Authors note: Sorry guys! It been a while huh? Well I been on holiday and
been thinking things through and I'm digging myself yet more holes that I
won't be able to struggle out of but hey! What's new! Anyway, I hope you
like this update!
Here goes.
Chap 4
It seemed like hours had passed yet still I clung to him as if, if I'd let him go, I'd plunge into a dark emptiness for eternity. His hand rested in the centre of my lower back and seemed to emit a calming heat through my body, ironic as it might seem. Here he was, my Angel, stood before me, his powerful arms encircling me and protecting me from the world. My tears subsided and all I could hear was the quiet hiss of comfort that Angel tried to re-assure me with. I took this time to think things through. Angel had a son? Darla had tried to change him back to Angelus? More to the point, he had had sex with Darla? This caused more surges of pain and sadness and my whole body tensed to counter-act yet more tears that threatened to repeat their journey down my face.
I could tell he felt the tension as he pulled me closer and rubbed his hand more forcefully up and down my back. How does he know what to do when I feel so. Upset? Over 200 years of practice I suppose.
So now I take time to revel in this embrace. I breathe in deeply and smell that familiar Angel smell that is unique to him, that smell of outdoors and protectiveness that I always smell when he is nearby. Then there is him. His muscles that ripple under my touch, his powerful shoulders and fierce yet angelic face. Then there's his eyes. Those powerful dark orbs that make you melt with just one look. They seem to flash with concern and glitter with worry and old love that I could still see. I stress on the "old" part though. What should I expect? I mean he has slept with Darla. He'd moved on, just like I have.
Or have I?
******
And so the sobs subside and quietly I thank god. The pain of hearing her tears is unbearable and all I can do is try to soothe the pain so maybe mine can fade. How could I ever think that I could love anyone other than this beautiful creature that I hold in my arms? It hurts so badly to be this close to her, my slayer, that I want to lay down and die. To be touching her body with my own takes all my self control to stop me kissing her, stop me wanting her. Most nights I dream of this moment to once again be close to Buffy. I'd imagine different ways of us meeting.
My favourite used to be me stepping out into the sunlight and watching as her face turns from pure horror to complete happiness as she runs towards me and kisses me like on that dreaded day. But all good things come to an end for then as our lips met, I'd hear an ear-splitting shriek and drop to my knees in agony, glancing up to see my love fading away before my eyes and I can do nothing to prevent it.
It had to be said, I had never thought of us meeting like this and I never had intended for her to find out about my son this way. But still, deep down, I welcomed it. Even though now pain burned throughout my body and need grew stronger inside a strange calm seemed to relax my muscles as I felt her body against mine. A dangerous calm.
I breathed in the sweet smell of her hair and brought the hand that I had rested on her back and placed it at the back of her head, allowing her hair to flow through my fingers like golden silk strands. This instantly made her look at me due to the sudden movement and just by looking at her I could tell I was forgive. For now anyway.
I smile down at her and pray to get a similar response and luckily for me a flicker of warmth enters her eyes and a smile spreads across her face. My heart jolts and suddenly I feel an uncanny yet magnetic pull forcing my body down towards hers. I feel her arms move from my back and wrap themselves lazily around my neck and I take a moment to stare into her hazel eyes. Suddenly her lips become the centre of my attention and unconsciously I lick my own almost in anticipation. Next thing I know, my lips are but inches away from hers, our noses are almost touching and I can feel her warm breathe against my cheek. God, I've waited so long for this, just a few inches closer and I can once more remember that delicious taste and texture that is only hers.
*Knock, Knock*
I curse inwardly as we both pull apart and for once I am glad I am dead as I watch Buffy start to blush profusely.
"What is it?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"Uh, I thought Buffy maybe hungry and we've ordered some pizza in if she wants some?" Came the small hesitant answer that could only mean it was Fred. Although I knew she was trying to help I could help but feel a slight bit of hatred for her at this moment for if it weren't for her, Buffy and I may be kissing right now.
"I'll be down in a sec." Buffy answers, her eyes struggling not to look at me.
******
What had just happened? Had Angel and I been incredibly close to kissing? Yep we had and if it weren't for Fred, we'd probably be kissing right now. Well then, thank god for Fred! Cause me and Angel kissing is defiantly not a good combination. I mean kissing will lead to the wanting more, which will lead to the soul issue, which will eventually lead to heartbreak and disaster. Either way I'll end up having to back off and leave once more or BOOM! Angelus will appear and ravage this world once more. Both things are not what I want to be doing right now.
So I take one last heartbreaking look at Angel and decide that I am hungry and that this would be a good time to break for a snack. Jesus, if that is going to happen again, I think I should build a brick wall between us and yell through it. I know I want him more than anything in the world, but I can't stand the unbearable pain that he puts me through. I can't take the pain any longer.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
Here goes.
Chap 4
It seemed like hours had passed yet still I clung to him as if, if I'd let him go, I'd plunge into a dark emptiness for eternity. His hand rested in the centre of my lower back and seemed to emit a calming heat through my body, ironic as it might seem. Here he was, my Angel, stood before me, his powerful arms encircling me and protecting me from the world. My tears subsided and all I could hear was the quiet hiss of comfort that Angel tried to re-assure me with. I took this time to think things through. Angel had a son? Darla had tried to change him back to Angelus? More to the point, he had had sex with Darla? This caused more surges of pain and sadness and my whole body tensed to counter-act yet more tears that threatened to repeat their journey down my face.
I could tell he felt the tension as he pulled me closer and rubbed his hand more forcefully up and down my back. How does he know what to do when I feel so. Upset? Over 200 years of practice I suppose.
So now I take time to revel in this embrace. I breathe in deeply and smell that familiar Angel smell that is unique to him, that smell of outdoors and protectiveness that I always smell when he is nearby. Then there is him. His muscles that ripple under my touch, his powerful shoulders and fierce yet angelic face. Then there's his eyes. Those powerful dark orbs that make you melt with just one look. They seem to flash with concern and glitter with worry and old love that I could still see. I stress on the "old" part though. What should I expect? I mean he has slept with Darla. He'd moved on, just like I have.
Or have I?
******
And so the sobs subside and quietly I thank god. The pain of hearing her tears is unbearable and all I can do is try to soothe the pain so maybe mine can fade. How could I ever think that I could love anyone other than this beautiful creature that I hold in my arms? It hurts so badly to be this close to her, my slayer, that I want to lay down and die. To be touching her body with my own takes all my self control to stop me kissing her, stop me wanting her. Most nights I dream of this moment to once again be close to Buffy. I'd imagine different ways of us meeting.
My favourite used to be me stepping out into the sunlight and watching as her face turns from pure horror to complete happiness as she runs towards me and kisses me like on that dreaded day. But all good things come to an end for then as our lips met, I'd hear an ear-splitting shriek and drop to my knees in agony, glancing up to see my love fading away before my eyes and I can do nothing to prevent it.
It had to be said, I had never thought of us meeting like this and I never had intended for her to find out about my son this way. But still, deep down, I welcomed it. Even though now pain burned throughout my body and need grew stronger inside a strange calm seemed to relax my muscles as I felt her body against mine. A dangerous calm.
I breathed in the sweet smell of her hair and brought the hand that I had rested on her back and placed it at the back of her head, allowing her hair to flow through my fingers like golden silk strands. This instantly made her look at me due to the sudden movement and just by looking at her I could tell I was forgive. For now anyway.
I smile down at her and pray to get a similar response and luckily for me a flicker of warmth enters her eyes and a smile spreads across her face. My heart jolts and suddenly I feel an uncanny yet magnetic pull forcing my body down towards hers. I feel her arms move from my back and wrap themselves lazily around my neck and I take a moment to stare into her hazel eyes. Suddenly her lips become the centre of my attention and unconsciously I lick my own almost in anticipation. Next thing I know, my lips are but inches away from hers, our noses are almost touching and I can feel her warm breathe against my cheek. God, I've waited so long for this, just a few inches closer and I can once more remember that delicious taste and texture that is only hers.
*Knock, Knock*
I curse inwardly as we both pull apart and for once I am glad I am dead as I watch Buffy start to blush profusely.
"What is it?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"Uh, I thought Buffy maybe hungry and we've ordered some pizza in if she wants some?" Came the small hesitant answer that could only mean it was Fred. Although I knew she was trying to help I could help but feel a slight bit of hatred for her at this moment for if it weren't for her, Buffy and I may be kissing right now.
"I'll be down in a sec." Buffy answers, her eyes struggling not to look at me.
******
What had just happened? Had Angel and I been incredibly close to kissing? Yep we had and if it weren't for Fred, we'd probably be kissing right now. Well then, thank god for Fred! Cause me and Angel kissing is defiantly not a good combination. I mean kissing will lead to the wanting more, which will lead to the soul issue, which will eventually lead to heartbreak and disaster. Either way I'll end up having to back off and leave once more or BOOM! Angelus will appear and ravage this world once more. Both things are not what I want to be doing right now.
So I take one last heartbreaking look at Angel and decide that I am hungry and that this would be a good time to break for a snack. Jesus, if that is going to happen again, I think I should build a brick wall between us and yell through it. I know I want him more than anything in the world, but I can't stand the unbearable pain that he puts me through. I can't take the pain any longer.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
