Helo! I am trying to be original so I have (with the help of my good friend
the oddish) done a few chapters for the people who are a tad bit obsessed
with the x-men (all three of 'em!!!!)
I do not own the x-men
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Kurtism
(Meaning: the belief that Mr Kurt Wagner is a divine god and must be worshipped accordingly)
Rules for membership
To become a Kurtian (pun alert!!!) you cannot be diabetic, as the religion requires a tremendous intake of sugar. Vegetarians and vegans are also unable to take part in Kurtism as the divine one's favourite meal is bacon.
Food
Kurtains must eat at least three chocolate bars a day but may work off the calories by doing what ever they wish. The more food you eat the closer you will become to the blue god. There are competitions everyday between Kurtains at the dinner table. This can include 'How-much-food-can-you-fit- in-your-mouth?' and speed eating contests. The winners ascend higher into the Kurtism society. The only flavour yoghurt you allowed to eat is toffee and banana's must be eaten regularly.
Symbols and salutes
When greeting another Kurtian you must use the symbol for peace and tranquillity that looks a lot like the star trek salute but means something totally different. While doing this you can either say 'May our blue god live forever' or 'Kurt rules, neener neener neener' whichever one moves you. If there are lots of non-Kurtains around (and because we don't want our religion polluted by non believers) a German greeting may be used such as "Gutan Tag!"
Language
German is preferred to be used as often as possible as it is a noble language but it is not essential. Swearing is strictly forbidden (when was the last time you heard an X-man swear?) instead you may say "Oh Bamf!" or "For Kurt's sake!". Reciting the most important (and funniest) lines that Kurt has in X-men evo is done on a daily basis. These lines include:
"As you say in America: Neener neener neener!"
"Chicks dig the fuzzy man!"
"Bumpity-bupity SPLAT!"
Many others can be used and if you ever see them on TV you simply HAVE to recite along with them (I'm not sure why, it just happens!)
Clothing
Blue MUST be worn at all times. Americans must wear it to school or at least blue accessories and British children may only go to schools with blue school uniform. Dying your hair blue is allowed but not mandatory.
Exercise
Hanging upside down is seen as good meditation time and as the blood rushes to your head, you can use the brief moments before you faint to contemplate how Nightcrawler feels as he does this from his tail.
Acrobatics are used very often in Kurtian exercise as well as gymnastics. Performances are regular and even though you do not have to be good at acrobatics it is considered to be helpful towards gaining full blessing by the blue fuzzy one.
Kurt hands
You have to pretend that you have only three fingers ALL THE TIME! Splitting your fingers except to write or type is blasphemy and can be punished by having elf ears glued onto your face or being spray painted blue.
For beginners to Kurtism, cello tape may be used to get them used to the feeling of having three fingers but be warned this hurts A LOT if you forcefully pull it off. Soak the cello tape first if you do not wish to wax your fingers if you get what I mean!
Hymn and prayer
Sung to the tune of Oh come let us adore him: pretty much the same but the chorus goes
Oh let us see his tail
Oh let us see his tail
OH LET US SEE HIS TAIL!!!
OHHHHHH! Night-crawler!
Prayers end with the words "X-men" instead of Amen.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Which one do you want next? ^_-
I do not own the x-men
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Kurtism
(Meaning: the belief that Mr Kurt Wagner is a divine god and must be worshipped accordingly)
Rules for membership
To become a Kurtian (pun alert!!!) you cannot be diabetic, as the religion requires a tremendous intake of sugar. Vegetarians and vegans are also unable to take part in Kurtism as the divine one's favourite meal is bacon.
Food
Kurtains must eat at least three chocolate bars a day but may work off the calories by doing what ever they wish. The more food you eat the closer you will become to the blue god. There are competitions everyday between Kurtains at the dinner table. This can include 'How-much-food-can-you-fit- in-your-mouth?' and speed eating contests. The winners ascend higher into the Kurtism society. The only flavour yoghurt you allowed to eat is toffee and banana's must be eaten regularly.
Symbols and salutes
When greeting another Kurtian you must use the symbol for peace and tranquillity that looks a lot like the star trek salute but means something totally different. While doing this you can either say 'May our blue god live forever' or 'Kurt rules, neener neener neener' whichever one moves you. If there are lots of non-Kurtains around (and because we don't want our religion polluted by non believers) a German greeting may be used such as "Gutan Tag!"
Language
German is preferred to be used as often as possible as it is a noble language but it is not essential. Swearing is strictly forbidden (when was the last time you heard an X-man swear?) instead you may say "Oh Bamf!" or "For Kurt's sake!". Reciting the most important (and funniest) lines that Kurt has in X-men evo is done on a daily basis. These lines include:
"As you say in America: Neener neener neener!"
"Chicks dig the fuzzy man!"
"Bumpity-bupity SPLAT!"
Many others can be used and if you ever see them on TV you simply HAVE to recite along with them (I'm not sure why, it just happens!)
Clothing
Blue MUST be worn at all times. Americans must wear it to school or at least blue accessories and British children may only go to schools with blue school uniform. Dying your hair blue is allowed but not mandatory.
Exercise
Hanging upside down is seen as good meditation time and as the blood rushes to your head, you can use the brief moments before you faint to contemplate how Nightcrawler feels as he does this from his tail.
Acrobatics are used very often in Kurtian exercise as well as gymnastics. Performances are regular and even though you do not have to be good at acrobatics it is considered to be helpful towards gaining full blessing by the blue fuzzy one.
Kurt hands
You have to pretend that you have only three fingers ALL THE TIME! Splitting your fingers except to write or type is blasphemy and can be punished by having elf ears glued onto your face or being spray painted blue.
For beginners to Kurtism, cello tape may be used to get them used to the feeling of having three fingers but be warned this hurts A LOT if you forcefully pull it off. Soak the cello tape first if you do not wish to wax your fingers if you get what I mean!
Hymn and prayer
Sung to the tune of Oh come let us adore him: pretty much the same but the chorus goes
Oh let us see his tail
Oh let us see his tail
OH LET US SEE HIS TAIL!!!
OHHHHHH! Night-crawler!
Prayers end with the words "X-men" instead of Amen.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Which one do you want next? ^_-
