You thought you knew all the character classes. You thought you knew the entire game of Diablo. Well let me tell you right now, you don't know nothing. . .
A new character class joins the game, the magician. But can he complete all the quests without help?
And RedLady's at it again. Here you go, presented strictly for your own entertainment. An altered version of the game owned by Blizzard Entertainment, Diablo II. (Imagine the letters on fire. . .) And should I mention the little rating down here marked "M" for mature audiences only? No? OK. Please kindly disregard it.
Author's Note: Yes, perhaps I am a bit obsessed with the whole Diablo II game and fanfiction. Someday I'll get over it. But not today! I don't know where I came up with this stuff! It was simply found in one of those squeaky clean corners of my brain. It is definitely different from anything I've written before. Lots of hidden jokes, so bring your magnifying glass. Um, here it is...
A couple more notes I thought I would mention here.
*These mean someone is thinking: 'Insert thought here'
*These separate each individual section: (----------------%------------------)
BMagician/B
IWe have sent out a beacon asking for help through all the corners of the world. At first no one seemed to want to help a small town consisting of just eight people. We lived away from most of the civilization. Yet the hero who did answer our call was somebody I would have never expected. . ./I
It was a rainy day at the infamous little town simply called the Rogue Encampment. Yet then again all days at this dwelling were somewhat wet. Kashya simply stood in the very center of the camp with her arms crossed. Who knew how this would help anything? Warriv sat lazily by the fire. Akara prayed by her tent yet the Sightless Eye didn't seem to see her and the Rogue's predicament. Gheed counted his 25 coins for the four hundredth and sixth time. Charsi simply banged on her anvil. Even though she was a blacksmith she hadn't made anything for about four months. There were a couple of Rogues who somehow all looked alike. They all stood there with their bows aimed and ready to shoot even if they were off guard duty.
Everyone in this quaint little place simply waited. Waited for a hero. And a hero they got. But they shouldn't have put their hopes up. Because the hero they got was none other the famous Zhon te Fee'iar or better known as his stage name of Ali Khazum! He claimed to be a magician and could help to rid the area surrounding the Rogue encampment of all it's evil (and perform for free at birthday parties too!). Also his lovely assistant Ki-Ki came along too. Though the inhabitants of the Rogue encampment didn't think he could pull it off, Zhon te Fee'iar and Ki-Ki were their last hope!
(------------#-------------)
Kashya sighed as the rain drenched her. Their seemed to be a rain cloud which followed her all day. She even had a little mold between the toes to prove it! (Though she would never show anybody.) 'Another day of waiting,' she thought to herself. Never had the thought crossed in her mind that perhaps she could rid their land of all it's evil. Then again who knows if she could truly pull it off.
Suddenly a man appeared to her side! Out of the blueness of a mystical portal he appeared as if some sort of mystical being himself. She looked at him surprised with her eyes nearly bulging out. The man saw her and she marveled at his good looks.
"Good Evening Madam!" The man said bowing to her. He wore a black suit with white gloves and a red flowing cape. His hair was combed back and he sported a simple mustache under his rather large nose. His eyes were brown and at first Kashya was rather taken by him. But she suddenly remembered that she was a Rogue and banished all thoughts of . . .
--Well you don't really want to know what she was thinking.
He got up from his bow and suddenly noticed it was raining. Pulling out a black umbrella (which seemed to have appeared from no where.), he popped it open and looked around.
"This is the Rogue encampment, is it not?" He asked.
"Yes, it is!" Kashya said rather harshly suddenly becoming untrustworthy of this caped man.
"I am Zhon te Fee'iar, Magician and monster slayer. I am here from your add in the Daily Sanctuary news for a monster exterminator! Though I usually just perform tricks I am qualified to kill any monster as well." He said pulling out his monster slaying licence.
Before she could read it he shoved it back in his pocket and it must have been lost forever in his pocket because he could carry more stuff than Four Horadric Cubes!
"Are you sure you are the hero we've been looking for?" Kashya said skeptically. "This isn't some circus show."
Zhon looked around and thought he could argue otherwise, but decided against it. He was about to take her hand and kiss it, (but upon seeing the mold...). So he simply bowed down again.
"I can be anyone's savior! Especially to a camp full of beautiful women." He said looking around and not seeing any. Then one did run up! It was a beautiful blonde whom he instantly became infatuated with. He gazed at her dreamily as she ran in slow motion toward them. She was pretty built for her size. Especially in the arms. She clutched a hammer which he found to be quite sexy. The sweat and rain ran off her as she ran and the bounce of her...
"Hi! I'm Charsi, The Blacksmith!" The blonde said interrupting his fantasy. Charsi out of breath spoke quickly in a enthusiastic voice not taking one breath. "You must be the hero who can save us all!--If you need anything repaired or a new set of armor be sure to drop by!--I'm usually around the front of the camp next to my anvil.--Nice to meet you." She said in one breath, shaking his hand. "Now where has that Gheed gone off too." She muttered under her breath and ran off quickly towards one of the caravan wagons. Zhon would have watched her as she left (with his eyes more towards her posterior), yet he felt Kashya eyes upon him and turned toward the Rogue.
"Well if you are here to save us, I suggest going to Akara for your first quest." Kashya said turning away so she could get back to her job of standing there with her arms crossed.
"I'd better wait for my assistant to get here first!" He announced and stood there for two hours checking his watch every so often. He put his umbrella away by then and decided to just get wet.
"Girls." He muttered. "Never on time."
Finally after three hours his lovely assistant did come, the brunette headed, sparkling, sequined, skimpy dress wearing (so she could move freely of course), Ki-Ki!
"You're late!" Zhon scolded annoyed. "Sorry boss." She said in a Southern accent.
"You can drop the accent, we are out of Aranoch!" He said in his own accent which sounded French to me, but there isn't a France in Sanctuary so I don't know what he would sound like to you.
"Sorry boss." She said in her normal voice.
"I waited for you for three hours!" He exclaimed.
"Can you ever forgive me?" She said looking at him with the sweetest face she could think of. Looking like a sad little kitten, Zhon couldn't help but feel his heart melting like butter.
He smiled. "Of course I can forgive you my little assistant."
"Oh thanks." Ki-Ki exclaimed and gave him a great big bear hug. He hugged her back.
"Now are you ready to perform in the biggest Magic Show of our lives?" He said excited.
"You mean it?" Ki-Ki yelled!
"Yup! Let's go get our first quest!"
"All right!" She said and they exchanged high fives.
(------%------)
They interrupted her praying. "Excuse me, madam!" Zhon interrupted her.
"Look! She looks like one of those nuns..." Ki-Ki explained and Zhon looked at her with a look that meant shut up.
Akara looked up confused. "Can I help you?" She said as if a greeter at a store.
"We are here to get our first quest!" Ki-Ki said excited.
"Kashya said to go to you." Zhon said, mad at Ki-Ki for stating their purpose.
"Well there is this Den of Evil. . ."
"Well do it!" Ki-Ki said interrupting.
"But I haven't. . ."
"We'll do it Ms. Akara!" Zhon added.
And with that they left. Thirty minutes later they were back.
"Um, Ms. Akara Ma'am?" Zhon said sheepishly.
"Yes?" She said confused for they had interrupted her prayer a second time.
"Can we have a map of the area?" Zhon stated.
"And what do we have to do again?" Ki-Ki added.
Akara sighed and gave them a map. She explained how you were supposed to clear the den of evil out of all the monsters.
And they were off on the very first quest.
Don't worry, there's much more and if you didn't like it that's ok-flame me then because right now I need something to warm my feet by. The only thing is we don't have a fire place; so any fire sent my way please contain it in the appropriate manner...
A new character class joins the game, the magician. But can he complete all the quests without help?
And RedLady's at it again. Here you go, presented strictly for your own entertainment. An altered version of the game owned by Blizzard Entertainment, Diablo II. (Imagine the letters on fire. . .) And should I mention the little rating down here marked "M" for mature audiences only? No? OK. Please kindly disregard it.
Author's Note: Yes, perhaps I am a bit obsessed with the whole Diablo II game and fanfiction. Someday I'll get over it. But not today! I don't know where I came up with this stuff! It was simply found in one of those squeaky clean corners of my brain. It is definitely different from anything I've written before. Lots of hidden jokes, so bring your magnifying glass. Um, here it is...
A couple more notes I thought I would mention here.
*These mean someone is thinking: 'Insert thought here'
*These separate each individual section: (----------------%------------------)
BMagician/B
IWe have sent out a beacon asking for help through all the corners of the world. At first no one seemed to want to help a small town consisting of just eight people. We lived away from most of the civilization. Yet the hero who did answer our call was somebody I would have never expected. . ./I
It was a rainy day at the infamous little town simply called the Rogue Encampment. Yet then again all days at this dwelling were somewhat wet. Kashya simply stood in the very center of the camp with her arms crossed. Who knew how this would help anything? Warriv sat lazily by the fire. Akara prayed by her tent yet the Sightless Eye didn't seem to see her and the Rogue's predicament. Gheed counted his 25 coins for the four hundredth and sixth time. Charsi simply banged on her anvil. Even though she was a blacksmith she hadn't made anything for about four months. There were a couple of Rogues who somehow all looked alike. They all stood there with their bows aimed and ready to shoot even if they were off guard duty.
Everyone in this quaint little place simply waited. Waited for a hero. And a hero they got. But they shouldn't have put their hopes up. Because the hero they got was none other the famous Zhon te Fee'iar or better known as his stage name of Ali Khazum! He claimed to be a magician and could help to rid the area surrounding the Rogue encampment of all it's evil (and perform for free at birthday parties too!). Also his lovely assistant Ki-Ki came along too. Though the inhabitants of the Rogue encampment didn't think he could pull it off, Zhon te Fee'iar and Ki-Ki were their last hope!
(------------#-------------)
Kashya sighed as the rain drenched her. Their seemed to be a rain cloud which followed her all day. She even had a little mold between the toes to prove it! (Though she would never show anybody.) 'Another day of waiting,' she thought to herself. Never had the thought crossed in her mind that perhaps she could rid their land of all it's evil. Then again who knows if she could truly pull it off.
Suddenly a man appeared to her side! Out of the blueness of a mystical portal he appeared as if some sort of mystical being himself. She looked at him surprised with her eyes nearly bulging out. The man saw her and she marveled at his good looks.
"Good Evening Madam!" The man said bowing to her. He wore a black suit with white gloves and a red flowing cape. His hair was combed back and he sported a simple mustache under his rather large nose. His eyes were brown and at first Kashya was rather taken by him. But she suddenly remembered that she was a Rogue and banished all thoughts of . . .
--Well you don't really want to know what she was thinking.
He got up from his bow and suddenly noticed it was raining. Pulling out a black umbrella (which seemed to have appeared from no where.), he popped it open and looked around.
"This is the Rogue encampment, is it not?" He asked.
"Yes, it is!" Kashya said rather harshly suddenly becoming untrustworthy of this caped man.
"I am Zhon te Fee'iar, Magician and monster slayer. I am here from your add in the Daily Sanctuary news for a monster exterminator! Though I usually just perform tricks I am qualified to kill any monster as well." He said pulling out his monster slaying licence.
Before she could read it he shoved it back in his pocket and it must have been lost forever in his pocket because he could carry more stuff than Four Horadric Cubes!
"Are you sure you are the hero we've been looking for?" Kashya said skeptically. "This isn't some circus show."
Zhon looked around and thought he could argue otherwise, but decided against it. He was about to take her hand and kiss it, (but upon seeing the mold...). So he simply bowed down again.
"I can be anyone's savior! Especially to a camp full of beautiful women." He said looking around and not seeing any. Then one did run up! It was a beautiful blonde whom he instantly became infatuated with. He gazed at her dreamily as she ran in slow motion toward them. She was pretty built for her size. Especially in the arms. She clutched a hammer which he found to be quite sexy. The sweat and rain ran off her as she ran and the bounce of her...
"Hi! I'm Charsi, The Blacksmith!" The blonde said interrupting his fantasy. Charsi out of breath spoke quickly in a enthusiastic voice not taking one breath. "You must be the hero who can save us all!--If you need anything repaired or a new set of armor be sure to drop by!--I'm usually around the front of the camp next to my anvil.--Nice to meet you." She said in one breath, shaking his hand. "Now where has that Gheed gone off too." She muttered under her breath and ran off quickly towards one of the caravan wagons. Zhon would have watched her as she left (with his eyes more towards her posterior), yet he felt Kashya eyes upon him and turned toward the Rogue.
"Well if you are here to save us, I suggest going to Akara for your first quest." Kashya said turning away so she could get back to her job of standing there with her arms crossed.
"I'd better wait for my assistant to get here first!" He announced and stood there for two hours checking his watch every so often. He put his umbrella away by then and decided to just get wet.
"Girls." He muttered. "Never on time."
Finally after three hours his lovely assistant did come, the brunette headed, sparkling, sequined, skimpy dress wearing (so she could move freely of course), Ki-Ki!
"You're late!" Zhon scolded annoyed. "Sorry boss." She said in a Southern accent.
"You can drop the accent, we are out of Aranoch!" He said in his own accent which sounded French to me, but there isn't a France in Sanctuary so I don't know what he would sound like to you.
"Sorry boss." She said in her normal voice.
"I waited for you for three hours!" He exclaimed.
"Can you ever forgive me?" She said looking at him with the sweetest face she could think of. Looking like a sad little kitten, Zhon couldn't help but feel his heart melting like butter.
He smiled. "Of course I can forgive you my little assistant."
"Oh thanks." Ki-Ki exclaimed and gave him a great big bear hug. He hugged her back.
"Now are you ready to perform in the biggest Magic Show of our lives?" He said excited.
"You mean it?" Ki-Ki yelled!
"Yup! Let's go get our first quest!"
"All right!" She said and they exchanged high fives.
(------%------)
They interrupted her praying. "Excuse me, madam!" Zhon interrupted her.
"Look! She looks like one of those nuns..." Ki-Ki explained and Zhon looked at her with a look that meant shut up.
Akara looked up confused. "Can I help you?" She said as if a greeter at a store.
"We are here to get our first quest!" Ki-Ki said excited.
"Kashya said to go to you." Zhon said, mad at Ki-Ki for stating their purpose.
"Well there is this Den of Evil. . ."
"Well do it!" Ki-Ki said interrupting.
"But I haven't. . ."
"We'll do it Ms. Akara!" Zhon added.
And with that they left. Thirty minutes later they were back.
"Um, Ms. Akara Ma'am?" Zhon said sheepishly.
"Yes?" She said confused for they had interrupted her prayer a second time.
"Can we have a map of the area?" Zhon stated.
"And what do we have to do again?" Ki-Ki added.
Akara sighed and gave them a map. She explained how you were supposed to clear the den of evil out of all the monsters.
And they were off on the very first quest.
Don't worry, there's much more and if you didn't like it that's ok-flame me then because right now I need something to warm my feet by. The only thing is we don't have a fire place; so any fire sent my way please contain it in the appropriate manner...
