I am back! I squeezed one more chapter out of my brain before college officially starts. Who knows what will happen when it does start. But here is chapter 10! Enjoy and as I said in the beginning of this story, bring your magnifying glass because there's hidden jokes everywhere. Plus this chapter is probably a little more crude than the other ones, but you are guys. I heard guys like that kind of stuff.
: )
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He walked over to the fire to see Warriv handing out mugs of beer. Deckard Cain sat with a lot of Rogues around him occasionally rubbing their hands on him. At the moment he was engrossed in a story between the occasional sips of his beer. Warriv was sitting by Eudora who was trying to listen to the old mans story as well. Warriv gave a toast to Eudora and she smiled sweetly and gulped her drink down.
"There you are Magician!!!" Warriv said smiling. Secretly he scooted closer to Eudora on the log. He winked and lifted his arm up behind her in order to put it around her. But upon seeing the Magician, Eudora jumped up causing Warriv to fall backwards, sending his cup flying into a tent.
She glared at Zhon not even noticing Warriv's fall. She snorted and walked away briskly.
Warriv looked on with amusement still lying on his back from the fall.
"What did you do to make the lady mad?" He asked trying to get up. Zhon offered Warriv his hand and helped him up.
"She's mad that I didn't help fight." Zhon said a little guiltily. "I was talking to Andariel instead."
"Aaah." Warriv realized. "She is not used to your 'none killing ways.' In fact I think you have yet to kill anything! Why is that?" Warriv asked sitting up straight.
"I don't know. Coincident I guess."
Warriv looked unconvinced.
"Or maybe I want to prove that you can defeat evil without having to kill anything! I'm a Magician you know. Not a warrior."
"Oh yes." Warriv agreed. "In fact some say that if you live by the sword, you are quite likely to die by it as well."
"Hmm." Zhon said pondering this thought. Then he saw a beautiful blond running back to her post.
"I must be going now." He said excusing himself from Warriv. Warriv looked in the direction of Zhon's gaze and saw the Blond Blacksmith.
"Ah. Good luck." He said and mumbled something that sounded like French.
Zhon walked toward Charsi`s Anvil to see her banging on it while humming. Her arm went up and came down like a goddess and the metal below her hammer trembled under the blow. She hummed sweetly and looked at the metal on her anvil with satisfaction. The she saw him.
"Oh hi Magician.---I heard of your victory against Andariel!---That is so wonderful.---But I knew you could do it all along!--Oh and I finished your helmet that you wanted imbued.---You never came back to get it."
She held out the helmet in front of him. He looked at the helmet and at her hand and up to her arm which was attached at her bulky shoulders...
He reached out to get it and realized that he was probably never gonna see her again. He suddenly pulled the helmet out of her hand quickly, causing her to fall forward. He caught her in mid-fall and leaned over to kiss her. His mouth closed around hers and...
Well that isn't exactly how it really happened...(You see Zhon was having one of his day dreams again.)
What really happened was he took the helmet and Charsi went back to banging on her anvil. He walked away dreamily imagining the imaginary kiss he had just had with Charsi.
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It was dawn the next morning. "Wake up everybody!" Warriv called from tent to tent. Zhon muttered groggily. He had just dreamt that he had been with Charsi. She had been holding him in those big arms of hers....
"Are you ready to go Magician?" Warriv said popping his head into his tent. "I'm so excited about finally being able to travel. Plus Eudora and I had a long...talk." He winked and let the tent flap fall back down.
Zhon rolled over groaning a little perturbed things were going so well with Warriv's "love" life.
They ate slop around the fire. Surprisingly Gheed had made it.
"A special treat for the heroes." He said looking especially at Ki-Ki. Unfortunately for him, she was snuggled up against the Paladin because of the chilly morning or so she said. When Zhon heard that Gheed had made it, he suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.
The day was rainy as usual. Zhon was glad he was going to get away from the awful weather.
"I just can't wait to go back to the desert! That is where Zhon and I first started our career you know." Ki-Ki was saying to Dru. He nodded. "I know. I remember him as a child..."
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It was time to leave. Everyone stood around the heroes as they got ready to journey East. Zhon stood awkwardly as many Rogues whom he did not know the names of came up to him to say goodbye. Running their hands on his chest they said goodbye in the most Un-Rogue manners possible.
Suddenly Zhon heard a heavenly voice... "Goodbye Magician." He turned to see Charsi waving at him. But to his luck who should be right next to her than Gheed. He bore his eyes into the small dirty man. Gheed seemed to sense something was wrong and looked up. He gulped uncomfortably and hid behind the buff Blacksmith.
"Zhon . . ." A voice said to his side. He looked to see Kashya smiling coyly at him. Ki-Ki came to his other side.
"I just want to thank you for letting us stay in the Rogue encampment while we were on our quests, Kashya!" Ki-Ki said shaking the taller woman's hand. Kashya muttered something inaudible and Ki-Ki went up to Charsi. Dru followed behind her.
Shaking Charsi's hand she said, "And you Charsi are the best Blacksmith ever! Why I love the new armor you gave me!"
"Yes!--I can't believe no one has ever thought of it before!"
Dru and Gheed looked confused. Well mostly Dru did since Gheed was busy staring at Ki-Ki's...um...he was just staring at her--that is all you need to know. Ki-Ki's saw Dru's look of confusion (and didn't seem to see Gheed's look of um...greed? I mean lust. Or is it the same?)
Ki_Ki said to Dru, "Oh Charsi made me this armor that you wear underneath the clothes! Perhaps you should buy some!"
And with that Gheed and Dru fell backwards...(Anime style.)
"That's ok!" Charsi interrupted. "I think only girls can wear it!--What should I name my new invention?" She pondered.
"Well it is made of Bronze isn't it?" Ki-Ki asked.
"Yes."
Just then some Rogues broke out in a cheer after saying goodbye to Cain.
"Name it the Bron!" She exclaimed.
"The bra?" Charsi asked.
"No..."
Meanwhile, Zhon was saying goodbye to Rouge and Willy. They planned on getting married soon. Rouge even had the skeleton ring to prove it. Provided by one of Willy's fingers of course.
"We plan on going to Entsteig." Rouge was saying. "I heard of a Necromancer who might be able to make Willy into a real human being!" She exclaimed.
Zhon looked over at Willy. Willy's thoughts were of excitement and happiness. A tear formed in Zhon's eye. Willy had been like a brother too him. He would miss him. Willy sensed Zhon's sadness and gave him the feeling that everything would be all right. Then Zhon released his hold on Willy making him free to do as he pleased. The skeleton thanked him and that was the last thought he ever felt from his skeleton.
Suddenly Rouge put her hands around Zhon's neck happily. "Thank you Magician! You have done so much for us! So much for me! And Willy. I felt your release and now I feel his thoughts." She said and cried happily into Zhon's neck. Willy put his arm around her waist and she backed away from Zhon.
"Thanks." she mouthed and walked off with her fiancé, Willy the skeleton.
Kashya had been standing by watching Zhon all the time not knowing what to say. Ki-Ki ran to his side with Dru in fast pursuit.
"All aboard!" Warriv called. Warriv sat in front of the wagon holding the reigns of two horses. He saved a seat for Eudora next to him. She accepted it gladly sharing a special smile with him.
Eudora had forgiven Zhon at Warriv's persuasion. Zhon had told Warriv that he owe him one and Warriv had more than agreed. Eudora and Zhon now had an uneasy relationship. But at least she didn't run at the sight of him.
Zhon turned to leave. "Zhon..." Kashya said a little louder than she intended too. He turned toward her but so did Ki-Ki and Dru. She waved awkwardly. "Bye..." She said.
"Goodbye Kashya." Zhon said bowing and walked toward the wagon without looking back.
"I think Kashya likes you!" Ki-Ki whispered to Zhon.
"Huh? Kashya?" He said in disbelief. He looked back but Kashya had already left, probably to stand with her arms crossed again. "No way!" He said aloud.
"Yes way!" Ki-Ki teased. "I saw the way she was looking at you.
Everyone minus Warriv and Eudora, were forced to sit in the back of the covered wagon. So Ki-Ki, Dru, Deckard Cain, and Zhon scrunched their bodies in the small wagon.
Before Zhon stepped into the wagon he took one last look at the Rogue encampment. There was the way point. There was a bunch of chickens. Akara's tent was over there where she was currently praying for their safety and didn't have time to say goodbye because the sightless eye would somehow see her if she didn't pray every hour of the day.
Charsi's anvil stood lonely over there. Where was Charsi? He looked over to see her standing in the same spot with Gheed trying to tickle him. He sighed sadly and hoped she would find happiness. As if she could read his thoughts she looked over at him and waved grinning from cheek to cheek. Gheed poked her in the side and she jumped and went back to tickling him. Zhon sighed again and grudgingly went back into the wagon.
"I can't believe we will be going through the desert!" Ki-Ki said excitably and curled up next to Dru. Ki-Ki and Dru sat on one side of the covered wagon, so Zhon was forced to sit next to Deckard Cain.
Deckard Cain smiled showing off all of his teeth... which were missing. "Hello my boy!" Cain said in his old man voice. "Wait till I tell you some of my stories."
"Oooh! What about!?" Ki-Ki exclaimed excited. Strange? It seemed that Cain had this strange effect on woman... They were always interested in what he had to say. First the Rogue in the encampment. (Which after Cain had come, they began acting less like warriors and more like... woman.)
And now Ki-Ki. He watched as Ki-Ki leaned forward to hear what Cain had to say. Dru didn't seem to mind as he was in the middle of praying for some sort of protection over the caravan from his almighty God.
Cain looked over at Zhon and winked. "Why I lived a long time. And during that time I was a busy man..."
"Uh huh!" Ki-Ki said excitably leaning even closer.
"Why just wait till I tell you of all my girlfriends during that time!" Cain said his voice raising to an unnatural pitch.
"WHAT?!" Ki-Ki said and pulled her face away from his hitting her head on the back of the wagon in the process. Dru instantly healed it with his Paladin skills and went back to praying.
A puttering noise was heard from Cain's lower half and almost instantly Zhon could smell the something similar to that of methane. Ki-Ki heard it to.
"Ew!" She said holding her nose. The wagon began moving.
"It all started when I was a virgin at 15..." Cain started. Zhon closed his eye's annoyed and wondered how long ago that was exactly...
"My friends dared me to visit a prostitute..."
Dru began to pray aloud for forgiveness or something like that. Ki-Ki covered her ears humming to drown out Cain's voice. Zhon just lay his head back trying to ignore the three people's voices. To make matters worse Warriv began singing outside and Eudora tried to sing along. While Warriv's voice had a nice tenor sound to it Eudora sounded more like a screeching cat than the flowing soprano she was trying for.
"People called her 'The True Woman' because she was the best in town..."
"And forgive those that sin against us..." Dru was chanting.
"Make it stop! Make it stop!" Ki-Ki was saying.
"Laaaaaaah!" Warriv's voice was heard.
"Eya eya eya eya!"Eudora tried to sing.
'This is going to be a long ride...' Zhon thought to himself.
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Now be good children and leave a review or I will be sad...
: |-
: )
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He walked over to the fire to see Warriv handing out mugs of beer. Deckard Cain sat with a lot of Rogues around him occasionally rubbing their hands on him. At the moment he was engrossed in a story between the occasional sips of his beer. Warriv was sitting by Eudora who was trying to listen to the old mans story as well. Warriv gave a toast to Eudora and she smiled sweetly and gulped her drink down.
"There you are Magician!!!" Warriv said smiling. Secretly he scooted closer to Eudora on the log. He winked and lifted his arm up behind her in order to put it around her. But upon seeing the Magician, Eudora jumped up causing Warriv to fall backwards, sending his cup flying into a tent.
She glared at Zhon not even noticing Warriv's fall. She snorted and walked away briskly.
Warriv looked on with amusement still lying on his back from the fall.
"What did you do to make the lady mad?" He asked trying to get up. Zhon offered Warriv his hand and helped him up.
"She's mad that I didn't help fight." Zhon said a little guiltily. "I was talking to Andariel instead."
"Aaah." Warriv realized. "She is not used to your 'none killing ways.' In fact I think you have yet to kill anything! Why is that?" Warriv asked sitting up straight.
"I don't know. Coincident I guess."
Warriv looked unconvinced.
"Or maybe I want to prove that you can defeat evil without having to kill anything! I'm a Magician you know. Not a warrior."
"Oh yes." Warriv agreed. "In fact some say that if you live by the sword, you are quite likely to die by it as well."
"Hmm." Zhon said pondering this thought. Then he saw a beautiful blond running back to her post.
"I must be going now." He said excusing himself from Warriv. Warriv looked in the direction of Zhon's gaze and saw the Blond Blacksmith.
"Ah. Good luck." He said and mumbled something that sounded like French.
Zhon walked toward Charsi`s Anvil to see her banging on it while humming. Her arm went up and came down like a goddess and the metal below her hammer trembled under the blow. She hummed sweetly and looked at the metal on her anvil with satisfaction. The she saw him.
"Oh hi Magician.---I heard of your victory against Andariel!---That is so wonderful.---But I knew you could do it all along!--Oh and I finished your helmet that you wanted imbued.---You never came back to get it."
She held out the helmet in front of him. He looked at the helmet and at her hand and up to her arm which was attached at her bulky shoulders...
He reached out to get it and realized that he was probably never gonna see her again. He suddenly pulled the helmet out of her hand quickly, causing her to fall forward. He caught her in mid-fall and leaned over to kiss her. His mouth closed around hers and...
Well that isn't exactly how it really happened...(You see Zhon was having one of his day dreams again.)
What really happened was he took the helmet and Charsi went back to banging on her anvil. He walked away dreamily imagining the imaginary kiss he had just had with Charsi.
(----------------%----------------)
It was dawn the next morning. "Wake up everybody!" Warriv called from tent to tent. Zhon muttered groggily. He had just dreamt that he had been with Charsi. She had been holding him in those big arms of hers....
"Are you ready to go Magician?" Warriv said popping his head into his tent. "I'm so excited about finally being able to travel. Plus Eudora and I had a long...talk." He winked and let the tent flap fall back down.
Zhon rolled over groaning a little perturbed things were going so well with Warriv's "love" life.
They ate slop around the fire. Surprisingly Gheed had made it.
"A special treat for the heroes." He said looking especially at Ki-Ki. Unfortunately for him, she was snuggled up against the Paladin because of the chilly morning or so she said. When Zhon heard that Gheed had made it, he suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.
The day was rainy as usual. Zhon was glad he was going to get away from the awful weather.
"I just can't wait to go back to the desert! That is where Zhon and I first started our career you know." Ki-Ki was saying to Dru. He nodded. "I know. I remember him as a child..."
(---------------%------------------)
It was time to leave. Everyone stood around the heroes as they got ready to journey East. Zhon stood awkwardly as many Rogues whom he did not know the names of came up to him to say goodbye. Running their hands on his chest they said goodbye in the most Un-Rogue manners possible.
Suddenly Zhon heard a heavenly voice... "Goodbye Magician." He turned to see Charsi waving at him. But to his luck who should be right next to her than Gheed. He bore his eyes into the small dirty man. Gheed seemed to sense something was wrong and looked up. He gulped uncomfortably and hid behind the buff Blacksmith.
"Zhon . . ." A voice said to his side. He looked to see Kashya smiling coyly at him. Ki-Ki came to his other side.
"I just want to thank you for letting us stay in the Rogue encampment while we were on our quests, Kashya!" Ki-Ki said shaking the taller woman's hand. Kashya muttered something inaudible and Ki-Ki went up to Charsi. Dru followed behind her.
Shaking Charsi's hand she said, "And you Charsi are the best Blacksmith ever! Why I love the new armor you gave me!"
"Yes!--I can't believe no one has ever thought of it before!"
Dru and Gheed looked confused. Well mostly Dru did since Gheed was busy staring at Ki-Ki's...um...he was just staring at her--that is all you need to know. Ki-Ki's saw Dru's look of confusion (and didn't seem to see Gheed's look of um...greed? I mean lust. Or is it the same?)
Ki_Ki said to Dru, "Oh Charsi made me this armor that you wear underneath the clothes! Perhaps you should buy some!"
And with that Gheed and Dru fell backwards...(Anime style.)
"That's ok!" Charsi interrupted. "I think only girls can wear it!--What should I name my new invention?" She pondered.
"Well it is made of Bronze isn't it?" Ki-Ki asked.
"Yes."
Just then some Rogues broke out in a cheer after saying goodbye to Cain.
"Name it the Bron!" She exclaimed.
"The bra?" Charsi asked.
"No..."
Meanwhile, Zhon was saying goodbye to Rouge and Willy. They planned on getting married soon. Rouge even had the skeleton ring to prove it. Provided by one of Willy's fingers of course.
"We plan on going to Entsteig." Rouge was saying. "I heard of a Necromancer who might be able to make Willy into a real human being!" She exclaimed.
Zhon looked over at Willy. Willy's thoughts were of excitement and happiness. A tear formed in Zhon's eye. Willy had been like a brother too him. He would miss him. Willy sensed Zhon's sadness and gave him the feeling that everything would be all right. Then Zhon released his hold on Willy making him free to do as he pleased. The skeleton thanked him and that was the last thought he ever felt from his skeleton.
Suddenly Rouge put her hands around Zhon's neck happily. "Thank you Magician! You have done so much for us! So much for me! And Willy. I felt your release and now I feel his thoughts." She said and cried happily into Zhon's neck. Willy put his arm around her waist and she backed away from Zhon.
"Thanks." she mouthed and walked off with her fiancé, Willy the skeleton.
Kashya had been standing by watching Zhon all the time not knowing what to say. Ki-Ki ran to his side with Dru in fast pursuit.
"All aboard!" Warriv called. Warriv sat in front of the wagon holding the reigns of two horses. He saved a seat for Eudora next to him. She accepted it gladly sharing a special smile with him.
Eudora had forgiven Zhon at Warriv's persuasion. Zhon had told Warriv that he owe him one and Warriv had more than agreed. Eudora and Zhon now had an uneasy relationship. But at least she didn't run at the sight of him.
Zhon turned to leave. "Zhon..." Kashya said a little louder than she intended too. He turned toward her but so did Ki-Ki and Dru. She waved awkwardly. "Bye..." She said.
"Goodbye Kashya." Zhon said bowing and walked toward the wagon without looking back.
"I think Kashya likes you!" Ki-Ki whispered to Zhon.
"Huh? Kashya?" He said in disbelief. He looked back but Kashya had already left, probably to stand with her arms crossed again. "No way!" He said aloud.
"Yes way!" Ki-Ki teased. "I saw the way she was looking at you.
Everyone minus Warriv and Eudora, were forced to sit in the back of the covered wagon. So Ki-Ki, Dru, Deckard Cain, and Zhon scrunched their bodies in the small wagon.
Before Zhon stepped into the wagon he took one last look at the Rogue encampment. There was the way point. There was a bunch of chickens. Akara's tent was over there where she was currently praying for their safety and didn't have time to say goodbye because the sightless eye would somehow see her if she didn't pray every hour of the day.
Charsi's anvil stood lonely over there. Where was Charsi? He looked over to see her standing in the same spot with Gheed trying to tickle him. He sighed sadly and hoped she would find happiness. As if she could read his thoughts she looked over at him and waved grinning from cheek to cheek. Gheed poked her in the side and she jumped and went back to tickling him. Zhon sighed again and grudgingly went back into the wagon.
"I can't believe we will be going through the desert!" Ki-Ki said excitably and curled up next to Dru. Ki-Ki and Dru sat on one side of the covered wagon, so Zhon was forced to sit next to Deckard Cain.
Deckard Cain smiled showing off all of his teeth... which were missing. "Hello my boy!" Cain said in his old man voice. "Wait till I tell you some of my stories."
"Oooh! What about!?" Ki-Ki exclaimed excited. Strange? It seemed that Cain had this strange effect on woman... They were always interested in what he had to say. First the Rogue in the encampment. (Which after Cain had come, they began acting less like warriors and more like... woman.)
And now Ki-Ki. He watched as Ki-Ki leaned forward to hear what Cain had to say. Dru didn't seem to mind as he was in the middle of praying for some sort of protection over the caravan from his almighty God.
Cain looked over at Zhon and winked. "Why I lived a long time. And during that time I was a busy man..."
"Uh huh!" Ki-Ki said excitably leaning even closer.
"Why just wait till I tell you of all my girlfriends during that time!" Cain said his voice raising to an unnatural pitch.
"WHAT?!" Ki-Ki said and pulled her face away from his hitting her head on the back of the wagon in the process. Dru instantly healed it with his Paladin skills and went back to praying.
A puttering noise was heard from Cain's lower half and almost instantly Zhon could smell the something similar to that of methane. Ki-Ki heard it to.
"Ew!" She said holding her nose. The wagon began moving.
"It all started when I was a virgin at 15..." Cain started. Zhon closed his eye's annoyed and wondered how long ago that was exactly...
"My friends dared me to visit a prostitute..."
Dru began to pray aloud for forgiveness or something like that. Ki-Ki covered her ears humming to drown out Cain's voice. Zhon just lay his head back trying to ignore the three people's voices. To make matters worse Warriv began singing outside and Eudora tried to sing along. While Warriv's voice had a nice tenor sound to it Eudora sounded more like a screeching cat than the flowing soprano she was trying for.
"People called her 'The True Woman' because she was the best in town..."
"And forgive those that sin against us..." Dru was chanting.
"Make it stop! Make it stop!" Ki-Ki was saying.
"Laaaaaaah!" Warriv's voice was heard.
"Eya eya eya eya!"Eudora tried to sing.
'This is going to be a long ride...' Zhon thought to himself.
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Now be good children and leave a review or I will be sad...
: |-
