"Seattle Life"
Episode Three
Disclaimer: I don't own Seattle, Kinokuniya Bookstore, Yu Yu Hakusho, Finding Nemo, Rurouni Kenshin, Shaman King, Courage the Cowardly Dog (blame my brother for Cartoon Network's crappier beatings, all right!) Bugs Bunny, Tenchi Muyo, a lottery of any kind, Dragon Gurl (my little sister), Yami Yoshi (my little brother), Star Wars, Terminator 3, Signs, Pokemon or Pike Place Market. I do own Tenki, the chocolate covered rice balls, the name of the store, the name of Yusuke's store (soon to be) and the book of manga talked about in the beginning. Thank you.
** Tenki: Hey, ya peeps! I've returned with another chapter of Seattle Life.
Kurama: It's not all that bad living in that city.
Kuwabara Seagull: Mine! Mine!
Yusuke: Hey, he's looking at a picture of Yukina.
Tenki: I appriciate the reveiws, my fans and readers or audience. live studio audience? How's that? Anyone want to join that? Review!
Hiei: We're not on a stage, are we?
Kurama: (holding scull like a poet) All the world's a stage, Hiei! You have to live like your acting or you'll fall into the pits of despair!!
Tenki: (watches intently) FREE DRAMA! WOW! Hey. was the disclaimer done, you guys?
Hiei: Shizuru painted it on a sign. (points at disclaimer) See? Those who are reading can see it.
Tenki: Well, let's get started shall we? ROLL FICCY!!
** Seattle life theme song plays ** YYH annoucer: Kuwabara now under a curse and Kurama meeting a new friend, what shall become of them? Yusuke is jobless and Hiei is now in Kinokuniya. Now with the insanity that Tenki has put me through.
Tenki: HEY IT'S NOT INSANITY! DO IT!
YYH annoucer: Right. (sigh) find out on today's episode!
(Episode thing from YYH shows up. In glittery transformation like thingy it does, out comes the words: "Money for Living". Screen goes to the first scene)
Kurama: (sitting in his shop) All right, let's see. roses, daisies, tulips, lavender, hmm. (he's taking inventory)
Tenki: AHA! (boils rice in a huge pot) I FOUND IT!!!
Kurama: (looks up to see Tenki in her shop rummaging through ingridents to make some chocolate goodies) I'm glad she's in a better mood today.
Yusuke: (runs in Kurama's shop) Hey, Kurama! I'm starting a shop!! I got permission to have it right there! (points at empty place right in front of Kurama's shop mentioned last chapter) I'll finally be able to get a place to live!!
Kurama: What will you sell?
Yusuke: Well. (points to a coming curtain that's going to show a flashback)
**Flashback**
Leader Guy of Group: Yes, you're Yusuke Urameshi, right? And you want to start a "Beatings for Hire Shop"?
Yusuke: Yeah.
Swabbie Guy of Group 1: Well, we here are against violence.
Yusuke: Tough shit, people. It's good money.
Leader Guy: Is your name Guy Fokker?
Yusuke: NO!
Swabbie Guy of Group 2: YOU SMELL LIKE HIM!
Yusuke: damn! I love Keiko! (pulls out picture of Keiko from random place) SEE?
Leader Guy: oh all right. (pouts silently thinking about wiggling man boobs) Well, all right. We need proof you can do it.
Yusuke: All right. Hire me to beat someone up.
Leader Guy: I'll give you $2000 to beat up Bakken!
Swabbie Guy of group 2/Bakken: AHHHH!
Yusuke: cool! AGAIN! (beats him up and gets $2000)
Leader Guy: All right! Die BAKKEN!
Bakken: SHUT UP SUZUKA!
Yusuke: GENKAI KICKED YOUR ASS!
Suzuka: Yes. And to take revenge, I will use you as bait!
Yusuke: she's dead, fruit cake.
Bakken: He told you!!
Kurama: This flashback is pointless.
Yusuke: Go back to your time, Kurama.
Kurama: Okay, fine speed up to the end!
(Time passes a lot faster as you see in fast forward Kurama leave, Yusuke shout and beat up Suzuka and Bakken again while taking the keys and papers to the place he's going to go, then it goes back to play mode)
Yusuke: All right! I HAVE A JOB!
**end flashback**
Kurama: That was a little long.
Yusuke: Sorry, but that's what I've got.
Tenki: (walks over) Hey, guys. (smiles) Want lunch? I'll give you a discount. ^_~!!
Yusuke: Hey, it's a pretty girl. why don't we wait until after we get in touch with everyone before we make plans?
Tenki: Okay!! How many people do you want to bring?
Kurama: There will be four of us, Tenki.
Yusuke: did you find yourself a girlfriend, Kurama?
Tenki: (blush) no. we aren't going to have a relationship. we just met recently, umm.
Yusuke: My name's Yusuke.
Tenki: I'll go over and sit in my shop now. (slowly goes back over with depressed look on her face)
(Meanwhile, Hiei was.)
Hiei: Oh my god. heaven.
Fan Girls: (hidden behind manga racks) Hee hee hee. now we know how to trap him. MUAHAHAHA!
Customer 1: What was that?
Hiei: Hn. You're hearing noises, pathetic swine. (walks up to the counter) Konnichiwa, watashi no namae wa Hiei desu. (A/N: in english it's Hello, my name is Hiei.)
Clerk: (Japanese accent) I speak english, Hiei.
Hiei: Oh. I am looking for a carrier involving manga. and.
Clerk: You wanna work here? Knowing Japanese is a good quality here. Do you know Chinese?
Hiei: .nihow. washur Hiei. (english: Hello. I am Hiei)
Clerk: (estatic) Cool! You're hired! (gives him uniform) You will work from 10 am till closing, does that bother you?
Hiei: No, not at all.
Clerk: all days but Sunday. We're open Sunday, but you'll get it off, okay?
Hiei: That's fine with me, I have no problems with it. I want to work with exclusively manga though.
Clerk: Fine, your nickname will be Manga-kun!
Hiei: (gets starry eyed and happy) my nickname will be the grace of god.
Clerk: Uhh, okay.
(with Kuwabara)
Kuwabara Seagull: Miiiiine!!
Voice: shut the hell up, Seagull! Go find you're true love and break the curse!
Kuwabara Seagull: Mine! Mine! (opens wings and starts to fly up to his apartment window) MINE! MINE! MINE!
Voice: stupid creatures.
Kuwabara Seagull: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!
(back to Tenki)
Tenki: (sigh again, singing Rurouni Kenshin end theme song) "Hi tao ni de wa." (stirs rice in pot)
Customer 2: (walks in) Hello.
Tenki: Oh! Hey. is that you. Jin?
Jin: Yeah, that's me all right, Miss Tenki. (smiles) What 're you up to now that you left Japan and all.
Tenki: I wanted to start a real resturant, but all I got was this. Jin, I feel kinda helpless since Mr. Potato didn't help me like he said he would.
Jin: Then the liar wants a beatin' from ol' me, does he? I'll give him a good spin with my Tornado fist, that I will! You 'erd from Touya lately?
Tenki: Nah. Other than you, Jin, none of the shinobi ever keep in touch. I heard from Chu though. He's making it big as a rock star in Europe!
Jin: Sounds like somethin' he'd do. I missed ya. Where you been staying?
Tenki: I can't tell you.
Kurama: (is in his shop but can hear everything. unintentionally of course. We know that Kurama wouldn't listen in like that)
Jin: Don't tell me that they kicked you out since Potato did that to you.
Tenki: I don't want to have anyone overhear about my troubles here in the city. I just wanna go home to Japan where I was all right and I could've made a lot of money making manga.
Jin: You made manga?
Tenki: It's my real and true passion. See? (holds up a book of manga A/N: this is really MY manga, and I've really made it and everything! Just all I have to do is publish it!) I call it "Shi no Ai". "Death's Love"! It's based on the man that I wish that I could really have. ...Smart, handsome, witty, and gentle. what do you think?
Jin: It's really a wonder how we got together in the first place, Tenki. I can't remember how we met. the Shinobi group really took a liking to you and your cooking. (starts to fiddle with a lock of her hair) Tenki. let me take care of ya, I can do it.
Tenki: No, Jin. I won't go back to that life that I led when living with you Shinobi! You're like my brother. I'd rather stay living in this pathetic shop like this instead of making you.
Jin: I want to take care of ya. Tenki.
Tenki: NO! (shoos him out of the shop) Shoo go on, get out! I don't need you here and trying to take me into the life I left Japan to forget! (walks back in, but looks up at a picture on the wall. There is a picture of Tenki, Jin, Touya, Chu, and a mysterious younger boy together) I miss my family.
Yusuke: (stands in his shop) Hey, Tenki! What was Jin doing in your shop? Do you know him?
Tenki: Why do you wanna know Yusuke? Do you want a job?
Yusuke: Oh?
Tenki: All right, I'll give you $10 to beat up Jin.
Yusuke: that's it?
Tenki: Be that way. (starts to sing Shaman King's opening theme song but is interrupted by a call on the phone)
Phone: RING RING DAMMIT RING!
Tenki: (picks it up) Hello?
Voice on the line: Tenki, I was wondering if you still make those wonderful chocolate covered rice balls?
Tenki: Still homemade, and yes I do. How can I help you?
Voice on the line: I wanna order 10 rice balls.
Tenki: When will you pick them up?
Voice on the line: Today at 3:30, is that all right?
Tenki: Yeah, but I need your name.
Voice on the line: I'm with Kinokuniya Bookstore!
Tenki: .is that. HIEI?
Fangirls: (randomly appear in store) We wanna hear his voice!!
Tenki: Fine, Hiei. Pick them up. That will be $30, I hope you know!!
Hiei: Okay.
Tenki: (hangs up. The dissapointed fangirls leave)
Yusuke: Wonder what Kuwabara's doing?
(and still yet, with Kuwabara)
Kuwabara Seagull: MINE! MINE! (is still trying to get in the window) MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!! (thinks) I'm gonna be fired!
(with Kuwabara's boss)
Kuwabara's boss: (very angry) Where is that stupid %^&*(^$#@#$%^*&^%$##$%^&**&^$##$%^&#$%^&&%@#$%^&^?!?!?!?!?!?! He's FIRED!!
(back with Kurama)
TV in shop down the hall: (commercial) Play the lottery and win! (end commercial)
Kurama: Lottery?
Customer 3: (walks in Kurama's shop) Oh my god!! It's really you!!
Kurama: Good morning, Miss. How can I help you?
Customer 3: You're. Suiichi! Kurama!
Kurama: Yes. Can I help you?
Customer 3: Does it cost to get an autograph from you?
Kurama: Autograph? I don't get it, but. (pulls out a napkin and signs it) I hope that this will do for you.
Customer 3: (totally exatic) I GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH!!!!! (runs out happily)
Tenki: (sees random customer fly by) I know he's HOT, but. at least I stay true to my work.
Kurama: I admire you for that. (says through an open window neither of them knew was there) I really do. You're a worker and I can appriciate it.
Tenki: Thank you, Kurama. You know that rose? It's up there on my "special stuff" shelf.
Kurama: (looks up) Pictures, books, and a small vase with that flower. What makes it so special to you?
Tenki: (blush) You're almost my only friend after Potato left. Potato was the guy I fired. He tried to do some stuff that I really didn't appriciate at all. My family didn't like what I really wanted to do with my life, so I had to live with another family. My Shinobi siblings.
Kurama: The Shinobi?
Tenki: Yeah. Chu hung out a lot with us, and even Shishiwakumaru at some times. You might not believe it, but it's true. We were a family, I the only girl. I miss them.
Kurama: You have a right. do you have the time?
Tenki: It's lunch time. about noon.
(with Hiei)
Hiei: (walking up to shelf) All right, here are the Dragon Quest volumes.
Customer 4: Hey, thanks.
Hiei: (turns to go to another person who needs help) No prob. Those are in Japanese because they were never translated.
Customer 4: Cool. Domo Arigatou!
Hiei: Iie.
Customer 5: Hey, Manga-kun, could you tell me where the How to Draw Manga series is?
Hiei: Sure. They're over in this direction. (walks in that direction that he points A/N ever wonder if he could do this? I think not, really)
Customer 5: You're the most helpful person ever!
Hiei: Nah, just making sure that everyone that enjoys manga as much as I do get the respect and treatment they diserve. Manga is a joy of life, so I'll help anyone who likes manga, since manga is my way to connect to the world.
(with Kurama)
Kurama: (thinks) I have never played the lottery before. I think I'll try it. (says) Tenki, would you do me a favor?
Tenki: (cleaning her stove) Sure.
Kurama: Watch my shop for me. I need to go and pick up something.
Tenki: All right. (starts scrubbing as hard as she can to get off whatever's on it)
Kurama: (walks out of the store and down onto the other side of the market) hmm. Lucky Ticket? Lotto? Hmm.
Lotto Guy: (is the secret seller from Courage the Cowardly Dog) Hey, there. Wanna by a lotto ticket?
Kurama: Yes.
Lotto Guy: $2, please.
Kurama: here (gives him the money and Kurama gets the ticket)
Lotto Guy: Watch channel 296 on Direct TV to see your results (A/N: That's cartoon network I think. My mom has satelite) at 5 tonight.
Kurama: Okay. (walks back to his store)
Yusuke: NO ONE LIKES MY SHOP!!
Tenki: no, people up here in Seattle aren't that big on violence, Yusuke.
Kurama: Did anyone come by looking for me?
Yusuke: A herd of Fangirls!
Kurama: I see. I guess it was better that I did take my leave. (sees Tenki drawing) Tenki?
Tenki: what? I have fans. They're in the future though, because my manga will help my real family respect my talents more. (drawing a battle scene between the bushy haired prince and an evil sorceress) .I have to make them understand! Or I'll be left all alone.
Yusuke: why doesn't anyone like violence?
Tenki: They believe it can be avoided. Who knows or cares?
Kurama: I always wanted to see Mt. St. Helens.
Yusuke and Tenki: WHAT?
Kurama: It would be nice to see it. (A/N: Right now I'm on vacation, and I got to see it! Cool huh? I'm gonna use what I thought of in a future chapter!!)
Tenki: Okay. (keeps drawing)
(**TIME WARP! IT'S NOW 4:30)
Kurama: (turns on TV with satilite on to the channel to find out about how he did) Let's see if this $2 is really worth my time.
TV: (shows guy beside weird machine) You decided to play the Lotto! Lotto! Lotto! Find out if you win! That's our motto! Motto! Motto!
Kurama: (thinks) Great.
TV: Now the numbers are. 34, 65, 83, 5, 2, 87, 16, 8, 9, 35689087654!!!
Kurama: .I WON!!
TV: No shit. Come to pick up your winnings today! Bring a friend!
Yusuke: I'm closing now. I'm tired of this. see you guys later. I have to go and get a place to stay.
Tenki: Bye, Yusuke! Go say hi to Keiko tonight! Call her, you'll feel better.
Yusuke: I won't tell her about this job though. (closes his shop and walks out depressed like)
Tenki: (yawn) I think I'll have to close now too. I'm kinda tired.
Kurama: You wanna go with me to pick up my winnings?
Tenki: Sure. (goes and closes her shop so they can go downtown to pick up Kurama's winnings)
(They walk there and go inside the building. A/N I don't live in Seattle yet, so I don't know how everything is set up. I won't live there until July 2004!)
Receptionist: Are you the one with the winning ticket?
Kurama: Yes.
Receptionist: There are a whole pad of rules you might not have known about. Read the rules.
Rules for lotto: Be married Live in same house Be over 18 Have own buisness No kids Like Chocolate Hate Starbucks in downtown Seattle
Kurama: Those are simple. but be married? That's strange.
Receptionist: Well are you or not? You can't pick up the money if you're not right at this moment!
Kurama: (thinks) Tenki. I wish you could hear me.
Tenki: (thinks) Kurama? I can.
Kurama: (thinks) We have to be married if we're going to get this. Can I say it?
Tenki: (thinks) If you hold true to your word, okay. I'll deal with it. I like you a lot, but. go ahead, but you have to make it happen.
Kurama: (thinks) What a proposal! I haven't even known you a week!
Tenki: (thinks) I love you too.
Receptionist: ALL RIGHT! ARE YOU MARRIED?!
Kurama: Yes, we are. This is my wife Tenki.
Tenki: Excuse me, but. why are there so many rules?
Receptionist: (shrugs) Plot hole. You won 50 cents. Good day.
Kurama and Tenki: O.O (they walk out together)
Tenki: That was crap.
Kurama: No kidding. I agree.
Tenki: You have to keep that promise.
Kurama: Tenki. I overheard you talking to Jin today.
(*TIME WARP! AFTER CLOSING FOR THE KINOKUNIYA!)
Hiei: That was the best day of my life. I loved everything. The interaction, the manga, the people, the manga, the money, the MANGA! (walks into the apartment to find Kuwabara Seagull sitting on Kuwabara's floor staring at a Yukina picture. A whole is busted in the window)
Kuwabara Seagull: MINE! MINE!
Hiei: Supper! (charges up DODF)
Kuwabara Seagull: MIIIIIIIIINE!
Hiei: What? You can talk! (lets DODF die out) You might be that Baka's pet or something. All right, okay. What do poop birds eat? Eiikichi! Yes, the baka's kitten he's had hidden in his coat. (gets out Eiikichi) Here, stupid bird. Eat this!
Eiikichi: MEOW!
Kuwabara Seagull: Mine! MINE MINE MINE! MINE!
Hiei: Yes, go ahead and eat her. No one but Kuwabaka will care.
(Eiikichi and Kuwabara Seagull begin to cuddle)
Hiei: Hn. I don't like to watch THIS!
(walks out)
(with Kurama and Tenki)
Kurama: so you really do live in that shop? That's why I never see you go home. (A/N these episodes occur on a ficitous time line. They've known each other for about five days)
Tenki: Yeah, to be such a small shop, my bed is under the hollow counter I'm so short (5'5") that I can fit in there. My fridge is under the ingredient box and my TV is beside it but most people think it's just a table like thing. I have headphones for it, and a PlayStation 2! Everything to make a house a home, except for the thing I left when I came here.
Kurama: It's not a home there.
Tenki: (nods) it will never be as long as I'm like I am now.
Kurama: we can't afford a huge wedding or to bring everyone over either.
Tenki: Oh? Let me call a friend of mine. You have a cell phone?
Kurama: (hands her the cell phone) Here.
Tenki: Thanks. (dials number)
Phone: (makes ring tone)
Voice in cell phone: Hello?
Tenki: Hey, do you know who this is?
Voice in cell phone: It's Tenki! How are you?
Tenki: Well, I'm in a situation that's between a rock and hard place.
Voice in cell phone: That's mean. So can you tell me?
Tenki: I need your telepod.
Voice in cell phone: .no shit? Why? I don't get it.
Tenki: All right, it's to save money.
Voice in cell phone: You finally decided to tie the knot. didn't you?
Tenki: How'd ya know?
Voice in cell phone: Well, I saw it on channel 296. You're married to Kurama? That's too damn twisted for me. You married?
Tenki: Not yet. That's why we need your telepod, YOSHI!
Yami Yoshi: (Tenki's little brother, BTW) Heh heh heh. as long as I can appear and cause mayhem.
Tenki: YOSHI!! STOP IT!!
Kurama: (not on phone) Tenki, what's wrong? We can make money if we want.
Random Delivery Guy: KURAMA!!! (the guy from Bugs Bunny cartoons) PACKAGE FOR KURAMA! (hands Kurama a package addressed from the Lotto people)
Kurama: .oh? (opens it but it's a howler letter from Harry Potter)
Howler Letter: YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOUR MARRIED OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED FOR FRAUD!! STUPID MORTALS BURN IN HELL!!! (explodes all over Kurama's face)
Kurama: (with ashes like stuff on his face) cough. cough. yes, I see.. tell Yoshi he can do whatever he wants. I don't think I could stand jail.
Tenki: (into phone) WHAT THE F**KING EVER!! JUST BRING IT TO KURAMA'S APARTMENT!!! (whispers the room number so no fangirls hear it)
Fangirls: DAMMIT!!!!!
Yami Yoshi: (can't stop laughing) Yuppers! Let's go ruin a wedding! (click)
(TIME WARP!!!!! THE WEDDING!!!)
(Jin and Y. Yoshi are running around like crazy victims of mass hysteria. Touya, Suzaku (Saint Beast), Shishiwakumaru, and Chu are drinking some strange stuff. Kurama is in a tux, waiting. Tenki's family, including Dragon Gurl and Youko (red redheaded bishonen fic to find out how they got separated) are waiting, put impatiently. Yukina, Keiko, Botan are the bridesmaids. The best man is Hiei, while the matron of honor doesn't exist, because Genkai is dead. (in her younger form). that's the scene. Now let's get to the real stuff)
Y. Yoshi: I don't wanna decorate!
Jin: Me either!
Dragon Gurl: BOREDOM IS CLAIMING ME!!
(Doors open and another delivery guy brings in an altar)
Another Delivery Guy: I have an altar. where's Tenki?
Kurama: I don't know. I don't think I'll never find out. The groom never knows!!
Touya: (drunk) Ah yes this is the life.
Another Delivery Guy: Where do you want this?
Kurama: Go and put it there. (points at place to put it)
Youko: I heard that Y. Yoshi is the only person they could give enough money to to be the Preacher.
Dragon Gurl: So? Jin's doing the organ thing. (points at Kagato's Organ from Tenchi Muyo) What do you think of that?
(TIME WARP!! WEDDING STARTS!!)
Jin: (plays on organ the death march to Star Wars)
Y. Yoshi: I am expecting. great things. from this wedding.
Kurama: (nervous) I think that Jin's playing the wrong song.
Jin: Wha? Oh sorry. (Plays main theme to Terminator 3 A/N that wasn't too bad a movie, I think)
Y. Yoshi: (snickering) This will be good.
Dragon Gurl: That's still the wrong song.
(door opens)
(Tenki appears wearing a white kimono like dress but not a kimono)
Tenki: (silent and walking up the aisle with a paper cut out of her dad attachted to her arm crying)
Paper cut out of Tenki's Dad: (has note on it) Sorry I couldn't make it, Tenki. The van broke again. Love Dad.
Tenki: (keeps walking but trips on the cut out and falls on Kurama who was trying to catch her and he falls onto Hiei, and they both fall into the machine that was supposed to be the altar) KURAMA!!!
Jin: (starts to play the worried music from Signs)
D. G.: What the hell? Jin, can't you play something that fits?
Jin: I only know three songs.
(The machine suddenly starts spitting out clones of Kurama and Hiei by the millions! All real and in tuxes!!)
Tenki: Kurama!! Hiei!! .are you all right?? Kurama, hun!! Kurama!!
Kurama: (looks up) I'm all right, Tenki. don't be worried.
Random Kurama clone: Oh.
Tenki: What the??? (lifts all the flowers off the "altar" to find it was Pokemon's Nurse Joy machine!) NURSE JOY MACHINE?!
Kurama Clone 346785: What happened?
Hiei Clone 754679: Hn. I want a hot fudge sundae.
Tenki: all right, we have to do something about all these Kurama and Hiei clones!! Any fangirl out there that wants a real Kurama or Hiei without anyone saying "Hey, he's mine!"? I understand, and with all these clones, everyone can have 1!!
Kurama and Hiei: (get out of machine)
Kurama: Tenki. what's it matter? (kisses her)
**Well, all right, anyone who wants Kurama or Hiei review! Or email! It will take me almost three weeks to get him to you, but they will come! Enjoy!
Tenki**
Episode Three
Disclaimer: I don't own Seattle, Kinokuniya Bookstore, Yu Yu Hakusho, Finding Nemo, Rurouni Kenshin, Shaman King, Courage the Cowardly Dog (blame my brother for Cartoon Network's crappier beatings, all right!) Bugs Bunny, Tenchi Muyo, a lottery of any kind, Dragon Gurl (my little sister), Yami Yoshi (my little brother), Star Wars, Terminator 3, Signs, Pokemon or Pike Place Market. I do own Tenki, the chocolate covered rice balls, the name of the store, the name of Yusuke's store (soon to be) and the book of manga talked about in the beginning. Thank you.
** Tenki: Hey, ya peeps! I've returned with another chapter of Seattle Life.
Kurama: It's not all that bad living in that city.
Kuwabara Seagull: Mine! Mine!
Yusuke: Hey, he's looking at a picture of Yukina.
Tenki: I appriciate the reveiws, my fans and readers or audience. live studio audience? How's that? Anyone want to join that? Review!
Hiei: We're not on a stage, are we?
Kurama: (holding scull like a poet) All the world's a stage, Hiei! You have to live like your acting or you'll fall into the pits of despair!!
Tenki: (watches intently) FREE DRAMA! WOW! Hey. was the disclaimer done, you guys?
Hiei: Shizuru painted it on a sign. (points at disclaimer) See? Those who are reading can see it.
Tenki: Well, let's get started shall we? ROLL FICCY!!
** Seattle life theme song plays ** YYH annoucer: Kuwabara now under a curse and Kurama meeting a new friend, what shall become of them? Yusuke is jobless and Hiei is now in Kinokuniya. Now with the insanity that Tenki has put me through.
Tenki: HEY IT'S NOT INSANITY! DO IT!
YYH annoucer: Right. (sigh) find out on today's episode!
(Episode thing from YYH shows up. In glittery transformation like thingy it does, out comes the words: "Money for Living". Screen goes to the first scene)
Kurama: (sitting in his shop) All right, let's see. roses, daisies, tulips, lavender, hmm. (he's taking inventory)
Tenki: AHA! (boils rice in a huge pot) I FOUND IT!!!
Kurama: (looks up to see Tenki in her shop rummaging through ingridents to make some chocolate goodies) I'm glad she's in a better mood today.
Yusuke: (runs in Kurama's shop) Hey, Kurama! I'm starting a shop!! I got permission to have it right there! (points at empty place right in front of Kurama's shop mentioned last chapter) I'll finally be able to get a place to live!!
Kurama: What will you sell?
Yusuke: Well. (points to a coming curtain that's going to show a flashback)
**Flashback**
Leader Guy of Group: Yes, you're Yusuke Urameshi, right? And you want to start a "Beatings for Hire Shop"?
Yusuke: Yeah.
Swabbie Guy of Group 1: Well, we here are against violence.
Yusuke: Tough shit, people. It's good money.
Leader Guy: Is your name Guy Fokker?
Yusuke: NO!
Swabbie Guy of Group 2: YOU SMELL LIKE HIM!
Yusuke: damn! I love Keiko! (pulls out picture of Keiko from random place) SEE?
Leader Guy: oh all right. (pouts silently thinking about wiggling man boobs) Well, all right. We need proof you can do it.
Yusuke: All right. Hire me to beat someone up.
Leader Guy: I'll give you $2000 to beat up Bakken!
Swabbie Guy of group 2/Bakken: AHHHH!
Yusuke: cool! AGAIN! (beats him up and gets $2000)
Leader Guy: All right! Die BAKKEN!
Bakken: SHUT UP SUZUKA!
Yusuke: GENKAI KICKED YOUR ASS!
Suzuka: Yes. And to take revenge, I will use you as bait!
Yusuke: she's dead, fruit cake.
Bakken: He told you!!
Kurama: This flashback is pointless.
Yusuke: Go back to your time, Kurama.
Kurama: Okay, fine speed up to the end!
(Time passes a lot faster as you see in fast forward Kurama leave, Yusuke shout and beat up Suzuka and Bakken again while taking the keys and papers to the place he's going to go, then it goes back to play mode)
Yusuke: All right! I HAVE A JOB!
**end flashback**
Kurama: That was a little long.
Yusuke: Sorry, but that's what I've got.
Tenki: (walks over) Hey, guys. (smiles) Want lunch? I'll give you a discount. ^_~!!
Yusuke: Hey, it's a pretty girl. why don't we wait until after we get in touch with everyone before we make plans?
Tenki: Okay!! How many people do you want to bring?
Kurama: There will be four of us, Tenki.
Yusuke: did you find yourself a girlfriend, Kurama?
Tenki: (blush) no. we aren't going to have a relationship. we just met recently, umm.
Yusuke: My name's Yusuke.
Tenki: I'll go over and sit in my shop now. (slowly goes back over with depressed look on her face)
(Meanwhile, Hiei was.)
Hiei: Oh my god. heaven.
Fan Girls: (hidden behind manga racks) Hee hee hee. now we know how to trap him. MUAHAHAHA!
Customer 1: What was that?
Hiei: Hn. You're hearing noises, pathetic swine. (walks up to the counter) Konnichiwa, watashi no namae wa Hiei desu. (A/N: in english it's Hello, my name is Hiei.)
Clerk: (Japanese accent) I speak english, Hiei.
Hiei: Oh. I am looking for a carrier involving manga. and.
Clerk: You wanna work here? Knowing Japanese is a good quality here. Do you know Chinese?
Hiei: .nihow. washur Hiei. (english: Hello. I am Hiei)
Clerk: (estatic) Cool! You're hired! (gives him uniform) You will work from 10 am till closing, does that bother you?
Hiei: No, not at all.
Clerk: all days but Sunday. We're open Sunday, but you'll get it off, okay?
Hiei: That's fine with me, I have no problems with it. I want to work with exclusively manga though.
Clerk: Fine, your nickname will be Manga-kun!
Hiei: (gets starry eyed and happy) my nickname will be the grace of god.
Clerk: Uhh, okay.
(with Kuwabara)
Kuwabara Seagull: Miiiiine!!
Voice: shut the hell up, Seagull! Go find you're true love and break the curse!
Kuwabara Seagull: Mine! Mine! (opens wings and starts to fly up to his apartment window) MINE! MINE! MINE!
Voice: stupid creatures.
Kuwabara Seagull: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!
(back to Tenki)
Tenki: (sigh again, singing Rurouni Kenshin end theme song) "Hi tao ni de wa." (stirs rice in pot)
Customer 2: (walks in) Hello.
Tenki: Oh! Hey. is that you. Jin?
Jin: Yeah, that's me all right, Miss Tenki. (smiles) What 're you up to now that you left Japan and all.
Tenki: I wanted to start a real resturant, but all I got was this. Jin, I feel kinda helpless since Mr. Potato didn't help me like he said he would.
Jin: Then the liar wants a beatin' from ol' me, does he? I'll give him a good spin with my Tornado fist, that I will! You 'erd from Touya lately?
Tenki: Nah. Other than you, Jin, none of the shinobi ever keep in touch. I heard from Chu though. He's making it big as a rock star in Europe!
Jin: Sounds like somethin' he'd do. I missed ya. Where you been staying?
Tenki: I can't tell you.
Kurama: (is in his shop but can hear everything. unintentionally of course. We know that Kurama wouldn't listen in like that)
Jin: Don't tell me that they kicked you out since Potato did that to you.
Tenki: I don't want to have anyone overhear about my troubles here in the city. I just wanna go home to Japan where I was all right and I could've made a lot of money making manga.
Jin: You made manga?
Tenki: It's my real and true passion. See? (holds up a book of manga A/N: this is really MY manga, and I've really made it and everything! Just all I have to do is publish it!) I call it "Shi no Ai". "Death's Love"! It's based on the man that I wish that I could really have. ...Smart, handsome, witty, and gentle. what do you think?
Jin: It's really a wonder how we got together in the first place, Tenki. I can't remember how we met. the Shinobi group really took a liking to you and your cooking. (starts to fiddle with a lock of her hair) Tenki. let me take care of ya, I can do it.
Tenki: No, Jin. I won't go back to that life that I led when living with you Shinobi! You're like my brother. I'd rather stay living in this pathetic shop like this instead of making you.
Jin: I want to take care of ya. Tenki.
Tenki: NO! (shoos him out of the shop) Shoo go on, get out! I don't need you here and trying to take me into the life I left Japan to forget! (walks back in, but looks up at a picture on the wall. There is a picture of Tenki, Jin, Touya, Chu, and a mysterious younger boy together) I miss my family.
Yusuke: (stands in his shop) Hey, Tenki! What was Jin doing in your shop? Do you know him?
Tenki: Why do you wanna know Yusuke? Do you want a job?
Yusuke: Oh?
Tenki: All right, I'll give you $10 to beat up Jin.
Yusuke: that's it?
Tenki: Be that way. (starts to sing Shaman King's opening theme song but is interrupted by a call on the phone)
Phone: RING RING DAMMIT RING!
Tenki: (picks it up) Hello?
Voice on the line: Tenki, I was wondering if you still make those wonderful chocolate covered rice balls?
Tenki: Still homemade, and yes I do. How can I help you?
Voice on the line: I wanna order 10 rice balls.
Tenki: When will you pick them up?
Voice on the line: Today at 3:30, is that all right?
Tenki: Yeah, but I need your name.
Voice on the line: I'm with Kinokuniya Bookstore!
Tenki: .is that. HIEI?
Fangirls: (randomly appear in store) We wanna hear his voice!!
Tenki: Fine, Hiei. Pick them up. That will be $30, I hope you know!!
Hiei: Okay.
Tenki: (hangs up. The dissapointed fangirls leave)
Yusuke: Wonder what Kuwabara's doing?
(and still yet, with Kuwabara)
Kuwabara Seagull: MINE! MINE! (is still trying to get in the window) MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!! (thinks) I'm gonna be fired!
(with Kuwabara's boss)
Kuwabara's boss: (very angry) Where is that stupid %^&*(^$#@#$%^*&^%$##$%^&**&^$##$%^&#$%^&&%@#$%^&^?!?!?!?!?!?! He's FIRED!!
(back with Kurama)
TV in shop down the hall: (commercial) Play the lottery and win! (end commercial)
Kurama: Lottery?
Customer 3: (walks in Kurama's shop) Oh my god!! It's really you!!
Kurama: Good morning, Miss. How can I help you?
Customer 3: You're. Suiichi! Kurama!
Kurama: Yes. Can I help you?
Customer 3: Does it cost to get an autograph from you?
Kurama: Autograph? I don't get it, but. (pulls out a napkin and signs it) I hope that this will do for you.
Customer 3: (totally exatic) I GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH!!!!! (runs out happily)
Tenki: (sees random customer fly by) I know he's HOT, but. at least I stay true to my work.
Kurama: I admire you for that. (says through an open window neither of them knew was there) I really do. You're a worker and I can appriciate it.
Tenki: Thank you, Kurama. You know that rose? It's up there on my "special stuff" shelf.
Kurama: (looks up) Pictures, books, and a small vase with that flower. What makes it so special to you?
Tenki: (blush) You're almost my only friend after Potato left. Potato was the guy I fired. He tried to do some stuff that I really didn't appriciate at all. My family didn't like what I really wanted to do with my life, so I had to live with another family. My Shinobi siblings.
Kurama: The Shinobi?
Tenki: Yeah. Chu hung out a lot with us, and even Shishiwakumaru at some times. You might not believe it, but it's true. We were a family, I the only girl. I miss them.
Kurama: You have a right. do you have the time?
Tenki: It's lunch time. about noon.
(with Hiei)
Hiei: (walking up to shelf) All right, here are the Dragon Quest volumes.
Customer 4: Hey, thanks.
Hiei: (turns to go to another person who needs help) No prob. Those are in Japanese because they were never translated.
Customer 4: Cool. Domo Arigatou!
Hiei: Iie.
Customer 5: Hey, Manga-kun, could you tell me where the How to Draw Manga series is?
Hiei: Sure. They're over in this direction. (walks in that direction that he points A/N ever wonder if he could do this? I think not, really)
Customer 5: You're the most helpful person ever!
Hiei: Nah, just making sure that everyone that enjoys manga as much as I do get the respect and treatment they diserve. Manga is a joy of life, so I'll help anyone who likes manga, since manga is my way to connect to the world.
(with Kurama)
Kurama: (thinks) I have never played the lottery before. I think I'll try it. (says) Tenki, would you do me a favor?
Tenki: (cleaning her stove) Sure.
Kurama: Watch my shop for me. I need to go and pick up something.
Tenki: All right. (starts scrubbing as hard as she can to get off whatever's on it)
Kurama: (walks out of the store and down onto the other side of the market) hmm. Lucky Ticket? Lotto? Hmm.
Lotto Guy: (is the secret seller from Courage the Cowardly Dog) Hey, there. Wanna by a lotto ticket?
Kurama: Yes.
Lotto Guy: $2, please.
Kurama: here (gives him the money and Kurama gets the ticket)
Lotto Guy: Watch channel 296 on Direct TV to see your results (A/N: That's cartoon network I think. My mom has satelite) at 5 tonight.
Kurama: Okay. (walks back to his store)
Yusuke: NO ONE LIKES MY SHOP!!
Tenki: no, people up here in Seattle aren't that big on violence, Yusuke.
Kurama: Did anyone come by looking for me?
Yusuke: A herd of Fangirls!
Kurama: I see. I guess it was better that I did take my leave. (sees Tenki drawing) Tenki?
Tenki: what? I have fans. They're in the future though, because my manga will help my real family respect my talents more. (drawing a battle scene between the bushy haired prince and an evil sorceress) .I have to make them understand! Or I'll be left all alone.
Yusuke: why doesn't anyone like violence?
Tenki: They believe it can be avoided. Who knows or cares?
Kurama: I always wanted to see Mt. St. Helens.
Yusuke and Tenki: WHAT?
Kurama: It would be nice to see it. (A/N: Right now I'm on vacation, and I got to see it! Cool huh? I'm gonna use what I thought of in a future chapter!!)
Tenki: Okay. (keeps drawing)
(**TIME WARP! IT'S NOW 4:30)
Kurama: (turns on TV with satilite on to the channel to find out about how he did) Let's see if this $2 is really worth my time.
TV: (shows guy beside weird machine) You decided to play the Lotto! Lotto! Lotto! Find out if you win! That's our motto! Motto! Motto!
Kurama: (thinks) Great.
TV: Now the numbers are. 34, 65, 83, 5, 2, 87, 16, 8, 9, 35689087654!!!
Kurama: .I WON!!
TV: No shit. Come to pick up your winnings today! Bring a friend!
Yusuke: I'm closing now. I'm tired of this. see you guys later. I have to go and get a place to stay.
Tenki: Bye, Yusuke! Go say hi to Keiko tonight! Call her, you'll feel better.
Yusuke: I won't tell her about this job though. (closes his shop and walks out depressed like)
Tenki: (yawn) I think I'll have to close now too. I'm kinda tired.
Kurama: You wanna go with me to pick up my winnings?
Tenki: Sure. (goes and closes her shop so they can go downtown to pick up Kurama's winnings)
(They walk there and go inside the building. A/N I don't live in Seattle yet, so I don't know how everything is set up. I won't live there until July 2004!)
Receptionist: Are you the one with the winning ticket?
Kurama: Yes.
Receptionist: There are a whole pad of rules you might not have known about. Read the rules.
Rules for lotto: Be married Live in same house Be over 18 Have own buisness No kids Like Chocolate Hate Starbucks in downtown Seattle
Kurama: Those are simple. but be married? That's strange.
Receptionist: Well are you or not? You can't pick up the money if you're not right at this moment!
Kurama: (thinks) Tenki. I wish you could hear me.
Tenki: (thinks) Kurama? I can.
Kurama: (thinks) We have to be married if we're going to get this. Can I say it?
Tenki: (thinks) If you hold true to your word, okay. I'll deal with it. I like you a lot, but. go ahead, but you have to make it happen.
Kurama: (thinks) What a proposal! I haven't even known you a week!
Tenki: (thinks) I love you too.
Receptionist: ALL RIGHT! ARE YOU MARRIED?!
Kurama: Yes, we are. This is my wife Tenki.
Tenki: Excuse me, but. why are there so many rules?
Receptionist: (shrugs) Plot hole. You won 50 cents. Good day.
Kurama and Tenki: O.O (they walk out together)
Tenki: That was crap.
Kurama: No kidding. I agree.
Tenki: You have to keep that promise.
Kurama: Tenki. I overheard you talking to Jin today.
(*TIME WARP! AFTER CLOSING FOR THE KINOKUNIYA!)
Hiei: That was the best day of my life. I loved everything. The interaction, the manga, the people, the manga, the money, the MANGA! (walks into the apartment to find Kuwabara Seagull sitting on Kuwabara's floor staring at a Yukina picture. A whole is busted in the window)
Kuwabara Seagull: MINE! MINE!
Hiei: Supper! (charges up DODF)
Kuwabara Seagull: MIIIIIIIIINE!
Hiei: What? You can talk! (lets DODF die out) You might be that Baka's pet or something. All right, okay. What do poop birds eat? Eiikichi! Yes, the baka's kitten he's had hidden in his coat. (gets out Eiikichi) Here, stupid bird. Eat this!
Eiikichi: MEOW!
Kuwabara Seagull: Mine! MINE MINE MINE! MINE!
Hiei: Yes, go ahead and eat her. No one but Kuwabaka will care.
(Eiikichi and Kuwabara Seagull begin to cuddle)
Hiei: Hn. I don't like to watch THIS!
(walks out)
(with Kurama and Tenki)
Kurama: so you really do live in that shop? That's why I never see you go home. (A/N these episodes occur on a ficitous time line. They've known each other for about five days)
Tenki: Yeah, to be such a small shop, my bed is under the hollow counter I'm so short (5'5") that I can fit in there. My fridge is under the ingredient box and my TV is beside it but most people think it's just a table like thing. I have headphones for it, and a PlayStation 2! Everything to make a house a home, except for the thing I left when I came here.
Kurama: It's not a home there.
Tenki: (nods) it will never be as long as I'm like I am now.
Kurama: we can't afford a huge wedding or to bring everyone over either.
Tenki: Oh? Let me call a friend of mine. You have a cell phone?
Kurama: (hands her the cell phone) Here.
Tenki: Thanks. (dials number)
Phone: (makes ring tone)
Voice in cell phone: Hello?
Tenki: Hey, do you know who this is?
Voice in cell phone: It's Tenki! How are you?
Tenki: Well, I'm in a situation that's between a rock and hard place.
Voice in cell phone: That's mean. So can you tell me?
Tenki: I need your telepod.
Voice in cell phone: .no shit? Why? I don't get it.
Tenki: All right, it's to save money.
Voice in cell phone: You finally decided to tie the knot. didn't you?
Tenki: How'd ya know?
Voice in cell phone: Well, I saw it on channel 296. You're married to Kurama? That's too damn twisted for me. You married?
Tenki: Not yet. That's why we need your telepod, YOSHI!
Yami Yoshi: (Tenki's little brother, BTW) Heh heh heh. as long as I can appear and cause mayhem.
Tenki: YOSHI!! STOP IT!!
Kurama: (not on phone) Tenki, what's wrong? We can make money if we want.
Random Delivery Guy: KURAMA!!! (the guy from Bugs Bunny cartoons) PACKAGE FOR KURAMA! (hands Kurama a package addressed from the Lotto people)
Kurama: .oh? (opens it but it's a howler letter from Harry Potter)
Howler Letter: YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOUR MARRIED OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED FOR FRAUD!! STUPID MORTALS BURN IN HELL!!! (explodes all over Kurama's face)
Kurama: (with ashes like stuff on his face) cough. cough. yes, I see.. tell Yoshi he can do whatever he wants. I don't think I could stand jail.
Tenki: (into phone) WHAT THE F**KING EVER!! JUST BRING IT TO KURAMA'S APARTMENT!!! (whispers the room number so no fangirls hear it)
Fangirls: DAMMIT!!!!!
Yami Yoshi: (can't stop laughing) Yuppers! Let's go ruin a wedding! (click)
(TIME WARP!!!!! THE WEDDING!!!)
(Jin and Y. Yoshi are running around like crazy victims of mass hysteria. Touya, Suzaku (Saint Beast), Shishiwakumaru, and Chu are drinking some strange stuff. Kurama is in a tux, waiting. Tenki's family, including Dragon Gurl and Youko (red redheaded bishonen fic to find out how they got separated) are waiting, put impatiently. Yukina, Keiko, Botan are the bridesmaids. The best man is Hiei, while the matron of honor doesn't exist, because Genkai is dead. (in her younger form). that's the scene. Now let's get to the real stuff)
Y. Yoshi: I don't wanna decorate!
Jin: Me either!
Dragon Gurl: BOREDOM IS CLAIMING ME!!
(Doors open and another delivery guy brings in an altar)
Another Delivery Guy: I have an altar. where's Tenki?
Kurama: I don't know. I don't think I'll never find out. The groom never knows!!
Touya: (drunk) Ah yes this is the life.
Another Delivery Guy: Where do you want this?
Kurama: Go and put it there. (points at place to put it)
Youko: I heard that Y. Yoshi is the only person they could give enough money to to be the Preacher.
Dragon Gurl: So? Jin's doing the organ thing. (points at Kagato's Organ from Tenchi Muyo) What do you think of that?
(TIME WARP!! WEDDING STARTS!!)
Jin: (plays on organ the death march to Star Wars)
Y. Yoshi: I am expecting. great things. from this wedding.
Kurama: (nervous) I think that Jin's playing the wrong song.
Jin: Wha? Oh sorry. (Plays main theme to Terminator 3 A/N that wasn't too bad a movie, I think)
Y. Yoshi: (snickering) This will be good.
Dragon Gurl: That's still the wrong song.
(door opens)
(Tenki appears wearing a white kimono like dress but not a kimono)
Tenki: (silent and walking up the aisle with a paper cut out of her dad attachted to her arm crying)
Paper cut out of Tenki's Dad: (has note on it) Sorry I couldn't make it, Tenki. The van broke again. Love Dad.
Tenki: (keeps walking but trips on the cut out and falls on Kurama who was trying to catch her and he falls onto Hiei, and they both fall into the machine that was supposed to be the altar) KURAMA!!!
Jin: (starts to play the worried music from Signs)
D. G.: What the hell? Jin, can't you play something that fits?
Jin: I only know three songs.
(The machine suddenly starts spitting out clones of Kurama and Hiei by the millions! All real and in tuxes!!)
Tenki: Kurama!! Hiei!! .are you all right?? Kurama, hun!! Kurama!!
Kurama: (looks up) I'm all right, Tenki. don't be worried.
Random Kurama clone: Oh.
Tenki: What the??? (lifts all the flowers off the "altar" to find it was Pokemon's Nurse Joy machine!) NURSE JOY MACHINE?!
Kurama Clone 346785: What happened?
Hiei Clone 754679: Hn. I want a hot fudge sundae.
Tenki: all right, we have to do something about all these Kurama and Hiei clones!! Any fangirl out there that wants a real Kurama or Hiei without anyone saying "Hey, he's mine!"? I understand, and with all these clones, everyone can have 1!!
Kurama and Hiei: (get out of machine)
Kurama: Tenki. what's it matter? (kisses her)
**Well, all right, anyone who wants Kurama or Hiei review! Or email! It will take me almost three weeks to get him to you, but they will come! Enjoy!
Tenki**
