track of them. I'd say that's how I did it most of the time."
"What about the times when hearing isn't enough?"
"You have other sense on which to rely as well." She paused. "Christy, I'm sure Berta would help you and there are any number of women at the church who would be willing to help. There are people out there you can hire as well."
"But I don't know if we could afford it!"
"This is of course a decision the two of you must make, but I must say I am convinced he must be thinking about this subject, at least occasionally."
"Just the other night in fact." I paused. I didn't want to embarrass Neil. "He's been sleeping downstairs lately--a lot. Don't misunderstand me! He's kind and considerate and I have no doubt he loves me, but I know he's been thinking about 'this'."
"The Bible tells us not to refrain from this because it can cause a husband or a wife to look elsewhere. But there is an exception-- when you both agree to refrain for purposes of 'fasting and prayer', but then you should come together again so you aren't tempted by someone else."
I had to think about this for a while.
"Christy, would you go for a ride with me?" Lisle asked.
"Where?"
"There is someone I want you to meet."
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We drove quite a while before reaching our destination. I could tell we were out in the country somewhere. It smelled so good and the quiet was wonderful!
Lisle led me to the door of a house and knocked.
A woman answered.
Lisle said, "Hello mother! I brought someone to meet you. Mother, this is Christy MacNeill. Christy, this is my mother Mrs. Gustavson."
"Why hello Christy! I've heard so much about you from Lisle!"
"I'm pleased to meet you." I said.
"Come in! Come in!!" Mrs. Gustavson called out to us.
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Visiting with Lisle's mother was remarkable. It wasn't until she had told me of her life and raising her family of ten children that Lisle informed me her mother had been blind since birth. I was dumbfounded. How could someone raise that many children while blind? She said she had put a small bell on her first child to always tell where he was. And she would pin it to his back so he couldn't stop the noise or remove it. She had depended upon her husband plus the kindness and generosity of others. There had been people who insisted on helping her even when she was adamant she did not need any help. Though she would not admit it, she told me, these people realized she needed help. Eventually it was gladly accepted and she learned to appreciate it more then she had ever been able to articulate to the people who aided her most.
By the time she had her third child, the oldest could help her keep the littler ones out of trouble. I was so impressed with this woman.
"What about diseases and things?" I asked.
"I learned just like any other mother does how to deal with emergencies." Mrs. Gustavson reassured me.
"Besides," Lisle began. "You're married to a physician, Christy. You have help in that area already."
I sighed. They were right even though I knew how often Neil was not at home.
"Mrs. MacNeill-- I've never had my eyesight so I don't know what I'm missing. But I do know this much, whether you're blind or sighted, you have to set your mind to do something before you can accomplish anything! *You* can do anything if you really want to! You just have to want it badly enough to work for it. You and your husband need to sit down and discuss this matter together. It is not a decision to be made between us here and now, nor is it a decision which you should make all on your own, it must be a mutual agreement between the two of you. Your husband may have fears about this which he has not told you of either, and they should be considered as well. Don't rush into anything hastily, my dear. This is a decision which will affect the rest of your lives."
Boy, that struck me. So often I wanted to take the easy way out of situations. Though I had stuck it out in the Cove--eventually. There had been a time when I was ready to turn in my school bell and quit. Miss Alice had convinced me to remain with the speech she had given me--and my heartfelt prayer where I had promised God that whatever He wanted me to do, or wherever He wanted me to be, I would do it. What I needed to do now was set my resolve for what Neil or I needed, but that would have to wait until we had made a decision--one way or the other.
Lisle and her mother had given me a lot to think about this afternoon. I had told myself when Neil and I were to be engaged the first time, that I would leave the decision of children up to God. Here I was for over six months after actually having marryied Neil, still trying to take matters into my own hands! If I were leaving the decision for children in God's hands then the Bible verses I heard from Lisle would not have sounded so foreign to me in this context. But they were also correct. I must speak to Neil about this situation. It was most definitely a decision which we must make together.
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I was silent on the ride home. There were too many things streaming through my mind. I had to speak with Neil before I made any decision. I wanted God's Will for my life--for *our* life. But the more I thought, the more I began to realize that what the Bible says *is* God's will and I should do what it tells me to do-- Shouldn't I?
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End of Chapter 2.
Chapter 3 Coming Soon!!
