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Forgive and Forget

Chapter 5

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RING! RING!! RING! RING!!

"Yes?" I said into the speaker, still half asleep. I took a glance at the clock, seven thirty!!! Who'd call me now?!

"Hey Lils! It's me, Bella!" Oh, it's Bella, my best friend.

"'Lo Bel, What are you doing? Cal-calling me this early in the morning?" I yawned.

"Well, I tried calling you all yesterday, all the day before that and the day before that! But you were never at home! So I had to catch you sometime didn't I?" oh yeah, I forgot, Linda (my servant), told me that a girl called continuously for 3 days.

"Lily, is it true? The rumours? Were you really er . abducted by this James Potter person?" She sounded really worried, I can just imagine her brows scrunched together on her pretty face. Concern reflecting off her clear blue eyes.

"Er . look Bella, this is kinda awkward over the phone. How about you come over later? I'll tell you then." I was still really tired.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. But . won't your parents mind?" Bella asked tentatively, even though I never told her the mutual feelings between my parents and I, she knew that I didn't get along with them at all.

"No, no they won't. Besides, Petunia ask her friends over everyday so I think it'll be alright. And if they don't like it. Tough!"

Bella giggled. "Ok then, I'll see you in half an hours time ok?"

"Yeah, ok. See you then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I placed the earphone back onto its holder. Thinking about everything that had happened the past week. Bizarre. That's the word. Everything was so weird. I got raped a month ago, I was criticised by my rapist in court, I got crazy and went to prison to talk to him and almost got raped again by another man. And then unexpectedly, my former rapist saved me and I ended up making somewhat friends with him.

I tried to picture James in my mind and surprised myself by finding it so easy. In my mind, his unruly locks were rustling in the wind. He was wearing a casual pair of jeans and top. There were no dirt on him, instead he looked clean and polished and irresistibly handsome. I then pictured myself next to him. A small figure, looking fragile and easily blown away by the wind..

I then saw him turn and my stomach did an involuntary somersault. He wasn't looking at me in the way he had been in the woods. Not the cruel, devilish one: or the nervous, fidgety one I saw in the cell. The look within his eyes was something more, much more. So deep it made my heart tighten and my breathing stop just knowing what it means.

His eyes never blinked or wavered as he leaned closer and closer towards me. I can feel his warm breath on my lips and my pulse quickened. Slowly, his eyes began to shut as his lips drew closer.

Yes . just a little closer . just a little.

"Hey! My darling little sister. Your friend is here." Petunia's voice came to my ears.

"Wha..?" I groggily got up. I can't believe I fell asleep!

"You know, the only friend you've got, the one with the curly brown hair and blue eyes. Dear-oh-dear, shall I tell her you've forgotten her?"

Silence.

"Who were you thinking about anyway?" She looked at me with dislike.

"Wha? No one. No one."

"Don't lie to me. I heard you talking in your sleep. 'C'mon, just a little closer. Kiss me.'" Petunia made a kissing noise. "Yeah right! As if anyone would want to kiss you!" She sneered.

Dammit, was I muttering? I didn't know I sleep talk, damn damn. Oh well, too late now.

"Just leave me alone, Petunia. I haven't got time for this. Talk to one of your stupid friends if you want someone to nag." I said coldly as I rushed out of my room.

I ran into the living room, not really caring that my hair was messed up.

"BELLA!!" I exclaimed as I swooped down and gave her a big hug. "How are you? It's been ages since we've seen each other!"

"Calm down, Lils. And hello to you too!"

"Oh, sorry, hey! C'mon, let's go to my bedroom, we can talk there without anyone listening." I pointedly tilted my head towards the spiral staircase, where Petunia's mop of blonde hair stuck out of her bedroom door.

The day was followed by my own account of what had happened. Bella wanted every single detail. And when I told her about my little trip to the prison, she yelled.

"YOU WHAT?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? LILY? HE COULD HAVE HURT YOU AGAIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE SO STUPID!!"

"Geez, calm down Bella. Or Petunia the nosy will hear you! But you're right, I was stupid. And something quite . nasty did happen. Er." It was hard to say this. I haven't told anyone this because a) I was suppose to be at home when it happened and b) my parents will go mad again and will want to bring the matter to court. And c) they'll want the full account of what happened and I don't want to share it out with them.

"Go on, Lils." Bella said, her face eager and concerned.

"Well, um." I coughed, "there was this guy who was suppose to bring me to Ja - Potter's cell. But." I paused, should I really continue? "Unfortunately, he had other intentions in mind." I suddenly felt very scared as I imagined John's face again, twisted with barely controlled lust.

Realisation dawned upon Bella's eyes. And she opened her mouth slowly, pronouncing each word clearly and gradually. "He didn't, oh my god, tell me he didn't. Oh Lily, what must it have been like? I'm so sorry."

I sniffed, my eyes were kind of stinging now because I didn't want to blink in case the tears in my eyes will fall.

"He did an-and. it was horrible. Bella! He was all over me. Kissing and . doing other stuff. It was horrible." My voice went oddly squeaky as I tried to hold back the tears.

Bella looked sympathetically at me, her hands reaching for a tissue. "Here." She said, handing me one.

"Thanks."

I hated acting weak. Even if it was in front of my best friend. I hated the feeling of someone seeing you so helpless, so vulnerable. I hate it. But the rape has made me feel that way a lot recently.

Bella gave me a minute to gain self-control again, for which I was grateful.

"So what happened then?" She asked softly, not pressuring me to tell her.

"Well." And I proceeded to tell her the rest. All of James rescuing me and everything. I didn't tell her about the conversation we had about our parents, I don't know why, I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

She stayed silent for a while. A mature, intelligent look replaced the eager, confused one. I waited patiently.

"Lily." oh no, I know that tone, she's going to say something I won't like. "Are you sure you think of him just as a rescuer? Nothing more?"

Now why did she ask that?

"Of course, what else could I think of him beside that and my drunken rapist?" I found myself not scared whenever I think of him now. Instead, a warm, bubbly feeling swelled inside my chest. It prickled in a nice way.

"Because . well, because. Look, Lily, I know you. I know how you react. It seems to me that you . well, you . you like him in a . more-than-friendly way. You know.?"

I stared at her. She must've gone crazy, she must've. I don't like James in that way, I mean, he is awfully good-looking, and quite polite, and we have a lot in common, but . I don't like him! At least not in that way.

"What are you talking about? Of course I don't like him in a more-than- friendly way!!" I punched Bella lightly on the shoulders. Attempting to make it funny.

But Bella didn't seem to find it funny, on the contrary, she looked very serious and stern.

"I can't believe you like him! How can you like him, Lils? He's raped you, for god's sake! And don't deny you like him, you're blushing right now." She said shrilly as I opened my mouth to protest.

I was flushing, yes, but that's because she was been absurd. And I was getting quite angry, being a red-head meant a fiery temper. "I'm red because you're being ridiculous! That's why!! And he didn't really want to rape me, I told you, he was drunk and he said he couldn't stan-"

"For heaven's sake, Lily! Look at you. You're buying all this bullshit he's telling you. How naïve are you? He only said them to get on your good side so he can get away with rape!"

"That's not tru-"

"Isn't it? Then why has he been so nasty to you in court and nice to you in his cell. It's because he doesn't want the public to know he's secretly changing your mind. Wake up, Lils! He's using you."

"James is not ("Oh it's James now is it??") using me, he was being so nice. He told me so much stuff about him as well. He saved me Bella!!! He sav- ARGH!"

I clutched my stomach, eyes shut and lips bit together. What was that? My stomach suddenly felt as though someone had punched it.

Bella's angry expression immediately became one of alarm and concern.

"What is it, Lils? What is it?"

"My stomach, it just - argh - it just."

I rubbed it. Suddenly realising that it was slightly bigger than I remembered.

I paled.

Oh my god.

I gathered every weird occurrences that had happened in the last one month and put them together.

I was pregnant.

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A/N What do you think. I'm only thirteen so I don't really know much about pregnancy and how they react, I hope the court thing is right also coz I've never been to a court meeting. Hope you enjoyed it, bye

PS I don't know how those weird symbols were up there or why. But I didn't do it ^^