Chap 3
I stir, I can feel the soft mattress beneath my body and I know I am in Angel's room. I can just smell him. Now I can smell him? Ew, I'm getting as bad as he is with the scent thing.
I stand slowly and wait for the room to stop spinning and my stomach to stop lurching as if I was on a roller coaster. I start to walk down the corridor and I instantly recognise the décor from my dreams. But this corridor was on a different level.
At the end of the corridor there was a long winding staircase and from where I was stood I could hear voices floating towards me from downstairs. Slowly I leaned over the banister, hidden by a concrete pillar that rose from the ground.
"You're too weak to take me." An unfamiliar voice drifts from Angel's office.
"You really think that?" Angel sounds serious. I creep a little closer, taking one step at a time and gripping the banister for fear of falling. My head is still spinning from the blood loss.
"So - how was your summer? Mine was fun. Saw some fish. Went mad with hunger. Hallucinated a whole bunch." This hurt more than I could imagine. Just to think that I could have stopped this if I had been here earlier.
"You deserved worse." At those words I feel my fists clench. What kind of a bastard is Angel talking to?
The conversation continues and I listen intently to it. Holtz? Who is Holtz? The next line really interests me.
I hear chairs moving and then a body being thrown against the wall. "Daddy's not finished talking." Angel has now come up with a pet name, cute. Defiantly something I thought he wouldn't do.
******
My Son. My bastard of a son locked me in a steel crate and sent me to the bottom of the Ocean. One thing was on my mind now. Although I no longer loved Cordelia, I care for her as if she was part of my family.
"Wesley told me everything that's been going on. So, as far as I'm concerned what you *deserve* rests on one answer" I lean in closer to Conner, my face almost touching his own, I can almost smell the fear "Did you do something to Cordelia?"
Images were flying through my head. If this is what he has done to me, imagine what he has done to Cordelia.
He looks me in the eye and says "No" and instantly I can see the truth buried deep inside past the evil and hatred. I ignore the snide comments made by Gunn and Fred and tell my son I love him but he has to go, he has to get out of my house.
Once he has disappeared from my view I turn and look at the base of the stair where I see you stood, mouth open in a look of shock.
"Buffy you all right?" Fred is quickly at her side and I see the look of bafflement cross your face.
"Yeah, I think."
"We need to talk." It's got to be done.
"Seems like we do." You sigh and give a little wobble, catching yourself against the banister. I start to run towards you but Gunn reaches you first and signals me to sit down.
"You've done enough today, rest." He was right and I knew it. My legs gave way and I found a comfortable seat beneath me.
******
It wasn't long before I awoke and found you at my side. Your hunched form leaning forward over your body in your usual brooding manner.
"Hey." I mutter sitting up slightly in your warm bed.
"Hey." Instantly you look at me, concern fills your dark pools for eyes.
"I'm okay." I interrupt before you start asking questions. "You want to tell me about this boy then?" I look down and start fiddling with the edge of the quilt.
"Conner." You sigh I can I see how much it hurts just to say his name. "He's my son Buffy"
Instantly I burst out laughing. How hysterical is that! Angel's got a son; wow he really is a good actor too, look at him looking at me with confusion on his face.
"Nice one Angel, you really had me going for a second."
Confusion continues to remain across his face and then suddenly it darkens and he becomes more serious.
"Your not joking are you." My eyes fly open in shock.
"No - "
"How? What? Why? When? He looks about 19 Angel, when did you plan on telling me about him? You certainly didn't mention him when we were together in Sunnydale! I can't believe you've lied to me all this time!"
"Well if you let me - "
"I thought vampires couldn't have children anyway!"
"Buff-"
"So who is SHE then? Tell me!"
"BUFFY LISTEN TO ME!" He roared with anger, which caused me to sink deeper into the bed.
"Ok, jeez." I mutter under my breath.
"He was only born a few months ago." I made a look to protest but he glared back which instantly made me silent. "I had sex with Darla and for some strange incomprehensible reason, we got a son out of it."
"So where is that bitch now then"
"Dead."
"Again?"
"Yes, again." He sighs. "Conner was kidnapped from me and taken to another dimension."
"Time difference huh?"
"Yea you could say that"
"And now he has come back to kill his father?"
"Well not kill. More like torture."
"Oh."
******
I don't know what to say to you to make it better. I know this must be hurting more than I could imagine. All I want to do is reach out and hold you but I can see your anger as clear as day.
I reach out to place my hand upon yours. "Don't touch me." You flinch away and I watch as a silent tear creeps down your cheek.
"Buffy, it meant nothing."
"But you still did though didn't you. You still had sex with Darla." Hang on a second. We aren't even together!
"We weren't together Buffy." I try to say it quietly.
"What a way to kick me when I'm down." You glare in response. "So who put Angelus back in his place then? Wesley? Gunn? Cordelia?"
"He didn't appear. It wasn't perfect happiness Buffy. I only ever had that with you."
"Still isn't making it any better though is it Angel."
"Why are you so mad at me? You saying you never had sex with Riley?" I'm getting angry now. What gives her the right to have a go at me?
A silence fills the room as I await an answer. "Fine, I see your point but still Angel, you have a son."
"And you moved on!"
We have proper tears now. Great droplets start to cascade down her smooth skin. Please let me hold you; please let me take away the pain.
"Leave." Your voice was quiet but stern. I knew you meant it.
"No Buffy, not until we have sorted this out."
"Fine, then I'll leave." You pull back the covers and swing your legs out of the side of the bed, you make a move to stand but I rise out of my chair, blocking you from leaving.
"You're not leaving either." My voice sounds bitter although I don't mean it to.
"Get out of my way." You tell me through gritted teeth.
"No Buffy."
Your stood so close to me, it would be so easy for me to reach and kiss you but I won't, I can't.
You place a hand on my chest and push forcefully but still I stand my ground, not letting you pass me. The hand turns into a fist and is soon joined by the other as you start to pummel my chest. Luckily for me, you're only doing it half heartedly.
Tears start again, as I feel you grow weaker and your punches become less frequent. I take the risk. It's now or never.
I lift my arms around you and bring your body into mine, holding you as close as humanly possible. At first I feel the tension whiz through your body but I continue to hold you until finally you relax in my embrace. Your small hands grip the front of my shirt and you bury your head in my chest and the crying continues. I look upwards at the ceiling and will my eyes not to deceive me and let my own pain flow down onto my pale skin.
I rub your back and mutter small words of comfort although I know you can either not hear me or you have no wish to listen to what I have to say anymore. Your body feels so warm against mine and I want this moment to last forever, so I can forever hold you in my arms and protect you from the harsh world outside.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
I stir, I can feel the soft mattress beneath my body and I know I am in Angel's room. I can just smell him. Now I can smell him? Ew, I'm getting as bad as he is with the scent thing.
I stand slowly and wait for the room to stop spinning and my stomach to stop lurching as if I was on a roller coaster. I start to walk down the corridor and I instantly recognise the décor from my dreams. But this corridor was on a different level.
At the end of the corridor there was a long winding staircase and from where I was stood I could hear voices floating towards me from downstairs. Slowly I leaned over the banister, hidden by a concrete pillar that rose from the ground.
"You're too weak to take me." An unfamiliar voice drifts from Angel's office.
"You really think that?" Angel sounds serious. I creep a little closer, taking one step at a time and gripping the banister for fear of falling. My head is still spinning from the blood loss.
"So - how was your summer? Mine was fun. Saw some fish. Went mad with hunger. Hallucinated a whole bunch." This hurt more than I could imagine. Just to think that I could have stopped this if I had been here earlier.
"You deserved worse." At those words I feel my fists clench. What kind of a bastard is Angel talking to?
The conversation continues and I listen intently to it. Holtz? Who is Holtz? The next line really interests me.
I hear chairs moving and then a body being thrown against the wall. "Daddy's not finished talking." Angel has now come up with a pet name, cute. Defiantly something I thought he wouldn't do.
******
My Son. My bastard of a son locked me in a steel crate and sent me to the bottom of the Ocean. One thing was on my mind now. Although I no longer loved Cordelia, I care for her as if she was part of my family.
"Wesley told me everything that's been going on. So, as far as I'm concerned what you *deserve* rests on one answer" I lean in closer to Conner, my face almost touching his own, I can almost smell the fear "Did you do something to Cordelia?"
Images were flying through my head. If this is what he has done to me, imagine what he has done to Cordelia.
He looks me in the eye and says "No" and instantly I can see the truth buried deep inside past the evil and hatred. I ignore the snide comments made by Gunn and Fred and tell my son I love him but he has to go, he has to get out of my house.
Once he has disappeared from my view I turn and look at the base of the stair where I see you stood, mouth open in a look of shock.
"Buffy you all right?" Fred is quickly at her side and I see the look of bafflement cross your face.
"Yeah, I think."
"We need to talk." It's got to be done.
"Seems like we do." You sigh and give a little wobble, catching yourself against the banister. I start to run towards you but Gunn reaches you first and signals me to sit down.
"You've done enough today, rest." He was right and I knew it. My legs gave way and I found a comfortable seat beneath me.
******
It wasn't long before I awoke and found you at my side. Your hunched form leaning forward over your body in your usual brooding manner.
"Hey." I mutter sitting up slightly in your warm bed.
"Hey." Instantly you look at me, concern fills your dark pools for eyes.
"I'm okay." I interrupt before you start asking questions. "You want to tell me about this boy then?" I look down and start fiddling with the edge of the quilt.
"Conner." You sigh I can I see how much it hurts just to say his name. "He's my son Buffy"
Instantly I burst out laughing. How hysterical is that! Angel's got a son; wow he really is a good actor too, look at him looking at me with confusion on his face.
"Nice one Angel, you really had me going for a second."
Confusion continues to remain across his face and then suddenly it darkens and he becomes more serious.
"Your not joking are you." My eyes fly open in shock.
"No - "
"How? What? Why? When? He looks about 19 Angel, when did you plan on telling me about him? You certainly didn't mention him when we were together in Sunnydale! I can't believe you've lied to me all this time!"
"Well if you let me - "
"I thought vampires couldn't have children anyway!"
"Buff-"
"So who is SHE then? Tell me!"
"BUFFY LISTEN TO ME!" He roared with anger, which caused me to sink deeper into the bed.
"Ok, jeez." I mutter under my breath.
"He was only born a few months ago." I made a look to protest but he glared back which instantly made me silent. "I had sex with Darla and for some strange incomprehensible reason, we got a son out of it."
"So where is that bitch now then"
"Dead."
"Again?"
"Yes, again." He sighs. "Conner was kidnapped from me and taken to another dimension."
"Time difference huh?"
"Yea you could say that"
"And now he has come back to kill his father?"
"Well not kill. More like torture."
"Oh."
******
I don't know what to say to you to make it better. I know this must be hurting more than I could imagine. All I want to do is reach out and hold you but I can see your anger as clear as day.
I reach out to place my hand upon yours. "Don't touch me." You flinch away and I watch as a silent tear creeps down your cheek.
"Buffy, it meant nothing."
"But you still did though didn't you. You still had sex with Darla." Hang on a second. We aren't even together!
"We weren't together Buffy." I try to say it quietly.
"What a way to kick me when I'm down." You glare in response. "So who put Angelus back in his place then? Wesley? Gunn? Cordelia?"
"He didn't appear. It wasn't perfect happiness Buffy. I only ever had that with you."
"Still isn't making it any better though is it Angel."
"Why are you so mad at me? You saying you never had sex with Riley?" I'm getting angry now. What gives her the right to have a go at me?
A silence fills the room as I await an answer. "Fine, I see your point but still Angel, you have a son."
"And you moved on!"
We have proper tears now. Great droplets start to cascade down her smooth skin. Please let me hold you; please let me take away the pain.
"Leave." Your voice was quiet but stern. I knew you meant it.
"No Buffy, not until we have sorted this out."
"Fine, then I'll leave." You pull back the covers and swing your legs out of the side of the bed, you make a move to stand but I rise out of my chair, blocking you from leaving.
"You're not leaving either." My voice sounds bitter although I don't mean it to.
"Get out of my way." You tell me through gritted teeth.
"No Buffy."
Your stood so close to me, it would be so easy for me to reach and kiss you but I won't, I can't.
You place a hand on my chest and push forcefully but still I stand my ground, not letting you pass me. The hand turns into a fist and is soon joined by the other as you start to pummel my chest. Luckily for me, you're only doing it half heartedly.
Tears start again, as I feel you grow weaker and your punches become less frequent. I take the risk. It's now or never.
I lift my arms around you and bring your body into mine, holding you as close as humanly possible. At first I feel the tension whiz through your body but I continue to hold you until finally you relax in my embrace. Your small hands grip the front of my shirt and you bury your head in my chest and the crying continues. I look upwards at the ceiling and will my eyes not to deceive me and let my own pain flow down onto my pale skin.
I rub your back and mutter small words of comfort although I know you can either not hear me or you have no wish to listen to what I have to say anymore. Your body feels so warm against mine and I want this moment to last forever, so I can forever hold you in my arms and protect you from the harsh world outside.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
